Author's Notes: Hey, relatively timely update! how about that. And you thought those were a myth. (However, as I am shortly to return to school, they may become one. But...)
Thanks again to my fabulous beta zaataronpita, without whom I would probably be a sobbing mess on a pile of words.
Now on with the show.~
If Romanov had put the pieces together concerning what the creature had said before its death about Asgard and Aesir, either she did not mention it or it had been deemed irrelevant, judging by the lack of reaction to any such news. He wasn't entirely certain which was preferable.
Or perhaps they knew, the thought crossed his mind. Knew and were setting snares even now…he swept the thought away. He could drive himself mad that way. All he could do was remain alert and hope that his ability to think on his feet would not fail him if it were needed.
At any rate, when he dropped his report on Coulson's desk he received only a speculative look and, after a moment, an, "Agent Romanov said you worked well together."
Loki was faintly surprised. What else did she say, he was tempted to ask, but that did not seem likely to be a productive course of action. "Did she."
"Would you say the same?"
Loki considered. In the end, though, he didn't really have to think that hard. "Yes," he said. "I would."
Coulson seemed perhaps just the slightest bit pleased, but he simply nodded. "I'll keep that in mind."
Loki sketched a shallow bow and left the room. He took an elevator to the basement, intending to see if he could make up his absence to Roslyn. Despite his slip in front of Romanov, he felt very nearly in a pleasant mood.
That lasted all the way from stepping out of the elevator to opening the door into the lab. And then it burst like a soap bubble.
Loki stood frozen in the doorway. He might have only seen her once or twice, but those memories were sharp enough to cut. What is she doing here, some wild corner of his brain shrilled. This is yours, this is supposed to be your safe haven-
"Oh, Luke!" Roslyn called out, just as he was hovering on the edge of flight. "Hey, I was just telling Jane-"
Yes, Loki thought. Jane Foster. I know her. Or. I know of her. Thor's beloved.
Oh, he thought, oh no.
And she was turning, and looking up at him (so small he could only imagine how she would look next to- stop thinking it, stop stop stop) without a trace of recognition. (For now, he thought frantically, for now.) "Oh!" she said, interrupting Roslyn with her expression brightening. "Luke Silver, right? Roslyn's just been telling me some incredible things – great to meet you," and she held out a hand. Loki stared at it. Stared at her.
So casual, he thought, dazed. You have no idea. That I know you. That I hate you, more than anything, than anything in this realm-
Her friendly, hopeful smile began to falter.
"Jesus, Luke, you look like you've just remembered you left the stove on," Roslyn said, frowning. "What's the deal?"
He forced himself to move, to take her hand, to smile. "Your pardon," he said, "I was merely…startled. I've heard some about you and did not expect…" Her hand was warm, palm faintly callused, her face open and friendly, eyes clever. Loki did not know what he had expected, but here, looking at her, it was not…what she was. She blinked.
"What," Jane Foster said, "You're a big fan of astrophysics?"
"More than you'd think," Loki said, and his smile felt sharp-edged to him. He tried to moderate it. "But I'm afraid not. I received records of the…New Mexico incident. Your name cropped up."
"Oh," she said, and a strange expression crossed her face. "Right. Heh." She laughed, though it sounded awkward and a little uncertain, and she dropped his hand. "That's what I'm famous for around here."
"Not precisely as you would like, hm?" he said, half an eye on Roslyn. She was watching him, frowning a little, and he tried to reinforce his expression to polite interest. "I can hardly blame you. It doesn't sound like the most pleasant of experiences."
Foster blinked. "What? Oh – no, actually, it was – it wasn't bad. Mostly. Other than losing my research and the giant Terminator robot…"
Of course, Loki's thoughts flashed, you were with the mighty Thor, even human he outshone all around him. Foster's smile faded, and she looked about to frown.
"Hey, Jane," Roslyn said, suddenly, and Foster looked away from him. "I gotta-" She made a vague gesture. "You'll be fine on your own?"
"I'm not helpless," Foster said, sounding a little peeved, "And I'm not letting SHIELD swallow me alive, no matter how hard they try."
"It's not that bad," Roslyn protested, and Foster gave her a look that eloquently communicated her doubt on that point. Loki felt his lips twitch and a moment later was uncertain whether he wanted to think better of her or resented her for it.
