Chapter 11
Bart came out of the house, laughing while Homer was recovering from his fall.
"Oh man!" Bart said. "That was the funniest thing I've seen since Ghost Dad!"
Homer went up to his body and shook it. "If I told you once, I've told you at least a dozen times. Don't ever mention that movie!"
"Than how come Lisa gets to mention the horrible movie Hudson's Hawk?"
Homer got upset. "It's not horrible. It's just a comedy that looked like an action flick."
"Like Batman and Robin?"
"Now you're getting it, boy." Homer said.
Bart looked at his father's watch and gasped. "Oh no! School is going to start in twenty minutes! I have to get you to school!"
Homer shook his head. "No way! I have been to that cold place you call elementary school for twelve years. I'm not going back there."
Bart grabbed his father by the shirt and dragged him to the driveway. "Look, Dad, you and Mom always beg me to go to school! Why can't you just go for one day? Unless you don't have what it takes."
Homer pushed Bart away. "You're on, little man!"
Bart smirked "Good! Now, since I'm the adult, I get to driveā¦" He turned to the driveway and found that there was no car. "Hey, Homey, where's your car?"
Homer shrugged. "Wait, where's my car?"
Bart and Homer looked both sides of the street. "Where's your car, Homer?"
Homer scratched his head. "I don't know. Where's my car?"
Bart shook his head. "Dude, where's your car, dude?"
Homer was about to say something but he looked to his right. "There's my car!" And with that. He walked towards Ned Flanders's car. He was about to go into the driver's seat but Bart picked him up and put him into the passenger's seat.
"Hey!" Homer exclaimed. "What the Hell?"
Bart smirked as he got in the car. "I don't know about you but there's something about a ten-year-old driving a car that is illegal."
Homer rolled his eyes. "I bet that you can't hotwire a car."
Bart reached his hand into his body's shorts and into the pockets. There he pulled out a key. "I don't need to hotwire." And with that, he started the car.
Just then, the Flanders's door opened and out came Ned.
"Good morning, neighbor! How is the day that god created for us?"
"Homer" rolled his eyes. "Screw off, Flanders!"
"Okey dokie!" he responded. He was about to walk away when he turned back to the Simpson men. "Hey, neighbor?"
"Bart" rolled his eyes. "What is it, Flanders?"
"Well," he chuckled, while his glasses slid to his nose and he pushed them back up. "Not to be a pestering pedestrian but aren't you taking my car?"
"Bart" chuckled. "Now, stealing is such a strong word. I prefer the term 'taking without asking'.
Ned raised his eyebrows. "But doesn't the Bible say 'Thou shall not steal'?"
"Bart" rolled his eyes. "Does the Bible also say 'Thou shall not be a ninny boy to their neighbor'?"
Ned laughed. "I've read the Bible dozens and dozens of times and I know that those words aren't in there!"
"Homer" chuckled. "Well, you check again! It concerns you especially."
Ned gave the Simpson males the thumbs up. "Alright then!" And with that, he got out his Bible from his pocket and went back to into his house.
Homer lay back into the passenger's seat and sighed with relief. "Those Christians. They'll believe anything that you tell them as long as you tell them it's in the book of Jebus."
And with that, Bart started the car and drove off the Flanders's driveway.
Homer asked, "Since when did you learn how to drive?"
"Internet." Bart answered.
"Good enough." Homer said.
