Disclaimer: Well I have some strawberry ice cream but no Mentalist. Personally, I'm okay with that...I mean it's not like I can eat the Mentalist. :D

A/N: So the preview had a few people a little confused. I did that on purpose. I have no idea why this chapter ran away with me. It just did. Blame Jane, he didn't want to stop talking.

Nope, this isn't turning into a baby fic, it's strictly all about the marriage but hey, kids have to come up for awkward conversation at one point yeah? Have to keep you guys on your toes...or in this case on the edge of your seats. :D Wouldn't want you to get bored with the story. Now enough rambling, enjoy the new update. Forgive any typos and grammar mistakes, as most of you know I do these really late at night or on very little sleep. Insomnia is a mean mistress that tends to ninja attack your brain.

Pacing was something that Lisbon had been good at since a young age. Generally her brothers had been the cause for the way she'd wear a path into the carpet and although her pacing extended to other people now days, on this particular one it was actually because of her brother. He was the reason she was trekking back and forth in front of her front door, twisting her rings nervously on her finger. She hadn't told any of her brothers about Jane. She hadn't told them she was dating - and technically she wasn't - or that she'd been engaged for three days and she certainly hadn't mentioned marrying someone. In fact as far as any of them knew, Jane was her consultant and nothing else.

She had no idea how she was going to pull this one off, Jonathan was observative enough to notice that she was wearing rings on her left hand. He wasn't dumb, and yet she'd agreed. She was the reason he was coming over in the first place and she didn't have a clue as to how she would handle this one. She didn't want to open the door and leave her brother in shock and probably more than a little angry that something so big had happened and he didn't know about it.

She tried to get back to the task at hand, the table behind her needing organized so the mail piled dangerously high wouldn't topple over and land in the floor but she couldn't concentrate on anything besides the bats beating their wings in her stomach. It was cleaning house day, thankfully meaning that Jane was currently switching laundry around and completely unaware of her nervousness. She'd never been so happy with her dirty clothes before but they were keeping the man with the nose for prying occupied, so she had to admit she was suddenly fond of the weeks worth of laundry.

There was something about her brother finding out this way that just irked her to no end. She didn't want it to be like this. She knew she'd feel sort of betrayed if one of her brothers married without telling her. She'd been invited to Jon's wedding and she knew he would make a big deal about the emerald stone and smooth gold band. She would too if the roles were reversed. For some reason she'd never thought about this before, never thought of how awkward it would be to tell her family. She didn't talk with them much and just hadn't given it a lot of consideration. Now she was making up for lost time, even considering sticking an oven mitt over her hand and mentioning cooking when he showed up.

Nervously glancing at her watch, she noted that it was almost seven o'clock and he'd always been the punctual one. Dropping her frantic gaze to her hand, she lifted it, eyeing the rings and then made her decision. It wasn't easy, it really wasn't fair either but she didn't want him finding out like this. She'd tell him, she would just not now. Gently placing her thumb and forefinger over the bands, she tugged them off slowly.

Twenty-seven days, nine hours and thirty minutes of constantly wearing them - minus water related activities. It felt wrong to take them off for this, felt so weird when her finger was bare with the slight indention of the jewelry. She missed the weight immediately. There were lines, her skin appearing lighter and she prayed her brother wasn't 'that' observant. Jane would notice though, she knew he would and slight panic rose in her chest. She didn't know if he'd understand or not but she forcefully shoved the rings in her pocket just as a knock sounded at the door.

Startled by the sudden noise, she looked around to make sure Jane didn't come. He didn't know of her plans to babysit her niece, didn't know that her brother was on his way and certainly didn't need to know that she'd just taken off her wedding rings so she wouldn't have to explain them to the man on the other side of her door.

When she opened her home to the ones waiting, it struck her rather forcefully that if Jane suddenly appeared out of nowhere - he was too good at that - then she'd still have some awkward explaining to do. She really hoped he stayed put but he'd been in there awhile and generally he was back out in just minutes.