She was clever and had a mind between her ears. Roslyn, who was not without her own intelligence, plainly admired her. That was more than he would have expected of any woman to capture Thor, who primarily seemed to notice physical attributes that Miss Foster was…not lacking, but rather more sparse in than his usual. Roslyn was gone, however, and Foster was looking at him again. Loki donned a smile again, this one perhaps slightly easier. "I am afraid I am not the most skilled of entertainers."
"Actually," she said, "I was kind of hoping I could pick your brain over a coffee." Loki blinked, taken too off guard to react immediately. "From what Roslyn's told me, you've said some pretty fascinating things that could have fairly serious implications on what I do – that's why I'm here, actually."
She wants to talk to you, Loki thought, faintly incredulous. Ask you questions. And why not? Wouldn't you like to know more about her?
He did. An irresistible, sick sort of curiosity that wanted to know what she had that had so touched- his heart twisted, stomach turned, even to think of it. But he wanted to know. She was a link to everything he was trying to avoid. Wise to stay away.
Few had ever accused him of excessive prudence. "Why not?" he said, easily, and summoned a glib smile. "I am at your service, lady."
~.~
They left the compound to go to a little shop in the nearest town, seventeen miles out. Foster drove, and Loki decided that he very much disliked traveling on the dust and gravel roads that they were following. They were about a mile out from the boundary Loki had not crossed except for mission purposes when Foster broke the silence between them.
"Have we met?" she asked, eyebrows pulled together, and Loki could not keep himself from stiffening.
"I don't believe so."
"Then have I done something to piss you off since we did meet?"
The way she asked the question took him off guard. Direct, matter-of-fact, as though she truly wanted to know, not asking to hear assurances of innocence. Genuinely asking. "No," he said, truthfully. I hated you before I ever saw your face.
The thought flashed across his mind that he could kill her now. Arrange her death, easily enough; only mortal, after all, and so fragile. No one here had any reason to suspect him, if he was careful. And the next time Thor looked down at Midgard…
The thought passed.
Foster made a face. "Okay," she said finally, "If you're sure." The sideways glance at him said that she doubted it, but Loki pretended not to notice. Her eyes moved forward again a moment later. "So…you're not from around here."
Loki resisted the urge to sigh. "Roslyn," he guessed, but Jane gave him an odd look.
"No, actually. Phil – Coulson, I mean. He's had me looking at readings since you…uh. Landed. I guess I am kind of the resident expert. Well, Erik is, really – Dr. Selvig? – but he's apparently otherwise occupied."
He knows, was Loki's first wild, frantic thought. Who you are, what you've done. He sends her- but even before the thought completed he dismissed it. If they knew, there would have been some action taken. "Mm," he said, expression placidly indifferent even if his thoughts boiled underneath. "I see."
"Though really," Foster went on, "I'm out of my depth. We don't even really understand Einstein-Rosen bridges at this point, and the readings that got picked up when you landed were completely different from the ones in New Mexico-"
The Einstein-Rosen bridge, Loki gathered, must be the human name for the Bifrost. He felt a reluctant little quiver of interest that he tried to quash, but not quickly enough. "How so?"
Foster glanced sideways at him, seeming surprised at the question. Or perhaps surprised that he was still in the car; there'd been a bit of the tone to her voice that made him think her mind had begun to wander. (Familiar? Murmured a voice at the back of his mind, and he shoved it back.) "It's a little complicated," she said, slowly. "And if you don't have a background in astrophysics, which I'm guessing…"
Loki's smile felt sharp to him, almost more of a baring of teeth. "Try me." Foster looked briefly taken aback before her eyes swiftly turned forwards, and Loki tried to moderate his tone. "If you avoid too much technical terminology, I may be able to follow better than you think."
"Okay. Well. An Einstein-Rosen bridge is exactly what it sounds like – a bridge. Another name for it's a wormhole, and it's basically – a shortcut through space. The one in New Mexico – as far as readings can tell, is apparently a kind called a Morris-Thorne wormhole, allowing travel both ways, that can be opened and closed…apparently at will. And that shows up as a certain kind of readings on the machines, which at this point we can…sort of recognize. But when you turned up it was more like…" She frowned. "Well. That's the thing. I don't really know, but the readings don't look anything like the ones from the Bi- the Einstein-Rosen bridge in New Mexico. Smaller scale, for one – if you think of New Mexico's as a volcano, it's like Krakatoa to…well, maybe one of those Hawaiian ones. Massive difference in terms of radiation, air pressure changes, ripple effect…"
Bifrost, she'd almost called it. Loki pushed aside old memories that tried to well up (but how does it work?) and interrupted with, "How long have you been researching this phenomena?"
