General Hammond sat at his desk feeling extremely weary. He rested his head on his hands, allowing the feeling to consume him for a moment, knowing that shortly he'd pull himself together again and keep going. It had been a really tough year. Not that his job wasn't always tense – came with the territory. It was just the added worry about Angel that had been weighing heavily on him. It had been tough on everybody but after a while they learned to live with the stress. To barely notice it any more. It was just a part of life.
"Sir?" Walter tactfully pretended not to notice any lack of composure on the General's behalf. "Siler and I have finished cleaning up Angel's office – it's as good as new apart from some papers she'll probably have to resort herself. Also, Major Carter called to let you know that Angel has regained consciousness and that everything seems okay so far."
"Thank you, Walter." Hammond nodded. "That's good to hear."
"Yes, sir." Walter turned to go but then considered the General. "I was just about to get myself a coffee. Would you like me to get you one as well, sir?"
"That would be wonderful. Thank you."
The whispers around the base were all about how Daniel was asking questions about Angel. He'd regained his memory about so many other things. Pretty much everything as far as most people could tell. So far, the situation was too tense for anyone to dare start up any kind of betting. Hammond was beginning to feel optimistic that he'd remember about Angel eventually too.
The trouble was how she and Daniel would deal with this knowledge. Where did they go from there? Angel wasn't exactly in an emotionally stable place and Hammond wasn't sure that everything would be fine even if Daniel had returned with a fully intact memory. In some ways, that might have been even worse. Time heals all, however, he reminded himself – and their love was so strong. Perhaps Daniel could save her yet.
Hammond smiled, remembering how he had won a bit of money in that original betting pool revolving around Daniel and Angel. He had bet that Angel would hold out and wait for Daniel to be the one to admit feelings first. She was the type who would have suffered in the silence of unrequited love forever if necessary. As often was the case with the woman realising what was going on well before the man, Angel had obviously been in love with Daniel for a very long time before Daniel had woken up to his own feelings.
For all of his intelligence, the boy never had been bright in that way, Hammond shook his head. The reaction from most people when those two had finally gotten their act together was 'Thank god, it's about time' and 'You lucky, lucky bastard'.
As much as he hid behind his military bearing, Hammond worried about his people. His family. His 'kids'. At the end of the day when all the fighting and travelling and peril was done with, he just wanted them to be happy. They deserved it after everything they had been through and everything they continued to go through. Hammond liked to think that perhaps the universe owed them that. Unfortunately, the universe tended towards being an extremely unfair place.
Walter returned and placed a cup in front of him without a word. Hammond nodded thanks to him and picked it up. Sipping it thoughtfully he decided to focus on the positive. To keep sight of that light at the end of the tunnel. They were going to make it. They had to. And if anyone could fight their way through the darkness surrounding Angel it was Dr Daniel Jackson. One of the stubbornest men General Hammond had ever had the pleasure of knowing.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Jack sat beside Angel's bed as Doc Frasier checked her blood pressure, temperature, heart rate and pulse for like the hundredth time. Jack couldn't blame her. It was only with extreme willpower that he wasn't also fussing over her like a mother hen. At least Teal'c and Carter had been strong enough to go find some other stuff to do so that Angel wouldn't get annoyed that they were still hovering around full of concern.
"How are you feeling?" Janet asked her patient.
"Fine."
"Angel." Janet admonished.
"Sorry. Still a little shaky but it's over."
"Good. If I let you go back to your quarters in a while, will you promise to rest?"
"Maybe. Probably. Yes. I probably won't leave my quarters for a couple of days. Safer, that way."
"You said you wouldn't avoid him." Janet reminded her gently.
"I won't be avoiding him. I'll be resting. Seriously. Jack, if you could tell him that I would appreciate it."
"What else can I tell him?" Jack asked.
"What does he know?" She sighed. "Apart from what I admitted."
