"Sticks and stones may break your bones but words will never hurt me"
This is such a lie, isn't it? In fact, words are the things that hurt the most. The reason why I've been gone for so long was because I had some certain ...problems a while ago and I didn't feel like typing anything. So...sorry. Now let's forget my sad and lonely life and get back to what we're really here for. This pathetic bullshit. Now time for shout outs! For favorites, Healer of Minds and Dreams, and aliceyuky. For Follows, aliceyucky. And for reviews, special shout outs for Akasha10199, Fine Specimen and a very kind Anon for reading my train wreck of a chapter last time. I was on a timeline. Sorry guys, please don't abandon this story. now DISCLAIMER: If I owned Homestuck, the cherubs would be actual dark angels with a fetish for humans/trolls.
The Server player, The Fourth Wall, and The Final Countdown
You capterlouge your laptop and charger and run to your cosplay chest. You captchalouge your Haruhi cosplay and your troll horn collection. You never know when you're going to need it.
PG: so where do I start?
SG: Try to captchalouge all the things you think you will need in the Game.
SG: Do you know how long the Game will last for us?
PG: no clue
PG: but if Kankri knows about Karkat and the humans then it should be around half of the first year
SG: And if it's that then we will probably meet up a little further into his timeline
PG: if that's the case, and if we fight the final battle with them . . .
SG: We would be playing the Game for 2.5 years or at least the end of the first year
PG: 2 years . . .
SG: Captchalouge what you think you will need for 2 years
SG: How many cards do you have?
PG: kankri gave me 16 captchalouge cards
SG: That will definitely be enough for the game
PG: what about you and latula?
PG: What did she give you?
SG: 12 captchalouge cards, a fetch modus of tree, and a strife specibus card
PG: ha, you got trees
SG: It's not as complicated as you may think
SG: But that doesn't matter right now, what matters now is getting you into the medium
SG: Who knows what will happen if we don't get you in on time
PG: hopefully, no red miles
SG: Hopefully
You hear something else drop in your house, making it shake slightly.
PG: what are you dropping in my house and where are you dropping them?
SG: I've dropped the Cruxtruder in your living room, the Alchemiter is on your front porch, and the Totem Lathe is obviously in your room
PG: how many build grist do we have?
SG: 20, just like John
SG: well, now 16 since I expanded your room
PG: try not to waste them by breaking up my house or making perfectly useless genetic objects
SG: Don't worry I'm not that stupid
PG: sure you're not
SG:Shut up and go to the cruxtruder
ANDY: LOOK OUTSIDE THE WINDOW
You put your phone in your pocket and go to the window. They sky has quickly turned into a dark gray and looked like it was about to rain. Good thing that you don't live near a forest.
You go out the door and make your way downstairs, where you see a large white machine in the middle of the room. The Cruxtruder. You walk up to it and start poking around. You then start messing with the handle wheel.
PG: Jegus, take the wheel
SG: What the fuck are you doing?
SG: Stop messing around
PG: well I can't actually go around and act like I know what I'm doing since the trolls could be watching at any time
SG: Still it should take you less time than this
PG:dude what's the rush?
SG: I don't know, that's the problem here
SG: We have no idea what could happen to you if we don't hurry this along
PG: fine fine but can we use the cruxtruder last?
SG: Why?
PG: so we can avoid the final countdown for a longer time
SG: Fine, whatever, just get back to work
PG: yes master
You run upstairs and to the Totem Lathe and look for the card slot, once you find it, you contact SG again.
PG: so i found the card slot
SG: You want the entrance card?
PG: yeah, might be good to have it on hand if something happens
SG: Okay, let me see…
SG: Oh my gog
PG: what?
SG: Oh, the irony
PG: what is it?
SG: What do you think your entrance item is?
PG: I dont know, a glass ball?
SG: No better
SG: It's a wall
PG: a wall?
SG: A glass wall
PG: whats so funny about a wall?
SG: it looks more like a window than a wall, and it has a target on the fourth glass
PG: …
PG: are you kidding?
SG: Nope
PG: I have to break the fourth wall?!
SG: Yup
PG: Fuck my life. Fuck this game.
