LITTLE MISS DISASTER

(A/N: THANK YOU KAITOU ANGEL FOR MAKING ME A FIC! TAYLOR, YOU ARE MY HERO! I'm so happy Taylor made me a fic for my birthday. I feel so loved! It's NaruSaku (an awesome but rare pairing) and totally kick ass. It's called Kitsune; you must read it then review! If you don't DIE and GO TO HELL in that order. Anyways, I forgot to mention last time I updated we'd be gone a couple of days for a church camping trip in the mountains where it somehow is fucking cold. We're just got back. It sucked. One word. Mariah. No, actually, four. Mariah and her mom. I think you can use your imagination. Hint: if I see the Jesus Loves You video one more time I'm going to become Satanist and start wearing a cape. THIS CHAPTER IS DEDICATED TO KAITOU ANGEL (sorry if this chapter sucks though, T-pain)! READ HER FICS AND REVIEW THEM; I LEARN FROM HER!)


"What is he doing here?" Gaara asked, though his voice was anything but confused and his face was as stoic as ever. How Gaara was that question he asked? Completely ignore a question directed at him to ask a question in which the answer I don't even know. In other words, confuse me even more than I am right now. Suddenly, two arms are wrapped around my waist.

"We're getting married." Neji said, pulling me closer as I squirmed and squiggled like a three year old on a slip and slide. If Gaara was surprised he didn't show it. I opened my mouth to say something. I took a deep breath in.

"It's an arrange-what's that burning smell?"

Naruto smirked as he walked in my room.

"That would be the fire in my pants," he said, winking at me.

"Shut up, you moron," Neji growled, pulling me closer. I squirmed.

"You're not wearing pants, Naruto," I pointed out, "why are you not wearing pants!" Better yet, why is he wearing Strawberry Shortcake boxers?

"Frankly, I think they resented my ass."

"That makes two of us," I announced, thoroughly exasperated, wrenching Neji's arms to get out of my room. Experience has taught me that whenever the conversation presents a fire in Naruto's pants or a lack of pants thereof, it's better to just leave the room. Plus, I think my mom is playing that drinking game again.

"You were staring at his ass! You whore! Keep it in your pants, Haruno. We're getting married! There'll be no staring at other men's asses when you become a Hyuuga" Neji angrily said, very bitter about that. Naruto shrugged and left the room. Gaara spoke.

"Prove to me that you're getting married." His eyes bore in to mine but his command was directed at Neji.

Those pale green eyes never left mine as he ordered Neji to do the unthinkable.

"Kiss her."


Sakura Hyuuga. For some reason that didn't sound right. Fag boy looked disgusted by the very idea of putting his lips on hers. I snorted at that. This crap from the same guy who was so possessive of her about thirty seconds ago. Riiiiight. I really can't see them two getting married. I believe this is some kind of prank. Revenge for the baby skit. Distracted by my own thoughts I almost missed it. Hyuuga swooped down to peck her on the lips quickly before pulling away like he fucked with fate, as if he kissed a poisonous snake. I snorted again. Marriage. Uh-huh. Whatever. Not convinced.

"That wasn't a kiss." I cocked my head and shot Sakura a glare.

"I think it was. If it wasn't I wouldn't have poison control on speed dial. Ew. Ew. Cooties." She was ten different shades of red as she wiped her lips over and over with the back of her hand as if it would save her from some kind of virus that's spread through kissing.

"Don't tell me, Haruno, you never really have been kissed before, have you?"

"Gee, I don't know Neji only pressed his filthy lips on to mine a couple seconds ago."

"You liked it as much as I did, admit that at least." Neji grinned like a fox. This guy really needs to sort out his feelings.

"No! You're a terrible kisser and your breath stinks!"

"Want to do it again? Want me to prove you wrong?" Neji whispered, taking a lock of her hair out of her face and placing it behind her ear.

"No! And no means no. Unless it means yes, in which case, I'll wink like this. Not winking!" She barked.

We may have had the same health teacher, I think.

She turned to me.

"Wait. What exactly are you trying to say?" She squinted her eyes and looked at me expectantly.

"All I'm saying is that you've never really have been kissed"

"Explain"

I brushed my hair out of my face, "Don't tell me no one has ever kissed you with such passion that all you can think about is the next time you do it again. Don't tell me, Haruno that you never have been kissed so deeply you feel like you're going to get lost, so gently that you felt like you were going to melt on the onslaught, overridden by the sensations." Our lips were dangerously close now. I could feel her breath on my lips. Her face was flushed. Eyes were wide with surprise. They were about to get wider as I pressed my lips against hers. The kiss, it was gentle and soft at first but as she teased the opening of my mouth with her tongue I got more aggressive. Her tongue skittered along the roof of my mouth as if she was trying to avoid my own tongue trying to wrestle with hers. She half moaned as we broke off. Her eyes were still closed even as I started to walk out. Neji was gone.

"Wait! How did you get here!" She called after me.

I didn't answer. You try explaining you're running away from a guy who wants to play naked twister with you. As I walked out of the trailer park a ten year old kid with a Mohawk was puking the contents of his stomach on the lawn. Underage drinking obviously is not a problem here.

"Nice tattoo." He eyed my tattoo, Mohawk tilting to one side as he wiped the puke from his mouth.

I nodded, "you too. Did it yourself?" I noticed the home-made tattoo on his arm.

"Yeah." More vomiting.

"But why are you so in to satin?" "It says Satan." He looked down to his tattoo to me and back.

I chuckled, "You don't win the spelling bees do you?"

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(¡IMPORTANT READ!)

In life some people you click with and some you don't. That's the honest truth, and I'll take being honest over being "nice" any day! Upon mentally revisiting the episodes on the church camping experience(like I said, you can use your imagination), I came across a theme of others saying I'm not "Nice" and the importance of being "Nice" and the more I thought about it and filtered it through my brain, I came to the conclusion- FUCK NICE! When you play "nice" and you act "nice" you are essentially being fake. (NICE EQUALSFAKE) Everyone hates fake. "Nice" gets you nowhere. I played "nice" with Mariah and look where it got me.

I participated in what essentially was a church camping trip that is created for people to communicate with each other and say your honest opinions about life and God, so I gave mine. I gave my honest opinion in the whole damn camp. I know something's I have said weren't "nice" to say, I know it wasn't "nice" to hear either. But I was honest. And HONESTY kicks the shit out of NICE! Those church bitches are lucky I am being honest. In all other circumstances, I only reserve that type of honesty for only my friends. The people who value my honesty and friendship. All things less than, or socially inept, or just plain bad, I ignore. The reason I ignore is because there are so many great things that my focus could improve on, rather than putting any thought into something that is not worth commenting on in the first place. The truth hurts and honesty is such a lonely word! In my everyday life people who I hear constantly pointing out all the insignificant things really bring me down. So just screw it already! Nice sucks. Bottom line: Fuck nice. Nice is fake. Fake sucks ass. Don't take anyone's shit and be honest about your feelings.

So this is my advice to all you. I'm not asking you to take it. I'm not asking you to even agree with it. I'm not trying to be all preachy or anything either. I'm just a regular 13 year old girl who's pretty sure everyone feels this way at one point or another and just wants to write something to make you feel better because currently I'm feeling bad because Mariah's mom ragging on me because I'm not "nice". Some people don't like how I'm not fake. But this is who I am. This is me. This is Lauren.