"Oh…" Jane made a face. "Five or six years? I started poking at it for my undergrad thesis, and since then…but to be honest I hadn't made a lot of progress until…recently."
Five or six years, Loki thought. Hardly the blink of an eye – well, perhaps not in mortal terms, but far swifter than he had expected; the Bifrost was…had been…a complicated thing. His curiosity welled up and he pushed it back down, reminded himself that he wanted nothing from her.
"And did your interstellar visitor explain this to you?" he asked, and then wanted to curse himself. This had been a bad idea. He ought to have found a way out of it, could have, simply enough, why was he here-
(Curiosity, his own mind answered, readily enough. You wanted to know her. This woman who so captured Thor's eye and his heart.)
"Not really," Jane said, looking almost as though she wanted to laugh. "He just kind of…well, to him I guess it wasn't really a big deal. No, mostly it was actually seeing it in action that finally gave me something concrete to study." She exhaled, and looked briefly frustrated. "Though that's kind of stalled now, since…uh. I don't know how much of this you already know."
All of it, Loki thought, and far more intimately than you. "You are not boring me."
"Well – good, but I'm also not really supposed to talk about it. SHIELD secrecy and all." She glanced at Loki sharply, starting to blush. "Not that I've got anything against-"
"Go ahead and have anything you like against," Loki said smoothly. "I do not take it personally." Not you. "I do know that the wormhole you are talking about has…" how would humans put it? "…ceased to be active. If that helps you know what you may say."
"Yeah," Jane – Foster, when had he begun thinking of her so informally? – said, after a moment. "Something happened, and the connection, for lack of a better analogy, got cut. But I've got enough data to work with for now, at least, so…" She sounded casual enough, as though her sole concern was with her research, but Loki could hear the slight trace of wistfulness that he suspected Foster herself might not be aware of.
You miss him, he thought. Three days, and you miss him. That's what he does, isn't it, pulls people in, makes them his, makes them need-
(I miss him too.)
He realized he'd been silent for too long, watching the desert slip by unseeing when Foster cleared her throat. "So how did you…" she asked, and Loki felt his stomach knot.
"I know not," he said, voice suddenly flat. "I was not fully aware at the time."
"—oh," she said, and then looked fretful, apologetic. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"
Something bubbled up his chest and he didn't swallow it back in time to keep a slightly hysterical laugh silent. "For what would you apologize?"
Jane – Foster looked puzzled. "I didn't mean to…well, I guess I can't think it was fun, and you had a look on your face."
Clever, Loki thought, she was clever and kind and had no idea who he was and Norns, he liked her. Sif without Sif's defensive, brittle edges and with the mind of a scholar. He wondered if she had spoken of her theories to Thor, if Thor had sat and listened without understanding as he once had for Loki-
"No, not that one," she said, frown deepening. "Little more 'let's not talk about it' and a little less 'you just killed my puppy, Jane, you monster'-"
Loki shook his head, one sharp, brief jerk. "It is – you needn't apologize." It came out sharper than he meant it to, and Foster gave him a strange, sidelong look as she turned onto a busier road.
"If you say so. Anyone ever told you you're a little weird?"
Loki choked on that for a moment, but managed to summon a smile that felt easier, more genuine, than he thought it probably should have. "Any number of times," he said. And did not add, and not just here.
"Hey," said Foster, brightening a touch and perhaps, Loki thought, looking faintly relieved. "Here we are."
~.~
The coffee was mediocre but not particularly good. The conversation was…
"That doesn't make any sense," she protested again. "You can't have it both ways."
"I didn't make the rules," Loki said airily. She narrowed her eyes at him.
"Then explain it to me."
"I have." Loki gestured at the napkins scattered across the table, covered with scrawls and images and he had come very close to simply showing her but he did not think that was wise.
"But how can something be there and not-there at the same time? It's a paradox. Not to mention what you're saying about something existing across dimensions – 'touching all and none.'" She huffed. "I want to say you're bullshitting me but I don't think you are. But that doesn't make sense." She was so close. If he could just think of a way to put things so that…
He came up short, remembering, belatedly, with whom he was discussing this, and nearly shoved himself back from the table he'd been leaning in toward. In the heat of the moment, he'd nearly forgotten. He didn't like her. Or didn't intend to. But…
He'd taken her for passing clever, and been perhaps impressed by her knowledge of the Bifrost – more than, he thought wryly, many who had used it. But even Loki had to admit that she was more than 'passing.' Limited, of course, by the bounds of human knowledge, but introduced to new things she adapted quickly. The longer they spoke, the more his already existing strange, slightly uneasy feeling grew. And she kept looking at him like she was trying to puzzle something out.
