11
Cassian's mind felt as if someone were inside of it, carving around with an ice pick. There wasn't a part of this that he had come to terms with. He knew Nesta had been sent away for her own good, he never would have suspected that things had gotten this bad to begin with.
At Lucien's response he felt as though he had no other choice but to combust or bust something else. All eyes were on Elain as she fled, and when no one bothered to say anything, Cassian fled down the hall after her.
Better for him not to be in that library. Better that he never grace the threshold of that place again. Elain lost him in a winding staircase of the manor, but was easy enough to track. In the end she had let herself out into the back garden, and when Cassian slipped out the back door after her, she was sitting nearly frozen on the edge of a great stone fountain, her fingers drifting in the water and tempting the cold.
"If you wanted him to yourself, you could have acknowledged the mating bond." Always Cassian. Always tactless.
"I don't care what he does." Classic Elain. Her heart was a secret garden, and the walls were very high.
"Here," He offered. A pair of gloves lay draped over a pot by the back door. Lucien's solstice gift to Elain. He picked them up gently and brought them to where she sat. "These will protect your hands, you know."
"I prefer scarred hands," Elain said matter-of-factly.
"Oh, I bet you do," Cassian barked a laugh. "Are we talking about the shadow singer, then? You won't find him sporting with your sister. Morrigan would kill him first."
"This is why I left the library. Another minute and they'd pin Nesta's baby on me."
"I don't think that's how it works, Elain. Do we need to have the talk? Ask me anything. I'll tell you what I know." His grin was insufferable.
"Not like that!" Elain was flustered now, her face quite red. "I just mean….whenever Lucien does anything….They always make it a point to tell me that it's my fault for accepting him or not accepting him or sneezing when says hello. He's not my responsibility. He's grown, isn't he?"
Cassian paled in sudden understanding. "They mean well, Elain. Feyre and Rhys are so happy, they want everyone to have what they have. And Lucien is your mate. There's no getting around that. He tries to impress you, it's not his fault he's an absolute imbecile."
Elain giggled. "I think that's the first time you've made any sense. How do you feel about him now? Nesta is your mate isn't she?"
Cassian took a seat next to Elain, grunting slightly as he did so, the weight of the day sagging on his shoulders.
"I'd like to put him to bed. Under a rock."
Elain giggled again.
"I went the other way with all of this. I tried to make her my responsibility," Cassian said.
Elain cringed.
"I knew she was hurting. I just thought...that the mating bond would fix it. I hoped maybe she'd just….see me. I didn't understand how she could have come out of this hurt so bad. You - you lost everything she did and then some. You didn't...you didn't sleep with people in the village?"
"Nope!" Elain chirped, embarrassed.
"Yeah, I thought not."
"I heard what you said to her. Declared to her during the war. I don't know how she went from that to…"
Cassian sighed. "Shit happens." He pulled off his coat, and draped the heavy wool around Elain's slight shoulders.
"Doesn't make it easy," She said, and he agreed. "So, what happens now?"
"I don't know," Cassian kicked at some of the stones surrounding the fountain. "You don't drink do you?"
Elain shook her head.
Cassian draped an arm around her neck. "Let's head back inside, and tattle on the lot of them."
