A/N: Alright. Now, this is the last chapter before the two part epilogue. I hope you like it! Thanks to everyone that has alerted, favorited, and reviewed; itzcheeseball, fredesrojo, babyred1995, jstapny, HesMines, nik, KuteKat133, Levana Fay, and Tempe4Boothe thank you for your kind words! :)
He hadn't come there intending to kiss her. He hadn't shown up with the intention of letting down the steel wall he'd erected around his heart and his feelings. Yet he'd done just that.
He pulled away from the kiss, suddenly nervous as to how she was going to react. She was more than a little fragile. Her eyes were tightly shut, her fists clenched at her sides, nail biting into the skin.
"Jen?" he asked hesitantly, touching her shoulder lightly. She moved away from his touch, shaking her head.
"I don't want your pity." she whispered, keeping her back to him.
"You won't get any. This isn't pity, Jen." Gibbs said, reaching for her again.
"Then what the hell is it Jethro?" Jenny asked, turning back towards him. Her green eyes searched his, desperation in them.
"It's love Jen. Love, caring, call it what you want." Gibbs answered, being completely honest with himself for the first time in a long time. Because yes, he did love her and he did care for her. And, admittedly, that had been why he'd come here. When he'd heard she hadn't been at work, his heart had stopped, because Jen never took work off, unless she was dying.
And he knew that these last few months had not been easy in the slightest on her. And he knew that he'd been a bastard, and that things were starting to take a toll on her. She looked tired all the time, and she never went out of the office at a reasonable hour. And he knew that she was alone. He knew how that felt.
"I don't deserve your love." Jenny whispered, a tear escaping and running down her cheek. Gibbs wiped it away, cupping her cheek in his palm.
"Why do you say that Jen? Why do you think that?" Gibbs asked, looking at her intently. She remained silent, her eyes wet and guarded.
"Why should I deserve it? I left you. I gave up everything that I'd ever wanted. Why should someone love me, or care for me?" she whispered, her voice breaking on the last words. Gibbs stroked her face, shaking his head.
"That doesn't mean you don't deserve it, Jen. Everyone deserves someone to care for them." Gibbs said softly, touching his fingertips to the dark circles under her eyes. She lowered her gaze, her eyelashes brushing his fingers. "I mean it Jen."
"But how can you say that, Jethro? How can you mean it?" Jenny asked, her voice barely a whisper. "My mistake cost us a family, a life together."
"But your mistake didn't cost people their lives." Gibbs said, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. She looked up at him, irises confused.
"Jethro what are you talking about?"
He stopped, having been caught. He hadn't meant to let those words slip, but now that he had, he very well couldn't leave her hanging. He pulled her into his chest, tucking her head under his chin as he sighed.
"Because I know what it's like to lose a family. Really lose a family."
Jenny let him pull her to his chest, wrapping her own arms around his waist. She knew this wasn't right; she knew that she shouldn't let him break through her crumbling walls, but she couldn't stop him. Not tonight.
Then, he admitted everything. His family, their deaths, his pain. Right there, in her entrance hallway. She let him say everything, let him talk until he couldn't anymore. She listened to him talk about Kelly, his baby girl, and how she'd been taken. He talked about Shannon, when he'd met her, what she'd been like. She was silent, merely watching his face as he'd talked, his eyes distant as he'd fallen back into his memories. His past.
When he finished, she framed his face in her palms, silently studying him. His hands were settled firmly at her waist, pulling her against his warm, tight body. His eyes were a burning blue color, setting her skin on fire. Before she could even really think about it, she kissed him, tangling her fingers in his short hair, pressing her body even more into his.
He responded immediately, one hand digging into her lower back, the other tangling in her long curls. His tongue ran along her bottom lip, demanding entrance, which she granted. He pushed her against the wall, catching her off guard. He trailed his lips down to her neck, sucking on her pulse point. She gasped, his name coming out as a breathy moan.
He pulled away, his gaze considerably darkened, and brushed a loose curl away from her face. His fingertips brushed her skin, causing her to shiver.
