Chapter 11

Alex tried to heat things up when they went to bed, but Bobby said he was tired. He kissed her afterward, as if to tell her it wasn't her; it wasn't that he didn't want to…

His back was to her, and she gently ran the back of her hand up and down his warm skin. She stared at the ceiling, thinking.

He was frustrated. He was self-conscious about it because of his hand. As her mind wandered, her hand pushed against him.

"Sorry," he whispered, and scooted away from her.

She looked over at him, surprised, then let her hand relax against her chest. She tried to put herself in his place, but she couldn't imagine that a cast on her hand would bother her that much, or keep her from anything she really wanted.

She sighed quietly. She wasn't Bobby. She wasn't a man, with all the pressures of performance they had programmed into them as teenagers. She was a woman, who, now that she knew what her heart wanted, intended to go after it. She also had a very different personality than him. When Alex set her mind to something, nothing would stop her. Bobby wasn't like that. He often stalled in pursuit of his goals. He would persist, and eventually get there, but he always had to wrestle down his demons along the way.

She turned to her side and threw an arm over him, hugging him. "I like being close to you, Bobby," she said.

Bobby may have said he was tired, but he was wide awake. He liked the feel of her arm around him, but he knew what was really behind her words, and he felt lousy. He let out a long, slow, sigh. "I wish I could give you more," he said.

She raised her body and rested her head on his bicep. "What?"

He closed his eyes, feeling miserable all over again. "You deserve more," he whispered.

"Oh, for crying out loud!" Her aggravation cut through the silence of the room. "It's just a broken hand, Bobby. You have another one. It's not like you're in a fucking coma or something."

He got to his feet and turned to face her. "No, thank God it's only a broken hand! My fucking left hand, the one I've been doing everything with since I was fucking born! Excuse me for wanting to be able to make you feel…never mind!" He grabbed his pillow and stormed out of the bedroom.

Alex smacked her hand against the mattress. "Shit!"


Goren was folded into the sofa as well as a man of his size could be. He was on his side, with a throw blanket reaching as high as his hips. He'd given up on sleeping and was staring at the electrical socket on the opposite side of the room.

She would leave him now, he was sure of that. No woman would try to have a relationship with an asshole like him. Maybe he could still convince her to stay as his partner. They could just pretend they'd never kissed, never crossed that line—

"Bobby?"

He sat up quickly, jolted from his thoughts by the sound of her voice.

"I'm sorry." They both said it at once, and both were surprised to hear it from the other.

"I didn't mean to—"

"I shouldn't have—"

They stumbled over each other's words. With a quiet laugh, they both said, "You first."

Bobby gestured to her, and finally was able to speak in solo. "You first," he said again.

"I didn't mean to upset you," Alex said. "I know it must be frustrating, trying to do everything with the wrong hand. I guess I just didn't understand how you were feeling."

"I'm sorry, too, Alex." He knocked the pillow to the floor and invited her to sit on his right side. "I should never have spoken to you like that, no matter how frustrated I am."

As she sat down, he took her left hand in his right. "I… I…" Overwhelmed by the number of thoughts racing through his mind, he was unable to say any of it. "I'm sorry," he said again. He had to give her the chance to walk out on the romance with no second thoughts.

Alex tugged on his hand until he let her raise it to her lips. She kissed him there. "Don't give up on us yet, Bobby." She was surprised when he reached down and kissed her hard.

His words finally came, phrases and sentences filling the brief moments their mouths weren't pressed together. "I want you, Alex… I want to make you feel… special… You're so special to me… I just want to make love to you…. I want it to be the best you've ever… had…"

"Shut up, Bobby," Alex said.

He wasn't as smooth with his right hand. His cast bumped her; she had to help him removing clothes. But when he finally felt Alex over him, joined with him, he was able to fully satisfy her.

In the morning, he was torn between wanting to let her continue in her peaceful sleep and wanting to take her in his arms and make love to her again. A glance at the clock convinced him he could do neither.

Bobby leaned over her and kissed her temple. "It's 6:00," he said, and Alex groaned and stretched under him. He started to move away, but she caught him by the arm and brought him back long enough to greet him with a kiss.

"Good morning, Bobby."