WARNING-JACK DOES NOT TAKE THE NEWS WELL. VIOLENCE AND DEATH(SUICIDE-BUT NOT KURT OR BLAINE!)
Gone and Back Again Chapter 8
The monitors in the conference room went crazy.
"Oh," Ben said, "huge energy spike down in the lower level."
"The mind-probe," Gwen closed her eyes. John growled,
"Anytime now, Ben."
"I'm trying, I'm trying-"they heard a loud clicking sound followed by a series of beeps that echoed throughout the hub. Ben looked confused, "I didn't-"
"Who cares?"
Gwen was the first one out gun already in her hand. John and Arwen followed. Ben stared at the screen for another second before following.
()()()()()()()
Kurt didn't even have time to scream. As soon as the machine turned on, he felt his entire body flood with knives, with fire, with ice, with lava. Kurt's eyes rolled to the back of his head, his mouth opened in a silent scream. Tendrils of electricity dug into his brain, pulling it apart, picking at it, clawing at it.
His Mam, his Tad, his Mam leaving, Rhiannon marrying, Mica, David, Lisa, Torchwood One, Cybermen, Daleks, Jack, Myfanwy, Tosh, Owen, Gwen, Rhys-
Chocking Kurt thrashed against the bonds.
My boss says I don't eat enough vegetables-you're a monster-need me to do any attacking sir-they're going to eat us-Death by Torchwood-Pain so constant like my stomachs is full of rats-you take the roof you're good with roofs-Are you going back to him-Meeting Lisa, falling in love I've never felt so alive-coming here gave me meaning again-
Eyes rolling to the bad of his head, Kurt's world went black.
()()()()()()()
"Hurry!"
Gwen nearly fell turning a corner but she kept on going. The team ran passed the cells, Blaine's screams chasing them.
"What's going on? Kurt! Where's Kurt?"
Panting Gwen and the others pushed themselves harder. When they came to the door, John was the one to wrench it open.
"Fuck!"
The team froze. Kurt was strapped to the chair his body still but blood was trickling from his nose. John and Arwen wasted no time in tackling Jack to the ground. Ben was the one to pull the plug from the mind-probe.
"You bastard!" John punched Jack in the face, "You fucking bastard!"
Gwen helped Ben free Kurt.
"We need to get him to the medical lab," Ben hands were shaking, "JOHN! Leave Jack to Arwen! We need to get Kurt to the medical bay!"
As soon as John stood up Gwen helped Arwen pin Jack down.
"Let me go!" Jack was bucking under their weight. Arwen pulled the handcuffs out and cuffed him.
"God Jack," Gwen tightened her grip, "what were you thinking? You could have killed him! He's just a boy!"
"NO!" Jack watched as Ben and John ran off with Kurt, "he knows too much, he could be a threat-"
Gwen slapped him, "He's not a threat-"she frowned, "he's not a threat-"
"Kurt knows about you! He knows about Rhys, about Tosh, about Owen about Suzie-" Jack growled, "he knows about Ianto!"
Arwen kneed Jack in the stomach, "You tortured that kid because he knew some things about your old team?"
Before Jack could speak again Arwen slammed his head to the ground, knocking him out. Gwen closed her eyes and sat back.
"Do you think Kurt is ok?"
Arwen sighed, "I hope so."
()()()()()()()()()()
Blaine was freaking out. He had seen the rest of the team racing through the cells, guns in their hands and fury painted on their faces. Less than a minute later John came running back out, Kurt in his arms. Ben was not far behind.
"Kurt!"
Ben looked briefly back at him but didn't stop. Blaine pounded on the door,
"What's wrong? Where are you taking him? What's going on?"
Not even two minutes later Gwen came out with Arwen carrying Jack over her shoulder.
"Please!" Blaine cried, "What's wrong with Kurt? I want to see Kurt!" he gasped, "take me to Kurt, please, please!"
Arwen left without even looking at him. Gwen stopped,
"I don't think that's a good idea."
"I-I-I need to see him," Blaine sobbed, "I'll do anything I just need to see my boyfriend, please!"
Gwen bit her lip and looked up and down the hallway.
"Come on," she pressed something at the side of the cell. As soon as the door opened Gwen grabbed Blaine's hand.
"Where is Kurt?"
"The medical bay," Blaine went cold.
"Medical-why, what's wrong?"
Gwen didn't answer him. When they reached the top of the stairs Blaine heard John cursing. Ben and Arwen were standing on the upper level, looking down.
"What's the damage?" Ben asked.
"Fuck don't even talk to me right now," John yelled, "just let me-God just let me work in fucking peace."
That made Blaine really, really nervous. Gwen pulled him up next to the rest of the team.
"Oh my-"Blaine looked down and saw Kurt lying on a stretcher, convulsing. His skin was nearly translucent and tinged grey. Blood stained his boyfriend's upper lip and nose. Blaine fell to his knees,
"What did you do to him?"
"I-"Gwen's hand landed on his shoulder, "we didn't know he go this far."
