Being the tenth in a series of Umbrella Academy/WWE fanfics


Featuring-

Spaceboy a.k.a Jack Swagger

The Kraken a.k.a Edge

The Rumour a.k.a Melina

The Séance a.k.a Kizarny

Number Five a.k.a Chris Jericho

The Horror a.k.a Kane

Vanya a.k.a Lita

The Cobweb a.k.a Rey Mysterio

The Springheel a.k.a Evan Bourne

The Chaos a.k.a Rachel

The Reflection a.k.a Jeff Hardy

The Kinesis a.k.a Christian [Jay]

The Valkyrie a.k.a Rosei

The Genius a.k.a Santino Marella

The Warrior a.k.a Triple H

The Zap a.k.a Maryse

The Undertaker a.k.a The Undertaker

The Crystal a.k.a The Miz

The Ball a.k.a Morrison

The Flame a.k.a Natalya

The Octopus a.k.a Beth Phoenix

The Choke a.k.a Big Show

The Banshee a.k.a Jillian

The Piper a.k.a Jamie Noble


Rated- action based


Raising Kane Part 5 [part of a mini-series]

The Umbrella Academy have come to the wrestling ring in the middle of the city.

Todd Grisham greets them.

"Two of you need to go to the HQ over there and meet with The Genius and The Warrior. You are to sign an agreement on the rules of today's event."

"I'll go." says Number Five.

"Do you want me to come with you?" asks The Valkyrie.

"OK. If tensions become strong you can calm everyone down."

"What should the rest of us do?" asks The Kraken.

"You have to go along to HQ and wait in your team's room. The doorman will show you the way. Once the matches start your team will all be placed in a holding cell beside the ring."

"A holding cell?"

"Yes. The other team will be placed in one too. To stop any outside interference in the matches. The cages are made of a material that is impervious to your powers."

"Wow. Some planning has gone into this."

"No. You're just predictable."

"Ah. Nice to see you again Choke"

"Likewise. I'll enjoy suffocating you tonight."

"Good. I'll enjoy kicking your arse."

"Good luck with that."

"Mm."

"So we're agreed to the terms then?"

"Yes. No outside interference in matches. Any changes to the match card have to be agreed to by both teams. Whichever teams wins the most number of matches wins the city. If we win, it stays safe. If you win, you do whatever evil to it you so wish."

"Evil. I like it. Well it's been nice meeting with you. Good luck tonight."

"And the same to you."
And The Genius, The Warrior, Number Five, and The Valkyrie leave the room and return to their teams.

Just ten minutes to go.

Ladder Match

"We welcome you to the city ladies and gentlemen, and I'm sure you'll agreee we're in for a treat this afternoon!"

"We sure are JR! Just look at how we're kicking things off; a LADDER MATCH with several beautiful women."

"They may be beautiful but I wouldn't want to get on the wrong side of these women. We see The Flame and The Octopus entering the ring, two very dominant women. Makes you wonder how much they're going to dominate the Umbrella Academy team of The Rumour and Vanya. The inclusion of Vanya considering she doesn't have any powers is very interesting indeed."

"Well as long as she can wrestle, that's all that matters."

"Feeling lucky?"

"Y'know I heard a rumour tha-"

"Cut the crap missy," spits The Octopus, lashing one of her tentacles at The Rumour, crushing her larynx. Blood spurts everywhere.

"MELINA!" cries Vanya, as she rushes to The Rumour's side. "It's OK, we can do this. I'll distract them and you climb the ladder. Do you think you can manage?"

The Rumour nods and winces in pain.

Vanya runs towards The Octopus.

"Come on then. Why don't you try and get me?"

"Aww honey why would I even waste my time?"

"Because this is a Ladder Match. And there's no disqualification in Ladder Matches. Which means, I can do this," and she pulls an axe out from under her shirt."

"She had an axe up there?!"

"Good job she didn't fall over with that under there. Could have had a nasty accident."

Vanya charges towards The Octopus' tentacles and chops off several of them with a few swoops.

"She's moving so fast you can barely see her!"

"I thought she had no powers."

"Well she obviously has some sort of agility, I've neevr seen someone move so fast."