"Upstairs?" he asked huskily, the slightest hint of uncertainty in his voice as he watched her. She nodded, curling her fingers around his before tugging him up the stairs.
What could one night hurt?
The next morning, she wasn't sure if it had been the right thing to allow him into her bed. She'd rolled away in her sleep, her back to him as she lay on her side, staring at the wall. She could hear Jethro's snores, could feel the heat radiating from his body even though she wasn't touching him.
Her heart was fighting with her head; her head firmly believed that there was no way that he could still love her like he claimed, while her heart said that he could. He had shown it last night, her heart said. Her head wasn't so sure.
It had been beautiful, not that she'd expected anything else. He'd held her, afterward, stroking her hair as he'd whispered in her ear, his voice lulling her to sleep eventually.
Slipping out of bed, she silently walked into the bathroom, closing the door behind her. She looked into the mirror, looking at her reflection closely for the first time in a long time. She didn't put up the defensive front with herself, but merely looked at herself honestly, assessing the damage.
Her hair was full of split ends, her eyes held deep, dark circles underneath them, her skin was pale from lack of sleep and over working. Her hands had calluses from holding a pen for hours each day, her feet ached from being encased in heels, and she'd lost a considerable amount of weight since taking the Director position. Her eyes held sadness from being alone, and her lashes seemed to constantly cling with unshedable tears.
She barely recognized herself.
She wiped her damp eyes, clearing away the tear streaks from her cheeks before walking back out into the bedroom, slipping on a pair of panties and a nightgown before curling back up under the covers, watching Jethro sleep. He looked younger when he slept, oddly enough.
It felt…freeing, to know of his history from him. Now she didn't have to hide it from him that she'd known, which she had no idea how she would have done.
He started to stir next to her, and she closed her eyes, pretending to sleep. If he wanted to make a break for it, she wouldn't stop him. It would be easier this way.
"I know you're not sleeping Jen." he said, and she silently cursed. He'd always known her too well. Slowly, she opened her eyes, sighing quietly.
She sat up, pulling the covers with her to ward off the chill. Jethro sat up as well, finding his boxers near the bed and pulling them on. He regarded her, his brow furrowing.
"Jen…what's wrong?" he asked, his voice soft as he looked at her. She remained silent, looking away, her gaze low. "You're regretting this, aren't you?"
"It was only for sympathy, nothing more." she whispered, not answering his question and still not looking at him. He realized she was giving him a way out- only he didn't want one. He merely wanted her.
"Not, it wasn't, Jen. We made love because we love each other, not because we both needed sympathy." he said, moving closer to her on the bed. She looked at him, sadness still lined on her face.
"But will you mean that in a week? Six months? A year?" she asked, her voice quiet and doubtful.
"Jen, I've meant it for six years. There's no chance of it changing." he replied, slipping his hand over hers. "I love you."
"But Jethro how? How can you love me?" Jenny asked, shaking her head furiously. Doubt lined her face, lingered in her voice. "Why do you love me?"
Jethro recognized the need, the fear in her eyes. She needed the reassurance that this was real- that this wasn't just an echo of Paris. And he could give that to her.
"I love the fact that your toes are cold all the time, even in the summer. I love the way you sing in the shower when you think I can't hear you. I love that you don't let people stand in the way of what you believe in. I love that you can be passionate about little things. I love your hair. I love the way your eyes change color with your mood. They turn emerald when you're happy, olive when you're sad, forest when you're aroused. I love the way you walk in heels, the way you know what you want and how to get it. I love you, Jen. It's that simple." Jethro answered, squeezing her hand. Jenny looked up at him, the corners of her mouth turning up into a smile.
He'd astounded her. Little things that no one else would know. That no one else would remember. She allowed herself a small smile, and looked up to meet his gaze.
"We'll never be simple, Jethro." Jenny said softly, lacing their fingers together. "But at least we'll be together."
A/N: Aw :) So, all that is left is the epilogue, which will be two parts. There will be instructions in my author's note next chapter and I really encourage you to follow them. It's quite important :) Thanks for all the reviews, and I hope you tell me what you thought of this one too! :)
