It's been pointed out that Raph has sort of taken over a little bit more. I didn't anticipate it. That's just how stories go when they work out. They go where you don't expect them to go. I know I tend to favor Raph a little bit overall though and I'll try to pay attention to that tendency.

What about pills?

Sounds too slow, Raph thought. And Don would pump his stomach if he found him before they had worked.

What about hanging?

Sounds too hard. There weren't any places to do it in the lair and he wasn't really fond of the idea of slow suffocation.

What about Seppuku?

Maybe. No. He wasn't honorable enough for that.

You should cut your wrists. It's guaranteed to work if you cut deep enough.

Good idea.

"Raph, who are you talking to?" Casey asked through his bedroom door.

Had he been talking out loud?

"Nobody. I'm going to… take a nap."

The doorknob vibrated as Casey tried to force the door. Why was he sitting in here thinking about suicide methods?

"Come out!" Casey yelled with unnecessary volume. "April thinks you're dead!"

"This is Raph's ghost!" Raph yelled, even louder. "Fuck off!"

He could hear Casey move away from the door and a minute later there was a soft knock on the door. "Raph, honey," said April's sweetest tone of voice. "You okay in there? You know that Leo doesn't want you to be alone."

"How's Mike?"

"Same," she said. "Well, no. He's…" She stopped, probably because Mikey was in the same room with them. "He's awfully weak. Maybe you should come out and sit with him again."

It wouldn't make any difference. He can't even tell if you're there or not anyway.

"What's the point?" he asked the door.

"Don and Splinter are out here. You're locked up in here and Leo's gone. You should all be out here with him."

I know where your honorable leader is.

"Where?" Raph asked.

April sounded confused. "In the living room, dumbass."

Why did his arm hurt so much? It had stung for quite a while now.

"Look," April said. "I promise we won't talk to you or look at you or acknowledge your presence, okay. It just feels… you know… safer if we're all together. And we miss you."

That woman definitely knew how to work him, he thought as he opened the door.

April smiled as he opened the door slightly and looked through the crack. He looked past her to make sure there wasn't going to be a family ambush as soon as he opened the door. Mikey was on the couch, Don was splayed out on his stomach on the floor surrounded by a halo of books. He couldn't see Sensei, but could hear him moving in the kitchen. Casey was hooking up a video game. He stepped out into the living room.

"Maybe you two can play…" April said. Her smile faded and her eyes fell to his midsection. "What did you do! DON!"

His left hand felt warm and wet for a second before he looked down and understood why. He felt April snatch the sai out of his right hand, which was dripping with his own blood. The pain of the gashes in his left arm hit him. Don's fingers prodded painfully at the wounds.

"How did this happen?" Splinter demanded, holding out his bloody sai in front of his face.

"I don't remember."

Everyone was standing around him, grabbing at him and yelling. He shoved Don away and moved towards the front door of the lair, leaving a blood trail behind him.

"Don't you dare leave," said Master Splinter.

He stopped in his tracks at his father's iron clad tone.

Lie down. It won't hurt. You knew this was coming.


Miona's foster family had a nice house. A white house in the suburbs with a large lawn and wood chipped flower beds. It would be nice to have a house with white vinyl siding and plush carpet and hard wood floors.

Should he go in and see Miona? What was the point?

He climbed up onto the roof of the front porch before he answered the question. He looked in one of the dormer windows. There were her pretend parents, asleep in bed. Middle aged people with jobs and no ninja clan vengeance keeping them hidden underground. They had a nice bed. Lots of throw pillows.

Miona was asleep in the next dormer window. Her room was yellow, a gender neutral color for the temporary babies in transit through their lives. Leo tried the window and found that it was open. Wouldn't it be nice to be that trusting? Always expecting to be alive the next day. Expecting that nobody hated you enough to kill you.

He stood in front of Miona's crib, watching her sleep. She was curled up on her side, with a stuffed animal in her arms. Mikey was sixteen and he still slept like that. She stirred and he looked towards the open window.

"Mommy," she said, reaching up to him.

This child had cost him two of his brothers. Why was her life worth more than theirs?

He leaned down and she put her arms around his neck as he picked her up. He'd forgotten how comforting it felt to have a small, warm creature pressed again his chest.

There was a wooden rocking chair in the corner and he sat down, holding her over his shoulder. He rocked slightly, making sure not to cause any creaking or sounds that would attract her fake parents.

