Chapter 10: The ZADR confrontation chapter

Authors no-okay do I even need to put down 'authors note' anymore? It's not like some random southern hobo with corn in his ear walks by my house-Duedeedodeeduu lookit me IMA hobo with corn in my ears! Oh why didn't I stay in school so I could wipe off mens hands in a restroom for a living or wipe their ass in a middle class job! Oh hey look at that! Some girl must have left her laptop open on through sheer coincidence. I WILL NOW ACTIVATE MY HOBO POWERS! Wooosh fly through open window. Now I will go on and write fanfiction as a little girl about a random combination of characters I remember from the 2000s. Ain't I an awesome sauce hobo?-yeah cuz hobos do that stuff. Note sarcasm. PS-to anybody who has a hobo in your family please don't be offended by my hobo humor. I pity hobos. Donate a dollar to a hobo. They need the money. Please?

Dr. Tonja walked past him and stood in the landing while Dib closed the real and the fake door. She took a look around at the simple light navy blue grey walls and black shag carpet before bending down at his eye level and stating, "Wow, your family really likes the color blue huh?"

Dib rubbed the back of his head in slight embarrassment, "Yeah pretty much everything is."

"Really? Huh, you must like the color blue then. Or hate it a lot." Dr. Tonja blew a stray strand of hair out of her face before giving a large grin. He liked it when she smiled. It made her olive eyes twinkle. He automatically gave a small smile in return. She grinned little wider and stood up again. "Now Dib, if you're ready I think we should start. Any place in particular you want to do this thing?"

Dib looked up at the tall lady in confusion. Wasn't it her job to tell him what to do? He pointed towards the arch on his right. "We could do it in the living room," he replied hesitantly, "but does it really matter where? I mean you are here to evaluate how crazy I am."

"Is that…is that why you think I'm here? To call you crazy?" The therapist frowned at him in shock. Dib felt his scythe bounce as he nodded. Dr. Tonja pulled herself up to her full height. "Dib, I can assure you that's not the case. I promise you, I don't judge. I just listen. That's all. Anything said is between you, me and the floor boards."

"Wait-so no matter what I say you can't call me crazy? Not even tell other people I'm crazy." Dib reiterated, making sure he had heard that right. "I can say anything and you can't tell anyone?"

Dr. Tonja gave a quick nod of reassurance, "Completely 100% confidentiality. Mm-hmm. Yeppers and peppers."

Dib stood still with his mouth open in disbelief before involuntarily breaking out into smirk that would've given even alien scum Zim a run for his money. "Lady by the time we're through you're gonna wish that you could. Come on," he said walking past the now very confused shrink. He walked through the arch towards the couch with the muffled clumps of the shrinks heels right behind him. The living room itself was pretty simple in actuality. Plain navy blue walls, dark grey shag carpet on the floor, mediumish size tv on a stand on the far side of the room, across was an average lovers couch with

Little brown stands on either side. Nothing was actually special about it but with whole memory thing. Dib took a deep breath then launched himself onto the couch. He did a small pirouette in mid air before crashing onto the purple cushions. He looked up at the lady hanging by the door way. She looked around before pointing through another arch that led into the kitchen.

"Would you mind if I pull up a chair?" she asked backing out of the room. Dib shook his head no, then sprawled out on the couch. He heard the soft click of her heels against the tiles in the kitchen followed by a soft scrape. Wonder if she's going to do the whole "it all started when I was born thing", Dib thoughtfully thought. Dr. Tonja carried a small chair from the kitchen, proceeding to plop into it. Setting the briefcase down beside her, she opened a metal clasp and dug around inside before pulling out a small notepad and pencil.

"So Dib," She started, "Why don't we start with what happened at school today, hmm?"

"I was playing soccer during recess. Zim was supposed to be the goalie. Why he was playing was a mystery but like everything else he does it probably had something with his quest for world domination. Maybe he was trying to make a army of soccer minions or a new sort of weapon. Either way I had to check it out." Dib heard Tonja make a few scribbles on the notepad as he went on, finding his rhythm. "I got in the game and to be honest it was pretty hard. I'm not really the most popular kid in my school. They think I'm crazy." He added dismally.

"I take it you don't like the way they treat you." Dr. Tonja prodded egging him to continue. Dib pushed up his glasses before answering carefully.

"Well it wasn't always like that," Dib explained. " I used to have a few friends. But they don't like me anymore."

"What makes you say that?" Dr. Tonja asked quickly writing things down on the yellow paper.

