Splurge
Don't listen to it, keep going.
I ran harder, faster, the forest was dark, but I could kind of sense what was around me.
I was alone. Physically I was at least, I felt like there was someone right on my tail, so close that if I stopped they were right there.
It was myself. Although I didn't understand how I was following myself, it was like a part of me I couldn't control, the part of me that did was necessary for the moment.
I eventually got myself turned back around, and found myself right near our temporary abode. There were lights on inside, I could hear laughter. Naruto-kun and Sasuke-kun were actually happy, not fighting and trying to be dominant over each other
I was making a difference, it felt slow to me, but imagining how it was without me, without someone who helped the two of them connect, it was a massive difference.
Whatever ghosts wanted to haunt me, they could. I knew I was doing a good thing here, interfering the way I could.
"Naruto-kun! Get your butt back over here!" I scowled at the blonde, he was trying to get the other strangers at the beach to give him candy. Shishou told us to take a day to relax, because we all have been training and working as hard as possible with the bridge. Sakura-chan wanted to go swimming, so naturally Naruto-kun also wanted to, and that meant we all were going.
"Naruto-kun, they can't spare candy for you. We have our own food, and since you were annoying them, why don't you go take them this bento?" I had a saccharine smile on my face, because Naruto-kun really needed to learn how to act like, somewhat at least, an adult. Sure he was twelve, but he was a ninja now, and he needed to act like one. He was oblivious to the fact that these people had nothing, and he wanted what they had. Not in a greedy way, but in a way that was just him.
We hadn't been in the village long, I made sure the three of them at least stretched this morning. Sure they didn't have to train, but they had no excuse to be lazy. I tried to tell myself that I was helping them, but I still felt like I was acting like their mother. I really shouldn't have to do that, since now they should be on the same level that I'm on. But leaving them on their own, it sounded horrible to me.
I tried to be happy while we were at the beach, I wasn't in the water with them, they wanted to actually swim around and have fun, I was too tense to even think about letting my guard down. I kept an eye on the street and the bridge from the rock I was sitting on, I knew we should have a few more days but I couldn't help but be nervous. I still wasn't back to my old self, and I wasn't looking forward to a fight. Not right now.
I knew the three of them would be tired when they did finally get out of the water, so I got out one of my scrolls that had food stored in it. I didn't have many sweets in it, they really didn't store in seals well, but I had chocolate, which I would give to them, and I got some jerky for myself. We had only been here a week since everything happened, and I couldn't recall when Zabuza should reappear. I think Kakashi-shishou was going to have me go look for him, but I knew he was hesitant after what happened last time. I would talk to him about it later. We needed to get stuff moving.
I ended up talking to Shishou before we even went back to Tazuna-san's house. Shishou had noticed the civilians in town were getting edgy again, and he wanted me to either track down Zabuza-san, or Gato. He explicitly told me I would not be engaging either of them, but since anything could happen anyway, I needed a way to stay in contact with him. I suggested I make a clone and leave it at the house, and if anything went wrong it would disappear and he would know.
Kakashi-shishou wasn't enthused, but he knew it was better than nothing. I suggested he put his chakra in one of my tracking seals, and that he have a tag that I can detonate from afar, but it would mostly let off smoke. Then he could track me down, and that seemed to be a better idea to him.
I didn't leave until the next morning, I wasn't going to be gone more than half the day. That's what Shishou and I agreed on, and I knew better than to not listen to him after what happened the last time. I didn't go into the forest first, I went into the village and used a camouflage genjutsu to lurk around and find the thugs that worked for Gato. It didn't take long. They stayed in town for maybe an hour, then they went down a trail that weaved through the forest, and I left seals that I could follow to bring Shishou. He didn't want me attacking, he just wanted me to look, be eyes and get back safe. My body was still recovering, and I didn't want to even think about fighting right now.
I wasn't bothering to pay attention to what the idiots were saying, I was making sure there were no ninja nearby, nobody to notice me. I still made my chakra disappear though, because there was a chance Zabuza or Haku would be here, and running into them in my state would be a nightmare.
They walked up to a compound that very obviously looked like a hidden lair, except it wasn't hidden, a random building in the middle of a forest with nothing else around it wasn't conspicuous at all. They thought they were sly, but no they really weren't.
