Erin yawned as she slumped behind the wheel of her car. She was exhausted and frustrated and god, did she just want to scream. Instead of screaming, she rested her head against the leather steering wheel and fumbled with the car keys. She started the car, and the vibration was weirdly relaxing under her head.
"Pull yourself together," she muttered out loud, "Jay needs positivity."
Yawning again, Erin shifted her car into drive and sped down the street, heading for Jay's physical therapy place. Traffic was rough so late in the day, so the normally ten minute drive took closer to thirty, and by the time Erin parked her car in the lot of Jay's temporary home she was frustrated and ready to start fighting someone.
A small voice in the back of her head told her that Voight was right, that she was running herself ragged with all the late nights visiting Jay. But she shook that thought out of her head, and pushed open the door to the VA physical therapy center.
"Hey Kayla, " Erin greeted the front desk receptionist with a smile and a small wave.
"Hi, Erin," the young woman responded, "Jay was actually doing really well today. He looped around the building one and a half times."
Erin's grin brightened, "That's great! I'm glad he's one the mend."
Kayla waved after Erin, "I'm sure he'll be glad to see you."
Erin nodded and waited for the buzzer to sound so she could head down to Jay's room.
The entire walk there, Voight's voice sounded in her head. You're on a first name basis with the night receptionist. You're spending too much time there. Nothing better happen with Halstead, Erin.
Erin forced a smile onto her face as she pushed open Jay's door, "Hey, Halstead! How're you feeling?"
Jay was slouched in his bed, arms crossed over his chest and an ESPN report on the Bears playing on mute.
"Like shit, thanks," he grumbled, wincing as he shifted in bed.
"Geez" Erin said, dropping her body into the familiar plastic chair next to Jay's bed, "You're just Mary Sunshine today."
Jay sighed, "Sorry. It's just… I'm ready to get out of here."
"Kayla told me you lapped the building today," Erin said, leaning forward on her elbows.
"Yeah," Jay snorted, "Until my leg crapped out and I hit the floor."
Erin made a sympathetic noise, "You've only been here two weeks. It's going to take some time for everything to get back to normal."
"I hate being here," Jay grumbled, "I want to get back to work."
"Well it you're going to mope around you won't get back to work any faster," Erin snapped, sick of Jay's one-man pity party.
He frowned, "Yeah, maybe you should go. I'm not in the mood for visitors right now."
"Fine," Erin said stiffly, gathering up her bag and jacket, "Feel better."
She ignored Jay when he called after her, storming out of the PT center. She stopped when she got outside and leaned against the brick wall.
Erin bit down on her lip to suppress a sob, but she couldn't contain it any longer. Letting out a harsh breath, Erin sunk against the wall of the building, crying harder than she'd cried in years.
Erin couldn't catch her breath, so she was hiccupping and wiping tears and snot off of her face as she sat on the sidewalk.
She hadn't expected Jay to be so… angry. He was just angry all the time. Nothing could have prepared her for this complete change in personality. She knew he would probably have had a harder time adjusting, but she didn't expect him to be so damn pessimistic.
Jay was normally so happy, and positive. He was the one to cheer Erin up. She didn't have experience being the positive one in their partnership.
This was so much harder than she anticipated.
Wiping off her face, she pushed off from the ground, steadying herself against the brick. She wanted a drink, a piece of chocolate cake, and to cuddle up under her covers and sleep for a year.
Instead of driving to Molly's, she found herself standing on Voight's doorstep.
"Hey," she said when he opened the door," Have any of that cake leftover from your birthday?"
"Yeah," Voight nodded, "Come on in, kid."
He nudged the door open further, and Erin ducked under his arm, kicking off her sneakers as she walked.
Voight trailed behind her, noticing the slump of her shoulders and the messy ponytail.
Erin rummaged through the fridge, bringing out the leftover cake and the gallon of milk, without saying a word.
"You want?' she asked, holding up the knife.
"Nah," Voight shook his head, "Have at it." He dropped into one of his kitchen chairs and watched Erin cut herself a huge hunk of cake.
He let her sit down and eat a few forkfuls before asking, "You okay?"
