Disclaimer: All characters belong to Cassandra Clare and some scenes belong to the movie Transamerica.
A/N: Finished my work earlier than I expected so here is the next chapter! Development of Alec's feelings :D There are lots of repeated scenes but from Alec's POV, so I hope you won't find it boring and dull.
Warnings: Brief sexual content.
Chapter 10: Budding
A handsome guy came in instead of a Lightwood. Magnus, as he introduced himself, had a pair of deep green eyes. Tall and lean, slightly muscled and simply dressed but stylish. Alec thought Magnus was a model of some sort, it turned out he was a missionary. He tried to call Alec 'Alexander'. Alec didn't like it at all. Only clients would call him that.
A missionary would never be that attractive, or doing good things for God and kindly offered him a ride to New York. Could something that wonderful happened in this world? To him?
However, this was his way out. Though Simon would be left behind, he had to do it. When Simon ran away from his room, Alec thought he lost the only friend of his life. And the chances were this was their last time together.
While they were striding out, they found Alec. The two came out of nowhere and sandwiched Alec on the street. The blonde lilted, "Oh Alexander, here you are." Alec had wondered so many times that his life was a toy played within their fingers. They seemed to have the ability to know his location. Every damn time.
Neglecting their calls, Alec squeezed through them; but they moved faster. The blonde pushed him on the wall by his waist and trapped him. The brunet confronted Magnus. "We need some time with our sweetie, just a moment okay?"
He felt a hand was running on his body and rubbing his side. "Don't… I don't do things like that anymore." Begged, pain and numbness shot to his spine. His bag fell on the ground and Alec clenched the muscular arms. Magnus glance at him then back to the brunet.
The blonde lured, "Tsk, you're being a naughty boy. What should we do to punish you? Or your Simon?"
Punishment. If Magnus backed down, Alec certainly couldn't work for days before full recovery.
Alec heard a silky voice. "He's with me. And I suggest you not to touch him, as the consequence would be an extreme that neither of you could take." At the split second Alec was confident in Magnus he would protect him. His sounded insistent and assertive.
"Keep walking and we won't kick your sore ass." The brunet threatened.
Alec prayed that Magnus wouldn't give him up. His view was blocked by the blonde, who was getting into his jeans. When he saw Alec wasn't wearing anything underneath, he chuckled. "Kinky." And he bit his neck heavily; Alec let out a silent yelp.
Abruptly the blonde was floppy and started to lean onto him. Alec twitched his body to see the two was falling unconsciously face down. Just a second, and they went down like they were dead. Alec looked at Magnus, who was watching the whole incident so calm and unemotional – like it was a trivia.
Magnus commanded. "Stay close to me."
Alec snatched his bag back and dressed himself properly, ran next to the taller man. A hand wrapped around his shoulder; Alec had this familiarity, which he had been into this embrace. And he felt safer than ever. Alec tugged himself closer and hands held on Magnus's shirt. They got into the car parked in front of the police station and went for the highway, heading New York City.
They hadn't talked since then, Magnus just kept on driving and stopped once a motel was spotted in the night. During the way Alec's brain was rewinding the scene where the two fainted at the same time. How could someone do that? Was it one of the things God could do? Like magic. Alec summed up. Maybe Magnus is an angel, sent by the God to save people from misery. But soon he discarded the thought. He was being silly, there was no God. Not ever.
He parked the car and banged his head on the dashboard, Alec started to think if Magnus was really a missionary; he acted and talked differently. Those missionaries he knew would talk about Bible and sins, guiding Alec to believe in God. Magnus hadn't done anything like that yet.
While Magnus was walking to the small office paying for the room, Alec caught a glimpse of a flaxen-haired man looking at his direction, supporting himself by a pole in the long porch. The signal was clear as daylight – Alec was too familiar with the lust and temptation behind one's face. Like an instinct, Alec strode to the young man who quickly went into a door marked 16, and left a gap.
Magnus was still in the small office. Alec thought a handjob or a blow wouldn't hurt. He was pulled into a kiss as he pushed the door slightly opened, the man crushed him against the door and shut it on the way. Alec complained when the handle prodded his back, "Aw, stop pushing me."