I wasn't sure if I should actually follow them into the building, I could get stuck or lost, maybe being paranoid for once would be helpful. I couldn't sense anything much in the building, but then I realized there were two faint signatures in what might have been a different building. I carefully crept my way towards it, and I made sure my own signature wouldn't be seen. Anticipation was building in the base of my skull, I didn't want to run into the two of them but I had a feeling I would.
I didn't recognize the building, it was more like a tower, but I knew the chakra signatures when I got close enough. I didn't want to go up the tower and look through the window, it made my stomach twist just thinking about it, but I knew I needed to see what state Zabuza was in. But I knew they would likely see me, or sense me, or do some weird ninja shit and know where I was.
I ran up the side of the tower quickly, I still had the genjutsu activated, and I was praying they wouldn't see me. The brief glimpse I got through the window, Zabuza was standing up looking out a window on the other side of the tower, and Haku was doing something with scrolls and herbs. I perched on the top of the tower and sighed. They would probably be in a condition to fight soon, I just hoped team seven was ready for them. I planned on staying in the background, kind of at least, I could even help out Tsunami-san and Inari-kun.
He was actually a very cute child, but he was so full of angst. I hadn't had a chance to talk to him yet, but I knew Naruto-kun did. I shook my head, this wasn't the time to think about this. I need to mark the building, and high tail it out of here.
And I was going to, really. But I heard them talking, the window was open, and the sound of voices made me freeze. When I focused I could actually make out what they were saying.
"We should present ourselves tomorrow Zabuza-san. The ninja team guarding Tazuna-san is growing bored, complacent. They were playing in water like children yesterday. Removing them will be easy. The apprentice of the jounin is still suffering from her injuries and she won't be a problem to get out of the way." Haku's voice was monotone, he really didn't seem like he cared at all about much of anything.
I heard Zabuza sniff, then he started to laugh. "Oh Haku do I have a surprise for you. The mini-kashi is on our roof. I don't think we should hurt her though. We could scare the ever living daylights out of her." his voice became cold, and I could feel his demon chakra, and it made my muscles seize, because the last time I felt it I almost died. I put a marker on the ceiling, and miles away let my clone poof away. They needed to know there would probably be contact. And since my chakra was on tags leading them to where I was.
I stopped concealing my chakra and shunshined into the room below me. I didn't want them to try and attack me, if I could catch them off guard at least a little but, maybe I could just talk. Talking wouldn't be bad. Haku didn't jump, and Zabuza just turned his head to give me a lazy stare.
"All I ask is that the two of you don't attack our client. For all you know the man you are working for isn't going to hold his side of your bargain. You are missing ninja after all, and he is quite greedy with his money." I couldn't hear either of them breathing, but I knew they could hear me. My heartbeat was thumping in every nerve of my body, and all I wanted was to get out of this room, out of this forest, and go hide in Tazuna-san's attic.
"You make an interesting point bo-"
I didn't even let him say his sentence. "Zabuza-san, I'm a girl. I know you and Haku-san are both male, so please use the correct pronouns when talking to, or about me." It was a common mistake, and I was getting rather sick of it. Maybe I would let my hair grow out when I got back to the village after all.
Zabuza was giving me a slightly amused look, maybe he thought he was about to have fun? I didn't want to think about that very hard. They could both step on me like a bug, I mean maybe I could stand a chance against Haku, but not right now, not when I'm still hurt. I was being snarky with them, but that's because I was scared and I do stupid things when I'm scared.
Shishou already knew something was up, and he should be able to follow me here, but he shouldn't barge in before he knew what was going on. I thought that maybe just talking to them could change something, maybe they wouldn't go at us as hard on the bridge, maybe they would turn now, hurt Gato worse now. I didn't know, but I knew I would run as soon as it looked like he wanted to kill me.
Haku walked over to me, I tensed, but it didn't seem like he wanted to hurt me at all. He brushed his hand through my hair and hummed. I knew I was turning red, because no one ever plays with my hair like this. No one ever has.
"You should let your hair grow out. Make your own shadow instead of living in your masters. Be your own person." I felt a shiver go down my spine, because that wasn't the kind of thing someone who wants to kill you would say to you. At all. It made me on edge and I almost couldn't handle it.
