Much to my surprise, this is the last chapter (epilogue to come). Hope you enjoy this.


Her eyes were red and puffy by the time she drew back from him. He wiped her tears away with his thumbs gently. "Do you want me to stay here tonight? Or do you want me to leave?" She paused, not knowing what to say. "I don't mind either way," he added.

"Then stay," she said quietly. "Just to be here. If you really don't mind."

"Okay," he said. "Do you want me to sleep on the sofa?"

"The whole point of you staying here is to be with me," she said, a ghost of a smile on her face.

"Right," he said. They went upstairs in silence, and they got ready for bed in silence too. Harry kept his shirt and boxers on, though he normally slept naked and climbed into bed. Ruth got undressed in front of him before pulling on her PJ's, seemingly unembarrassed.

"Sorry," she said as she curled up next to him, his arm going around her.

"No," he said. "You don't have anything to be sorry for."

"I know," she said. "Just, sometimes it feels like I do." She sighed heavily. "Don't treat Lucy any differently," she said suddenly.

"Of course I won't," he said. "None of this is her fault, any more than it is yours."

"Good," she said. She closed her eyes and went to sleep quickly. Harry didn't. He held her gently, his mind running over all the things he'd learned about her tonight. He hated it. By the time morning came around he'd only slept about an hour.

"Mm," Ruth said, as she began to wake up. She pushed her body towards him and mmed again when he pulled her close. With her eyes closed she found his lips and kissed him deeply. He tried to hold back and be gentle but after a few moments he could tell that wasn't what she wanted. So he kissed her deeply, his hands wandering over her body, and under her PJ shirt. Her eyes opened slowly as his hand covered her breast and squeezed gently. "Morning," she said. "Oh!" she gasped as he squeezed her nipple.

"Sleep well?" he asked, making an effort to behave normally.

"Yes," she said. She turned away from him to look at the clock and smiled. They had maybe an hour before Lucy would wake up. She grinned, and he knew that smile well. All she had to do was look at him like that and usually he became aroused within seconds.

"Are you all right?" he asked quietly.

"Yes," she said.

"I mean… after…"

"I know what you mean," she said. "And yes, I am fine. I didn't… like talking about it, but I know you needed to know. Can we not mention it? Not now. Not when we're in bed together. I don't want it to be a ghost between us in bed. It's not fair to either of us."

"Okay," he agreed. He kissed her again, softer this time. She smiled, almost feeling herself melting into his arms. They didn't get out of bed for a long, long time.


Harry locked his office door with trepidation. He wanted to look up Peter Hague's information and he wasn't entirely sure Ruth would be happy about it. But he hadn't asked her, because he was afraid that she would make him promise not to. And he couldn't do that. At least not until he'd found out about him. It took three minutes for Harry to find him on the MI5 system. Peter Hague, working as an insurance salesman in Manchester. Single, living in a rather undesirable address, Harry was pleased to see. No criminal record beyond two speeding tickets. That made him angry. He deserved a criminal record, the stupid bastard. Harry stared at the page, willing Peter to come within hitting range. But then he realised that watching a computer screen wouldn't make that happen.

Harry closed the information and then leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes. He didn't know what to do. All of his instincts were telling him to catch a train and go to Manchester, find this excuse for a human being and beat him to a pulp. But he knew Ruth wouldn't like it. Ruth wouldn't like the violence, and she wouldn't like the past being dragged back up either. He didn't know what to do. He wasn't an idiot, and he knew that if he attacked Peter it wouldn't be to help Ruth. It would only be for his own satisfaction. He simply didn't know what to do.

Suddenly the door handle turned and then rattled. Without a knock he knew it would be Ruth. "Harry?" she questioned, surprised at the locked door.

"Hang on a minute," he said, getting up and letting her in.

"Why was the door locked?" she asked as she sat opposite him.

"I wanted privacy," he said. "What do you need?"

"Why?" she asked, ignoring work for the time being.

"I was planning a murder, and wondering how to avoid prison with a cast iron alibi," he said.

"No," she said (rather predictably in his view). "You are not going to kill Peter."

He sighed heavily. "I know I'm not," he said. "It doesn't mean I don't want to rip the bastard limb from limb."

"Do you…" she paused, her lip twitching. "Did you find out where he is?"

"Yes," he said. "But I'm not going to tell you. If you really wanted to know, you'd have looked him up yourself." She looked like she wanted to argue but then she just closed her eyes.

"You're right. Please don't go after him. He's not worth any more of my time, or yours."

"I came to the decision not to do anything because I would only be doing it to make myself feel better. And it wouldn't help you." He covered his face with his hands and sighed. "I don't know what to do Ruth," he said. "I just don't know." She reached for him and laced her fingers through his palm.

"You don't have to do anything Harry," she said calmly. She looked deeply in his eyes. "I didn't confide in you to avenge me. I don't need for him to be hurt. It won't make me feel better and it won't change what happened."

"Don't you want him dead?"

"I did," she said. "I wanted him dead a thousand times. Every single day that I was pregnant, and quite a few after. It wouldn't achieve anything Harry. So please. Just leave him alone."

He was silent for so long that Ruth thought he wasn't going to bother to answer. "Okay."

"Really?"

"Yes," he said. "For you. Not for him. And not because I'm a good man either, sometimes I doubt I am."

"Harry, you scare me sometimes," she said. "No, not like that," she added at the look on his face. "Not in that way." She squeezed his hand that she was still holding. "Because…" she took a deep breath and looked away from him.. "The way I feel scares me. I don't like being reliant on someone. I don't like needing anyone, I like to depend on myself. So… it scares me when I need someone in my life. And I do need you Harry." He smiled at her slightly. "I… love you." She looked like with that quiet declaration the world was ending. He realised how hard this was for her to say, and that she'd most likely never told a man that in her life. He tilted her chin up and kissed her gently, over the desk. When they parted she was smiling nervously.

"I love you too," he said. Her smile widened. She kissed him again.

"Your desk is getting in the way," she said quietly.

"Mm," he agreed. "Come here." She quickly moved around and perched on his lap, her arms around his neck and kissed him deeply. He laced his fingers in her hair, pulling her as close as possible.

"I really need to get back to work," she breathed.

"Oh, the boss won't mind an extra five minutes," he teased. Then he kissed her again, a smile on both of their lips.