Chapter 11

Two weeks have passed since the ambulances and the mountain and Mamoru stood on his balcony drinking a cup of coffee, the chilly wind blowing his hair as his eyes beheld the rising of the sun.

His mind was still uneasy. Usagi was still in the hospital recovering from her near deathly blow to her head from being launched from her car. Surprisingly her injuries were minor but she had awakened from her slumber three days ago and Mamoru couldn't bring himself to see her.

All of his being wanted to try to make her love him again. To let her know that he felt alone without her but his reasonable mind keep telling him that he would only bring her pain again, that she needed someone that wouldn't hurt her.

He closed his eyes , seeing her on the ground that day, in the hospital bed, the tubes and wires, he just couldn't help but think that it was him who had put her in that condition. He was supposed to be watching her…Protecting her….

He walked back into his apartment and pushed the answering machine which had messages from no one other than Motoki…

"Hey Dude, You can't keep putting it off."…Message left yesterday at 2 pm …BEEP…

"Hey Mamoru it's Toki again, I'm going to keep bugging you till you pick up."…Message left yesterday at 6 pm..BEEP …

Mamoru pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration "Motoki thanks buddy but I can't break her heart again.", he sighed letting the machine keep playing

"Hey Mamo, it's Toki, There releasing her today. She got a clean bill of health. She'll be staying with me while I care for her, just wanted to let you know."…Beep, message left Today at 3:45 am

No more messages-

Mamoru checked his watch, it was now 6 am, and then he glanced at the kitchen counter top, which displayed two pieces of papers. He walked over to them. One was the letter from Diamond the other was a flight confirmation. He picked up the letter first and opened it again for the hundredth time

Dear Mamoru

My most beloved cousin, even when we were children you saw in me what I could become and I thank you for that. You are a great person and I know that I have done many shameful things but the most shameful of them is that I let my father hurt our family. Please accept this letter as an apology for all that has ever made you hurt and feel angry towards me or my father, fate has us now and I am ready to come to terms with that…Good bye Mamoru, I know that my actions will make you wonder why I did what I did but even then I am still selfish because I couldn't see myself behind bars for the rest of my life, so I will look down on you and watch over you, like you watched over me when we were younger and I will kiss your mother and father for you….

Mamoru closed his eyes again as the tear stains once again fell from his face. His cousin didn't have to go to such extremes to prove that he was sorry for all that he had done but there was a peace that Diamond had come to terms with his evil deeds and accepted responsibility for them and even now he smiled because he knew that he would see him again

Then Mamoru looked at the next piece of paper and felt bitter confliction in his gut. He was scheduled to go back home in two days and he still hadn't made up his mind. His home in America awaited him and all the luxuries that he had accommodated himself with were there, his real life but it really wasn't his life anymore that he cared about

If he were honest with himself his life was plain, boring, and empty…well at least without her….'just go stupid'…his mind shouted at him but his feet wouldn't move, then his phone rang and he picked it up

"MOTOKI..PLEASE I KNOW IT'S YOU ALREADY!"

Mamoru waited for his response but there was nothing but a light breathing on the other side

"Motoki?" …Mamoru whispered questioningly

"Hello."… her voice was light and barely auditable but she had called him and his voice was stuck in his throat and his heart was racing a thousand beats per minute

"Usa…"… he wanted to call her Usako but decided against it, not wanting to upset her.. "Usagi." He stated plainly

"Yes."

Her answer was short

"Are you with Motoki?"… he wanted to start more conversation

"Not right now but I called because I know about everything."

He took in all the information that was actually meant in that short phrase..

"Motoki told you?"

"Yes and the girls"

"Well, I wanted to explain but I just didn't know how or if you would even want to see me."

Usagi could hear the anguish in his voice and truth be told that she was still bitter about everything and how if she had been told the whole truth, then things would have been different, at least that's the way that she felt.

"Well, I do think that we should talk In person."

"Yeah, we should."…Mamoru looked at the flight confirmation in his hand and grimaced the thought of having to tell her about the decision that was before him

"Met me by the lake at the park, across from Crown Arcade at 2 today."

"Sounds good."