"Carl joined other kids and started making fun of me, and Duh…come to think of it I haven't seen him since the whole moose episode. Huh…" Dib shrugged. "And then there's Gretchen which is another matter completely."

"Gretchen?" Dr. Tonja's eyebrows perked. Dib gave a quick nod.

"I kinda sorta maybe had a thing for her once. She was the only one who stood by me with the whole crazy thing until I told her we couldn't be friends anymore."

"Did you not like her?"

"What! No way! Gretchen was the best. Me and her used to go stargazing with Carl. We had play dates ALL the time. She didn't even mind the paranormal. She was great." Dib smiled remembering. He stared up at the navy blue ceiling. The little white heart she drew on the ceiling was still there. He still couldn't believe she could jump that high. He pointed to the ceiling, "She made that you know. There, that little heart. During one of our play dates."

Tonja followed his gaze and gave a small smile before frowning. "If you liked her, then why would you stop being friends with her?"

Dib frowned up at the little heart. His chest felt tighter than it had a few minutes ago. He took a deep breath before continuing, "When people started…teasing me she defended me. Carl and Duh did too at first but then they left because…I think…that maybe…other people were making fun of them too. Then it was just me and Gretchen against the world. It was nice then I overheard a bunch of girls making fun of her on the playground. They were throwing stuff at her, making fun of her overbite and braces, calling her the Freaky Friend of Freakzilla…and she just stood there…taking it. Then she started started yelling at them. Asking them why they were doing this to her…and they told her…it was me or them." Dib swallowed. "So I told her later that… I never really liked her and to buzz off."

Dib took another breath. He took a few moments before rolling on his side to face Dr. Tonja. She was just looking at him, doing that searching thing with her eyes again. Dib shifted uncomfortable with the attention. Dr. Tonja noticed and shifted topics. "We got a little sidetracked. Why don't we pick up where you left off."

"After nearly getting my shins kicked out, I managed to get the ball past everyone and tried to get score a goal. I didn't mean to but I ended up hitting Zim in the face which made up for everything.", he smirked rolling back onto his back. "When I hit him, one of his contacts fell of and was trampled by the other kids. The other I think cracked or shattered or something. He started yelling at me and ran. I was…delayed by the other kids." He looked over at Dr. Tonja who nodded quietly. When he was sure she wasn't going to pop a question he continued, "I lost him in the hallway for a while but luckily Zim doesn't know the meaning of the word 'silence' so it was easy to find him. He thought he could hide in the bathroom, but I found him. I went into the stall next to him and took a picture of him without his disguise on. Here, let me just get it out…ehbububububa…eehh…here." He pulled out his iphone from his overcoat and scrolled through before pulling up the picture. Dr. Tonja shook her head.

"Maybe at the end, okay?" she crossed her legs, before blowing a stray black strand back in its place. She shifted some more, making the wooden chair creak. "Why don't we continue."

"Well after I took the picture he must have seen me because when I opened the door he was on the other side waiting for me." Dib set the phone on the floor. Okay just drop the dead weight like it's a ball. Release and breath. Dib went on hesitantly, "He asked what I was doing, I said nothing, he charged me, I tripped him, he fell into the toilet…and I cough gave him a swirly."

Dr. Tonja said nothing for a while. Dib fiddled with his fingers for a while before she started talking.

"You seem to know a lot about this Zim fellow." It wasn't a question, just a simple statement, but he took it like it was one.

"To defeat my enemy I must study my enemy, then become my enemy, then move in with my enemy, then put myself in his shirt...or tunic...I don't know what exactly it is." he concluded. Dr. Tonja looked up from her notepad. She was starting to do that weird studying thing again. He asked impatiently, "What?"

Dr. Tonja cleared his throat, "Well umm, this is going to be an awkward question…but…with the way you talk about Zim…you talk with such passion. Do you have feelings for him?"

"I have feelings of hatred."

"No I mean feelings for him."

Dib felt shock and disgust hit him like a tub of ice water. He snapped up in attention. Jaw dropped he turned slowly towards the woman whom he had just lost nearly all respect for. "What?"

"I just want to know all the facts, Dib. You could be repressing conflicting emotions that you don't find appropriate. But it's okay to-"

"Lady…he is a half lizard half insectiod alien from outer space…I'm pretty sure that falling in love with him is technical bestiality."

"Dib being gay isn't…wait…what did you just say?" Dr. Tonja stopped mid condolence. Dib looked her over. He didn't really get what was so confusing. He had made his point pretty clear.