Crying Blaine gripped the metal bars and watched John work on Kurt. He had no idea what was going on but Blaine hoped that whatever John was doing, it would help. After a tense five minutes John switched IV bags and looked to the side.
"Shit," John ran a hand down his face, "finally," Blaine saw him look at a computer screen, "least that's dealt with."
Blaine sniffed, "What's dealt with?"
"Seizures he was having."
"Sei-he was-"Blaine chocked, "is he-is he gonna-"
John grimaced,
"He's out of danger," he looked up at Blaine, "I'm not going to lie to you; I don't know what the mind-probe did to his mind. His brain, from what the scan tells me, is...well, with what I gave him it should be fine in a couple of days. But his mind…"
"Is there a way you can find out or?" Arwen asked.
"Not until he fully wakes up," John adjusted the IV hooked to Kurt's arm, "he won't be conscious for a while though."
"I'll go set up a room for him."
That got Blaine's attention, "You're not going to put us back in the cells?" he asked. Ben shook his head.
"No-we'll be putting you and Kurt in a room," he frowned, "that doesn't mean you can go out and walk around though-for your own safety."
Blaine clenched his jaw and nodded.
"I need help."
In an instant Blaine was running down the stairs and to Kurt's side. Hesitantly he touched his boyfriend's hand.
"God," Blaine took one of Kurt's hands between his own and began to rub it, "he's so cold."
"The IV and blankets should fix that," John took the IV stand, "Ben, grab the rest of the stuff, will ya?" John nodded at Kurt, "think you can carry your boyfriend up the stairs?"
"Yea."
"Well pick him up then."
Blaine carefully lifted Kurt into his arms. He could have sworn that his boyfriend felt much lighter. Going back up the stairs was a little challenging but Blaine managed. Arwen was the one to lead them to a room that was next to interrogation room. Blaine couldn't help but flinch. The room Arwen led them to had two twin sized beds. There was a small bookcase in between them with a pitcher of water and two glasses on top.
"Set him down on the left bed."
Gently Blaine placed Kurt on the bed. John arranged the IV stand in front of the bed. Ben put the small beeping machine next to it.
"Alright," John turned to Blaine, "we're going to leave you here," he pointed to the monitor, "if anything goes wrong this should let us know."
Blaine nodded. Both John and Ben looked extremely uncomfortable.
"Look," John said, "for what it's worth, we're sorry-I know that means shit but we are. We had no idea Jack would go fucking psycho on your boyfriend here."
"Yea," Ben sighed, "I mean, we tried to keep Jack in check but we had no idea he was going to instigate a lock down."
Blaine wanted to scream at them. He wanted to hit them, tear them apart. He wanted to grab Kurt and run to freedom, run to a police station so that they could arrest these people. He wanted to find Captain Jack Harkness and shoot him. That thought scared him-it scared him because it DIDN'T scare him. Blaine wanted to hurt Jack, wanted to bruise him, make him bleed. It made Blaine sick.
"Please just," Blaine crawled into bed with Kurt. The bed was so narrow that he could fall at any moment but he didn't care, "just go away."
He didn't see when Ben and John left. Blaine just heard the door closing behind them. When he was sure they wouldn't be back he hauled Kurt close to him and kissed his cool lips.
"I'm sorry," Blaine cried, "I'm sorry I couldn't help you. I'm sorry for inviting you," Blaine laid his head on Kurt's chest, "I'm sorry, Kurt…I am so, so sorry."
Kurt twitched underneath his head. Blaine took a deep breath and closed his eyes.
()()()()()()()
"I don't know about you guys," John said, "but I plan on getting drunk until I pass out."
Arwen slurped a noodle, "Good for you," she sighed, "I feel awful."
"Yea," Ben played with his rice, "I mean…I had no idea that Jack would do that."
John scoffed, "Always knew he was a bastard."
Gwen ignored the team and watched Kurt and Blaine through the monitor. She felt horrible about what happened to Kurt. Gwen should have never left Jack's side. The current Torchwood team might not know what their leader was capable of but Gwen knew that Jack was capable of anything.
"Where are you going?"
Gwen shook her head and looked up. Ben was at the door.
"I'm going to disassemble the mind-probe," he paused, "and look at what it captured, if anything."
Arwen blinked, "Really? You're going to look?"
Ben rolled his eyes, "As horrible as I feel about this happening I can't deny that I'm curious as to what's on it."
"Who knows," John threw his pen into the air, "maybe there's something on there that'll convince Jack to let the kids go."
"I'll go with you," Gwen stood up. Ben shrugged.
"Suit yourself."
"Hey, hey," Arwen said, "who's going to keep an eye on Jack?"
"He's still knocked out," Gwen rubbed her arm, "he shouldn't be conscious for another hour or more."
"Good," John snarled, "still say we should have put a bullet through that son of a bitch's head."
"What good would that do?"
John winked at Arwen, "Stress relief."
