Part 2 here we come... (eek...)
I wake up immediately aware of the pain in the bottom of my stomach. I remember something about pain being my friend. When did I say that? I can't remember but I know I did.
Catherine's knuckles knock my chin upward; the bone snapping. I manage to laugh; it's absurd. A knock like that wouldn't even have bruised at one point. Funny how quickly your body deteriorates...
"Do you not remember?"
Catherine asks curiously her voice hurting my ears; I know its not actually that loud but my shutting down body it is.
"Remember what?"
I ask my voice scratchy but so quiet it couldn't be heard. Unless you were a spy.
"The operation Cameron"
I frown, what is she talking about? I look around me, I don't recognise my surroundings but get a funny sense of déjà vu.
"Where am I? Why are you here? I shouldn't have got this far! I only left yesterday!"
I whisper panicking. I only left the school yesterday; if I'm lucky they may have not considered looking for me yet. They probably think I'm in a passage way somewhere. What's happened to me? Last night I was sat having with the girls having a manicure; I glance down at my nails; they are scratched; have no top layer of skin and caked with blood. What the fuck has happened?
Catherine laughed;
"Good that worked then. You don't remember anything because we made sure you didn't. We made sure you have no way of remembering. But as your awake and you shouldn't be I'm going to tell you your story because I take pleasure in pain. I guess some would call me a sadist. Some a psychopath. Some would even go as far as a psychopathic sadist. But do you think I give a shit? Of course I don't. Silly gossip doesn't affect me; it's just silly, immature.
So Cameron Morgan, get ready to experience pain. The worst pain you've ever felt."
I choke. There is a big blank in my head where stuff should be. I cant even bare to think what 'stuff' but I know I'm about to find out...
She starts to speak; my mind is reeling; how could I forget all these things?
"... Let me show you the video again Cameron. This time we'll finish it"
She whispered maliciously as Dr Steve wheeled out an old television with a VCR connected to it. he presses play.
I am frozen in place; unable to tear my eyes away from the screen; it is so horrific. My father. My own father. Yet he doesn't look like him; he is so much thinner; weaker. Almost translucent screen.
I retch as the screen flickers than flashes back on; Catherine walks over with a knife. It drags across his throat; I scream, thrashing, unable to do anything. Unable to stop it from happening. The tears blind me as he collapses back dead. I try to get up. I want to kill her. I need to kill her.
I am unable to move, tied in place. I stop moving; too weak to move anymore. I lay still silently crying. She carries on her story, until again she wants to shock me;
"... so yes you had an operation Cameron; an operation to make you infertile; no children for Cameron. I mean, its silly but I don't want Zach getting you pregnant. Yes you are going to see him again; but not for long, because you are going to feel safe again and the boom everything will fall apart and you wont remember this at all. Cameron, before the operation, when you had been knocked out, I thought I'd let you know that Dr Steve had his way with you. I didn't watch but yes I let him do it because I can see the pain in your eyes and that makes me feel good. It gives me a boost. So now you know that Cammie, I'm going to make you forget again."
I throw up a load of bile. I am shaking uncontrollably. How can this be happening? I look down at my naked body. My private parts are stained with blood. I guess what she said was true then.
It takes over then; the pain. The emotional pain I must have being holding back. The screams echo through my body. I can't hold it back anymore. The pain is something I cant explain; even trying is impossible. The screams and sobs continue. "I must be dying. The end must come soon" I think to myself knowing it wont. Knowing I've caused my family and friends so much pain and heart ache and they'll just get over it and I'll do it again. This was meant to happen I realise. This was always going to happen. An untimely death. I'm a bad person. Selfish. The way I can do this; get myself in these situations is down right selfish. Never ever considering others, just jumping in head first. I'm a disappointment to my mother, to my father. To everyone who knows me; if only I could tell them. New waves of pain coarse through me. It's uncontrollable, unstoppable. I deserve it though; this should happen; it is what is supposed to happen. The screams are coming freely now; everything I ever had is gone. Gone forever. There is no way of going back. I can't feel emotions I once treasured and I don't want to now; they cause too much pain. For everyone. Love will never get you anywhere, just hurt you. I feel the injection enter my arm; but its not working; now how it should work anyway. The pain I'm feeling; the adrenaline rush I'm getting from it isn't enough to knock me out. I can feel little memories floating away in bits and pieces; but its not how she wanted it too happen; I should be unconscious. But never was it going to be this simple; I deserved to feel memories leave me. I deserve the pain of knowing everything I know is going to disappear and suddenly there will be nothing and only then will I drop unconscious. It's messy though; Catherine doesn't like messy.
I watch memorized as Catherine's hand, wrapped around a brick, comes flying towards me; how crude. I let out one last blood curdling scream as it smashes into my head.
"Where am I?"
I heard the words, but I wasn't sure I'd said them. The voice was too rough, too coarse to be mine. It was as if there was a stranger in my skin, lying in the dark, saying, "Who's there?"
Well there we go that's the end of my first fanfiction. I'm guessing you all realised that the end in bold and italics was the start of GG5; I would also like to say this was started before GG6 and has no relevance to it. (I haven't even read it yet! I've been out of money until recently :( )
Thank you so much to all those who have stuck by me through this. I never expected the reception I got and I can never thank you enough. So one huge "THANK YOU!" to you all and I love you. It seems strange to be saying this but this has being an emotional journey writing this; I've covered some horrific topics, which have broken my heart at times, but its important we know about these things to try and stop them from happening.
I really can't believe I've finished this now; it's sad but I'm kind of relieved too because I am presently working on a much more light-hearted fanfiction to do with the avengers (so if any of you are avengers fans look out for it; I'll be posting it soon) so that will be fun.
Well thank you everyone, please post a quick review telling me what you thought! I love your reviews; they make me very happy :D well I will probably be writing another fanfiction for our beloved Gallagher Girls sometime!
Lots of love xxx