"He was remembering some things while he was here. About the Rohypnol thing in New York for one. Other stuff too, like how you went to some shows there and how you were all protective of him. That you were wearing a purple dress. I think he remembered some other stuff - he didn't really give us a running commentary though. About your bracelet maybe. He asked about it."
"Do you think he knows we were together?"
"Can't say for sure. Took him long enough to work it out the first time so…" Jack shrugged. "But there was that small hint you gave him… you know, when you kissed him."
Angel sighed. "Why, oh why can't you just keep me sedated 24/7, Janet? It would be so much easier."
Janet shook her head in a way that was both amused and disapproving at the same time.
"Oh, and he also asked about your abilities so I told him some stuff about that too. Just the basics."
"That's fine."
"So… what else can I tell him?" Jack asked again.
"I guess you should let him know what I'm like now. The whole 'what to expect from and how to deal with the crazy woman' speech." A tear leaked from her eye. "Tell him that he's won."
"What?" Jack was baffled.
"I give up." She turned her head away from Jack but he saw the tears increasing before she did so. "I'll tell him anything he wants to know. As long as he takes it slow and backs off when it gets too hard and I can't cope. God, Jack, please tell him I'm sorry."
"For what?"
"For making this so hard for him. He had every right to be angry. I thought I was doing the right thing – and maybe I was at the beginning. But after he started remembering everything else it started to be about what was easier for me and I wasn't thinking about what he needed at all. It was selfish and…"
"Stop right there." Jack told her, stroking her hair. "No-one can blame you for being afraid or for finding it difficult to deal with everything that's happened. Now things have sort of come to a head, I think you'll find it easier. You don't have to keep working so hard to avoid him and he won't be pushing so hard. You both can relax a little and take things one day at a time, yeah?"
She didn't answer, just kept crying silently and softly, as though she barely had any energy left. Jack stayed with her until she fell asleep. Then he went to see how Daniel was doing.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Daniel was in his office trying to do some work. It wasn't getting anywhere at all. He couldn't stop thinking about Angel. He ended up going into her office to see how well the mess had been cleaned up and found that he was able to concentrate just enough to put her papers back in order. Even though it wouldn't take too long to fix, he figured that she'd probably be upset anyway if she found it in this sort of mess. This project was obviously something that she cared a lot about and she'd put a hell of a lot of time into.
In a way it was a good thing that he was a little distracted or else he'd have kept stopping to read everything in detail. This ancient-to-english dictionary/glossary was fascinating. He remembered how shy she'd been showing it to him. Like she was afraid that he'd think it was pointless or had no value. Or worse still that it would be so full of errors that she may as well not have begun. That wasn't the case of course. Even Daniel himself would find this reference to be very useful in the future.
Sitting at her desk, he realised there was a bound set of pages – still obviously a work in progress but more complete than the ancient-to-english project – sitting on a shelf nearby. He pulled it out and opened it. It was the same sort of format but this time it was a goa'uld-to-english text. She obviously would have had an easier time compiling this with help from Teal'c and because at the time of his Ascension his notes on goa'uld were more detailed than those he had on ancient. It also would be useful to him since it cross-referenced other unusual goa'uld words and those from more obscure dialects.
He wondered if he and Angel had ever discussed beginning these projects or if she'd decided to start them after his death. He pulled another folder off the shelf and was amazed to discover that it was a beautifully laid out typed version of some other notes of his. Observations about how different cultures had developed on various planets and so forth. It was like she was beginning some sort of compilation of all his work and ideas and theories. In a format that would be actually legible to everyone else. He had to wonder how on earth either Jonas or Angel had deciphered his notes. His handwriting could get a little crazy when he got really into his work.
He replaced the volumes back on the shelf where he'd found them. Tidied the papers he'd sorted for her into a neat pile on her desk. Something had occurred to him so he headed back over to his office and pulled out his journal for P5S-428. It was a planet where the Stargate was housed in a small completely enclosed cavern – no way to get to the surface – whose walls were covered in the most fascinating of writings. He shook the journal over his desk and sure enough the piece of paper he was looking for fell out.