()()()()()()()()
Blaine had managed to get an hour of sleep. He woke up when he fell off the bed. Groaning Blaine had laid there for a second before getting up. Standing up, he gazed down at Kurt and cautiously put a hand on his boyfriend's face, caressing his cheek. Kurt whimpered but didn't wake up.
"Hey Kurt," Blaine sat down on the bed, "I hope you wake up soon." Blaine took Kurt's hand and kissed it, "I was thinking…remember I said that-that after this we can go on a date?" Blaine rubbed Kurt's stomach, "I was thinking, we could go somewhere to eat first; somewhere Italian I think," Blaine smiled, "after that we could go to a play or a movie-maybe an art gallery."
Chuckling Blaine bent down and kissed Kurt's lips. He spent a good five minutes running his hand through Kurt's hair, hoping that his boyfriend would wake up. Thirty minutes after waking up Arwen had opened the door and dropped off a greasy brown bag.
"We thought you might be hungry."
"…Thanks."
Arwen nodded at Kurt,
"Everything seems to be fine."
Blaine wanted to slap her.
"Yea…he-he hasn't woken up though."
"I don't think he'll wake up for a while. Ben said that it might take a couple of days."
"Oh."
"Yea," Arwen clicked her tongue, "I'll just," she took a step back, "leave you guys alone."
After she left Blaine rummaged through the bag. There was some kind of teriyaki in a small Styrofoam box. Wrinkling his nose Blaine put the bag down. He wasn't really hungry. He looked at the machine at the foot of the bed but couldn't make out what was what. Frustrated Blaine sat back down at the bed, head against the wall and stared at the ceiling.
"Do you remember when we first met?" Blaine smiled, "It was at your father's garage. I've-I've never seen someone so…elegant," he looked down at Kurt, "which was odd, seeing as you were wearing dirty overalls. Still you had this air about you-this poise that I've never seen in anybody else."
Laughing Blaine closed his eyes, "I wanted to talk to you but I didn't know how. I was a little scared to be honest." Sighing Blaine once again laid down next to Kurt, "I hope my parents are ok," his eyes widen, "Oh God Kurt your father! He must be worried sick!" Blaine cringed, "oh…oh Kurt I hope we get out of here soon," Blaine felt his throat closing up, "I want to go home. I want to see my parents again. I want to see my friends again," he let out a shaky breath, "I want to take you out on our first date-and then a second, and a third and," Blaine shuddered, "I just want to go home."
()()()()()()()()()
Slamming the door to the bathroom open Gwen ran to the toilet and threw up.
Ben had fiddled with the black box attached to the end of the mind-probe. Gwen had seen it once with Beth. Every piece of information that Beth had acquired was transferred to the black box.
Even after throwing up all the food she had eaten, Gwen couldn't stop. The bile burned her throat.
Gwen had watched as Ben hooked up the black box to a computer, fingers flying over the keyboard. Four minutes later he had let out a short laugh,
"Memories!" he cried, "that's what the mind-probe got from Kurt-memories."
Ten minutes passed before Ben spoke again,
"This…I've never-wow…"
"Oh God," Gwen wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, "No…no, no, no…"
Ben had blinked at her. He looked back down at the laptop before he started typing again,
"You're-you're going to have to look at this."
Gwen put her head to the floor and gave a wordless shout.
"What did you find?"
Ben bit his lip, "Do you remember, when I first started out and you were still working for Torchwood-" Ben frowned, "that case where-where a small, oval machine was spit out by the rift and that woman, Elise Woodrow picked it up?"
"Yea, yea," Gwen said confused, "some aliens memories were transferred to her."
"Right," Ben nodded, "Except she was aware of them, wasn't she?"
"I suppose so yea. I remember she thought she was going crazy."
"But Kurt isn't aware of his memories, is he?"
"No," Gwen hit the wall with her fist, "No, no, no!"
"What about the drawings? He's got to be aware."
"On some level yea but not really," Ben looked to the side, "Gwen…what can you tell me about Ianto Jones?"
Sobbing Gwen curled up on the floor, hands curled into her chest.
"Jack…oh God Jack…"
Ben's question made Gwen take a step back. It had been a while since she had heard her dead colleague's name. There was a quiet understanding between her and Jack that they wouldn't speak about him. It hurt too much.
"Why?"
"I think you should see this."
"Gwen?" Arwen said, "are you ok?"
Instead of answering Gwen shut the door on Arwen's face.
Once Gwen had finished watching the film of memories she had fallen to the side.
"What-that's-that's not possible!"
Ben had rolled his eyes, "Really? How long have you worked for Torchwood?"
"He must have touched something-like Elise, it's just like Elise."
"It's not like Elise," Ben had crouched down and looked her in the eye, "First off Elise was aware of them. She knew they were memories and that the reason she was "remembering" them was because of that device."
"But-"
"Second-the memories she had were sharp and precise-almost like a movie. Kurt's memories are disjointed and only focus on a few key things."
"It's still not-"
"Did you see that one memory? Where that weird object touched him?"
Still crying Gwen managed to stand up and walk to the sink.