"AAAHHHHHHH," cries The Octopus in unbelievable agony. "You're going to pay for that bitch," she says, her eyes on fire.

"Let me have the pleasure," says The Flame, and she breathes flames towards Vanya, surrouding her with a ring of fire.

It brings back memories to Vanya.

Memories of fire.

And white light.

The Orchestra Verdammten.

Her.

The White Violin.

The end of the world.

Motionless, distracted by her thoughts, she doesn't notice as The Octopus yanks The Rumour off a ladder [who has been struggling to climb to reach the briefcase for the past few minutes], with one of her surviving tentacles.

The Flame darts up the ladder and grabs the briefcase containing a paper stating that the one who grabs the briefcase has won a match for their team.

Villains 1. Umbrella Academy 0.

The Umbrella Academy are watching in horror from their holding cell.

"That was horrific," says The Valkyrie in shock. "Do you think they'll be OK?"

"We can patch up The Rumour. But if Vanya doesn't move soon she'll fry." says Number Five, worried.

"VANYA; MOVE!!!" bellows The Kraken.

Suddenly snapping out of her trance, Vanya jumps into the air and over the ever rising wall of flames.

She isn't concerned her team has lost.

She knows who she is.

And that's more of a threat for mankind than the villains winning the wrestling tournament.

TLC Tag Match

"Well you never know JR, we might actually see some wrestling in this match."

"That'd be nice. Here we see the villains' team entering the ring. The Crystal and The Ball are an extremely talented duo, seeing them in action against The Cobweb and The Springheel is sure to be an epic match."

"And don't forget about the other two competitors JR; The Choke and The Kraken! I can't wait to see who'll do best out of those two."

"Indeed, we have the wrestling talents and intelligence of The Kraken pitted against a giant with very bad breath who can destroy anyone in his path."

"Ooooh, my spidey sense is tingling," The Crystal mocks The Cobweb.

"And I see he has a bit of a spring in his step," The Ball mocks The Springheel.

"Really? I see I have a spring in your head," backchats The Springheel, as he jumps and viciously boots The Ball in the head, sending him into the ropes.

For fifteen long minutes the teams battle each other, assaulting their enemy with a whole host of wrestling moves.

"You can attack me all you like, but all it takes is one breath and I can crush you," says The Choke to The Kraken.

He breathes a large puff of toxic breath towards The Kraken, who doesn't so much as wince.

The Choke is confused.

"Why ain't you on the floor?"

The Kraken waits for the cloud to clear before he replies.

"I guess you didn't do your homework," he smirks as he. "I canhold my breath indefinitely."

The Choke looks angry. His power is his trademark and now its of no use.

"Fine I'll just crush you."

"Oooh scary."

"I bet you can't hold your balls indefinitely," The Choke snarls as he smashes a heavy fist towards The Kraken's situations. The Kraken only manages to dodge in time.

"Missed."

The Kraken spears The Choke. The Cobweb 619s The Crystal. And The Springheels uses the Shooting Star Press on The Ball.

The three Umbrella Academy members simultaneously pin their enemies on the mat.

1. 2. 3.

"And the Umbrella Academy pick up a win!" cries JR.

"That was awesome JR!"

"Such a marvellous clash of talents. It sure made up for that brutal beating in the opening match."

"Oh don't remind me. I cry every time beautiful women mess up their faces," says Jerry Lawler sadly.

"You're meant to pay attention to the wrestling, not their bodies."

"You trying to tell me you don't like checking out any of the divas?"

"Well..."

"Ha JR you old perv."

Villains 1. Umbrella Academy 1.

Mixed Gender Tornado Tag Extreme Rules

As both teams enter the ring the atmosphere turns extremely hostile.

There is no love lost between The Chaos and The Zap, who share a mutual hatred for one another.

Yet their animosity towards each other does not even comapre to that between The Reflections.

After so many years of wantying to tear each other limb from limb, now The Reflections have the chance they don't really know where to start.

"Nice to see you again brother."

"The feeling's not mutual."

"Haven't you got anything to say after all this time?"

"You disgust me. You're sick. You're twisted. You're demented...and so am I!" cries Jeff as he spears his brother to the ground and the pair begin punching each other.

