The End of the Beginning
Lovino was nervous.
He wanted to knock, but something held him back. What if Antonio had moved on? It had been years, Lovino wouldn't be surprised.
Lovino shouldn't hold Antonio down, that was selfish. Yet, he never wanted to be more selfish in his entire life.
He gently knocked on the door. Would Antonio even open the door?
He did.
The simple, white, door opened and Antonio peaked his head out. His eyes widened when he saw Lovino standing there.
"Hi... Antonio."
Lovino carefully stepped into his cell, his heart heavy.
Lovino wished he had never been born. More importantly, he wished he had never met Antonio.
"Lovino? Oh, wow, it's... Been awhile."
Lovino nodded, noticing the solemn look on Antonio's usually happy face.
This was a mistake.
"Uh, can I come in?"
Antonio looked behind Lovino, as if he was making sure no one was watching, "sure."
Lovino wanted the dull ache to stop, he wished his heart wasn't so damn heavy.
Lovino wanted to go home,
But, Lovino no longer had one.
"How have you been? Last I heard you were in prison."
Lovino flinched at the bluntness and flatness of Antonio's question, but he answered anyway, "Good behavior."
Antonio nodded, looking down at the coffee table in front of him.
Lovino stared at the light grey walls, all the pictures of Lovino and Antonio long gone. But, pictures of Antonio and a blonde girl were there.
Lovino had a feeling he knew where this was headed.
Lovino clutched his chest, wanting the pain to stop.
He would do anything for it to stop, he wanted to be able to think again, think without going down the new, dark, hole Antonio had created in his mind.
Her name was Bella.
Antonio met her in Spain, she was a Belgian exchange student. They chatted, and Antonio admitted he fell in love with her. He was going to break the news to Lovino when he got back, but Lovino had already been locked up.
Lovino should've known, long distance relationships never work.
It didn't make the pain hurt any less, of course.
"She sounds lovely," Lovino said, voice strained. It was the best he could manage without falling apart.
He would do that later, when he was long gone from this hellish house.
A house that was once his and Antonio's, covered with pictures of another girl.
Lovino should've known, he could never compete with anyone, he was a criminal and a guy. Antonio had expressed wanting children, Bella could give him a loving family.
Even with adoption, Lovino wasn't sure if he could ever do that. Not after his childhood.
Lovino's throat was tight, vision blurry. He wanted to die.
He hadn't felt like this in so long, not since the first year with Sadiq, but now he wanted to just stop existing.
"I... Should go then, huh?"
Lovino moved to get up, but Antonio grabbed his wrist.
"Please stay for awhile, I want to know how you've been doing."
Lovino resisted the urge to snort. Why would Antonio care, he made his feelings pretty clear.
"I've been fucking fantastic, got possessed by a demon a week ago, it was so fun. Also, Hetalia Axis has decided to use me and my criminal pals as Superheroes when the actual guys are gone. And if anything goes wrong, they blame us for it! And, to top it off, I got dumped. Fucking lovely, thanks for asking."
Antonio looked like Lovino had slapped him. His eyes were wide, but full of sorrow and pity.
Lovino didn't need pity, he was the Seer of the Empire, he didn't need this.
Maybe Lovino should've stayed, talked to Antonio.
But, deep down, Lovino couldn't have stayed. He had to go, better to rip off the band aid then slowly peel.
Lovino couldn't afford to take his time getting Antonio away from his heart. It had to be quick.
Lovino was a man with a mission.
"I'll be going, nice seeing you."
Lovino stood up, receiving no protest from Antonio. Just as he was about to leave, Antonio called out to him.
"Run away, run away like you always do, Lovino! Run away from me, your brother, and everyone else that tries to be nice to you! Those walls won't hold forever!"
Lovino turned around, anger burning in the pit of his stomach.
"You have no right to tell me that! You ran away, went to Spain, and fell in love with Bella! I'm sorry I didn't hold you back, asshole!"
Antonio took a few steps towards him, clearly angry. Lovino could count on one hand how many times he had seen Antonio angry.
Two.
The words from their argument rang through Lovino's ears, breaking his heart even more. He wondered if a shattered heart could be glued back together.
Some sick, twisted, side of Lovino hoped it couldn't, he deserved to suffer.
He deserved to suffer for hurting Feliciano, Romulus, and most of all, Antonio.
Lovino was a sorry excuse of a human being.
"You tried to run away from your criminal career, that's what started it! You couldn't come to Spain because you're a criminal, you went to prison, because you're a criminal, you've never felt love, because you're a criminal! You don't deserve that Lovino, but cowards get no rewards!"
Lovino stumbled backwards, each word feeling like a physical blow.
Lovino would rather fight Lilith for eternity than face this.