Zabuza had a very odd look in his eyes, but then he looked away and watched the forest again. Haku walked over by his side, and I was actually left just behind them, and while I knew I couldn't do anything to them if I tried, they were showing me their backs. Either they really weren't scared of me, or they trusted me. I figured I was just too small of a bug. Since neither of them seemed like they were going to say anything, I shunshined back to the roof, and took off.
I could tell Shishou was on his way, and once he felt my chakra, which I was no longer bothering to hide, he stopped and waited for me. He looked calm, serious, slightly bothered when he saw me. He was crouching on a branch when he saw me, and I stopped next to him.
"They are both in good enough shape to fight. I overheard them say they would attack soon, and Zabuza-san somehow knew I was on the roof. The building they were in isn't far from a compound that I'm assuming is Gato's." I kept my eyes on the ground, my body was still in a state of fear from simply being near them. I knew I was relatively safe, but part of me still felt like I was in danger.
Shishou nodded, turns out he had a plan. "I'm going to check out the building that is nearby is indeed related to Gato. The rest of the team is with Tazuna-san at the bridge. Go meet up with them, you call the shots until I get back. I shouldn't be long." Before I could even say anything, Shishou shot off into the trees. I sighed, because it didn't give me much choice to not go, and for all I knew Zabuza and Haku could be heading out right now because I was there.
When I made it to the bridge, I was surprised to see all three of them helping out with the bridge, not because I didn't expect them to help, but because they were working together as a team very well. I decided to just walk up to Tazuna-san, because he was also just watching the bridge be built, and I didn't want to scare him or startle any of the workers.
I could tell he was proud, he knew his work would help the people he cared about, and I was just glad to be alive at this point. I didn't know if I should tell him that Zabuza and Haku would be coming back soon, but I decided against it because if he looked scared then his workers would see, and they might act odd then too. So I just stood there with him, and watched the bustle. There were enough people working that me helping really wouldn't make a difference, and I was likely to just get in the way.
I was relieved when the end of the day came, no sign of the missing ninja, and I could feel Shishou's chakra in the village. Tazuna-san didn't need to get groceries apparently, it had been done earlier in the day by Sakura-chan. I couldn't tell that anything was wrong, not in the village at least. When Naruto-kun, Sasuke-kun, Sakura-chan, Tazuna-san and I finally left the bridge, Kakashi-shishou dropped down from a roof and walked with us back to the house.
Dinner was uneventful, Shishou didn't enclose the information I gave him today to the team, so I stayed quiet and didn't mention anything. Inari was quiet as usual while we all ate, and he kept giving us dirty looks, he didn't like that we were here, possibly bringing them more trouble. I went outside to stretch, and he actually seemed to be following me. I couldn't really tell, at least at first. When it got dark and I realized he was still there, I knew he was probably thinking up things to say, to try and convince me that being a ninja wasn't worth it.
I was mid stretch, and I appeared behind him. He turned suddenly, he didn't expect me to engage him in conversation I guess. I reached into my pocket and pulled out a bar of chocolate. Sure he didn't like me, but all kids liked candy right? If he didn't like this I was sure I had something in one of my scrolls he would like. Beef jerky, dried fruit, even some other types of chocolate, but I was reluctant to give that away.
"My team won't let anything else bad happen to your family. I know Naruto-kun is a bit of an idiot, but he means well. So does Sasuke-kun, and I'm sure you know Sakura-chan cares. I can be cold, but I just care about those I love. I've seen horrible things, worse than you can imagine, and even Naruto-kun has had to go through hell for things he can't even be blamed for." I broke off a piece of chocolate and handed it to him. "I know you have been through alot, and I can promise you that so long as my team is here, you will be safe. Tomorrow might be a rough day. Naruto-kun is going to stay with you and Tsunami-san until she knows what groceries are needed, and he will let Sakura-chan know with a clone, and after she gets the food they will switch out."
Inari-san looked confused, he didn't see how that could be a bad day, so I kept explaining. "There is a high chance there could be a fight tomorrow. Naruto-kun will be here in case anything here happens, and if anything does happen, you and Tsunami-san are supposed to go with him to the bridge, or at least somewhere safe where you can figure out what's going on. Now, I need to get some rest, and you should too." Before he could even argue, I picked him up and put him on my shoulders.
I knew he had never had siblings, and this was something he probably did with the man that was a father to him, who Gato killed, and I wanted Inari to know he can trust us. I put him down before when we got to the front door, and he actually seemed to somewhat happily run up the stairs to his room.