The Zap electrocutes The Chaos and cackles.

"How cute, he chose a weakling," sneers The Zap as The Chaos writhes in agony.

"I know you are. But what am I?" taunts The Chaos, as she knocks The Zap down with a typhoon, thus breaking The Zap's hold over The Chaos.

A bloody battle ensues, as The Zap and The Chaos hit each other with every power they have; The Zap charging The Chaos with electric bolts of an ever increasing [and alarming] voltage, and The Chaos assaults The Zap with tsunamis from her fingers, tornadoes from her breath, and earthquakes from stamping her feet.

While across the ring, The Reflections bust each other open with all sorts of weapons, from baseball bats to car doors to phone boxes.

Several painful minutes later, Matt pulls a mirror shard out of his pocket.

"MARYSE! NOW!" he bellows, and The Zap momentarily ceases her violent attack on the The Chaos and fires a lightning bolt at the mirror shard.

The mirror shard glows a strong shade of blue and Jeff's mind is suddenly full of memories.

Memories of the day he and his brother were struck by lightning.

Memories of the day he became encapsulated in the glass prison.

"NEVER AGAIN!" he roars as he blasts his brother with the Twist of Fate.

But as they both fall to the floor Matt grabs his brother and slices him open with the shard.

And then in a shocking confusing moment

Matt and Jeff are both sucked into the mirror shard, and they disappear. As does the shard.

The crowd go silent.

What on earth just happened?

The Zap and The Chaos stare, bewildered, at the spot where their dearly beloveds were just standing.

Instinct kicks in, and The Chaos uses this moment as her chance.

She summons a toaster

"FRENCH TOAST COMING THROUGH!!!" roars The Chaos.

And she smashes The Zap over the head with the toaster.

The Chaos then bulldogs The Zap and pins her.

The Reflections may be lost but the city stands to potentially be in safe hands as the score becomes

Villains 1. Umbrella Academy 2.

Buried Alive Match

The Séance waits impatiently in the ring as The Undertaker makes his legendary [yet extremely slow] entrance.

"I see he brought his imaginary Segway. Any slower and anyone would think that he's dead," murmurs The Séance.

Ten minutes later and The Undertaker has finally entered the ring.

Immediately The Séance summons spirits of the dead to fight his enemy, but The Undertaker just raises them all back to life and sends them against The Séance, like a legion of zombies.

"Well that wasn't friendly," says an annoyed Séance.

The Séance fights off each one with some wrestling moves. He tries to make one submit but its corpse snaps in two. The head screams as it looks down, horrified, at its detached lower half.

"At least you'll save a fortune on shoes," shrugs The Séance.

The Séance realises another way in which his power may aid him...

"I call upon the spirit of Hulk Hogan!" he cries.

The Undertaker looks thunderstruck as The Séance becomes possessed by the spirit of Hulk Hogan.

"Watcha gonna do brother? You look like you've just seen a ghost," says The Séance/Hulkster, and he goes on to perform a series of totally unimpressive predictable moves that the Hulkster always seemed to win with even though they wouldn't so much as wind a fly...

Yet magically The Undertaker ends up on the floor.

While The Séance turns his back and gloats to the audience, The Undertaker sits up [in the stylish way he does] and stands menacingly behind the oblivious Séance.

As The Séance turns back round he walks straight into a chokeslam, and The Undertaker sends The Séance hurtling into a freshly dug grave up the ramp outside the ring, and begins shovelling the dirt back in the hole.

The Umbrella Academy members bury their heads in their hands as the score becomes

Villains 2. Umbrella Academy 2.

Hell In A Cell Match

"Time for Hell In A Cell. Do you know who The Valkyrie's masked assailant is JR?"

"I don't know King, but I'm sure we're about to find out."

The Valkyrie wastes no time in laying into her opponent. She wants to know who it is she's fighting but convinces herself that it's better to finish the fight first.

Throughout the match her opponent does not seem to do much to hurt her. Everytime they gear up to perform a high risk move that could do The Valkyrie some damage, they seem to back down at the last moment [to some boos from the audience].