"Why can't you just let me walk out that door?" The words were pitiful, even to Lovino's ears. Strained and quiet.
Lovino couldn't sink lower.
Antonio looked down, the anger melting from his face. There it was, pity.
"Lovino, why do you choose to suffer like this? Why don't you fix things, I know you could. Why do you make yourself suffer?"
Lovino didn't have an answer. He deserved it? He did too many terrible things to have a normal life? He was absolute scum?
Lovino could've said a dozen things, but he said none. He simply stared at Antonio, feeling tired.
"Why can't you let me walk out this door? Please, we both know it would be for the best."
Antonio glared, "it wouldn't be. It would be the worst. Because, I know you, this will haunt you, I'll haunt you. I just want you to be happy, Lovino."
Lovino didn't say anything, simply turning the knob on the door, and stepping out.
He didn't look back, he couldn't afford to.
He didn't deserve to.
After the initial pain, an odd numbness sets in, one that makes you feel hollow, one that almost makes you regret wishing away the pain.
It reminds you that you've fucked up. It's a constant echo of your sadness that you can never escape.
So, Lovino sat in his cell, existing. Because, in that moment, it was all he could do.
"Lovino, I've decoded your journal."
Lovino looked up, pulling himself from his misery induced coma for a brief moment. Romulus stood in front of him, looking livid. His journal?
Ah yes, that thing. Where he recorded his findings and what he was doing.
That journal contained too many secrets, ones that could tip the balance of the earth.
"The experiment section. They were being written by Dr Cheyenne Nativa, also known as Native America. You just copied them here, right?"
Lovino was no in the mood for Romulus's games, "maybe."
Romulus glared harder, "some of these mention Canada and America, how they were test subjects number #50 and #51. Forty nine other children died previous to this?"
"Maybe."
"It says they were the first successful experiments, and would be the world's greatest weapons."
"Possibly."
"But, in a rage, America killed all the active doctors when his brother was severely injured during a test. A test to unlock his true potential."
"Maybe. And if it was correct, I would tell you America, probably, unlocked his full potential instead."
"Nativa survived though, and continued recording. She mentions that she didn't want to create a vessel for Lucifer, but had no choice. Not only would it upset the balance, but one sibling can't be a meta human and the other a normal human. It's phyically impossible."
"Perhaps."
"So, if Feliciano is a meta human, so are you."
"Romulus, I'm not in the mood for this. And before you ask, I'm not the one pulling the strings. I'm taking orders."
"From who?"
Lovino looked down, "I don't know. An imposter, I guess."
"Why?"
Lovino chuckled darkly, "to protect Antonio."
"Romulus, tread lightly. This man, he's powerful and... Happens to have an obsession with Feliciano and I. Especially Feliciano. That's... All I can say."
Romulus nodded, "I'll take it. I'll make sure Feli is protected."
"Thank you."
Lovino stared forward, Romulus's words still fresh in his mind.
They had his journal, the journal that might as well as had every answer to any question one might ask.
Lovino had been collecting information for years, and it had piled up. Dr. Nativa's experiments, his boss's plans, every super hero broken down, their weaknesses and strengths, how their powers worked, and how Lovino's own worked.
It truly was a master piece.
But, if Romulus had already decoded Dr. Nativa's experiments, Lovino was in trouble.
Lovino could back out of his boss's plans, he didn't have to protect Antonio anymore, but, even though they bad broken up, Lovino still loved Antonio.
Even if he meant nothing to Antonio, he would continue to protect him, because that was what love was.
Lovino could fall, he could spiral into a pit of despair, but he wouldn't. He knew that would get him nowhere.
He had made so much progress in the past month, he wasn't going to lose all of that over Antonio, no matter how much he wanted to.
Lovino had to just move on, and maybe things would work out in the end. And if they didn't, then Lovino didn't try hard enough.
This was out of Lovino's hands, so he just must bear witness to the battle. Because, that's all he could do.
Excerpt from Lovino Romano Vargas's Journal:
"Heaven and Hell Entry #15"
We've learned the truth. The reasons the white feather hasn't worked.
We need a black feather.
Siblings cannot have one meta human and one normal human. Even after they have been born, they most both be human or metas. It's odd, even after birth siblings have a special connection.
I've decided I will conduct the next steps. I will do them, I will be involved in every step.
It will be my children who will undergo our possibly most successful and educated test.
They will use my eggs and infuse them with the feathers. Once the children have grown enough, we will began to work on them, see how far these abilities will go.
Two children, one of Light and one of Darkness.
Lux and Tenebris.
That will be their names.
Do I sound like a proud mother? I am.
Dr. Native America
A/N: See final chapter for Author's note