I walked into the bedroom I share with Shishou, and I was surprised to see Naruto-kun sitting on the edge of the futon that was in there. I saw the look on his face, the expression on Shishou's, and I knew what had happened. Shishou told Naruto-kun, I wasn't here for him and I knew he was starting to have a meltdown, and I wanted to do everything in my power to make it not as bad as I could tell it was going to be. I sat next to him on the futon, I leaned my head on his shoulder and gave him a hug.
"Naruto-kun, I want you to know that I've known the truth about you the entire time I've known you. And guess what? You are still one of the few people I really care about. You are nicer than anyone I know, and you try harder than anyone I know. No one else has to know that you don't want to have know-" I suddenly had an elbow jabbing my side, I easily ducked underneath him, but I was still caught off guard.
"No! Mirai you don't get it! I'm a monster! There is something inside me that can hurt you and Sasuke-baa and Sakura-chan and what if I can't control it? I mean, the village hates me because of it, but I know people can still love me because you and Sasuke-kun do- and-" He started sobbing, he covered his face with his hands, he really wasn't a pretty crier, but I had seen him cry a few times so I wasn't surprised.
I pulled him into a hug, and I finally got to voice something that has been in my head for a long time. "Naruto-kun, you should know that if either of us is a monster, its me. I've killed people, I've done things I don't even want to think about. On my first mission I killed someone, I didn't even think about it, I just let the other me take over, the one that can survive, and then I was alive. But just because I'm a monster, doesn't mean I can't try to atone for it by helping people. The person I killed? He was a rogue ninja. He could have killed you or Sasuke-kun, he could have killed an entire village with his partner, but I stopped him with Kakashi-shishou. It's why I have nightmares, why I don't always sleep well at night and spend a lot of time training instead."
He didn't actually answer me, but he pulled me closer into a real hug, so I figured he understood what I meant. I knew he would need to be told, and the fact that he wasn't reminded me that since he didn't know, Mizuki still existed, he was still a problem, and I hadn't realized he was. So much was different now that I existed, I didn't know how to fix everything. I needed to learn.
Naruto-kun didn't get up with the rest of us, and like I guessed we went to the bridge with Tazuna-san without him. Sakura-chan and Sasuke-kun were both oblivious that anything would end up happening, but Kakashi-shishou and I were both on edge. I wasn't surprised that we got to the bridge first, but it was misty and cold. It had been warm and nice in the mornings up to know, and the air itself was actually soaked with chakra.
I knew who it was before we even got there, his chakra was so distinct and it made my hair stand on end being near it. I hadn't gotten much sleep the night before, my nightmares had been getting worse the past couple of weeks, because danger followed us around as it was, not to include everything I already knew was going to happen.
The mist was so thick I was having an impossible time sensing anything in it, but Tazuna-san was oblivious and walked into it without a thought, rambling on about what structure of the bridge they would be working on today. I didn't know if we needed to be super close to him, or far enough away that we could attack, or what, and I could feel my chest tighten, because I was terrified, and I was weak. I wouldn't stand a chance if he attacked me first, and he already knew that.
Sakura-chan was right next to Tazuna-san when I felt the flicker of chakra, it was faint and then it was massive, I was behind Tazuna-san and Kakashi-shishou was in front of me. Sasuke-kun was near him, and Zabuza-san and Haku were standing a little ways in front of us. My chest started hurting even more, it was the chakra in the air, it felt like it was reaching into my lungs and crushing them.
"Ah, Kakashi-san, nice to see you. I would take better care of your pet, she seems like she is going to keel over any second now." I couldn't see his eyes, but I knew he was staring at me and just the weight of his gaze made it harder to breathe than it already was. I knew I wasn't trembling, I knew what was happening and I was trying not to give in. There was another part of me, the one that would do anything possible to survive, and if she took over, it took over, I didn't know who I would end up hurting.
I heard Kakashi-shishou hum, he was putting on a front that everything was fine and he could handle it, but I could feel the slight vibrations in his chakra that proved he was worried, he knew I could easily lose it, he saw me do it a few times when I was stuck in a corner. "Sasuke-kun, why don't you prove to Haku how strong the newest Konoha genin are?" I heard my brother grunt, I saw him move forward and I could hear them clashing kunai and senbon, but my eyes were glued on Zabuza. I knew Sasuke-kun would make it, I knew Naruto-kun would show up and help him, I didn't even need to be here and my team would survive. My being here could cause it all to crumble.