"It just is," Loki said finally, feeling a twinge of mingled frustration and something that tasted slightly wistful. "I do not know how better to put it."
"Then you're probably not trying hard enough," said Jane, tartly, and Loki stared at her, for a moment nearly incredulous, and then could not help a small, brief laugh. Jane narrowed her eyes. "What's funny?"
"Seldom do people speak to me as you are. They seem to find me…intimidating."
"I'm pretty hard to intimidate," Jane said, and Loki could see that. Could imagine her looking up the foot or more to Thor and-
Why are you doing this to yourself? Like digging a knife into your own flesh. But he liked her. Damn him. Damn her. "So it would seem." He looked around them, trying to think how he would explain this. He had never been much of a teacher. Jane seemed to be thinking as well, however.
"Maybe it's like…hm. Tangent to a circle? But tangent to nine circles at the same time, how is that…"
"I shall consider it," Loki said, with a sigh. "See if I can find some better way to make you see, and contact you – if I may," he added, belatedly, and realized that he didn't know how long she was staying, or even if. That thought made him want to frown.
"Hey, sure," Jane said, picking up some of the written on napkins and drawing on them. "Like I said, that's kind of why I'm here. To pick your brain about this stuff, and SHIELD's got me giving them some kine of report in the next few days, so…" she shrugged.
Loki felt the corners of his mouth curve up. "But you are not…employed. I gather."
"No," said Jane, emphatically, "And I'm not going to be, either. Not interested, so don't think-"
"I was not about to try," Loki cut in smoothly. He took another sip of his coffee, the last of it besides the dregs. Jane was watching him again, a slight frown between her eyebrows. "Something troubling you?"
"No," she said, slowly, and then added, "Maybe. I'm not sure. It's just…" she rubbed her left eye. "Probably nothing."
Loki had a strange, sinking feeling in his stomach. Which of course meant… "Now you've got me curious."
Jane eyed him silently for a few moments, then propped her chin on her hands. "It's just - you're from Asgard, aren't you?" she asked quietly, and Loki froze.
She knows. She knows who you are and what you tried to do – he stared at her, but she didn't look angry or upset or…anything. Just puzzled.
"It made sense," she went on. "Just…the timing, and there's a certain sort of…some similarities that can't be accounted for between New Mexico and your…um. And it's just…odds. Too. Everyone always says that aliens wouldn't look anything like us, and having two completely human looking aliens turning up around the same time from completely different places…"
If she'd put it together, he thought, SHIELD certainly had. Did they also know, then – or did they assume his was an unfortunate casualty to an unrelated incident? How much had Thor told them? How much had he said?
Kill her and run, murmured a voice at the back of his mind. They wouldn't notice your absence for a little while. And you could stay ahead of them, could you not…
Foster faltered. "…Luke?"
He felt frozen. Foolish. The Bifrost is broken, he reminded himself forcefully. There's no way to communicate with Asgard. They cannot know who I am or surely… "Clever," he said, distantly, and blinked, forced himself to focus and center on her face. She looked pale. Nervous, not scared.
"You're his…his brother, aren't you."
Loki swallowed. It should have been fury he felt. It wasn't. "I am not." A bald-faced lie that was also a truth. He wasn't. He never had been.
"No," she said, "No, it…you knew about New Mexico but SHIELD didn't say anything about another Asgardian, so you haven't told them. You appeared pretty quickly after he went to deal with family business, and – oh Jesus." She went a little paler. "You are. You tried to kill him!"
Loki was briefly thankful that he'd thought to mute their conversation to anyone else in the coffee shop. He settled his chin on his hands. "He is no brother of mine. And I did kill him. Briefly." He knew it was not the right thing to say, but he could feel a dull resignation sinking into his bones. Her expression shifted to enraged.
"How could you-" she sputtered, jerking to her feet. Loki gave her a disinterested stare. "So, what, are you in Earth time-out too? No, from what Roslyn was saying you've still got all your – whatever, that's why you kept looking at me funny, hell-"
"No one from Asgard knows I am here." Loki did not lower his eyes. He waited. Of course he could do something. Of course he could make her forget or lock her lips to speaking of this or…but of course none of that mattered, and besides, the reason not to…
It was like a kind of vertigo.