Exchanging smiles with her brother, she ushered him inside and tried to calm her racing heart. It wasn't that she was ashamed of being married to Jane, she was just unsure of how to tell people the truth without sounding like a loon and when she told her brothers, it was going to be the truth. She didn't want to lie to them like she had the team.

A car seat was placed next to the door, bright green eyes slowly opening as the little one began to squirm. This was only the second time seeing the baby, she was six months now and Lisbon couldn't believe how big she'd become. Before she could comment, she was wrapped in a hug and hearing a 'thank you' in her ear. She'd agreed to keep the baby overnight because of the tone Jon had used on the phone. He'd seemed upset and their babysitter had backed out, she was the only other person he trusted.

"You're welcome. What time will you be here tomorrow?"

"Early, probably five or six." Her hand slipped easily into his dark hair that she'd always liked to ruffle playfully, doing so as she stepped away from him and towards the little girl dubbed Jolisa. "There's bottles, food, plenty of diapers. Everything you need. She's a happy baby, easy to please so she shouldn't be much trouble."

"Jon-Jon, I think I can handle it." Working on unbuckling the child trying to chew on her finger, Lisbon realized something extremely important. Something that she should have taken into consideration beforehand. She'd agreed to babysit, she hadn't asked Jane and just as she freed the little one, she thought of how he would react. He generally really loved kids, she'd seen him with the a few but that was during cases. Would this be different? She didn't know how he'd feel about keeping a baby overnight and suddenly she felt like complete ass. It'd probably bring back painful memories for him and she hadn't even thought of that until it was too late.

Lifting her niece, she settled her against her chest and turned back to the familiar face smiling at her. Her brother actually had something in common with her husband. They both had that smile, the one that kept them out of trouble but alerted you to the fact that they were thinking devious thoughts. Rolling her eyes, she rubbed the baby's back and hoped she could pull this off. She wasn't bad with babies, she was fine but she didn't know how Jolisa would be once she realized her daddy was gone and she was stuck in a strange new place with unfamiliar faces.

"You look good with a baby Tess."

"Shut up. Go." Eyes darting around, she pushed him towards the door in hopes to get him out before he realized a man was living with her. She could see Jane's shirt draped over the couch from where she was standing and didn't want him to see it.

"Seriously sis, you do." Ignoring his words, she hid the ache they caused. Maybe if she were younger, if she wasn't a CBI agent and if she hadn't married Jane then maybe she'd consider it but she was too old. Her job was too dangerous and she loved it too much to give it up. Jon barely had time to drop the diaper bag and pack'n'play before she had him out the door. "Nice to see you too."

"Sorry," Feeling more than a little guilty for trying to get rid of him, she pressed her lips to his cheek muttering a soft bye and excuse about being in the middle of cooking. She could see that he didn't believe her, there were no smells of food, no sounds associating with a microwave or stove. It was a terrible lie but it worked for the most part. He shot her a curious stare but waved and let her close the door.

She stared at her niece for a few seconds after the door was closed, expecting her to cry but the little one just stared back, wide eyed and blinking. Relieved by her ability to pull it off, she turned, leaned back against the wall and let out the breath she'd been holding. Not a moment too soon as Jane walked through, laundry basket in hand. He'd been folding their clothes, he stopped short when he saw her - well more like when he saw what was in her arms.

"Well hello there. Uh, you have something you want to say, Mrs. Jane? Don't tell me you have a husband and kids three cities over..."

"Ha ha, this is my niece Jolisa. Jojo. I told my brother I'd watch her for the night." Something passed over Jane's face, his eyes dropping and making Lisbon feel as though she'd done something terribly wrong. She should've been thinking. "Is that okay? If it's not I'm sure he'll understand and come back after her."

"No, it's fine. He was here then?"

"Yeah, just left."

"I would've liked to have met him, that's all." Stunned by the words, it slowly started to sink in. He wasn't upset about the baby staying, he was upset because she hadn't introduced him to a member of her family. When his eyes settled on the dark haired girl, she watched a smile bloom over his face. When he let his gaze travel, the smile disappeared, replaced by something undefinable.