"That machine," Gwen's eyes went wide, "I-I remember. It-it came through the rift when Jack-when Jack was gone. Tosh was examining it but-but then we went home, Ianto," Gwen shivered when she spoke her name, "Ianto said he would put it in the archives but somehow it disappeared. We were gonna look through the CCTV to see what happened but we were sobusy we just forgot and-"
Gwen looked into the mirror. Her face was red and her eyes were swollen.
"I think that device did something," Ben clicked his tongue, "I…have a thought."
"Do you?"
"Have you ever heard of reincarnation?"
Turning on the tap Gwen cupped water in her hands to wash her face.
"Reincarnation?"
"It…kind of makes sense."
"How? How does that make sense?"
Ben shrugged, "Kurt has Ianto's memories-the ones that stuck the most anyways."
"Kurt was born in 1994-Ianto was like…twelve at that time."
"Uh…Torchwood." Gwen glared at him.
"Besides," Ben said, "You saw his memories. You recognized them. We showed you that report the hospital wrote when Kurt started talking about Cybermen. It's the same day Ianto died-the same time even."
"Stop!"
Shuddering Gwen opened the door and stepped out. The entire team was outside waiting for her.
"Ben told us what's going on," John said, "I've got to say…it kind of makes sense. In a Torchwood way."
"Stop," Gwen rubbed her forehead, "I don't-this doesn't make any kind of sense."
Arwen shrugged, "It's the best we got; and like John and Ben said it does make sense. He knows about your team. He knows things only Ianto would know-"
"Please-"Gwen sighed, "please don't say-"
"Shit," John laughed, "I just thought of something."
"What?" Ben said. John licked his lips,
"Who is going to tell Jack?"
Arwen and Ben looked at Gwen who stepped back.
"No-no, no, I am not going to tell Jack. God, I can't."
"You have to."
Gwen turned around, "No-no I refuse. Why," she looked at the team, "why can't you tell him?"
"You know him better than any of us. Not to mention you actually knew this Ianto guy." Gwen flinched.
"Can we just…not tell him?"
"Don't be fucking stupid," John said, "if we don't tell him, Jack won't let them go."
"I can't tell him. Jack will be devastated."
"He'll be fine," Ben said, "Jack's always fine."
Gwen closed her eyes, "I don't think he'll be fine."
When Jack woke up, his hands were cuffed-and not in a sexy way. His wrist strap was missing and his head hurt.
"My head," grimacing Jack touched the back of his head and hissed, "Damn…what happened?"
Kurt
Gasping Jack tried to stand up only to find out that his feet were also tied together. Sighing Jack fell back down in his bed.
"Hello, Jack."
"Gwen," he smiled, "how nice of you to come see me."
"Jack," Gwen stood in front of him face pale and eyes red, "we need to talk."
"About how you and my team-"
Gwen placed a hand over Jack's mouth.
"Please just-"she bit her lip and a tear slid down her cheek. Jack blinked. He waited until Gwen removed her hand.
"What's wrong? Did I kill-"
Gwen let out a sob.
"Ben-Ben looked at what the mind-probe got from Kurt," Gwen frowned, "who is VERY much human, Jack."
"The scanner could have been faulty."
Gwen ignored him, "You could have killed him, Jack. You could have killed-" her eyes went wide, "Ben found something."
"What did he find?"
"Kurt is not an alien-he is under alien possession and he's not like Elise was-"
"Elise?" Jack asked baffled, "The one with the alien's memories?"
"-Kurt's not like that."
Jack glared at her, "He's a threat."
"No," Gwen's hand twitched, "no Jack. The only reason you went after that boy was because of personal reasons-it had nothing to do with Torchwood."
Jack said nothing. Gwen helped him stand up.
"I need you to watch something."
"What?"
Gwen hesitated, "Kurt's memories."
"Why?"
"You have to watch it."
Jack rolled his eyes, "Why?"
Gwen closed her eyes and rubbed her eyes,
"Because we messed up, Jack."
Without another word Gwen set up the laptop. Her hand hovered over the keyboard.
"Aren't you going to play it?"
"Jack," Gwen faced him, "I just-we didn't know, Jack. Try to remember that ok? Ianto, Tosh, nobody knew what that scanner thing was and we never checked why it disappeared. You were gone and we were trying to pick up the slack."
A knot formed in Jack's stomach.
"Ianto? Gwen what are you talking about?" his friend didn't say anything.
"Put it in play." Jack said.
Hand shaking Gwen pressed play and moved away. Jack watched the screen. The image was hazy but Jack could see a woman. She had blue eyes and dark hair. Her arms were reaching for him,
"Cariad, come here…"
Small, chubby arms reached out to her.
"Mama!"
The picture shifted. That same woman was being dragged away. Jack couldn't see the people dragging her away just the outlines. He heard the voice of a child,
"Mama! Mama!"
Jack was confused. These were not Kurt's memories that much was clear. Alicia Hummel had blue eyes yes but her hair had been light brown. The screen went black for a second before clearing up again. A tall, stocky man was swinging his fists.
