Beyond the Seaside Town of Horrors, according to the map, was a castle. The road now curved away from whatever sea the town had lay beside, and turned towards a thickly forested patch of land. Here the crooked trees blocked out most of the sunlight, and angry eyes seemed to reside in the patches of darkness along the road (though there was no concrete proof of their existence). The road, after weaving through some especially thorny thickets, stopped at a castle. It was one of the eastern European types, with gothic spires all over the place. The door, a thick wooden semicircle, opened when they approached it. The man who opened it was quite the handsome figure, who looked a lot like a young Tim Curry.

"My my my, who could you exceptional fellows be?" asked the man.

"We're just some travelers." Said Wes.

"Well, you travelers can't stay out there. You'll have to wait for the snow to melt, first. Why not spend the night here in my castle? Hmm?"

Even though there had not been a speck of snow a moment earlier, there now was a massive drift blocking the road.

"How-"

"I'm sorry, I haven't introduced myself. The name is Count - Van Service, though you can call me Countie if you'd like." He winked at Wes as he said the name.

"Where did the snow-"

"I insist that you must stay the night, darlings."

The count did not look like he was going to take no for an answer. The outside air was rapidly beginning to chill, so the travelers reluctantly stepped inside. The castle's interior was well protected from the elements, and it had been elegantly decorated with long, flowing carpets of red and purple. The walls were made of a decorated wood, and warmly lit every few steps by lamps chosen for their appearance instead of their electrical efficiency. There was a faint, but unmistakable whiff of lavender in the air.

"The castle should provide any services you might need. You may meet some of the other inhabitants; don't worry, they won't bite! Of course, I couldn't forget to mention that we've just opened up our magnificent hot spring to guests! You simply have to take a dip- the sensation is unforgettable!"

A servant of some kind approached the count, and whispered something in his ear.

"Ah, that reminds me! I have something to attend to. Feel free to make yourselves at home." He then strutted away down a hallway with the servant.

"What a strange man." Dan said.

"He seems to have taken a liking to you, Wes." Aletterosa said.

"I was hoping that wasn't the case."

Wes looked around for where he could find a place to rest. The main floor of the castle was host to many numbered rooms on the first floor arranged in a grid, along with some larger rooms for the purposes of cooking and entertainment. Wes decided to look around the second floor. Dan decided to investigate the hot spring that had been so heavily advertised. Ash, after stumbling around multiple times (after Misty and Brock had died, his mental functions seemed to be rapidly declining), lurched into room 107, and shut the door. This left Aletterosa numbly watching TV on the first floor, where the trouble began with someone knocking on the door. After several minutes had passed without some servant or royal official answering the door, she reluctantly trudged over to do it herself. Behind the door was a pizza delivery girl; how she managed to get past the snow drift was a mystery.

"How did you get here?"

"I'm exceptionally good at my job." The girl said. "Your name is Aletterosa, right? I've got one large meat lover's pizza, with extra sausage."

Aletterosa did not remember ordering a pizza. "I don't think I have enough money to pay for this up front."

"Oh, don't worry. I can think of other ways you could pay for this."

"Do you take checks- what are you doing?"

What the delivery girl was doing was just the tip of the iceberg, for a camera crew and a band were trying to sneak in unnoticed. Of course, the loud funk music was a real giveaway.

"Now listen," Aletterosa said, now as a dragon, "I'm going to pay for this goddamn pizza with a check-"

"Whoa there! Stop!"

The count had come running in. "Now, now, let's be reasonable. Here at the castle, we all like to have a little fun now and then. We accept that some people have more questionable tastes than others. But I'm afraid that you're going to have to stay human to relax here, because we sure as hell don't accept furries!"

"I don't have fur, Mr. Van Service. This is cartilage. The stuff your ears are made out of."

"Well, we don't accept fishies either, or whatever you would call those people. So if you don't switch back, I'm afraid I'll have to evict you."

"I'd like to see you try."