She hung up and he hung up and he was in a nervous wreck.

oooOOOooo

Usagi sat in Motoki's bed and held the phone in her hand. She wanted so many answers from him but she wondered if any were worth asking anymore. She lifted the letter that sat open next to her. It was extremely tear stained but she looked upon it again

Dear usagi,

I don't deserve your kindness to even begin to read this letter but I thank you for doing so. I want to start by saying that I am sorry for all the pain that my life has caused you. I know all the pain that has been inflicted upon you by my father's motives and until recently by your mothers. I can't begin to even try to ask for your forgiveness but I hope that you can try to accept the actions that follow this letter as the sincerity of my words that my father and I will no longer inflict pain in your life and I will make sure of that. I have done many evil deeds in my life but none as evil as the light that was taken from you because you found out the Mamoru was a part of our family. Mamoru knew nothing about what was going on and he truly cares for you and I think that if nothing else this letter provides, I hope that you find resolve in knowing that Mamoru was a pawn in my father's game as were you. He is the only family that I have ever cared about and because he cares for you, I seek better judgment

Diamond

Usagi closed the letter and placed it back into its envelope. She took a deep breath. It was still a long time before she would see Mamoru but she was craving some air, something to take her mind off her nerves, she absolutely NO IDEA what she was going to say to Mamoru. Her feelings were still unclear but she was hoping that once she saw him that it would all make sense

She looked around Motoki's bedroom… "Still a bachelors pad."…Motoki lived in a lofty studio on the streets of Tokyo and he was gone getting some groceries

Usagi felt bored.. "I need something to do."… she saw the table by the entrance of the studio and there they were…. Shiny car keys, her mind pondered the open air through her hair and she rose from the bed, walking toward the table.

"One run before I met him.".. she took the keys and walked out of the studio. She used the keys car alarm to find the car, the head lights blinked indicating what car Motoki had left, he was after all a surgeon but he chose a simply life but not when it came to his cars

She whistled at the car, making a man in the parking lot look at her and she rolled her eyes.. "NOT YOU THE CAR.".. she shouted but the man gave her an insanity stare, usagi shrugged her shoulders "Whatever."

She smiled at her ride, Motoki's black American Lamborghini. She slide in the keys and opened the door. It smelled like fresh new leather.. "Gosh Toki do you even drive this thing?"

Her question was soon answered when she started the car and saw the mileage… 300 miles.. "I guess he doesn't drive this thing. TOO BAD!"… She revved the engine and peeled off, jerking the shifter into gear

It was pure bliss to feel the power under her hand. She sought out solace in the one place that could give her closer…Turn ball mountain… where it all began

She drove with the windows down and loved the air and after what seemed like hours passed she arrived at the mountain and that whole scene played out before her eyes, the start of the race and the crash that left her in a two week comma.

She started up the mountain and reached the top and got out. She walked toward the edge of the mountain top and the breeze whirled her hair around her body, she closed her eyes.. "Daddy I miss you. I want to be with you soo much"… she hugged herself with tears on the edge of her blue eyes… " but I need to let you go because I can't move on until I let myself be free from my pain of your death."

Her statement rang true in her heart and her head. She knew that from this moment on that she was done with Gigi….

She stepped back and removed herself and smiled… "But you have to admit dad… I grew up to be just like you. I'm a great driver… just watch me.."

At that she got back in the car and started down the mountain top, conquering every curve with grace, skill, control, and passion. It was how it felt every time before but the RUSH was missing

She stopped the car after finishing the run but the usually RUSH that ran deep in her veins was gone.

She felt perplexed and the need to feel that RUSH coursing through her was unsettling and so again she flung the car up the mountain and down it again and again… and again…. pushing every turn and redlining every shift but she found herself with the same empty feeling, after the fifth time she was in a rage of sweat and on the brink of tears… "What the hell is wrong with me?"

where was the completion that it left her in?

She signed, closing her eyes trying to remember the last time she felt completed and in that moment she realized why and remembered the last moment of her last Adrenaline rush..

It was in his arms, under the moonlight, looking into his eyes, bare with one another….

Her heart started to pound at the thought and her checks burned with the passion of the night and she laughed out loud like an insane person…. She knew exactly what she wanted to tell him

She rushed toward the park, it was one already.

To be continued…..

I know there isn't much that happens in this chapter but it's coming and I want to keep you guys reading, with the holidays gone I have more time to write and I got a NET BOOK for Christmas, SOOO I can write whenever I want and wherever I want… thanks for all your reviews… the next chapter we will see what happens with MOMMY DEAREST and If Mamoru will go back to America