Yet The Valkyrie has no qualms about smashing her nemesis' masked face into the steel sides of the cell, or even throwing them off the top of the cell at one point.

After around twenty minutes the opponent has become weary and The Valkyrie dropkicks them to the floor, then performs Starship Pain and picks up the win.

Villains 2. Umbrella Academy 3.

Now that the match is over, The Valkyrie decides it is time to find out who her opponent really was.

And who is under the mask?

The Kinesis.

"Jay." says a stunned Valkyrie. "No...why?"

"We spent years together. And you left me. For him,"and The Kinesis glares over at Number Five, who is in shock at ringside.

The Valkyrie is streaming with tears.

"You never told me. We were friends Jay. I knew there was more between us. But you never made a move. You neevr told me how you felt."

"Why did I have to make the first move?"

"Because whenever I tried you would just push me away!"

"I didn't want to commit myself to you in case it all went wrong and we lost our friendhsip."

"Then why the bloody hell are we arguing about this?!" she screams. "If you were the one who wouldn't get a move on then what do you expect? I waited for you to commit and you didn't. You can't blame me for getting tired of waiting."

"So that's how you see it? A waiting game? You couldn't just give me some time to thi-"

"TIME? TIME? I GAVE YOU TEN BLOODY YEARS SUNSHINE."

The Kinesis looks embarrassed.

"I just felt so scared about losing you if I messed up. I've never been good at emotional relationships."

"It shows."

The Kinesis scowls.

"I felt jealous when you went off with Chris. You complain about me not paying you attention when you tried to make a move, but Chris never even noticed you. How does that make your situation with him any different to ours?"

"Because he never noticed me. You noticed me, but you pushed me away. Ignorance is easier to deal with than rejection. All I had to do was get him to notice me. And then, despite his incapacity to withhold relationships- like you- he decided to be brave. He embraced me. He told me how he felt. And we've made a go of things and it worked. Our friendship, like mine and yours; it goes thicker than surface. We're not just friends Jay, us two have spent years and years through every type of situation you could possibly imagine, yet we've stuck together. Rifts in time sending us to separate ends of the universe couldn't break us apart; and you think another guy can? I feel disappointed you think that little of our relationship."
The Kinesis looks awkward.

"I love you."

"And I love you too stroppyknickers. I always have done," she says softly. "But my love for Chris is stronger."

The Kinesis looks crestfallen.

"I'm sorry Jay. I love you as a friend. I love you a little deeper than that. But Chris never pushed me away. And I'm sorry, but it's him I want to be with."

The Kinesis is biting his lip, trying not to cry.

"I'm sorry. For all of this."

"So you should be," says The Valkyrie.

"I guess there's no chance of us ever, y'know, making a go of things?" The Kinesis says hopefully.

"I'd rather discuss this later; our next match is about to start."

-

Ironman No Holds Barred Mixed Gender Tag Match

The Valkyrie and The Kinesis are in shock as they see The Golem walking down to the ring, with hundreds of stone warriors around him.

They will only have fifteen minutes to defeat as many of them as they can and pick up the most pins.

They haven't noticed The Banshee stepping into the ring.

"YOU KNOW YOU WANT MEHHHHHHH. WELL EVERYBODY WANTS MEHHHHHH," she sings, in that oh-so-lovely voice of hers.

But The Valkyrie is not in the best of moods.

And the last thing she wants is a banshee "singing" beside her.

"Will you shut UP." The Valkyrie screams, and with a single punch she floors The Banshee.

JR and King are at ringside.

"Oh my god, she's broken in half!" exclaims JR.

"It looks like she hasn't got the X Factor after all!" chuckles King.

"Remember people, in this match, there are no holds barred. All cheating is legal. First team to get both members of the opposing team down for ten seconds wins the match. And The Banshee has just been counted out. Now it's down to The Valkyrie and The Kinesis to knock out The Golem for ten seconds and they will win the match."

"Looks like this is going to be a 2-on-1 Handicap match then."

"With all those stone men I don't think it's gonna be a 2-on-1 JR. More like 2-on-1000!"

"Well at least The Banshee's gone."

"Yeah, my ears have stopped bleeding now."