It was a page torn from a notebook. On it was the most illegible piece of chicken scratchings he'd ever seen in his life. He couldn't recognise them as any form of writing or drawing or anything meaningful at all. However, he knew what it was. Only because he remembered what it was.
Jack came into his office then and sat down. "How you doing?" He asked.
"This is a gate address, isn't it?"
Jack glanced at the piece of paper. "Yep. To earth."
"How do I know that when it's complete gibberish?"
"Because you wrote it."
"When I was on P5S-428?"
"If that's the place with all the claustrophobia then yes."
"Why?"
"Your appendix had burst and in between resuscitating you, when you regained consciousness briefly, Angel had to make you write the address down so she could get help." Jack told him with a sigh. "Cos it was just the two of you."
"I took Angel off-world and she didn't know the gate address to get back?" Daniel was shocked.
"Yep. Apparently you forgot the mission prep while you were being a complete bastard – due to a massive fever and whatnot. Threatened to never speak to her again if she ruined your mission. Told her you'd leave her behind if she even thought about blabbing. So she didn't tell anyone you were sick. You got worse and eventually collapsed. Somehow she kept you alive as well as managing to actually get a wormhole established using that crap. Carter reckons even knowing it was a gate address that she wouldn't have been able to work it out. Maybe it was an intuitive thing or the beginnings of Angel's abilities that allowed her to decipher it. Who knows?"
"God."
"She still has a few scars on her knees from where she cut them on rocks whilst giving you CPR." Jack told him. "And the control room technicians still have the tape of her distress call. During which your heart stopped beating and she called you a whole bunch of names that would make a marine blush."
"And she forgave me?"
"Eventually." Jack grinned. "Back in those days, she found it hard to stay mad at anyone for very long. Or at all." His grin faded. "These days… not so much."
"Is she angry with me?"
"That is a question that is way too complicated, my friend. About today though, not really. Most of the time it's more about being angry with herself I've found. Unjustifiably so." Jack sighed. "She wanted me to tell you that she's sorry that she's been avoiding you and that she made everyone promise not to tell you anything about her. She truly thought she was doing what was best for you. Now she realises that as time went on she was actually hurting you – which is what she intended to avoid."
"I think I can understand why now." Daniel nodded. "I'm glad that I'm finally starting to work all this out though. She was becoming a bit of an obsession. Though I'm not sure I'm any less interested in her. I can't stop thinking about her. At least now I can sort of relax about it – I mean, if she really is willing to talk to me now."
"She is. Just give her some space and tread carefully. We've all had to learn how hard and far we can push, when to back off… and when to run like hell. She also wanted you to know that you probably won't see her around for a couple of days because she'll be resting – so you won't think she's avoiding you."
"I can be patient when necessary, Jack."
"And it is necessary, Daniel." Jack sighed. "Believe me."
Jack ran a hand through his hair and Daniel realised just how much this whole thing was affecting his friend. "Jack, I can't even imagine the difficult position you were put in. All of you. And I probably didn't make it any easier."
"S'okay, Daniel. We all just did what we had to. I wish I could just sit here and give you all the answers but I have to be cautious."
"So you don't upset her or make things too hard for her?"
"Yes. Look, things haven't exactly been a walk in the park. There was a period of time where she was extremely destructive, another where she convinced herself you were just on a dig in Egypt and there was a time where she disappeared for a few months. We eventually tracked her down in a little town in Iowa founded by your old pal, Henry Small. We all work damn hard to keep her together. Because we love her. You get what I'm saying?"
"I will be careful. I promise, Jack." Daniel kept thinking about how she'd told Jonas that she loved him and that Jonas had replied 'Me too.' Yet Teal'c had told him that Angel and Jonas weren't a couple. It didn't make sense. Especially since the way she'd kissed him today and the way it had felt. It had felt right.