The man with pale colored hairs obediently did so and guided Alec to his bedside, himself sat on one corner and Alec remained standing between his legs.
His hunting eyes examining Alec's physique and said, "How much for a night?" The man was playing with his fingers, planting kisses on the back. Alec hesitated.
"A night? I can't make it. Twenty for a blow?"
Just before the man answered, Alec's stomach rumbled loudly. He couldn't help but blush as the man raised an eyebrow. They all liked his blushing.
"How about this. I give you food and you spend a night with me, huh? It's a good deal."
His hands were now caressing his thighs. Alec gulped and nodded. He didn't want to ask Magnus for money because Alec could take care of himself. There was something stubborn inside of Alec that Simon would scold at him when he refused to take free meals from charities. Maybe by doing this, he was not useless, not a child waiting for the feeding.
"But I can't right now. My… boyfriend is here."
Back in Seattle his clients wouldn't do too much to him for they were scared of the gangs, scared of damaging their goods. But now he was alone in this. No one would protect him beside himself. The way to do so was by lying, pretending that someone would back Alec up if anything happened.
The man seemed to be amused. "Does he know you're doing this?" He stood up and went to the desk, throwing a plastic bag upside down and food falling out, some chocolate bars but mostly cup noodles. "You can take it all if you want. I wouldn't mind." Alec walked toward the man and grabbed most of it in his arms. The man chuckled and unpacked a bar, sticking it in Alec's mouth. Alec tongue wrapped around it, swirled the tip and swallowed it all while their eyes lined up, fires ignited in the man's baby blue.
A kiss on his temple. "Andrew. You?"
"Alexander."
His given name was now his street name. He wondered what his parents would think if they saw him like this. It wasn't that they would know, Alec wasn't planning on telling them. When it came to the point, Alec could be a good actor.
Got a spank on his butt Alec was on the way back to their room. Luckily Magnus just got the keys. He followed the taller man inside and showered first. Hot waters touching his pale skin and making it rosy, Alec absently fidgeted with his pendant. Out of the blue Alec didn't want to go. This was his first time ever having a client himself, he was not as confident as Magnus would help him out if Andrew suddenly stabbed him or strangled him to death. He was a missionary after all, not a gang member or body guard. Alec wasn't his good to protect.
He came up with a stupid plan. If Magnus did want him – which was nearly impossible – Alec would stay here and lied to Andrew that his boyfriend found out their deal. Yes, a reasonable excuse.
However, Magnus happened to choose stay away from Alec no matter how hard Alec tried to seduce him. Magnus was indeed different from those missionaries he had encountered with; they usually would threw away their morals and get on to the sex after one or two teasing. And this Magnus wouldn't even look at him.
Furiously Alec got on his bed after Magnus told him to get lost. Pulling the comforter above his head, Alec returned to his own world. In this tiny space contained Alec's dream. He would imagine this was his apartment, maybe living with a partner and having a cat or two. It would be in a neat style, everything only existed for practical purposes. He could decorate it himself because it was his; in reality, nothing was his. Not even his body.
Magnus said, "Come on."
It was soft and awkward at the same time. Probably the man had never dealt with kids before. Decided to give him silence, Alec felt the weight on his bed reduced, and later the shower was on. Alec just curled his knees to himself, hoping everything would be alright. After this trip to New York, he could find his parents, a home and finally had something he could called his.
Magnus was asleep with his limps distorted. Alec felt safe listening to his even breathing. You are creepy. Alec thought to himself as he dressed. To be frank he wasn't that willing to meet Andrew. But a deal was a deal.
Discreetly he stalked to the door and wished it would open smoothly. As if hearing his prayer, everything stayed quiet. Peeping outside, no one was out. And so he slipped his body through the gap and closed the door without flaws. He strode to room 16 and knocked, Andrew soon appeared for the door.