"I'll teach you-"the man pushed someone. A child screamed. Jack was getting more and more confused.
"Gwen these aren't-"
"Keep watching."
A woman looked out from the screen. She had a heart shaped face and familiar blue eyes.
"Are you sure you'll be alright? Johnny-"
"I'll be fine, Rhiannon," why was that name so familiar? "Don't worry-I can handle Tad."
Welsh-those were Welsh names.
"Get out!" That same man throwing someone on the ground, "I'll not have some pervert living under my roof!"
After that all Jack could see were the outlines of trees and houses before the screen went black for a second time. He looked over at Gwen who was facing away from him.
"Hello," Jack's heart stopped, "My name is Ianto-Ianto Jones." Lisa was on the screen a huge smile on her face, "Lisa-Lisa Hallet."
"This isn't funny."
Gwen didn't answer him. Jack's jaw clenched but he kept watching.
"May I have this dance?" A pale hand appeared on the screen. Lisa looked up and grabbed it, "but of course Mr. Jones."
A new image appeared. Lisa was looking down, a soft grin on her face. She was naked, "I love you, Ianto," Jack's eye twitched, "Rwy'n dy garu di, Lisa."
Jack felt sick.
Smoke-smoke and fire was the next thing Jack saw on the screen.
"Lisa!" Ianto was screaming, "LISA!" there where Cybermen; there where Daleks fighting each other, "LISA!" And then the Cybermen and Daleks were gone and Ianto was touching Lisa's half converted body, "It's ok Cariad, it's ok Lisa-I'll-I'll get you out of here. Everything is going to be ok, I'll get you out. You'll be ok, you'll be ok, everything is going to be ok."
Jack's hand's started to shake. He watched as Ianto knocked out a couple of security guards and stole a van. He saw Ianto sneak Lisa into the hub. Jack saw Ianto save him from that weevil,
"Love the coat."
Jack saw Ianto offering him a cup of coffee. He saw Ianto on his first day at Torchwood Three and Ianto sneaking down to the lower levels to take care of Lisa. Jack saw when he and the team arriving, Jack pointing a gun to Ianto's head.
"Shoot her or I'll shoot you."
"You're a monster."
Gwen was sobbing. Jack couldn't stop watching.
"What should I put down, Sir?"
Suzie.
"I don't know…she did have a lot of deaths, didn't she?"
"I'll just put "Death by Torchwood" then Sir."
God.
"Think about it Sir-lots of things you can do with a stopwatch."
"Oh yea…I can think of a few things. I'll send the team home early-see you in ten minutes?"
Jack saw himself smile on screen, eyes filled with lust,
"That's ten minutes and counting, Sir."
Gwen kept crying. The next memory that came up on screen made Jack sick,
"Tosh…I think they're going to eat us."
The cannibals-the refrigerator was full of body parts. Jack saw Ianto bash his head into Evan's head. He saw as the cannibals beat Ianto up. Jack saw himself come in, guns blazing.
"…can't remember a time where it wasn't like this; like rats eating away at my stomach."
All Jack could see was Ianto's hand's tidying up the hub. Tosh was staring at him slightly horrified, the pendant that Mary had given her around the technician's neck.
Next thing Jack saw was his coat being caressed by Ianto's hands. He heard Ianto crying.
"Abandon…" Ianto was mourning him; had mourned him when he thought Jack was dead.
Jack's face appeared on the screen again. He looked pale and tired but his arms were wide open.
"Come here."
His own face came at him before the screen went black for a second. Jack laughed a little. He remembered Ianto's face after Jack had stopped kissing him. His lover had looked so surprised.
"Poor lost little lambs, where's your Sheppard?"
With a gasp Jack scrambled backwards. He could see the faint outline of the Toflacane flying around.
"That's-"Gwen sniffled, "that's the only memory I couldn't place."
Soon enough the Toflacane fade away and the drugged out blowfish comes on the screen.
"….lost without your master…"
And once again Jack was facing himself.
"I came back for you," Jack saw his eyes land on Ianto before shifting away. He never wanted to hit himself more, "for all of you."
"How are you, Ianto?"
"All the better for having you back, Sir."
Ianto had been so serious. Jack's lips quivered,
"Are you asking me out on a date?"
They never did get a proper date. Torchwood and Jack's fears kept getting in the way.
"Remember what happened the last time you used it?"
The mind-probe flashed on the monitor. Jack swallowed. What had he done?
"-love people…people I never would have known if I stayed where I was," Jack's throat closed up, "and I wouldn't change that for the world."
Jack gritted his teeth and ignored the tears sliding down his cheeks.
No you don't-no you don't Jack! You think it's cold and lonely out there but it isn't for me because I have him! He loves me!
You really think you can go back to your life before Torchwood?
I wouldn't know anything different
I would
Gwen hunched over more, back shaking. Jack moaned in despair. God he had looked so broken over the thought of losing Gwen.
"God Ianto…"
Owen's dead body flashed up on the screen for a second or two; Jack saw himself with the resurrection glove ready to use it.
