Look at me,

I will never pass for a perfect bride, or a perfect daughter

Can it be,

I'm not meant to play this part?

Now I see,

That if I were truly to be myself, I would break my family's heart

Who is that girl, I see staring straight back at me

Why is my reflection someone I don't know?

Somehow I cannot hide who I am, though I've tried

When will my reflection show who I am inside?

When will my reflection show who I am inside?

Lea Salonga- Reflection


Trigger warnings for child abuse and homophobic language


Cat's POV:

"What the hell happened?" Robbie demanded after Gabriella had left.

"Your crazy psycho ex tried to kill Beck." Jade snarled. "And she attacked Cat! Because of you!"

"I told her to stay away!" Robbie yelled back. "I told her I didn't want to date or run away with her! She wouldn't take no for an answer!"

"Well you could have told one of us!" Jade screamed. "We would have made sure she didn't return!"

"HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT SHE WOULD COME BACK?!" Robbie shrieked. I've never seen them so angry.

"Maybe you should have-"

"STOP IT!"

Before I knew what I was doing, I was on my knees on the ground, holding my hands over my ears and screaming at them to stop.

"Cat, are you okay?" Tori questioned, concern swimming in her voice.

I didn't answer.

"Cat?" Beck said. "Can you hear us?"

They attempted to get my attention, but their voices were just replaced by different ones.

The ones of my parents.

"Why didn't you tell me about her?!"

"I thought you wouldn't stick around if you knew!"

"I'm sick and tired of the lies! You made me give up my family and everything I've strived for because of her!"

"I WANTED HER TO HAVE A HAPPY LIFE! IF YOU HAD JUST TALKED TO ME ABOUT THIS WHEN WE MET, THIS WOULDN'T BE IN THIS SITUATION!"

"Fuck you, William! If you had told me you carried a monster bloodline, then I wouldn't have married you!"

"And if you had told me of your previous "profession" then I wouldn't have even DATED you! So don't give me that bullshit, Lydia!"

"Well I didn't ever think one of our children would turn out to be like- like her!"

"Don't talk about my mother like that!"

"CAT!"

"CAT PLEASE ANSWER US!"

"CAT CAN YOU HEAR US?!"

I didn't answer, I just fell on my back and the world went dark.

I drifted in out of a deep sleep. I had horrible flashbacks to my childhood. It was awful. My childhood was awful. I hated my parents, I hated my brother, and I hated what I was at first. And I knew they hated me because of it as well.


Third Grade:

"Mommy?" I said to my mother. "Why did you send my brother away?"

Lydia, my mother, sighed and looked at me with pity. "Caterina, your brother... he's sick."

"Does he have a cold?" I asked innocently.

"No sweetie. He's um... his brain is sick. Not his body." Mom replied.

"What do you mean?"

"He had issues. But it's not his fault, really." Mom rubs my shoulder. "He'll get better, I promise."


Sixth Grade:

I opened the door to my house and skipped inside. I had the best day at school and I couldn't wait to talk to my parents about it when they got home.

I continued walking in the house and suddenly I was cut off by my brother. Before I could react, he raised a glass vase over my head and smashed it down on top of my head. I fell to the ground as the broken pieces of the vase fell all around me. I reached up and touched my head and felt something wet.

"O-Oh Cat!" My brother, Aiden, squeaked. "I'm so sorry! I thought you were a burgalar."

I didn't respond. I just got up and dashed off to the bathroom. I needed to assess the damage.

I looked at my reflection in the mirror. My hair was stained with my blood.

The blood. The redness of it... it was so beautiful. It was the most beautiful color I've ever seen.

I needed it to be red all the time.


Eight Grade:

"Well I didn't ever think one of our children would turn out to be like- like her!"

"Don't talk about my mother like that!"

My parents screamed at each other as I sat curled on my bed, crying softly to myself. Ever since I came to my siren inheritance, they've been cold and distant and treated me like shit. They gave more attention to my brother and they always defend him. But never me.

My brother can get away with anything. He pisses on our lawn, fills our pool with garbage, kills small animals and grinds them into his Christmas beef, he stole Christmas trees, fucked five or six girls at the "troubled girls" school, he sexually assaulted one of them, he raped a ballerina who went to school with him, he even fucked a horse in the middle of a parade. And they still defend him to the ends of the earth!

But if I get a bad grade on my report card, I get screamed at. If I get detention, they hit me. The one time I got suspended, my mother hit me over the head with an empty bottle. She was drunk and angry.

I heard the sound of glass shattering, a door slammed, and my mother yelled, "CAT GET THE FUCK DOWN HERE!"

I winced and left my room, rushing downstairs. If I took too long, my mother would be even angrier.

My mother was standing in the kitchen, holding a half-empty bottle of beer in her shaking hand. She glared at me.

"This is your fault." She snarled at me. "If you didn't turn out this way, everything would be fine."