Self consciously rubbing her thumb along her bare finger, she froze. She had been hoping to get the rings back on before Jane had the chance to notice. She gave herself away when she shifted the smiling baby to her hip, the little one clapping her hands together the whole time. He was staring at her hand, obviously noticing that her rings were not where they should be and after what felt like ages, he fixed her with a pointed stare. He looked hurt and he had every right to be.

"You didn't tell your brothers, did you?" She couldn't find the words to make up a lame excuse, he didn't deserve one anyway. Her heart clenched when he shook his head and headed up the stairs. She didn't stop him, simply grabbed the diaper bag from the floor and made her way to the couch. She was an idiot. She should have told him, should have kept the rings on and told her brother that she'd recently gotten married. She could have at least asked Jane if he wanted to meet Jon. She'd been selfish, only thinking of what would be for her benefit.

"Well Jojo, looks like your auntie just screwed up." Apparently the girl decked in pink found it funny, giggling happily and shoving two fingers in her mouth. "I'll give you some advice kiddo, don't be like me. Don't overcomplicate relationships okay?"

A big, mostly toothless grin was her only reply as tiny hands fisted in her shirt. She had no idea why she was giving advice to a six month old baby who definitely wouldn't remember it but it made her feel better to be doing something other than thinking of how she was supposed to make things better with Jane. She didn't know why she was the one to screw things up. She was constantly over complicating things, making them seem more important than they really were and every time, every single time, a step forward was taken in their relationship one of them ruined it.

Fishing her rings out of her pocket, she slid them back into place with a heavy sigh. She'd worry about Jane later, she had to set up a playpen or the little one wouldn't have anywhere to sleep. It was after seven, she knew how this worked. She'd give Jolisa a bottle, make sure she was fed and dry, then put her down.

Searching through the diaper bag, she found a blanket and some toys and hoped they'd keep the baby occupied long enough for her to unpack the the playpen. Spreading the blanket out on the carpet, she laid Jojo on her tummy and set the toys within reach. She watched her for a few seconds, a little skeptical of whether or not she'd stay. It didn't really matter, there wasn't anything she could hurt but Lisbon really didn't want to lose track of her. Satisfied that she was only rocking back and forth on her knees, Lisbon set to work.

It wasn't something that was supposed to take a long time but she wasn't exactly familiar with it. She had to read the directions on the side to figure it out and then she felt even more lost than she'd been to start with. Grumbling quietly, she finally got the thing to stand and was quite pleased with herself.

There was a slamming noise from upstairs, something that sounded like a dresser or perhaps a cabinet. It was followed closely by a curse and Lisbon knew exactly who it was directed at. She was the reason he came stomping back down the stairs with a slightly disgusted look on his face. She ignored him, leaving him in the room with the baby while she went to the kitchen to make a bottle. The motions of preparing it became background movements to her thoughts. Scooping out the powdery formula, she thought of what the morning would bring. Getting the water just right, she thought of how she could clean up the mess she'd made. Shaking the bottle to mix the contents, she realized it'd be best to clear the air.

When she turned back towards the living room, she couldn't help but smile. Jane was holding Jojo, an unguarded happiness present on his features as he let her little hands explore his face. It was a pleasant surprise given his demeanor just moments ago but she liked it. He looked so natural with a little one. It was moments like this that made her wonder about his daughter. She'd always wondered about his family but he never divulged information, nothing big and if it wasn't in the Red John file then she had no clue.

Closing the distance between them, she kept shaking the tweety bird baby bottle in her right hand. Each step brought her closer and tiny ears had already heard the familiar sound of the liquid being swished around. Arms stretched towards her immediately, chubby little fingers wiggling in impatience as she lifted her from Jane's hold. The man in front of her gave her a soft smile, his hand tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. She was confused instantly. He'd just been mad at her, hadn't he?

The intensity burning in his eyes reminded her of the morning he'd woke her by undressing her. She couldn't go down that road, not tonight. Not while she was balancing a baby in one arm and holding a bottle dumbly at her side. His fingers traced down her jaw-line, eyes turning sad as he leaned in. She didn't know what was going on but she stepped away before he could do anything else to confuse her even further.