SG: Have fun breaking the fourth wall dude
PG: shut up
The black mouse moved and dropped something in front of you It was the card. Unfortunately for you, it was exactly how SG described it. Except, the windows weren't clear, they were an old looking brown. You this game is making fun of you.
You captchalouge the card and walk out of the room. You walk down the stairs and just stare at the Cruxtruder. You take a shuriken out of your pocket and throw it at the large machine. You miss and the shuriken shoots and hits an idol girl. Now you wish that had failed to launch.
You walk up to the Cruxtruder and just stare. And you had a feeling that it was doing the exact same thing. It was just standing there. Mocking you. You knew what you had to do.
ANDY: KICK ITS ASS
You get into position and give the bastard a nice high kick to the face. And by face, you mean the lid. This results in the lid popping off the Cruxtruder and a big flash of warm brown light. The brown, black, and white sprite appears in front of you. The cruxtrudite's top pops out. You hear a ding from your phone.
SG: WHAT THE FUCK?!
SG: What the fuck was that?!
SG: What happened to the plan?
PG: yeah my bad
SG: Your bad? Do you know what you've done?
PG: yeah, i know what i did. i read homestuck too, you ass
PG: cut me some slack
SG: Sorry
SG: I'm just worried about your safety
PG: yeah, i get that but you dont have to worry so much
PG: im fine
SG: Yeah, I know
SG: You must have a pretty strong kick
PG: i like to think so
ANDY: EXAMINE CRUXTRUDER
You examine the white machine after captalouging the cruxtrudite. Everything appears the same, if not for the sprite that keeps following next to you. You take an even closer look. Oh gog.
PG: um, SG
SG: Yeah
PG: my timer is on
SG: You know that was going to happen
SG: What's the problem? What's your time?
PG: Um 3:14
SG: What?!
PG: 3:13
PG: 3:12
SG: Stop counting down and put in the gogdamn slot and get your ass into the medium!
PG: right
[S] ANDY: IT'S THE FINAL COUNTDOWN
You run upstairs and turn into your room. You put the entrance card into the slot on the Totem Lathe and put the cruxtrudite onto the table. The machine shakes and glows. You then run to the door and open it. Oh shit, wait. That was your closet! You can't get outside like thi-!
The shock interrupts your thoughts. You are outside on the front porch, the Alcamiter sitting right there to the left. What the hell?
You step outside and close the door. It was the front door, not the door to your closet. this transportating door thing is pretty useful.
You hear a ding come from your phone.
SG: What the hell was that?
SG: Where did you go?
PG: im outside
SG: How the hell do walk in a closet and end up outside?
PG: i have no idea, im trying to figure it out
SG: Well, hurry up. You don't have much time left
PG: oh please, that door jump only took one second
PG: whats my time
SG: 2:22
PG: …
PG: Sollux would be so proud
SG: Just shut up and break the fourth wall
PG: Isn't it 'Shut up and dance with me'
SG: I'm going to block you
The Alcamiter began to glow a nice chocolate brown light. A large window appeared on the pad. Well, it was now or ever. Just as you prepared to run, you hear a ding. Ugh, what did SG want now? You look at your phone and once you see the handle, you almost dropped it.
[godlyAssasain (GA) began pestering prophetGenesis (PG) at 10:15]
GA: so
GA: were you ever going to tell me?
GA: you know
GA: about us playing Sburb?
GA: and when were you going to tell me instead of sending DA to tell me?
You drop the phone. It was almost as if your body had a mind of it's own. It moved to take a step back and ran forward. Right towards the fourth wall. Your mind seemed to take control at the last minute and you throw your arms in front of your face and jump through the window.
You just broke the fourth wall.
So yeah. That's about it. However, since school started, I won't have much time to write. I write on a notebook but I don't have time to type, so please expect at least once or twice a week update. I am already started Act 2, i just have to type it.
I also have some cool reconidations for fanfics! If you want to see some Karkat and Ancestors, go check out Cursed Red A Karkat and Signless AU by FracturedTwilight. Or if you're into humanstuck, check out Don't you dare forget the sun Karkat by roseofenvy. They are both super awesome!
So now I have to go watch a Lunar Eclipse! SO Witch of BLood, out!