"I think mine ran away." JR says, as his left ear is currently hitch-hiking to Tahiti.

"This could be awkward," admits The Kinesis.

"We've had worse," says The Valkyrie, ever the optimist.

"Have we?"

"No."

"Mm. Ah well. Maybe I should have taken up Lord of the Dance after all," The Kinesis says with remorse.

"And maybe I should have been the tooth fairy."

"Have you two finished now?" interrupts The Golem.

"All ready for you and your fearsome army honeybunch," winks The Valkyrie.

The Golem sneers.

"Get them."

And the stone warriors come charging all at once towards The Kinesis and The Valkyrie.

Working together and using all their wrestling talent, the two manage to defeat the vicious unrelenting stone army, until there are no more left to fight; except The Golem.

"You may have defeated my toy soldiers, but you won't be able to beat me. Look at you both, lying in a heap on the ground. Neither of you can barely move," grins The Golem sadistically, as he punts The Kinesis repeatedly in the head.

But now the audience are chanting. Chanting for The Valkyrie. Chanting for The Kinesis.

The adrenaline pumps through The Valkyrie's veins. Memories of time she and Jay have spent together over the years come flooding back to her. She looks at the row of faces of her friends from the Academy staring hopefully back at her.

And Chris.

Chris...

With every ounce of determination The Valkyrie hauls herself up off the mat and sneaks up behind The Golem.

"Hearing voices in your head is never good Randy," she whispers in his ear.

The Golem turns round, surprised to see The Valkyrie standing. With lightning speed, The Valkyrie kicks The Golem in his gut, then hits him full force with his own trademark move; the RKO.

One.

Two.

Thr-

And The Golem kicks out.

"WHAT." screeches The Valkyrie in desperation. "WHAT?!"

She repeatedly punches The Golem in the head.

"Won't [punch]. You [punch]. Stay [punch]. Freaking [punch]. DOWN [punch]."

But what evryone had failed to realise was that there was one stone warrior The Kinesis and The Valkyrie had missed...

And he was about to deliver a skull-crushing blow to The Valkyrie's head.

The crowd gasp.

The Kinesis sees it's about to happen...

"No..." he whimpers, barely able to move or speak. He can't do anything to save her.

And then it happens.

The Valkyrie slumps to the ground and The Golem pins her.

The time limit is about to run out.

Unless one team gets another pin, the match will be a draw.

The Golem pins The Valkyrie again. Her unconscious body doesn't kick out.

The score:

Villains 3. Umbrella Academy 3.

Three-on-One Handicap Lumberjack Match

"And now for our final match King, the one to decide the tie-breaker," says JR.

"I can't wait! Good job this match isn't going to decide the fate of the City or right now we could be doomed!" laughs Jerry Lawler, as the Umbrella Academy members exchange nervous glances.

The participants make their way to the ring.

"Three on one. Looks like you're going down Jericho," laughs The Genius.

"Make that three on two."

Everyone turns round to see The Piper standing in the ring.

"You villains have treated me like a useless pathetic slave for the past few years. I'm sick of it. I want to join the Umbrella Academy. I want to fight for them," he says defiantly.

"Oh look Jamie's all grown up," mocks The Warrior.

"Let's just get on with this," says The Horror, fed up with all this waiting around.

"Sure. Three against two. You still stand a very small chance of beating us," laughs The Genius.

"Not if I can help it," says another voice.

Everyone looks up to see Spaceboy fly down to the ring.

"So, you decided to go crawling back?"

"My place is with the Academy. They are my family. And despite our differences, we all share one common interest; busting your ass."

"Wa-ho steady there Thwagger. What makes you so confident you're going to win?"

"This," says Spaceboy simply, as he punches The Warrior to the ground.

Thus erupts a fight.

After several minutes fighting Spaceboy and The Piper have pummelled The Genius to the ground, and The Horror also after a stunning Gutwrench Powerbomb from the one and only All-Academian Academian Spaceboy.

"We'll keep these two down while you finish off The Warrior," Spaceboy instructs Number Five, as he returns to the outside of the ring to continue battling The Genius and The Horror with help from the lumberjacks.