"Teresa..."

"Patrick, I'm busy." Lisbon gently bounced the baby in her arms, wanting to throw something at the man for messing with her mind. She already had a little one to keep out of things, she didn't need to put up with him as well. She still felt terrible for inadvertantly hurting him, which in turn made her cranky but seriously what was his deal? Was he mad or not? "We'll talk in the morning okay? After Jon comes to get Jojo."

"Am I allowed to be out when he's here or would you rather I hide in our closet?"

"That's not funny."

"It wasn't meant to be." His mood was changing faster than she could handle, coming off as more annoyed now where as two seconds ago he'd been trying to kiss her. She should have let him, probably would have if she didn't feel so bad about keeping her marriage from her brothers. It was easy to see that he was thinking she was ashamed and trying to hide it but she wasn't.

Lifting the bottle up to the baby's lips, she watched the facial expressions of the hungry one who sucked greedily at the nipple. Jane brushed by her, seemingly back to being angry and she said nothing to change that. She let him, too caught up in staring at the child in her arms, the green eyes looking back at her and the small hands resting over her fingers. Little hands with little fingers and little nails.

Overwhelmed by the urge to press her lips to the equally small forehead, Lisbon did just that and pulled back with a smile. She pushed the impending fight with Jane out of the way and let herself revel in the warmth that spread through her chest at watching the mini female version of her brother. Lisbon found it funny how much she'd grown since the first time she ever saw her and yet she still seemed so small. Innocent and happy. The way the world should be, the way she wished it was. Of course nothing could be simple, nothing could be easy and she almost felt like she should apologize to her niece for the world she was being raised in.

Jolting when a much larger, more masculine hand covered hers and Jolisa's, Lisbon snapped her gaze away from the beautiful baby and up to see Jane's eyes trained where hers had just been. She didn't need to have his observation skills to know what he wanted. Without a word - fearing they might end up in a full-blown argument - Lisbon passed him the pink clad baby. The bottle followed and after a few awkward seconds, she chose to get some things done - like the shower she'd been putting off since that morning.

Her body felt numb almost, climbing the stairs as though it came second nature, finding the bathroom without thought and stripping down to nothing before turning on the hot water. The spray of the shower pounding against her muscles relaxed her enough to try and rationalize Jane's moody spells. If he was angry she'd prefer him to just be angry. She didn't like back and forth. The lavender scent of the new body wash she'd bought filled the steamy bathroom and eased her mind into forgetting about the current predicament she'd wandered into.

Fifteen minutes, twenty tops, is all it'd taken to emerge fully clean and smelling a heck of a lot better than she had been before going in. She'd forgotten to grab clothes, but it didn't matter. She went straight for the bedroom, towel wrapped around her torso and grabbed the first clean pair of panties she could find as well as one of Jane's shirts. She was starting to think she wore them more than he did.

Quickly dressing, she headed back to the living room but stopped abruptly before she even made it down the first stair. Jane's soothing voice echoed, the words he was saying catching her attention and making her eavesdrop from her place at the top of the stairs.

"...I mean I love her more than anything but will that ever be enough for her? Look at me, I'm asking someone who can't even answer." Lisbon's heart slammed in her chest, he was talking about her and she couldn't help but feel guilty for the uncertainty spilling from his lips. "I married your auntie out of the blue, kinda expected things to be slow and hard in the beginning. She wouldn't be Lisbon if it were easy and I wouldn't be me."

It struck Lisbon as a little odd that he'd referred to her by her last name. It'd been awhile since he'd done something like that, well besides at work. Generally at home she was always Teresa, when he was teasing she was Mrs. Jane - which she'd never admit she secretly loved hearing - and that one time he'd asked if he could call her Reeses. She hadn't been 'Lisbon' in awhile.