"-dancing with her boss in such a way! And in front of her husband!"
"His mother was right-poor Rhys…"
Cringing Jack's hunched down. Through Ianto's eyes he saw himself dancing with Gwen as if he was the husband. Jack saw himself pulling Ianto in for a dance that from his lover's point of view seemed very tense.
The next image up was Ianto was in a cell with Gwen,
"—your fault Hart!"
"Hey, it's not my fault Grey's insane!"
Jack was then watching Tosh dying in the medical bay.
"I can't watch this anymore."
Gwen sobbed. Jack continued watching.
The first thing he saw was the rift manipulator vibrating and the lights flashing. He heard Ianto panting. His lover was running towards the archives and he ran past a smoking cybermen.
"No."
Gwen let out a loud cry.
Jack saw Ianto open the archival safe-the one that held the most dangerous objects dropped by the rift. Jack cried out,
"No!"
"Jack!" Ianto's voice rang out, "answer me!" Jack could hear metallic stomping, "Fuck!"
Tosh's computers came to life on the screen. Ianto was typing frantically, looking at the CCTV,
"There-"
"No…no, no, no."
Jack watched as he twirled Gwen on the screen before kissing her. Ianto drew in a sharp breath before speaking again,
"Jack! Jack, Gwen there's cybermen in the hub!"
Gwen and Jack continued to kiss on screen. Growling Ianto grabbed something before running to the left.
"Halt!" Jack stopped breathing, "You will be upgraded."
Ianto ran. He ran and ran until he reached Jack's office until he dropped onto the room below it and locked it. Jack's old bedroom; Ianto had locked himself in Jack's old bedroom. When Ianto looked down Jack screamed,
"NO!"
The Ajueaahl bomb-one of the most powerful bombs they had at the hub. It would destroy the entire upper level-it would disintegrate everything.
Ianto laid on the bed and stared up at the ceiling for a second before laughing,
"Fucking Torchwood."
The screen turned black. Jack was ready to throw the laptop to the ground when Gwen spoke,
"There's one more memory."
"I can take it out again for you tomorrow. I just don't like artifacts out in the main part of the hub."
Ianto's voice was hurting him. Jack watched his lover carefully pick up the object in question with gloves and start walking towards the archives.
"Shit!"
Jack watched Ianto take a step back before the artifact hovered in mid-air. Rigid Jack looked on as the machine scanned Ianto's head. A minute passed before the machine stopped and fell to the floor. Ianto also fell to the floor, panting and shaking.
"Where did-what happened?"
Gwen came over and closed the laptop before sitting next to him. She took off the handcuffs and untied his feet.
"Jack-"
He threw the laptop on the floor.
"Get out."
Gwen tried to pull him into a hug but Jack pushed her off and snarled,
"I SAID GET OUT!"
Gasping Gwen ran out. Jack roared and stomped on the laptop until it laid in pieces on the floor. Still shouting Jack grabbed a chair and threw it against the door. He wanted to destroy. He wanted to maim. He wanted to scream at the universe. He wanted to tear the mine-probe apart.
"You're going to kill me."
Kurt had reminded him a little of Ianto when he first saw him. His eyes are the same.
"I don't want to die here again!"
Those drawings had haunted him. They reminded Jack of everything he had done wrong.
"Please don't! NO! I don't want to die in Torchwood! Not again!"
Jack had tried so hard to forget. To push everything into a box so he wouldn't have to deal with it. He grabbed his revolver and held it up to his head. Gwen had tried to warn him. His team had tried to warn him, to stop him from hurting Blaine and Kurt. Jack couldn't deal with Kurt knowing so much about his old team. When he saw the drawings Jack had been so angry, so devastated. All he had wanted to do since then is make Kurt pay. Jack had wanted to hurt him maybe even kill the boy if there was proof that he was a threat to Torchwood.
"I don't want to die in Torchwood! Not again!"
Shuddering Jack pulled the trigger.
When Jack comes back to life, gasping and flailing his eyes land on the broken laptop and he remembers what he's done. He grabs the gun and shoots himself again.
()()()()()()()()()
"Ok," John stared at Jack's dead body, "maybe he's not going to be ok."
Ben shivered, "Yea."
"Is there anything we can do? I mean," Arwen grimaced, "do we go down there and take the gun away or?"
Gwen shook her head, "Jack needs to get it out of his system I think." She looked at them, "you guys should go home and rest."
"Uh-"
"I'll still be here," Gwen said, "I think Jack just…needs to be alone right now."
"What about the boys?"
Gwen looked at the other monitor. Blaine was lying on the other bed, seemingly asleep.
"If something goes wrong I'll call. It's not like Jack is going to hurt them anymore."
"Alright," John yawns, "would be nice to go home and sleep. Call if anything happens or if he starts to wake up." He heads up the stairs towards the exit. After some hesitation Ben and Arwen follow. Gwen watches them leave before turning off the camera in Jack's room. Sitting down she took a big breath before letting out another cry.