"The Game's on," growls The Warrior.

"You're nothing more than a hypocritical gelatinous parasitic tapeworm," spits Numebr Five venomously.

"Suck it," The Warrior say simply, as he lunges for Number Five, who uses the opportunity to Lionsault off the ropes and knock The Warrior to the ground before locking in the Walls of Jericho.

"You'll never make me tap out," snarls The Warrior.

After ten minutes in the same position Number Five becomes distinctly bored and breaks his hold.

Just as The Warrior staggers to his feet, Number Five hits him with the Codebreaker and quickly gets the pin.

"Looks like things will neeeeeveeeeerrrrrrrr eeeeeeveeeerrrrr. Be the same. Again," gloats Number Five, as the crowd rejoice in the Umbrella Academy's victory.

Villains 3. Umbrella Academy 4.

One hour after the event...

Number Five addresses the Umbrella Academy.

"All of the villains have been arrested and taken to the defence facility in the next state. It'll take a lot for them to break free, but I'm sure we can expect them to somehow accomplish it soon. Meanwhile I advise all of you to take a well deserved rest. Congratulations to all of you on today's success, it's nice to see us working as a team again."

There is a murmur of agreement and praise from the members.

Number Five continues.

"And I believe after today's events, it's fair to give Spaceboy his job back as Captain of our team."

"I don't deserve it," says Spaceboy, downtrodden.

"Of course you do. You came back when we needed you most. You proved yourself to be a good leader. And I can't continue the post. I don't want to continue the post. Welcome back," smiles Number Five.

He walks away from the group to a quiet area by some trees. The Valkyrie follows.

"What now then?" she asks him.

"Well Spaceboy should be good in charge. Everyone is healing OK. The Rumour won't be able to have her voicebox repaired, but I'm sure she'll be fitted up with a machine that will talk for her. Stephen Hawking style. Or some technology might be discovered that might heal her up properly; who knows? But she'll be fine. As for The Reflection and Vanya..."

"Where did they both go?"

"The mirror shard both The Reflections vanished into was a special piece of mirror. It was the one that was present at the start of their whole story, and has special properties. They could be anywhere. They could be alive. Dead. Suspended in time. I don't know. I don't know how we can retrieve them. I think we're just going to have to carry on without Jeff, and if he returns, he returns."

"That's horrible."
"I know. But there's not much we can do."

"And Vanya?"

"You know what happened before you joined the Academy. It was imperative Vanya did not remember what she did, else it would affect her mind and send her insane. She would either try to do it all again or try and go back and do something drastic, like try and stop herself from having done it in the first place, which cause untold amount of trouble in the way Time works."

"But she couldn't have gone back could she?"

"My time machine has gone missing. As has Vanya."

"Ah."

"So I'm going to use a time travelling device I have acquired to try and find Vanya and bring her back here before she causes any harm."

"I'll come with you."

"No."

The Valkyrie looks stunned for a moment.

"What do you mean 'no'?"

"It's too dangerous."

"How can you say that after everything we've just been through?!"

"You don't know the way Time works, only I do. And I don't have time to explain them to you or anyone else. I have to leave. And only I can stop her. If I had the time to explain things to you I would take you, but I don't. I'm sorry."

"How long will you be gone?"

"I have no idea. Could be hours. Could be weeks. Could be years."

"Years..." whispers The Valkyrie, tears welling up her eyes.

"Don't wait for me. Live your life. Patch things up with Jay. Your life is too short to wait around for me," says Number Five, hurt. He doesn't want to leave but he knows he has no choice.

"But I love you," says The Valkyrie.

"I love you too."

And Number Five leaves.

A/N: Sorry it took so long to finish this, but it's finally done. I know it hasn't been a funny or mysterious chapter but I intended it to be more action based and now it's finally done. A lot of it focused on Kinesis/Valkyrie/Number Five, and in future stories this certainly will not happen. I can't say how long it's going to be before I write anymore of these fanfics, but when I do, they'll focus more on the characters I've neglected. And I'll definitely try to bring more of the humour back! Thanks to the people who've stuck this far in reading the series. Please review and vote on my profile for the characters you would like to read more about in the future!