Once Andrew laid eyes on him he smiled wildly and urged Alec to go in. It seemed he was pretty eager as he yanked Alec forward and pushed him on the sheet, covering Alec's body with his. Alec moaned when Andrew sucked on his sensitive areas and grabbed a fistful of pale yellow hairs. Tugging it a bit tightly, Andrew lingered on his collarbone and kissed it harshly. If Alec was right, it would be the only pleasure he could enjoy that night.
"Come here," Andrew pushed himself up and on his knees he pulled out his erection, "suck me off, Alexander." Receiving the order Alec moved downwards and pumped it a few times before engulfed the whole thing; immediately Andrew sighed, nails leaving red lines on Alec's back. This will be a long night. Alec knew.
He only returned to their room the next morning and surprisingly to find that Magnus was still asleep. He thought missionaries would wake up early, apparently not.
"Magnus." Alec said.
He shook Magnus's hip, which wavered following his movement. No signs of waking up, Alec moved his target up to his shoulders. Giving a few shakes, still no response. Alec started to think if Magnus was dead – but no. He checked by placing his finger under the nose, constantly air was blown out. Out of desperation Alec slapped him.
The green eyes darting around the room unfocused.
"Finally, I thought you were dead."
Slowly the pair of piercing green pupils staring right at him. "Where were you last night?" Alec was shocked. How did Magnus know he wasn't here?
"I was here all along. I didn't go anywhere."
He hoped Magnus would drop it, yet he was persistent and continued to question Alec's whereabouts. He was never good at being interrogated.
After he shouted out the truth and explanation, they both fell in silence. He had heard that missionaries didn't like prostitutes and they tried to reform them. Alec sat on his bed uncomfortably, afraid that Magnus would leave him behind because he wasn't worth saving.
Therefore, Alec didn't expect the question from Magnus. "Who is he?"
Wouldn't dare looking at Magnus, he turned his attention to the lamp instead. He wasn't supposed to name any names. It was their ethics. An unspeakable rule among them. Repeating the question, Alec could see Magnus was mad.
"A guy."
However, Magnus was very keen on the matter. Alec said indifferently, "Just let it go, it's not a big deal." Indeed it wasn't. But possibly in Magnus's eyes it was a sin. He asked for Andrew's room number, which Alec definitely not giving him. The sex was just a trade with consents, they were both voluntary to do it. There was no one to blame.
Then Magnus grabbed his stuff and stormed out of the room. "Wait!" Alec yelled, not wanting to be left behind. The motel was in the middle of nowhere, if he was going to New York, it would take much more effort.
Running after Magnus, Alec saw he was staring at the three guys few rooms away on the long porch. He took a quick glance and locked eyes with Andrew – the next second Magnus was jumping at the flaxen-haired man and punched him in the nose.
The whole thing ended up like shit. Alec banged his fists on the dashboard. "What the fuck were you thinking!" He screamed hysterically, watching Magnus's calm expression.
Magnus just looked outside the window. "He touched you."
Everyone touches me. Alec controlled himself not to say it out loud. Why did Magnus care so much? He was a missionary from a church, he was supposed to call him a filthy slut. And yet he punched Andrew for him touching Alec.
What did he ever do to deserve this?
They spent the next few hours driving and stopped at a gas station. There was a small convenience store, Magnus shoved a roll of money into Alec's hand and ordered him buying food while he himself went for the toilet. Alec shrugged and picked some snickers and chips, taking three or four packed sandwiches and breads for lunch into his basket. As he paid the food, he realized how much Magnus had gave him – it was a stack of twenty ten dollar bills.
He didn't know missionary earned that much. Having that much money in his hand made Alec felt so unreal. Eyes darted around to find there was only him and the cashier, he stuffed the rest into his pockets.
Throwing the food into the backseat, Alec waited a few minutes but still Magnus hadn't come back. Out of curiosity he went to check on Magnus and accidentally eavesdropped his conversation on the phone.
"… any idea of the truth. Can't you see? It's not the problem!" He was hissing at someone inside a stall, Alec couldn't help but feel bad for that person taking up Magnus's rage. "Sorry." Magnus apologized and soon replied an agreement. Alec decided it was time to announce his presence.
"Magnus?"