"I'm sorry, Ianto. I'm so, so sorry."
()()()()()()()()()
The second time Jack comes back to life his shirt is bloody.
"I don't want to die in Torchwood! Not again!"
Jack shoots himself again.
()()()()()()()()()
The third time Jack wakes up his head is in a puddle of his drying blood. He presses the revolver to his head again but doesn't shoot. Five minutes passed before Jack lowers the gun. He stared at his ceiling, his entire body thrumming with life.
"Ianto."
The name is torn from his mouth.
"Ianto."
Jack had nearly killed Ianto. He had nearly killed his lover.
"Ianto."
Back when he'd been traveling with the Doctor, Jack had heard of that machine. It was used for "second chances". For people that had been wrongly locked away or treated unfairly. It gave them another chance at a happy life.
"They're just dreams!"
Kurt remembered everything. Kurt knew about Jack, remembered Jack.
"Oh…"
Jack had nearly killed him again. Jack had used the mind-probe on Kurt and-
"Ianto!"
Standing up Jack looked around. He opened the top drawer of his wardrobe and pulled out four capped needles. Hiding the needles in his pocket he ran out of room. He needed to see Ianto. He needed to hold him, to make sure he was ok. Maybe he should talk to John as well and have him run a few test to make sure that Jack hadn't done any permanent damage. Panting he jumps down the stairs,
"John!" he shouts, "JOHN!"
"Shhh!"
Gwen came up to meet him,
"What's wrong, Jack?"
"Where's John?" he looked around, frantic, "I need him to run a few tests on Ianto. I need him to make sure that he's ok, that I didn't hurt him or kill him or-"
"Jack don't worry about. John already ran all the tests. He said Kurt should be just fine."
"Where is he? Where's Ianto?"
"Kurt," Gwen said, "is sleeping in one of the break rooms with Blaine."
"I want to see him."
"Jack I don't think that's a very good idea."
"Why not?"
Gwen let out a breath, "You-you scared them Jack. Kurt might not be awake right now but you could easily wake up Blaine and I'm pretty sure he's terrified of you."
"I want to see Ianto."
"Kurt."
"I want to see him now, Gwen."
"Jack please be reasonable. You can't go in there."
Growling Jack stomped past Gwen,
"Watch me."
"No, Jack, no," Gwen tried to hold him back, "Jack!"
"Please I just want to see him Gwen I just," he paused, "I need to make sure that he's going to be ok. That I didn't kill him."
Gwen tried to smile, "John said he was going to be fine, Jack."
"I need to see for myself," Jack frowned. Gwen paused and looked at the monitor behind her. Jack plunged a needle into her arm.
"Jack!" Gwen shouted and tried to hit him but her arms refused to cooperate, "What-"she felt dizzy and weak, "what did you do to me?"
"I'm sorry," Jack picks her up, "I need to be with him, ok Gwen? I need to see him, I need to make sure I didn't-I just want to be with him. Alone."
Gwen shivered, "Jack, no-"
"I just want to be with him, Gwen. I just-it's Ianto. I want-I need to hold him, ok? Give me this night. That's all I'm asking for."
Gwen wanted to shout and possibly shoot Jack. Part of her is scared that he was going to do something crazy but she's tired and not just physically.
"Please just let me-let me be with him. I promise I won't do anything just let me be with him."
"Jack…"
He lays her down somewhere soft.
"No…"
"It's ok-you'll wake up in an hour or so. I just need to be with him, Gwen. Even if it's just for tonight I want to be with him."
Jack's tear streaked face is the last thing Gwen sees before she goes to sleep.
()()()()()()()()
Jack stays with Gwen for a minute or so to be sure that she's out. When she doesn't wake up and attack him he rushes to the break room but stops halfway there. He can't just barge in there. Kurt might continue sleeping but Blaine would probably wake up and Jack would rather not hurt him anymore. He thought about how he's going to get to Kurt without Blaine interrupting him when Jack remembered his wrist strap.
"Where did they put it?"
Jack looked through John and Ben's desks but didn't find it. He found it in Arwen's desk, buried under some old files. Laughing he ran to the break room, heart racing. When he reached the door Jack hesitated. Taking a big breath Jack slowly pushed the door open. Stepping inside Jack looked over at Kurt.
"Ianto."
Smiling he stood next to the bed his hand hovering over Kurt's face.
"Hi Ianto," licking his lips Jack turned around and faced Blaine. Scowling he pressed a few buttons on his wrists strap and aimed it at the center of the room. A bright light shot out before disappearing. Grinning Jack sat down on the edge of the bed and petted Kurt's hair.
"Hey," Jack carefully picked Kurt up until he was sitting on his lap, his head resting on Jack's chest. Gingerly he bent down and kissed Kurt's forehead.
"Ianto."
()()()()()()
Blaine woke up with a gasp. Something was wrong-something was very wrong. Rubbing his eyes he looked over at Kurt and let out a shout. His boyfriend was in their captors arms.
"Leave him alone!"