"Me?" I asked. "What does me being a monster have to do with this family falling apart? If anything, it should be my brother's fault."

"Leave Aiden out of this!" Mom- no, she doesn't deserve that name- Lydia hissed. "He didn't cause any of this unrest."

"Oh really?" I challenged. "How about that fact that he's an insane, animal-killing, horse-fucking rapist? Huh? What about that?"

I felt a sting in my cheek and my head whipped to the side. Lydia hit me. I wasn't surprised.

"Don't talk about him like that." She growled. "He's more my son then you are my daughter."

"Is that so?" I snapped. "Well then maybe I should just leave. Lydia." I spat out her name as if it was venom in my mouth.

Lydia slammed her bottle of beer on the counter violently. She lunged forward and wrapped her hands around my throat. She began to squease.

"I am your mother, and you will treat me with respect!" She screeched, tightening her grip around my throat.

I struggled against her grip. "Fuck... you." I managed to say.

"How dare you!" She tossed me to the ground. I let out a loud gasp of air but I fell on my back as she delivered a hard blow to my stomach, knocking the wind out of me.

"You're an ungrateful, spoiled, disgusting-" I didn't let her finish. I sprung up and grabbed her shoulders, hurling her backwards into the counter. She hit her head on the handle of one of the drawers, stunning her. I stood there, seething at her unmoving form before spitting on her.

"Never touch me again." I growled darkly before she passed out completely.


Tenth Grade:

"Shut the fuck up!" I sighed as I heard my parents yelling at each other in the living room. I hate coming home to them yelling.

"Make me bitch!" I tried to ignore them as I walked to the stairwell. I heard William (my dad) stomp off and the front door slammed.

"Cat?" I heard my mother call.

"What?" I asked unemotionally.

"Come here."

I complied. I found her on the couch, her eyes red and her cheeks puffy. She glared me and I gave her an equally as hateful stare. She winced. I could intimidate her easily now that I'm a siren.

"What do you want?" I questioned.

"I hate your kind." She said. "This is your grandmother's fault. And your father's. I gave up hunting to be with your father, and now that I know of your father's tainted bloodline, it's destroyed this family."

"No, you and Aiden are." I snapped. She opened her mouth, probably going to defend my psychotic brother. I shut her down though. "Don't even think about it."

"This whole marriage was a mistake." She sobbed. "You were a mistake. I should have aborted you when I had the chance."

I felt my eyes tear up a little. This was my mother and even though I hated her, her words still hurt.

"I hate you!" I shouted. "I hate William, and I hate Aiden! You all make my life hell over something I have no control over!"

"Boo hoo. Gonna cry to your grandmother about it?" Lydia mocked.

"Maybe I will." I told her. "Nona understands and loves me more than you three ever have!" I turned and stormed up the stairs.

Why is this happening to me?


Eleventh Grade:

"What do you mean you won't go on a date with him?" Lydia demanded.

"I don't wanna go on a date with some spoiled rich kid." I explained. "He's an asshole and I won't date and/or marry him because he's rich and you want his daddy's fortune."

"But you've dated scummier men."

"Yeah without knowing they were scumbags." I shot back. "Besides, I'm not interested in boys anymore."

Lydia's eyes narrowed. "What does that mean, Caterina?" She snarled.

"I've discovered that I don't like boys." I informed her.

"Like how?"

"I don't like them mom." I was starting to become irritating.

"Nonsense, you don't know what you're talking about. Maybe you just-"

"I'M A FUCKING LESBIAN, OKAY?!" I shrieked.

"Lesbian?" Lydia echoed. "So not only is my daughter a monster, she's a disgusting dyke as well?"

"Shut up." I told her. "I'm sick of you treating me like shit."

"Maybe you shouldn't have been a monster and a filthy homo." Lydia spat. "Maybe your father, brother, and I will go to Idaho for Aiden's treatment. What will you do then? Hmmm? Starve?" A sinister smirk creeped up onto my face.

I glared at her with pure hatred, and spat in her face. "Go ahead. See how much I fucking care."

I truly didn't care. I hated them with all my heart.

And my mother knew.

Why am I cursed with such a revolting family?


"Clear!"

I was suddenly shocked out of my dream state and into reality. I found myself in what looked like a hospital bed.

"She's awake!" The doctor standing beside the bed yelled.

"Where am I?" I asked.

"The hospital, hon." The doctor responded. "Don't worry, you'll be fine. You passed out at school. A pretty Latina, a pale girl, a handsome thick-haired boy, and a strange boy wearing glasses brought you here. There's also a blonde girl waiting for you."

"Sam?" I asked.

"Yes, that was her name." The doctor nodded. "Would you like me to send her in?"

"Yes please."

The doctor nodded and swiftly left the room. I sat up, my head swimming a bit. When my head stopped whirling, I felt something hit my chest. I looked down.

Hanging around my neck was a golden necklace. It was golden and had a pendant that was half of a heart.

My soul necklace.