His own voice resounded in the small toilet. Magnus quickly muttered something and walked out of the stall, appeared to wash his hands. Funny thing was Magnus didn't flush. Alec stood in front of the mirror and watched every step of Magnus. On the phone Magnus sounded frustrated and irritated; but not because of the other person, Alec thought it was more to himself.
Magnus had helped him in the motel. He had to do the same too.
"Everything okay?" Alec asked concernedly. Magnus's face remained blank and replied, "Nothing to worry about. Let's go."
Obviously it was avoidance. Alec didn't comment as he respected Magnus's boundary. But it didn't mean he wasn't going to try testing his bottom line.
On their way to Idaho Alec grabbed a snicker bar from the backseat. He stared at Magnus more than he used to. Without doubt he was hiding something from him.
Feeling his intense glare, Magnus said. "What?"
Alec intended to pry a bit further. The thoughts scared Alec, which he wanted to know about this Magnus, this peculiar missionary from Institute. Magnus's frame wasn't as broad and built as his; to the contrary he was thin, yet it was comforting. His attitude to Alec was genial, different from those who had two faces.
Magnus just brushed him off like it wasn't his business. It wasn't but it hurt. People around Alec trusted him with their problems, from his classmates to the girl lived next to him in the shabby building to Simon. Maybe he was just a stranger for Magnus, a package to deliver. Once he finished his mission Magnus would disappear into the crowd and leave no trace in his life. It just hurt.
Turning his pathetic thoughts into hunger, he chewed snicker forcefully.
"Where do you stepfather live?" Stepfather and only by mentioning it a piece of snicker caught in his throat. He managed to get it down and squirmed without acknowledgement.
"You can't be serious." His lips were trembling.
"Well, I told you back then. You should at least say goodbye to him. And Shoshone's on our way." Of course Alec remembered Magnus saying this, but he didn't know he meant it for real. It was his instinct to run away; he dropped his words. "No it's not." And then tried to jump from the car. It was reckless yet Alec would rather die than meeting the stepfather again.
"Alec you better not." Magnus warned. He couldn't care less.
Dejectedly Alec found the door wouldn't open. Magnus noticeably relaxed by his failed attempts of jumping out of the car. But Alec would do anything to avoid the haunting town, if that meant costing his life.
He grasped Magnus's wrist and shook it vigorously, making the car zigzagging. "Let me out! Please just drop me here!" He begged, like the way he asked for a less heavy beating and mercy on his soul, a thing that he was never given.
Magnus tried his best to steady wheel, he shouted. "Stop it Alexander!"
It was like a spell that stunned Alec right there. At that moment Magnus was the blonde, the brunet, his stepfather, Bobby and many others – they would bellow at him whenever he did it wrong. And then punishments followed; Alec involuntarily coiled himself into a small ball, back pressing closely to the seat like it was a solid impenetrable wall. He couldn't hold back his tears.
'Don't do that again, Alexander.'
'You've disappointed me. I thought they taught you well.'
'Alexander, why you are such a bad boy? Why can't you learn?'
'If you're refunded, Alexander, I am sure you will have to stay with us longer. And you don't want that, do you?'
He heard the engine stopped.
"What was that for?"
"I'm not going back. Never." Alec struggled those words out.
"Care to give me a reason?"
Alec let the question hang in the air. He wasn't going to answer that. It was a past that he had no desire to revisit. He had always dreamed if there was drugs or magic to delete one's memory. And if it did exist, he would be getting himself one for certain.
Distantly Magnus mumbled something before getting out of the car. After the door was shut Alec took some deep breaths and mentally reminded himself Magnus was not one of those people. So far the green-eyed missionary only sheltered him from harm and showed cares toward Alec. He wasn't one of those people. Magnus wasn't using him.
He lifted his head up once Magnus was back. He moved gracefully, Alec noted. Magnus threw his hands in the air as if demonstrating how dramatic it was, he said. "We're not going to your stepfather's. I have a friend living around here, we can stay there for tonight."
As soon as Alec got the news a stone was removed from his chest. Seriously he wanted to celebrate with fireworks. But all it came out was a nod and a small thank you from his lips.