"OK." He snapped his fingers, and Aletterosa was suddenly outside again. The temperature had now dropped several dozen degrees below freezing; she quickly resumed her human guise to better withstand the cold, though it did not help very much. After a moment, she found herself back in the castle. The delivery girl was in tears, and the camera crew had abandoned their equipment to argue with the band over who got access to the ever dwindling supply of cannabis.

"So that's all settled, then? Good. Now, please apologize to this poor girl for hurting her feelings." The count said.

"Maybe if she puts her shirt back on."

The count sighed, and gestured to the girl, who slowly put her shirt back on. "Now, go and say that you're sorry."

She walked over to the girl. "I'm so very sorry that I hurt your feelings. I'm sure you are a wonderful person."

She then walked to the kitchen, grabbed a knife, and then held it in front of her while retreating to the hallway. These did not turn out to be safe either, for after taking a few steps to the left, a pair of identical twins appeared at the end of the hallway. They looked to be about twenty, and they were wearing what appeared to be the remnants of an outfit after it had been thrown through an industrial fan.

"Come play with us. Forever and ever." The twins said in unison.

Aletterosa decided to go to the second floor.

However, the second floor had not been much better, as Wes was the first to find out. He had first tried some of the rooms, only to find them locked. The first door he came across that was unlocked held a surprise. Specifically, the count, some awful 'romantic' type music, candles, and some scattered rose petals.

"Why hello there, darling. Why not pay me a visit?"

Wes decided to try the next room. He found a rather unassuming one that seemed like a good place to relax. It did not seem that way when the count suddenly appeared next to him, though.

"Why do you keep running away, darling? I don't bite." The count showed off his perfectly normal teeth, which were not pointed in any way, shape, or form. Wes made for the door again.

"I don't understand why you keep running away, Wes."

Wes turned around. "Mr. Van Service, this situation has been getting a little strange."

"I'm afraid that I don't understand."

"For god's sake, Mr. Van Service. You invite me to your castle, and now you're asking me to have a conversation with candles and rose petals!"

"And?"

"Mr. Van Service, I think you're trying to seduce me."

The count laughed. It was a rich, ringing laugh that was a rarity amongst men. "I don't think you get it, Wes."

"What exactly is it that I don't get?"

"You're thinking about this the wrong way. I'm here to offer you an opportunity."

"What kind of opportunity?"

"Every story needs a romance, Wes. That is the opportunity I'm offering you by letting you stay in this castle."

"Every story?"

"You're going to write a book about your adventures here someday. I can see it in your eyes. And when you're writing that book, it will need a romance. Everybody likes a romance. It's hardwired into our brains; we get a rush of euphoric chemicals when we think about it. It adds conflict and passion. Even if it doesn't really fit in, there has to be a romance. Your future book is no exception. If you don't add a romance, it's going to be terrible and no one will like it. That is what this castle is for! It provides you opportunities to add that missing romance in your adventure. It doesn't have to be me. There are plenty of doe eyed freaks here that would love to join your quest. Or you can use this time to see your existing comrades with new eyes. Like that dragon girl; if Miyazaki made it work, so can you. Or that handsome bearded fellow, if that's the kind of crowd you're going for. Opportunities, Wes."

"I don't think I'm going to write a book about this, and I especially don't think that it would need a romance. There are plenty of good stories without romance."

"Now that's just crazy talk, darling."

"Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go to an empty room, and relax."

To this end, Wes exited the room and walked to the opposite end of the hallway before checking to see which doors had been locked. The first door he tried led to a red room with velvet curtains that had been draped over most of the walls. In the corner was a sturdy wooden bookshelf that held a large collection of shitty romance novels in fifty shades of hardback covers. Not having anything better to do, he locked the door and settled on the bed and started reading one. It was a story about a dazzling knight rescuing a princess, only reimagined in a modern setting to make it sound less hackneyed. It was really depressing to read.

After a short while, Wes heard the muted sounds of what sounded like a scuffle coming from outside. This was followed by some hurried footsteps before the door was opened by Aletterosa.

"I thought I locked that damn thing."

Aletterosa ignored him and shut the door, and began barricading the door with the furniture.

"What's outside that we need to hide from?"

