The man removed the ceiling panel leading to the attic crawlspace in the hastily constructed, newly-built house. With expert aim, the man dropped the end of a thread into the open mouth of his snoring target below. As silently as the flapping of a butterfly's wings, the man uncapped a bottle of poison and sent several drops of it sliding down the string into his target's mouth. As the first drop of the deadliest poison in the world entered the mouth of the small blond boy, a tidal wave went crashing through the attic and washed the man out the window where he was impaled on a Kama.

As the man struggled to breathe, he heard an ancient voice which reminded him of that of his elderly grandmother who had taught him his art say "Seriously, the poison on the string trick? That one's so old that it was out of style in my grandfather's day."

"And you let him do it." a man who looked as if he'd stepped from the pages of a history book said as he moved into view, his face as impassive as the stone on which an image of it had been carved.

"It's the boy's own fault for not waking up and preventing it!" the elderly owner of the Kama said. "Besides, he survived. Otherwise, he wouldn't be here."

The last thing the man saw and heard was a small sodden blond figure squelching its way out of the house and saying "Will you two stop fighting?! I'm trying to sleep! And, why does my mouth taste like oatmeal?"


The Hokage smiled as he wrote out the order for a C-Rank, knowing exactly which team to give it to. While such inexperienced Genin teams usually underwent at least one D-Rank mission before undertaking a C-Rank, getting them out of town would help ease tensions in the village which was still cleaning up after the violently rapid creation of Lake Uzumaki. And, besides, thanks to all of the teams that had passed, there were more Genin than D-Ranks this year.

What better way for this team which hadn't had a meeting since their disastrous first one to get to know each-other and form a cohesive team than out on the road while Naruto's new home in the woods was yet again being rebuilt. Sure, that old drunkard Tazuna was obviously trying to pull the wool over their eyes in regards to the expense of the mission, but what customer didn't. Knowing the usual mess, it was probably a top-tier C that he was trying to downgrade to a low-tier, Genin could take care of it without the help of a Jounin C. It wasn't like he would be stupid enough to misrepresent the mission entirely and try to get away with paying C-Rank rates for an B or A ranked mission, considering what happened to customers who did.

Two hours later, a small crowd turned up in the office.

"Team Kakashi reporting as ordered." Kakashi rather unnecessarily stated from his spot near the back of the group, directly behind a pair of decidedly shell-shocked Genin who were trying to keep as far away from their third teammate and his companions as was possible while properly standing in formation. The third teammate, who had been released from T&I after it had been determined that he was in fact loyal to the village despite the fact that he'd nearly leveled it, seemed happy to be there in his office, and happy to see him. Tobirama and Madara looked decidedly bored, when they weren't glaring daggers at each-other that was.

Naruto's release from the T&I department hadn't come too soon, since Tobirama and Madara - who was still capable of fighting despite his advanced age - had nearly leveled the department's headquarters during a spat over something or other involving said boy. In fact, the two men probably would've leveled the already badly-damaged village if Naruto hadn't been ordered to order the two men to limit their swathe of destruction to a certain range, and to keep their physical fighting outside of the village. It was clear, based on their animosity which had picked up from where it left off ages before, that outright forbidding them from fighting would've been far too much to ask of the two and likely would've caused the destruction of the village if they'd taken their ire at each-other out on other people, places, or things.

"As you know, there is something of a shortage of D-Ranked missions this year and, due to certain unfortunate circumstances," the Sandaime said. "Since your team needs a mission in order to be an actual team, and learn the teamwork necessary to becoming a successful ninja, I have decided to give you a C-Ranked mission instead."

"Alright!" Naruto whooped as his teammates looked terrified at the prospect of going on a mission with him and Tobirama gave him a Look.

"It's about time." Madara sniffed. "Pity I have to be dragged along for something so menial though."

"Send Tazuna in." the Sandaime said, deciding to get the team out of the village before he came to second-guess and regret his decision.

"What's with the three brats and the old fart?" Tazuna asked.

The Hokage was forced to leap into action in order to save Tazuna, since it seems that Madara had forgotten the age-old adage of "You don't kill the customer until after they've paid you" over the years since he'd died.