"I'm going to tell you a story," he said, yawning widely. "It's about two brothers. They were twins called the Dioscuri. Polydeuces was the son of a god and so he was immortal, but his half brother and twin Castor was mortal. They were warriors and together they were unstoppable. Polydeuces was a violent man with a strong temper and Castor was gentle and kind."

Miona was asleep again.

"But one day, Castor fell in battle. And Polydeuces' grief was so severe that he knew he couldn't survive without his brother, even if he was immortal. So he persuaded the gods to allow them to share his immortality. Every other day they spent with the gods and every other day they spent with the dead. I can't forgive Polydeuces for his weakness."

The door opened but Leo didn't move. He could feel that it wasn't the parents. There were no footsteps. A shape of a man stood in the door way. The hall light illuminated the black outline of what should have been there, but wasn't.

"Have you come to renounce our deal?" it asked. He could barely hear its voice, but knew exactly what it said.

He didn't answer, but looked over at Miona's little face. It would be so easy to just hand her over. Mikey would be well again and Raph wouldn't be in any danger from himself. She was small and helpless.

"How do I know that you will even honor our deal?" Leo asked.

"I always honor my agreements."

So this thing had some sense of honor. That was interesting, but completely unhelpful. "If I did hand her over to you," Leo said. "What would happen?"

"I would eat her," it said simply.

His grip on her tightened. "Would you leave us alone?"

"Yes. But the damage has already been done to your family. Individually you are all so weak. Especially that rabid animal that you call a brother. What do you think he has been busying himself with in your absence?"

His stomach tightened. This was wrong. He was wasting his time. He wasn't seeing something obvious. Why was it taking the time to taunt him like this?

Leo woke up and looked around himself. Miona was asleep and drooling on his plastron and the first grey light of morning was on the horizon.

Individually you are all so weak. They were warriors and together they were unstoppable. What do you think he has been busying himself with in your absence?

He laid Miona carefully in her crib, his heart pounding with the excitement of an answer found.


"How do you cut on yourself without noticing?" Don asked as he pulled the thread though Raph's arm.

"Well, it helps if you hear voices," Raph said.

April was sitting nearby, balancing a book on her head. "My skull is really flat. We should get out the calipers again and measure my cranial capacity," she said.

Don felt like he was in a nightmare where they were all slowly losing their minds. And then suddenly, Leo was standing dramatically in the doorway of the lab, looking mildly crazed. He wondered dully if he'd been attacked by the Loch Ness Monster or Sasquatch.

"I have an idea," Leo said. "Where's Sensei?" He looked around as if he was hiding in a cupboard.

"He's playing Egyptian Ratscrew with Casey. Don't ask," April said, the book on her head sliding off onto the floor as she turned to look at Leo.

"We're going… Raph! What happened to your arm?"

"Where were you all night?" Raph asked in return.

Don said, "Raph sliced himself with his sai. On purpose, we think. We're not sure."

Leo didn't look very concerned. Don knew that he'd seen Raph getting stitches at least twenty times. "Is Mikey still…?"

"Yeah, he's still alive," April said. "That feels so wrong to say."

"Good, good," Leo said, mumbling absently to himself. "This will take all five of us."

Don sighed with relief. Finally, a plan.


An hour later, Don sat staring at Leo with his mouth hanging open thinking, We all must be losing our minds. That's the plan?

"It follows a code of honor," Leo repeated again. "And if it's bound by terms and conditions of contracts, then we can bend those terms."

"Basically, you want to trick the devil," Casey said, scratching his head.

Don stood up, his panic increasing at the second by the task set before him. "I don't think I can do it. It's barely communicated with me." He covered his mouth at the slip.

"Barely?" Raph asked. Then shouted, "BARELY! YOU'VE BEEN TREATING ME LIKE A LUNATIC AND YOU'VE SEEN IT TOO?" Mikey stirred in his blankets at the sound and Raph leaned over and patted his leg. "Sorry, kid."

"Don't call him a kid," Leo said. "He's sixteen."

Raph didn't seem to hear him.

Don was too worried about himself to notice the odd exchange and said, "I've only seen it once in a dream and then I just ignored it. I don't think I can do this."

"You five have all seen it," Splinter said, his fingers on his chin, thinking.

Don knew that their father would approve of the plan. He decided to try a different tactic. "Leo, this all rests on your performance, you know. Do you think you can manage it?"

"I will if I have to," Leo said, drawing himself up to his full height and looking unusually impressive.

Damn, Don thought. He's all confident in his capability. This would never work and he knew he would be the one to fail them all.