Standing up Blaine ran at them only to be shoved back.
"What?"
A shimmering light was standing between him and his boyfriend. Panting Blaine cautiously reached out and touched it. It gave him a small shock. Hissing he pulled his hand back.
"Ianto…come on Ianto, wake up."
"Leave him alone!" Blaine screamed. Jack looked up at him. His grip on Kurt tightened. Blaine was about to scream again when his boyfriend moaned. Both he and Jack froze.
"Kurt?" Blaine said, eyes tearing up. Jack laughed and kissed Kurt's cheek. Blaine's blood ran cold.
"Ianto, hey, hi," Kurt whimpered and cuddled closer to Jack. Blaine fell to his knees,
"Let him go," Blaine whispered. Jack ignored him and continued petting Kurt. The older man's was caressing Kurt's face and his chest. It made Blaine sick with rage.
"Leave him alone you bastard!"
Jack didn't respond.
"Ianto-Ianto come on wake up."
"….Jack?"
The older man let out a sigh, "Yea, it's me," he leaned down and touched his forehead with Kurt, "Ianto."
Blaine once again tried to go forward but was once again shocked. Kurt blinked and turned his head. His eyes were glassy and he looked at Blaine as if he had never seen him before.
"B-B-Blaine?"
"Hi Kurt," Blaine's voice cracked, "hi."
Jack growled and turned Kurt's head back towards him.
"Ianto," Jack said-commanded, "Ianto."
Kurt frowned, "Jack…Sir-"
"No, no," Jack placed a finger on Kurt's lips, "not Sir, Ianto."
"….Jack."
"KURT!" Blaine shouted, "Leave him alone!"
Smiling Jack stood up with Kurt still in his arms.
"Where are you going?"
The older man didn't even look at Blaine as he left. As soon as the door shut the shimmering light popped. Blaine charged at the door but it was locked.
"GET BACK HERE!" he kicked and pounded the door, "why are you doing this? Give him back! KURT! Bring him back!"
Shouting Blaine gave the door one final kick before stepping back. He tugged at his hair, desperate for somebody to come and help.
"HELP!" he screamed, "PLEASE HELP!"
He slumped to the ground.
"Kurt…"
Blaine closed his eyes and curled up on the floor. He wanted his boyfriend back. Jack had already hurt Kurt so much. It was a shock to see the older man touching and kissing Kurt as Blaine did. He was terrified of what the man would do.
"Please help…please somebody help."
()()()()())()()
Jack was careful not to walk too fast. He kept looking down at Kurt who kept looking around the hub.
"We're almost there, Ianto."
"…hub?"
"Yea we're at the hub."
Kurt groaned, "No…blew up…no."
"Shh," Jack carefully climbed the stairs to his room, "it's ok Ianto, don't worry about it."
It was a little awkward opening the door but Jack managed it. He made sure not to trip on the mess he left earlier. Jack placed Kurt down on the bed. Brushing some debris away Jack kneeled down and stared at Kurt.
"Jack."
"Hi," grinning Jack ran a finger down Kurt's nose, "you have the same nose."
Kurt blinked. Shuffling closer Jack ran his hand over Kurt's hair, "No curls this time."
"Blaine?"
"You're eyes are the same too," Jack moved his hand down Kurt's face, "I'm sorry," Jack nuzzled Kurt, "I'm so, so sorry. I should have listened to you. I should have listened to you and my team. I should have never used the mind-probe."
"Beth." Kurt said his eyes closing. Jack kissed his cheek.
"You can go to sleep."
Standing up Jack looked around his drawers looking for a paper and pen, trying not to make too much sound. When Jack found what he needed he wrote a quick note to Gwen and slipped it under his door. That done he carefully got into bed with Kurt and pulled him close to his chest. Sighing he kissed Kurt's hair.
"Jack," Kurt looked up at him confused, "no…wait, Blaine…Blaine?"
"He's ok," Jack grabbed Kurt's hand and played with his fingers, "Don't worry about him."
Kurt groaned and arched his back. He looked at Jack's lips and frowned,
"Gwen."
Jack's breath hitched, "No-no Gwen," he brought Kurt's hand up to his chest and placed it over his heart, "just us."
"Jack," Kurt's hand curled around the coat as he yawned, "love…the coat."
Laughing Jack took his coat off and used it as a blanket for the both of them.
"I loved your suits," Jack touched Kurt's vest, "still love to wear layers I see."
Kurt gave a sleepy laugh, "Mhmm…teaboy."
Grimacing Jack said, "You were never just the teaboy, Ianto."
Confused Kurt shook his head, "My name…Kurt…Kurt."
Jack tucked his coat tighter, "Ianto," Jack looked at the young boy in his arms. Kurt's eyes were glassy and at that moment so very blue, "tonight," he bent down and touched his nose to Kurt's, "Tonight you're Ianto."
A/N-Yea...Jack is still not taking this very well. I promise there will be nothing sexual between the two. Jack just really wants to say a few things and just...be with his "Ianto".
