follow . me
{everyone around here seems to be going
down, down, down}
til . we . can . reach . that . bright . place
"Look, Yagyuu-san, I'm sorry about what happened. No. No. No. Yagyuu-san, I really appreciate you taking me home, but I'm sorry for the way I acted. Ugh. Why won't this come out right?"
Akahana stood in front of the mirror in her bathroom and practiced apologizing for the hundredth time. She glanced up and looked at herself in the mirror. When had she become this type of person?
"Am I seriously doing this? Talking to a mirror?" she asked out loud, slamming her hands against the sink before walking into her bedroom.
Akahana threw herself onto her bed and lay in a crumpled heap. She reached out and took the Rikkai Dai yearbook from her senior year in middle school that lay open on her carpet. Recently she had been staring at it a lot more than necessary. It was strange to see pictures of everyone back when they were still a team in middle school. Even some of the boys looked different now even though they practically looked like high schoolers already in their third year.
The book felt heavier in her hands that night, and as usual she flipped to the club section of the yearbook and stared at the picture of the girls tennis team. It was on the page right behind the boys'. She flipped back and forth between the two, comparing who they were to their present selves. Akahana sighed, and put the book on the ground again.
Despite all of the things that she had done and how much she changed, when it came to tennis or even anything to do with the boys, she still felt like the small Akahana that she was when she was in middle school.
Akahana wiggled her toes and stared at the ceiling for a minute before grabbing her phone and pressing it to her ear.
"Hello?" said the voice on the other end.
"Kagamiiiiiiii," Akahana whined, "I'm feeling all bad again."
.
"So that's the budget for our fiscal year," said Naito Keisuke.
Fiscal year? Doesn't he mean school year? Michiru sat in one of the desks that formed a circle in the student council room, listening to the events planned for the next year as well as the budget they had.
Michiru sighed and placed her head delicately on her hand. For some reason she just couldn't figure Yagyuu Hiroshi out. Was it his glasses that hid all forms of expression? Or was he just really like that in real life? She glanced at him, but he was too busy looking down at his papers to notice her. As usual his expression was blank, and Michiru wanted to find out what was underneath his calm exterior.
But really what she wanted to know was why the hell he asked about Akahana when he never spared a second glance at any of the girls when they went to middle school together.
"I think the budget you've put together is acceptable for this year," Yagyuu said, finally looking up from the papers in his hands.
"Thank you, Yagyuu-san," Keisuke said. His face was nothing other than pleasant, but he seemed a little miffed at Yagyuu for not saying anything else about his budget report.
Michiru had really gotten accustomed to the student council meetings over the past two weeks that she had attended, but she was just getting . . . bored. Although the student council mainly dealt with the other school clubs and their budgets, it also was the core in planning school events. However, with the tennis team training harder than ever, most school functions were pushed towards the end of the year when the national tournament was over.
Speaking of tennis, Michiru had already rejoined the tennis team and trained with them for the past two weeks, but things weren't going as she had wished.
Short version: she sucked at tennis.
A few years off and BAM, the realization hit her like a ton of bricks. She was no longer the tennis player than everyone had looked up to. She was no longer the tennis player that beat dozens of other girls. She was just some has-been.
Honestly, it was embarrassing. Sometimes Michiru would just get so humiliated going to practice. Seeing her old teammates was nice and all, but they had completely different training, and most of the time Michiru was working with the girls who weren't regulars. Worst of all though were the times when the other regulars would look at her and just expect her to be as good as her friends. Akahana, Kagami, and Ryouko seemed to jump back into the tennis scene no problem. Although it probably helped that they didn't quit playing tennis even after they transferred schools.
Whenever she failed to live up to the expectations of the other regulars, they would get these wide smirks on their faces that reminded her of Niou. Ugh.
No matter what her friends said to her, she just wasn't good enough, and the other members on the team knew that.
And it was almost made worse because every day Michiru would go to her student council meetings and see Yagyuu, who was just a genius in tennis. Or so she would like to think of him. She admired how he was able to juggle so many responsibilities. Although she did wish that he was easier to read. Seriously, it's easier to know what a block of cheese is thinking than what Yagyuu is thinking.
After Yagyuu adjourned the meeting he quickly turned to Michiru and gave her a look that she couldn't decipher. Michiru raised her eyebrows comically in response and smiled when he gave an audible sigh.
"Was there something you wanted to say?" Yagyuu asked.
"Me? No, not particularly. Unless . . . you know."
"I know what?"
"You know. Whatever it is that you want to say or ask or mention about Akahana!" With that Michiru smiled at Yagyuu knowingly and patted him on the shoulder. "Sorry to say, but, she's really not your type, you know."