"It's one of those platoons of girls that like to latch onto one person. You know how it goes. There's the normal one, the helpless one, the bipolar one, the psychotic one, the one that looks like a boy, and the one dressed like a cat. Once they see you, they surround you and try to maul you until you tell them which one you actually care about. They're also exceptionally hard to kill. It's like they're robots or something. I've never seen real people act like that."

"So they latched onto you? I thought they were supposed to target socially awkward losers."

"Today must be the exception. I tried stabbing the helpless one to make them go away, but she just pulled out the knife and cleaned her teeth with it. There wasn't even any blood! There's something wrong about this place."

"Well, the count already told me about it. This castle is supposed to help us find romance so I can put it in a book later. I wonder what Dan ran into?"

(For the purposes of this story, it is sufficient to say that Dan found himself a good time.)

Aletterosa, having finished blocking off the door, turned to the window, which showed the snow drift still as thick as ever. The sky was an inky black punctuated only by the moon, in direct contrast to the previous night skies that held billions and billions of stars. It was strange, considering the castle was in the middle of the wilderness.

"This story is ludicrous."

Aletterosa turned around. "You mean that book?"

"Yeah. Frankly, I'm not surprised, given who owns the place. He probably selected them based on their shoddiness."

"Perhaps he did."

"Do you think those girls you saw are gone?"

"If they left, I'd imagine something even worse would take their place."

"Well, that's just the thing. If we're going to spend the night in this room together, well…"

"Well, what?"

"Well, the thing is, you see, there's only one bed…"

"I noticed. You should probably go to sleep soon, or you'll be too tired in the morning. It's so wonderful to be able to stay awake all the time; you can accomplish twice or more in a day compared to your average human."

That answered one of his questions.

That night, Wes had a strange dream. It was one of those dreams that have a striking impact on you, even though you quickly forget most of the details. In the dream, Wes was floating amongst the stars. The stars, after lazily drifting in a circle, suddenly arranged themselves in the pattern of a S. This S grew brighter until it transformed from a collection of stars into a living creature. It resembled a ragworm, being small, segmented, bristly, and hosting all the colors of the rainbow. The ragworm approached Wes and looked up at him. Wes was not an expert on annelids, but he knew that they didn't have eyes, though this one did not seem to care as it stared right at his face. For some reason, he felt compelled to let it rest in his hand. He then brought it closer to his face to try and examine it. The ragworm opened its jaws, and cocked its head to the side as he looked at it. And then it spoke. What was especially odd was that it spoke in Wes's voice.

"We're all friends here."

And then it began to sing. It wasn't a song with words, but it sounded beautiful. A writhing mass of ragworms gathered around Wes's feet, and began to sing along with the one in his hand. These other worms had many different voices; those of children, teenagers, adults of all ages, and they all sung perfectly.

"Wake up!"

Wes slowly adjusted to reality again, where Aletterosa was yelling at him. "Man… I was having the most wonderful dream."

"The snow drift is gone. We need to get out of here as soon as possible, in case some more horrible creatures try to chase us."

"Alright." Wes staggered to his feet, and then followed her out of the room. Fortunately, the hallways were clear, so they found their way back to the entrance with relative ease. By some strange coincidence, Dan and the count were waiting for them there.

"Well, I hope you take my advice seriously in the future, Wes. It just might save your status as the newest author in the canon of Western literature. And with that, I bid you adieu." The count then left them.

"We should leave now." Aletterosa said.

"Aren't we, um, missing someone?" Dan said.

At that moment, the door to room 107 opened, and Ash stumbled out of it. He was determinedly clutching two pieces of paper.

"Hey guys! Meet our new friends!" He held up one sheet of paper, which had a crude drawing of a girl with a bandana.

"This is May! Say hi to our friends, May!"

He then roughly shook the paper up and down.

"I'm glad you agree with me, May! Now, say hi, Max!"

He held up the other sheet of paper, which had another drawing, this time of a young boy.

"Max is shy. Anyway, these are our friends and they're coming with us."

"We should really leave right now."

The others shared her sentiment, and took off on the new trail marked by the map at a brisk pace.