With a few deep breaths, she convinced herself to sit down and listen to what he was saying. Maybe it was rude to do so when he had no idea she was listening but her body did as she told it to and perched itself on the top stair. If she craned her neck, she could see him pacing the floor, baby resting her head on his shoulder and dangerously close to falling asleep on him.

"I don't want her to leave me, I'm....worried that she might. We've been doing this almost a month and there's still so much tension. It's a lot better now, trust me. You should have seen us a few days ago...well no you shouldn't have because you're way too young and it was entirely too private."

Covering her mouth, she stifled her laugh at the cute way he interacted with the baby. The man really was something and she made up her mind in that instant that she'd give him the room he needed for the night but she would make it up to him. She'd prove she hadn't meant any harm on their next day off. She wanted the whole day to show him just how much she cared and that she wasn't going anywhere. It sent a pang through her chest when he mentioned being worried about her leaving him. She had no intentions of doing anything of the sort.

"I'm not mad at her, ya know? Just in case you got the wrong impression." It really warmed her heart to hear him chat with her niece as if she were older, able to understand. It was adorable but his words are what had her interest. He wasn't mad? "Kind of disappointed but I'm sure it'll pass. Her taking off the rings doesn't bother me, it's the fact that she didn't talk to me. She didn't tell me that you were coming or that she didn't want your daddy to know we're married. If she'd told me, explained her reasoning and just been honest then I wouldn't have reacted the way I did."

Resisting the urge to give up her hiding spot and run to apologize to him, she remained seated. She was an idiot, why hadn't she talked it out with him? This was Jane, he'd probably understand that she was just afraid of her brothers' reactions to something so sudden. She just hadn't wanted to deal with questions.

"She's an amazing woman. Who else would've agreed to marry me?" She watched from the shadows as he shifted Jojo around to cradle her, a chuckle escaping his lungs before his voice took on a serious note, coming out low and soft. "I miss this. I had a daughter, energetic beautiful little thing..."

Standing immediately upon hearing the word daughter, Lisbon noisely made her way down the stairs so he'd notice her presence. She couldn't let herself invade his privacy like that, couldn't listen to him talk about his family when he hadn't given her the right. When she learned things about them, she wanted it to be him telling her face to face, not her listening in impolitely.

Just as she knew it would, his words stopped once she made it halfway down, his body turning towards her and his eyes trailing down to take in her attire. She felt the fire between them rise just as it did every time they got too close or stared a little too long. He was watching her as she stepped close, and she was crossing her arms over her chest to hide her lack of a bra, although she knew he had already noticed. Clearing her throat in attempts to reign in her emotions, she stopped directly in front of him. They couldn't play games while he was clearly upset, couldn't tease or tempt, it'd be wrong.

"I think I'm going to sleep on the couch tonight." Her voice wasn't as strong as she'd hoped it would be but the words were out nonetheless and Jane didn't look shocked at all. "So I don't have to get the playpen upstairs."

"I can sleep down here with her."

"No, I agreed to watch her. Besides the couch can't be good for your shoulder." Her eyes flickered to the arm that still had traces of bruising. It was fading and according to Jane it only hurt if he moved it too quickly or in a certain direction but she didn't believe him.

"My shoulder's fine." Rolling her eyes out of annoyance at the word 'fine', she shook her head and let it go. She was sleeping on the couch and that was that. He couldn't change her mind. She gently reached for the sleeping baby girl, her attention focused on the electricity that shot straight down to her toes when Jane's arm brushed hers. Even when they were...whatever it was that they were doing - it wasn't fighting - he still had a powerful effect on her.

Settling Jojo in the playpen, Lisbon draped her blanket over her and let her fingers caress the chubby cheek. She felt the heat of Jane's hand on her lower back, it burned through the fabric of the shirt she was wearing and made her all too aware of the fact that she'd be sleeping alone for the first night in what felt like years.

She let her eyes drift to his face, taking in the worry lines and the light scar on his forehead from the fall. Unable to control the bubbling urge to try and fix things, she turned into him, chest brushing his as she quickly touched her lips to his.

"I'm sorry. I panicked and I'm really sorry."