"How do you know what my type is?" Yagyuu asked.
"I don't know, I just get a feeling about what your type is, and you're such a 'gentleman' or whatever, and honestly I just can't envision the two of you together. Especially since you're so proper and she's kind of . . . not."
Yagyuu sighed again, pushing up his glasses with his middle and ring fingers before saying, "I wasn't going to ask about her."
"But you wanted to. Admit it," Michiru teased. She couldn't remember ever having this much fun talking to one of the regulars from the boys team.
Sometimes she couldn't believe that she was teasing Yagyuu Hiroshi. He was always so intimidating back in middle school with his glasses covering his eyes and his expressionless face. Most of the time she would think that the most interesting thing about Yagyuu was that he had a crazy doubles partner named Niou.
Michiru definitely didn't think she would ever be in a sort of friendly situation with the gentleman, but then again Michiru never thought that she would be so intimidated by such a person as Yukimura who looked rather gentle.
"Hey, Yagyuu-san?" Michiru's voice came out a lot smaller than it ever had when she talked to him.
"Yes?" He stared at her, or she thought he was staring at her anyways. It always was hard to tell because of his glasses, and that had always really, really annoyed her.
"You know, if you like her, you can tell me. I won't tell anyone, I swear."
.
Every time Ryouko saw Shiori, she looked a little different. On that particular Thursday Shiori had a smile plastered to her face as she walked into class. Her lips were so thin and stretched over her teeth that they almost looked drawn on, and usually they were a soft pink color, but that day they were thin and white and strange.
The really weird thing though was that even though it was obvious that Shiori had put on just enough weight to look like a still rather thin but more normal person, her coloring suggested that she was somehow still really sick.
"Hey, Shiori-chan," Ryouko said as the girl sat down.
"Hey." Shiori still had that fake smile on her face when she looked at Ryouko.
Ryoko noticed how Shiori refused to look at the silver haired boy sitting at Ryouko's back and how quickly she turned away.
It didn't take a genius to figure out that Shiori was avoiding everyone, everyone who really knew her. Even Ryouko had noticed the way Shiori had started to skirt around her old friends whenever she saw them in the hall. Shiori had never really talked to the boys either, but recently she hadn't even been looking at them. With all of this avoiding, Ryouko had to wonder, did Shiori even have any friends?
Apparently not though. As Ryouko was walking down the hall with Asa, the second year regular, during lunch, she saw Shiori sitting outside alone on a patch of grass and clover.
"Do you know if she's always alone like that?" Ryouko asked.
"Um, yeah, I think so actually," Asa replied. The sight of their former captain was enough to put bubbly, sweet Asa in a somber mood.
And then Ryouko felt bad. Not just about not doing anything to help Shiori, but also because she had been selfish these past couple of weeks. With the return of Michiru to the team, Ryouko had been focusing solely on her third year friends while poor Asa who had always been there for everyone during middle school and even now during high school was left out of the loop.
"I've never said thank you," Ryouko said suddenly, turning towards the smaller girl.
Asa glanced up in surprise before a smile started to spread across her face. "What for, senpai?"
"You really held Etsumi together when we all left. So . . . thank you. She's still kind of a mess sometimes, but she would be a lot worse if you had decided to leave like the rest of us."
"Rikkai has always been the place for me."
Asa gave her another smile before patting her arm. When did Asa grow so much? And since when did a senpai need to be comforted by her kohai?
Ryouko laughed and threw her arm around Asa's shoulders. Maybe later she would do something about Shiori, but right now she wasn't quite ready yet.
.
We're on the road to being normal again. Just think about that. Etsumi collapsed onto her bed after coming home from tennis practice. Her body ached and she just needed . . . well she didn't exactly know what she needed, but she wanted things to be normal again.
A few times since Shiori came back to school, Etsumi tried to talk to her, but Shiori just kept averting her now.
Etsumi flopped onto her back and stared at her immaculate room. People would have no idea that a teenager even lived in this room.
But God she hated her room.
It was too clean. Too perfect. But it was just how her parents liked it.
And sometimes Etsumi wished that she could just talk to her parents about how she was feeling, but she never saw them when she got home from school.
The clock in her living room chimed six. It would be another two hours before her dad got home from the law office and who even knew anymore when her mom would get back from her job at the hospital. And even though her parents provided her with everything, she just wanted them to quit their high profile jobs and just be home every once in a while. Etsumi was sure that they could be filed under the category of "absentee parents".
Etsumi's phone beeped and she hoped that it was her mom, but when she looked at her screen, it was just a text from Akahana.