Foster was staring at him, eyes wide, seeming torn between nervousness and anger. She sat down, slowly. "What are you doing?"
"Here?" Loki shrugged one shoulder. "In essence, what you see."
"You're working for SHIELD." Foster sounded deeply skeptical. Well, Loki thought, at least somebody recognized the humor of it.
"They made a convincing offer."
Foster stared at him. He could almost see her shuffling, shifting around pieces of their conversation, coming to new conclusions. What did Thor tell you about me, he both did and didn't want to ask. He wondered if she would ask what had happened to her beloved. Wondered if she did, what he would say.
After a long moment, she stood, somewhat jerkily, and took a step back. Her face was hard, unreadable. "Well," she said. "Well. That's just great. That's just-" Loki kept his face impassive, and waited. She took a deep breath and let it out. "If I leave you here can you get back on your own?"
"Yes," Loki said, after a moment.
"Good," she said. "Cause I'm not letting you back in my car."
Loki felt fierce, hot anger well up in him. "You would judge me for what you don't understand," he said, lowly, "you would think to-"
"I judge your killing and wounding most of the population of a small town just to get to your brother!" She turned toward the door and then stopped, her back to him. "I think I understand just fine. I don't want you in my car."
Loki's jaw tightened. He took three deep breaths through his nose. "—fine."
"It's too bad," she said, turning around again, looking at him, that friendly face now hard lines. "I thought…is Thor dead?" Her tone was flat, but he heard just the slightest tremble, and a dark, vicious part of him wanted to lie, yes, I killed him.
"No," he said. She nodded, and walked out the door. Her back was stiff, as though she was waiting for him to strike. Expecting it, perhaps.
He could have stopped her. He didn't. Loki watched her walk away, and felt the most peculiar sense of loss.
Interlude (XI)
If he had expected Megan to become less peculiar with the passing of time, he was disappointed. She remained as perplexing as ever. Speaking with her was, however, a swift education in at least some matters, as she never failed to give him an odd look and a 'you talk weird' or occasionally 'what do you mean, you don't know Disney?'
It occurred to him sometimes, standing in the back room amid stacks of books and writing them down in inventory, how strange this was. If he thought too much about it, it chafed. Bitterly. But his safety was in being inconspicuous, and he would not remain inconspicuous long if he did not fit into the human mode of living. A job. A home (for now, still a hotel). Small things, yes, but they were his.
He'd been working relatively without incident for three weeks when he realized that he was being followed.
His trackers kept a safe distance, but – bounty hunters, he thought at first, and nearly panicked. But they were mortal, and that struck him as unlikely. The Aesir would know, if they knew he was here, that he could kill more mortals than they could send without rousing notice.
No, this was something else.
Loki let them follow without incident for a few days, giving no sign that he had noticed anything amiss, and on the fourth took a different route home from the bookstore, turning right into a narrow street and then cloaking himself from sight.
The man followed fifteen paces behind, convincingly casual. Built powerfully, for a mortal. Loki summoned one of his knives to his hand and shifted into motion as the man slowed, looking puzzled by the empty street.
He grabbed the man by the back of the neck and threw him bodily into a nearby wall. Then Loki stalked over before he could rise and hauled him up, putting the knife neatly against the pounding of his pulse and uncloaking himself. "Who sent you?" he demanded.
Not subtle, perhaps, but whoever dared to send spies after him ought to know with whom they were meddling.
The man looked dazed, and Loki did not bother to be terribly gentle about reaching into his mind and plucking out his name and errand. Then he dropped him, hackles rising.
"So," he said. "That's it."
He'd been careful. But apparently there was someone who'd noticed he was not only what he seemed. Someone who wanted him to serve them. Do work for them. The tails had been sent to feel him out and then to gauge his response to the offer. In case of an unfavorable response, he was to be…persuaded.
The man – Brian Mckean – was watching him and breathing hard. The knife, Loki realized, had nicked the skin, just enough to set a slow but steady bleed down the side of his neck. "Listen carefully," Loki said, smoothly. "Because I'm only going to say this once."
Loki watched Mr. Mckean stagger away, casting alarmed glances over his shoulder every few steps, Loki's warning firmly planted in his mind. He'd made sure of it.
When he was gone, Loki let out a slow breath. Hopefully it would be enough.
If it hadn't been…
Loki banished the knife back to the safe place where he kept it, checked his clothes for blood, and turned to make the rest of his way back to the hotel.