Erin kept her gaze trained on the cake. She poked at it with one of the fork's tines, "Not really."
"Wanna talk about it?"
"Not really."
Voight nodded, "Okay. Works for me. You staying long?"
Erin shrugged. She knew she didn't really have a right to be acting like a moody teenager.
So what that Jay was pissed off? It wasn't her job to fix him.
"I can toss on a movie," Voight said, leaning back in his chair, using a nonchalant tone.
Erin shrugged again. She was so tired. Tired of work, tired of Jay's mood, tired.
"Come on," Voight said, standing up and patting her shoulder, "Bring your cake inside. We'll watch a movie."
"Thanks, Hank," she mumbled, knowing sooner rather than later he would be giving her some kind of "reminder" that she and Halstead were off the table. Not that she needed one.
In Jay's current mood, he was in no place to start a relationship. Not that she wanted to start one.
Damnit, she just wanted her partner back. She wanted everything to go back to normal.
Erin woke up the next morning with a blanket that Camille had knitted draped over her body.
She sighed and stretched, "Hank?"
"In the kitchen," he called back.
Wrapping the afghan over her shoulders, Erin padded, barefoot, into the kitchen and took a seat in the same chair Hank had been sitting in last night.
"Thanks for letting me stay over," she said, pulling her feet onto the seat and wrapping her arms around her knees.
Hank turned away from the stove, "I'm never gonna kick you out, Erin."
She nodded. They were quiet for a while. Hank was cooking eggs and toast, and Erin picked at a thread in her jeans.
"Just so you know," she said when the silence became unbearable, "There's nothing going on with me and Jay."
"I know," Voight said, putting a plate of eggs in front of his daughter in everything but blood, "Eat up."
Erin did a double take, "What? You know?"
Voight sat down with his own plate of eggs, "Unless I missed something before Halstead left for duty, and I'm positive I didn't miss anything, when would you two have had time to start something?"
Erin gaped a little as she watched Voight eat his breakfast, "You're unbelievable."
Voight shrugged, "I trust you, Erin. I told you that nothing was going to happen with Halstead, and I trust that you would listen to me."
Erin immediately felt guilty for the less-than-partnerly feelings she had been having for Jay.
"So, now you gonna tell me why you showed up so late last night covered in tears?" Voight asked, leaning back to sit his coffee.
Erin shoved a forkful of eggs into her mouth to stall for time. But from the look on Voight's face, he wasn't going to let her off so easily.
Eventually, she sighed, put her fork down and said, "It's Jay. He's been…not himself since he got back."
"That's understandable," Voight said, almost gentle, "He went through hell over there."
"I thought that everything would go back to normal when he came home," Erin said, "Instead it's gotten worse."
"Have you talked to him about seeing someone?" Voight asked.
Erin shook her head, "He's so miserable with PT, he barely talks. It's all grunting."
She gave a sly smile, "It's almost like talking to you."
"Hah," Voight laughed sarcastically, "Give the kid time. He's only been back in the States for what? A week?"
"Two," Erin corrected automatically, "And then there was the week and a half in Germany."
Voight nodded, "He's just gotta get his strength back. Give him time, and give yourself some time too. You're gonna kill yourself, being over there at all hours of the day. You're getting too close."
Erin protested, "I'm not…I only go after work."
Voight pinned her with a glare, "I've seen you sneak out at lunch, Erin. Let Halstead have his space."
Erin frowned at her eggs, "Fine."
She pushed away from the table, "Thanks for breakfast. I gotta go change."
Her tone was slightly clipped, which was how Voight knew she was pissed. He wasn't around to sugar coat things for her; he hadn't when she was 15 and he wouldn't now.
Just because she didn't want to hear what he had to say, didn't make him wrong.
A/N: Hey guys! Sorry for the long wait. It's been a little crazy by me. We've got a little insight into Erin here, and a little with Voight. Next chapter is going to have a little bit of a time jump, just a few weeks.
I'm hoping I'll be able to get the next chapter out a little faster, but please bare with me. I'm definitely going to finish this story, it might just take a little time.
Also, OMG how amazing was last night's episode? GO BURGESS! And the Linstead moments had me screaming. :)