After departing the battered village throughout which Naruto and his entourage were given a wide berth and wild cheering erupted as the team exited the village gates, the team set out on the road where the trip was almost completely uneventful until they reached a mud puddle that was resting on the road despite the fact that it had been several days since it had last rained. Kakashi had been about to set up a bit of a set up to see who the ninja had been after when Tobirama gestured for silence, snuck up on the puddle, and stood there and waited.

A head cautiously emerged from the puddle and looked around. The owner of said head looked somewhat freaked out upon spotting Naruto and his traveling companion.

"Get your own mud puddle!" the foreign ninja exclaimed. "I'm snorkeling in this one!"

With that, the head popped back underwater.

"Is that what they call it these days?" Tobirama said as he moved away from the puddle with a slightly disgusted look on his normally impassive face.

"Calling what?" Sakura asked.

"There's a set of twins in that "puddle", and I for one am in favor of giving them some privacy." Tobirama said as he strode down the road and urged the rest of the group to follow.

"You mean they're..." Sakura said, going red from somewhere in the vicinity of her toes to the hairline of her sakura blossom pink hair.

"THAT'S DISGUSTING!" she and Naruto exclaimed a second later.


"Gozu," one of the twins in the puddle said once the group was down the road and well away from them.

"Yeah Meizu," Gozu asked.

"Do you think we should warn Zabuza?" Meizu asked.

"I think it's every man for himself in this situation. I'm sure Zabuza would understand." Gozu replied as the two leapt from the puddle and started running down the road in the opposite direction from the one in which the other group had gone in.


The rest of the trip aside from the "mud puddle" incident remained uneventful until the group reached Wave, where Kakashi suspiciously watched as Tazuna and his compatriots displayed a great deal more caution than was warranted for a minor bandit problem. Suspicious, Kakashi ordered his team to remain on high alert. That order didn't stop Madara and Tobira from continuing their neverending fight though. Both men seemed to hold him in contempt, and refused to follow through with any requests or suggestions he made. Both were apparently confident that they could handle whatever came up, and being Kage level, it was almost entirely possible they could. The constant bickering was annoying as hell though and the rest of the team aside from Kakashi who knew he had to remain on guard were finding ways to tune it out. Sakura's Genjutsu ability had gone from non-existent to highly proficient during the trip as she cast a Genjutsu on herself that turned the squabbling into music from a memorized playlist. Sasuke had decided to skip the Genjutsu and cover his ears with a set of highly expensive headphones which had been plugged into a portable radio, and Naruto, who didn't have the Genjutsu ability of one or the money of the other had used a set of improvised earplugs made of wadded-up tissue.

Sensing someone who didn't belong, he decided to warn the group. After he called out a warning and dropped to the ground with their employer Tazuna, the children of the group watched as a sword sailed through the clearing just above their head height, taking off the heads of Tobirama and Madara who had apparently chosen to ignore the danger they'd sensed in favor of rehashing old history that had previously been nearly eighty years dead and buried. The flying sword buried itself in the side of a tree, and as the rest of the group who weren't preoccupied with reforming after taking damage rose to their feet, a bare-chested man with bandages wrapped around the lower half of his face who had tied his Kirigakure hitai-ate at what was supposed to be a rakish angle appeared on the handle of the sword that had gone sailing by mostly overhead.

The man that Hatake Kakashi immediately identified as Momochi Zabuza, the Demon of the Mist, looked down at the group, his contemptuous glare vanishing the instant he took in the sight of Naruto and his two tag-alongs who had reformed after their beheading. The enemy ninja swallowed, hopped off his sword, retrieving it on the way down to the ground, and sheathing it upon landing as he made his way towards the water.

"If you'll excuse me," Zabuza said as he turned to run off to parts unknown. "I'm going to go explain to my employer exactly why you don't hire A-Ranked ninja for S-Ranked missions. Fucking cheapskate should've hired the Akatsuki if he wanted a bargain."

"You can do that later." Tobirama said, moving into a fighting position. "There's the little matter of the fact that you took my head off that needs to be sorted out."