"S'okay." It was clear as day that it wasn't actually okay but she didn't say anything. She'd let it run it's course just like every other mistake they'd made, every other argument.

They watched the gentle rise and fall of the baby's chest for over an hour, retreating to the couch after the first ten minutes. Somehow they'd gone from sitting a few feet apart to lying down pressed against each other. Lisbon wasn't sure how it'd happened or why either of them had let it considering the mix up they'd had. She wasn't going to complain, she liked having her back to his chest, feeling the warmth of his arm draped over her but she didn't like that he was still pretending things were fine when she knew they weren't. She'd heard him tell Jolisa all about his worries, heard him say that he was disappointed which was a code word for hurt. Everyone knew that.

They hadn't spoken, which is probably why a shiver shook her body when his voice sounded in her ear, husky and low.

"What time's your brother coming?"

"Early, five or six." She didn't mention that she was going to keep her rings on, that she was going to tell him and just hope it all goes well. She'd have to do it eventually although she'd hoped she could put it off for a few more weeks at the least. But she was doing this for Jane, for her husband.

"I'm not mad at you." The jump in topics didn't go unnoticed but she didn't care, knawing on her bottom lips as his hand slipped down her thigh. She didn't think much of it, they tended to push the limits a lot but generally not in a situation such as this. "I'm not and you aren't sleeping alone tonight."

His lips pressed to the back of her neck, his hand riding back up her leg, pulling the fabric of her - his - shirt with it. Bunching up the unwanted cloth just below her breasts, he caressed her stomach making her sigh softly and ease into him even further. She wondered what he was thinking, there was a baby in the room but once his digits stilled, she knew he wouldn't try anything more. He was looking for comfort, reassurance that she'd be there in the morning and it struck her as odd that she'd managed to read him easily.

It helped that she'd eavesdropped enough to get the gist of his feelings on the whole mess she'd accidentally provoked. She'd played into his fear of losing her by taking off those rings and it hadn't struck her until his fingers gently pushed into the skin on her belly that he was actually terrified of the thought. When he'd told her his reason for marrying her, she hadn't realized how scared he actually was of the idea. She'd seen that it bothered him and that he was afraid but she hadn't seen how deep the fear ran. Now she knew.

It had her chest tightening for him, her hand moving to rest over his as he let his fingers trace her navel and she made a vow to herself to think the next time she started to panic about something, to at least consider him in the equation. She hadn't said anything to him, hadn't mentioned that she already knew he wasn't mad because she'd heard his conversation with little Jolisa.

"Teresa?"

"Hm?"

"We're either both going to fall asleep on the couch or we can go upstairs." Tossing ideas around in her head for a few seconds, she came up with one she liked well enough and decided the bed was calling her name.

"Upstairs." It took them a few minutes to move but once they did, Lisbon was carrying a sleeping Jojo while Jane attempted to move the playpen. It seemed to shock him when she told him to leave it and that the baby could just sleep in bed with them. It was easier and Lisbon kind of liked the thought of having Jane and a baby in the bed.

It wasn't until they were actually beneath the covers that she wondered if Jane wanted any more kids. They'd never brought it up, they'd never really brought anything like that up. She wasn't sure the topic was even okay to approach. He was sensitive when it came to his family and she thought he might assume she was asking for children, asking him to replace his daughter but she wasn't. She stood by her views of being too old to carry a baby and her job was too dangerous.

Lying in bed, on her side with Jane behind her and her arm wrapped protectively around her snoozing niece, she let herself pretend they were a happy little family. The legs tangled with her own moved slightly, the chest against her back shifting as well and then the face that'd been pressed into her hair was gone. The feel of warm breath on her ear let her know that he wasn't travelling far. He was just propping himself up on one elbow to stare down at her and the other female Lisbon.

"She's a beautiful baby." His words whispered into her ear, making her body flush with heat. She wasn't used to hearing that sexy husky tone that could melt her into a puddle of gooey liquid.

"Yeah, Jonathan's very proud."