I could tell that Kakashi-shishou wanted to keep his ground, he was between Zabuza and our client, and he knew I wouldn't be able to hold off Zabuza if he went after him and Zabuza went for Tazuna. "Shishou do you want me to-" Shishou cut me off with a hiss, and I saw him giving me hand signals. He wanted me to try and charge Zabuza, get him away from the bridge so they can actually fight.
I grunted, and I took out both of my swords as I ran forward, but as fast I moved towards him, Zabuza was behind me with the Executioner's Blade at my neck. It was so close to cutting me that if I even swallowed it would cut me. But boy was I glad when Zabuza was suddenly holding his sword against a puddle that collapsed on the ground. I was actually behind him, sharingan active, and him turning around to find me gave me the opening I needed to put him under a genjutsu I didn't dare use on Shishou.
He froze, his body was still holding him up, and in the few seconds he was out I put all the force I could into a kick, he might not go flying but he could at least get away from the bridge. He really didn't go far at all before he was on his feet again and shouting a stream of curses at me and Kakashi-shishou.
"I don't know what you leaf nin think it right to teach your genin, but even that was a bit twisted you fucks!" I could feel his killer intent in the air, but it didn't make me cower, it made even more anger well up in my chest, because I wasn't strong enough to take him out myself, and I had to rely on Kakashi-shishou to beat him.
Zabuza and Shishou squared off out of my ear shot, I was between them and Tazuna-san and Sakura-chan. I wasn't sure what to do or where to back anyone up, and I must have been frozen for several minutes before I took off towards Sasuke-kun. I could feel his chakra starting to putter, and if Haku does actually hurt him, his death is going to be more painful than anything I've gone through.
I had barely moved however, and Naruto-kun made his entrance. He didn't have a huge speech like he did before, I made sure he knew to at least try and be stealthy, but when he poofed in there was smoke everywhere, and it made it even harder for me to see. I could hear him yelling, then I heard Haku talking, but I was having a hard time staying there. By staying there I mean actually paying attention to what was going on. My head was throbbing, I had activated my sharingan when I put Zabuza-san under the genjutsu, and I couldn't redirect the chakra, it wouldn't turn off.
My face felt wet at sticky, and I didn't feel my hand when I reached up to touch it. I could see the red on my hands, feel it even, but my face was numb and it was getting even harder to think. It suddenly felt like my feet weren't under me, and I realized I was on my knees on the ground. I reached behind me, I could feel something jabbing me in my back. I turned my head, and I was surprised to see Gato and his men on the other end of the bridge. One of them must have thrown something, or maybe it had happened earlier in the fight?
I pulled it out, at least I tried to. I could feel myself slipping even more, and as my vision went black I felt Sasuke-kun's chakra flare up, along with more screaming and yelling, from both sides, and then I was gone.
Kakashi kept Zabuza away from the bridge, at least as much as he could until Naruto appeared. Mirai had run off to help Sasuke, so Zabuza was able to try and get close to Tazuna to kill him. Kakashi didn't let him of course, he shunshined in the way and blocked his sword wit h a kunai.
Kakashi could hear Haku telling Naruto about his childhood, but it gets interrupted by Sakura yelling that Gato and his men had hurt Mirai. In that instant both Naruto and Sasuke forgot about Haku, because the client was being protected by Sakura and Kakashi, but their sister was in danger, and they both went to attack Gato and his men.
Zabuza actually ran after them, he didn't want them to kill the man with his money, not before he was paid.
"Stupid ninja, only doing missions for profit. You are all disposable, look at you Zabuza, supposed demon of the mist, can't even beat a few Konoha genin. I'm sure my men can't get rid of you too, they already took care of the white haired brat-" Before Zabuza even had a chance to say anything, Sasuke interrupted Gato.
"YOU BASTARD! SHE IS THE ONLY OTHER REAL FAMILY I HAVE, YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST GET RID OF HER?!" There was suddenly a kunai in his hand, and he was running forward, shortly followed by Naruto, whose pupils had turned red, and also Zabuza who was cackling, because the men didn't stand a chance, not when they had a vengeful Uchiha, a pissed off Jinchuriki and a demon of the mist against them at the same time.