"That Zim is a a half lizard half insectiod alien from outer space and that falling in love with a creature that is a hybrid creature no matter how human like in appearance is sick." Dib shrugged thoughfully. "I will admit Tak did get my heart pounding a little but I think that was because she was trying to destroy the earth."

Dr. Tonja shifted in chair again giving Dib a pitying look. "Dib… that was the reason why you followed him into the bathroom wasn't it?"

Dib felt…hurt. He didn't know how else to brand the emotion. Didn't she say she wasn't going to judge me? She said…she said…she lied to me. She lied to my face. Dib pulled himself out of the slums. But she did say she was here to listen. Yes, yes, YES! He reached behind him and pulled out his phone, unlocked it, and held it out to Dr. Tonja. She looked at it with pursed lips. He shook it a few times before he lost his patience.

"Doc, if you're really here to help me-if you are really here to listen then look. Please." He stressed slightly desperate. The therapist looked him over before frowning and giving him a quirky stare.

"Dib, have you been crying?" she asked gently, pointing a narrow finger to his face.

"WhAt? No-I was-I just-LOOK AT THE PHOTO WILL YA!" he said defensively, shaking the iphone side to side violently. 's face softened and gave a soft sigh. Dr. Tonja took the little rectangle in her hand. Her expression changed from a calm-yet-slightly-disgusted to one of mutual fascination. Her mouth dropped. She bit her lip. She skooched forward so she and Dib were elbow to elbow, angling it so that they shared the screen. She looked panicked and amazed…mainly panicked though.

"Dib what the name of ass cracking hell am I looking at?", Dr. Tonja asked pointing to Zim jumping off the toilet. Dib felt-dare he jinx it?-happy! He. Felt. relieved. He leaned on his elbows, ignoring the crunching of the box springs beneath him. He looked smugly up at his very bewildered therapist.

"What you are looking at Doctor is the greatest scientific discovery since penicillin or electricity or the automobile or television remote. I give you…the Irken." Dr. Tonja looked from the screen to Dib. Her eyes where bigger than Jupiter and thats saying something. She got down on all fours and began rummaging through her black briefcase. Dib launched himself off the sofa and grabbed her arm. "What are you doing?!"

"I'm calling your father!" Dr. Tonja responded trying to shrug off her tiny attacker. Dib wrapped his arms and legs around her arm to stop her from using it. She looked down at the little 5th grader clinging desperately to her fore arm. She closed her eyes and lowered her head.

"Dib, if you don't release my arm I WILL pepper spray you." She stated flatly, looking at him from the corner of her eyes. Didn't she get it? Why didn't she get it?

"If you tell my Dad he'll just call you crazy! You don't know my Dad! He has a scientific explanation for EVERYTHING. I once showed a video with even better lighting, sound, and choreography but he just blew it off-the WORLD blew it off. Please you promised!" He loosened his grip long enough for Dr. Tonja to pull him off. He got on his knees in a praying position. Dr. Tonja looked from him to the small blackberry in her hand before tossing it in the brief case. Her face was one of utter disappointment, longing and sorrow. She looked down at Dib before setting the phone back into the leather abyss from whence it came.

"You're right Dib. I did promise. And I keep my promises and confidentiality. But," She kneeled down on the floor next to Dib, her face deadly serious. "You need to let me help you with this okay?"

"Doctor Tonja, I've been to the butt on Mercury, fought Zim to the death and stopped him from destroying the earth dozens of times. I don't really need help."

"Okay but at least let me help you with school okay?" She sounded desperate. Heck she looked desperate. That wild coyote sparkle was back in her eyes and immediately made him feel like he was too close to her face. He took a wiggle back before giving a small nod. Dr. Tonja gave a huge sigh of relief before wrapping an arm around him and giving him a small noggie, making his scythe break again for the second time today. "Aha, I KNEW you weren't insane! Just weird!"

"Okay, seriously, why is everyone touching my hair today!?" Dib shouted desperately trying to rearrange his scythe again.

well I for one am pleased with this chapter because now I have created or resuscitated a new romance category DAGR (Dib And Gretchen Romance) As I go through all the stories, I feel like they're being used too much. I want to be different.

P.S Been looking up Zim and Gir relationships nonstop. Turns out…it is very complicated. Zim treats Gir like he doesn't care but he caves when Gir crys or gets upset. Zim thinks he's above Gir yet on the planet jacker episode he looks at gir almost for reassurance before going up to ask dib to use the telescope. And-my favorite moment by the way with Zim and Gir-they split a lick'em stick on the couch while watching the harry monkey show. THAT MONKEY! XD Thanks for reading! I appreciate you beyond belief!