Hey, can we meet? I really need somebody right now.
And it was that message that got Etsumi snatching her jacket from her perfectly organized closet and stumbling out the door without locking it.
Akahana had never needed someone else to pick up her pieces. Akahana had never needed anybody to come help her. Akahana never needed anybody because she was exuberant and vigorous and dazzling.
But from the rumors that Etsumi heard, Akahana could also be very needy.
When she got to the park where they had always met before, Akahana was standing at the top of the slide, looking down at the world with her pink hair blowing in the autumn wind. And once again she looked exuberant and vigorous and dazzling, but not at the same time because her face seemed withdrawn and unhappy for once.
Once Akahana saw Etsumi she slid down the slide and offered her a can of soda.
"What's wrong?" Etsumi asked.
"Everything's wrong." And even when Akahana said that, there was still a smile on her face.
"Akahana, if you don't tell me, I won't be able to help you." Etsumi tried to speak slowly and calmly even though she was frightened. She was scared that they would all leave again, that being at Rikkai was just too much pressure like it was all those years ago.
"Even when we're almost all together it feels like we're falling apart sometimes," Akahana said. "Sometimes I'm afraid to look at the boys and see what they think of us, and other times I just want to talk to them because they don't seem too bad. Is that wrong of me? Kagami says that I shouldn't want to talk to them, that they'll just make us feel weak. Is that true?"
"Oh Akahana, of course that's not true." Although sometimes Etsumi could feel the crushing weight of the expectations put on her as captain, and sometimes she did feel weak in the eyes of the boys. Mostly Yukimura and his perfection, which she used to think was nothing compared to Shiori, but that was back then.
"I just always feel the need to go out and do something, you know?" Akahana said. "I just can't stand to sit at home or sit in class because seeing them makes me feel all jittery and I don't want to sit still."
"No one ever said you had to sit still."
"That's not what I'm saying," she huffed. "I'm saying I want to be a great tennis player, and I want our team to be back together, and I want for us to be normal again, and I want for Shiori to be better again, and I want for us to show the boys that we're strong because we are even though we don't feel like it all of the time."
Akahana's words mingled in the air between the two and Etsumi couldn't tell if she was feeling worried or relieved. She felt worried because Akahana was always all smiles and never any frowns, but she felt relieved because it wasn't just her that wanted the team to be back together. Akahana wanted it too.
"So are we friends again?" Etsumi asked. The words slipped out of her mouth and she could see Akahana's always there smile disappear.
"I thought we were friends now," Akahana said, her eyebrows pushed together in bewilderment.
"Yes and no. We talk at practice and we're friendly, but we never hang out or talk in other places."
"Oh."
"Oh."
"I'm sorry, Etsumi. Or should I say Etsumi-san or Mori-san since we're not really friends?"
"Don't be ridiculous. You can still call me Etsumi."
"I'm really sorry for just leaving you behind like that. Things just went to crap after Shiori left, you know?"
"I know, I was there."
A silence stretched between the two for a couple of minutes. Akahana stood her ground, but she fidgeted with the toes of her boots.
God, for once Etsumi wanted to seem strong too instead of just the girl who was left behind. So she smiled at Akahana and hugged her tightly.
"It's okay now. We're friends again, and things are going to get better," Etsumi said.
Akahana hugged her back and for a minute she seemed to be crying, but when she pulled back her eyes were clear and dry.
"And thank you for always being such a good friends, even when I'm such a crap friend," Akahana laughed.
Almost everything seemed okay again to Etsumi.
"How's Kagami?" Etsumi asked.
Akahana's face became tight again. "She's coping. She's always been the rock in my wild life."
"Then what's wrong?"
"She just doesn't approve of how I party or how I talk to the boys sometimes or even how I get sad about things, even though she's the one who won't let go of the past."
"Hey, it's going to be okay."
"I know. It's already better since we're all going to Rikkai together again." Akahana snapped out of her grim mood and once again smiled at Etsumi for what seemed like the hundredth time.
A/N: Hey guys, I know it's been a while. Sorry for such a heavy chapter. At least it feels heavy to me. I've been trying to incorporate more of the characters into the fic.
How would you guys feel, if there was just an entire chapter dedicated to Shiori/Yukimura though? I've been thinking about it and I might write it soon. It might be after the next chapter, or it might even be the next chapter. IDK! We'll see. Let me know what you think. Also let me know if you guys want single chapters on one of the other characters as well such as Akahana or something.
Review please! They are so much appreciated.
I don't own the song "Lucky Ones" by Lana Del Rey.