This left Sakura, Kakashi, Haku, and Tazuna all standing behind them, gaping at the fight. It had taken less than a minute for everything to get turn around, and they were no longer enemies. Sakura could tell the fight between them was over, and ran to check on Mirai. It seemed to shake the other three out of their stupor, because they quickly followed.
Since Haku was very good at helping Zabuza get better from near death, he did a quick scan of Mirai, her head- since the blood obviously came out of her eyes, and also her spinal cord, because a kunai was still lodged in it. It wasn't in deep, but it was deep enough to hit the nerves that caused her to pass out. The blood coming out of her eyes was because of her last fight, there was some sort of concussion, Haku wasn't able to heal much, but he did what he could.
"All she wanted was to keep her family safe, and I think it's safe to say she is what brings them together." Haku was genuinely concerned about the girl, she was only getting stronger because she felt her purpose was to keep her brothers safe. He looked at Kakashi. "You need to make her take a break. Her family is able to protect itself now, she needs to get better and she needs to become her own person. You are an admirable idol, but she needs to maintain her emotions. I believe it is safe to say that Zabuza-sama and I will be finding a safe quiet place to settle down, and we will not bother with these tedious missions."
There wasn't much anyone could say to that, shortly afterwards Zabuza walked over to Haku, who had moved to the edge of the bridge. They deliberated for a moment, and the two took off. Kakashi could only sigh, because now there were dead bodies, a dead Gato, and an injured Mirai. Along with two pissed off genin who just went all out for their family. This would be a long couple of days.
Kakashi cleared the bodies from the bridge, cleaned it of blood even, and let the boys sit with their sister at Tazuna's house. Tazuna wasn't in much danger now, but work had to be called off for the day so Kakashi could get rid of the bodies. The boys both knew Mirai would be okay, but Kakashi was going to summon his nin dogs to take her to Konoha, she needed medical treatment as soon as possible, and until the bridge was built they couldn't leave Tazuna, as per the mission.
When Kakashi did make it back, he was surprised to see both of them sitting near Mirai while she slept. She looked like she was in pain, but there was nothing any of them could do for her. She would make it to Konoha probably by the next day, and hopefully there wouldn't be any lasting damage.
Sasuke and Naruto were both sad to see her leave on the back of a giant dog, but Kakashi tried to convince them she would want the two of them to train, to get stronger for her. Sasuke looked resentful for a moment when Kakashi said that, like he thought it was stupid his sister had to be strong enough to protect him, but Kakashi didn't say anything.
He should have.
The dog that took Mirai back to Konoha was afraid his speed would be too much for her, but she seemed to get upset if he slowed down, like she knew she needed help, even though there was no way she could know what was going on. There were a few times Mirai started to mumble, something about not giving in, doing what's right. Then she would grunt, grimace, and go back under.
My mind palace wasn't mine anymore, it was all backwards colors, the sky was the ground, and the ground felt like an ocean. My stomach felt like I should be puking, but I knew I wasn't moving, and I kept trying to gain my footing, which just made me fall more. Eventually when I let myself fall, into the ocean that changed from yellow to green to red, the world stopped spinning and I finally landed on something that didn't shake or wave, and I could smell something that was clean, no longer a forest.
I didn't know where I was, or if I was awake or dreaming, even if I was really me, and just like that it was like I was looking in a mirror, but instead of me there was a girl who had dark eyes with red rimming the iris, and nothing but pain in her eyes. Behind her, or me if it was a mirror, I could see the events of the too soon to be future, but it wasn't like I remembered it, I saw myself fighting someone with silver hair on a training ground in Konoha, then I saw me standing in a room with genin who were taking a test, and then it all started to swirl.
My head was swimming, and I was looking into the eyes of the girl who looked like me, but seemed more determined to live, more determined to do what was needed to stay alive, to keep my brother safe. She reached forward, or I reached forward, and there was a hand gripping the front of my shirt, and just like that there were two of me, falling through a sky that was actually sky, and landing in a room that resembled my mind palace, but half of the room wasn't right, wrong colors and I could feel the mood from it- it was all wrong.
I looked at the other me, and she tilted her head, I don't know why I didn't expect her, me, to talk, but she did, and I thought my ears might explode, because I knew it was my voice but I wasn't the one talking, but at the same time I was.
"It's up to us I guess isn't it?"