"Do you want kids?" Shocked by his sudden question, she almost laughed at the blunt approach. It was Jane. Of course he'd compliment her brother's daughter and then ask something like that, to him it probably seemed as normal as proposing out of nowhere. She could feel his eyes on her, even through the dark she could tell he was awaiting her reply.

The light from the hall provided them with the ability to be able to make out shapes and see things up close, Lisbon took refuge in that by staring down at the round face, the little nose. Her fingers moved of their own accord, tracing the slope of the baby's nose and settling against her lips. He had to ask such things at such odd times but it gave her an excuse to ask him the same.

"I-I'm not exactly thirty anymore Patrick. My time is up. Besides we haven't even made it to the stage where making a baby is possible."

"That's not what I asked." The warm hand on her hip massaged it's way up her side, settling just below her breast. His knuckles brushing along the underside of the sensitive skin. With a ragged sigh, part from feeling breathless at his touch and the other part from being a little annoyed that he clearly wasn't going to just drop it.

"I have a dangerous job, everyday something could go wrong and I could be dead. I don't want to put my kids through growing up without a mother."

"So you've thought about it." It wasn't a question and she didn't need to answer. "Lame excuse though, everyday something could go wrong no matter what your profession is. That would be like soldiers not having children because they go to war."

"I always thought that maybe someday I'd have kids but I think it all depends on the circumstances and mine just aren't the right ones. My job, the out of town cases, long hours and minimum time off plus it's not just me, I have a husband to consider too." A long kiss landed just below her ear, her eyes closing from the sweet pressure.

"I love that you're thinking of me, I love that right now thoughts of how I'd react to more children are running through your head and I love that you're blushing." It irked her that he knew what she was thinking and how her body was responding to him. "Honestly, I never thought I'd have anymore kids. I'm not sure I can handle it and I know that if Red John were still at large there would be no way but he's not."

Her stomach started twisting at the tone of his voice, it was different. She hadn't ever heard anything quite like it and she didn't know if it was a good thing or not. All she knew was that his lips were tickling her neck and that his hand was stroking down her stomach to rest low, close to a certain area between her thighs. He kept it from going too far and she was grateful, there was a baby sleeping next to them after all.

"I think you're right, all about the circumstances. I'm not thirty anymore either. I just want you to know that if it's what you want then I can do it for you, I want you to be happy." Twisting her head around to meet his eyes in the dark, she noted that his features were serious and unmoving. She didn't know when she'd developed an ability to read some of his emotions but she knew this was another way he was trying to anchor her. He was thinking if he kept her happy, all wishes fulfilled then he wouldn't lose her. "There's options out there if you don't want to risk a pregnancy, like adoption."

"Patrick I'm only going to say this once okay? I'm fine with how things are right now. We're just now getting on our feet with this marriage and that's okay. It's rough, we've had some interesting times but we're alright. I don't need a baby to keep me happy. I'm not going anywhere, I love you." Tilting her chin at an uncomfortable angle, she pressed her lips to his for a quick goodnight kiss. She realized what he was trying to do but she didn't need him to. She was fine without kids, though she did tuck away the bit of information about him being okay with adoption. Maybe one day.

"You'll tell me if you change your mind?" Nodding, she wiggled to get comfortable. Burrowing into the blankets, she snuggled her niece tighter to her chest and didn't complain a bit when Jane held her to him, his warmth pressing into her back. The conversation left her with one new mystery she needed to solve. She understood the fear of losing someone, she'd been terrified when he fell - was still cautious when he was out in the field - but Jane's 'fear' was bordering on hysteria.

a/n: Wow, that was really long. I blame the fact that I wasn't able to update for a few days.

Next: He could feel her pajamas, sweat soaked and sticky against his skin. Her breaths coming out in sharp short pants, eyes scrunching and brow furrowing as a whimper left her lips. Jane tried to pull her closer but she cried out something sounding distinctly like a 'no' while shoving at him. Her eyes never opened, her hair clung to her neck and forehead, her movements becomming more wild and frantic. She was stuck in a nightmare and he had to save her.