"Here ya go, sugar."
I looked up from the talk show playing on the television to see Venus enter with a glass of ice water. She smiled and handed it to me. I thanked her as she sat down on the couch beside me.
I let out a shaky breath and twisted the cold glass between my hands. Venus put one arm around my back, her hands gripping my shoulders.
"It's perfectly understandable that you reacted the way you did, sweetheart. It was a terribly frightening thing to happen. To panic is natural," she said.
I shook my head.
"Riding a fucking bike shouldn't be a place for panic. Or fear. Fear is when someone is trying to kill you," I spat lowly.
"Fear is inevitable, Callie. It can happen anywhere at any time. No matter how fearless you are or how you have been trained. It can raise its ugly head at the drop of a hat. The key is not letting it win," she said, "You understand?"
I nodded. She was right. Of all the shit that I had been through and experienced in my life, a little post traumatic stress disorder should not even phase me. Then again, now that I was calmer, and had had a long talk with the ever affectionate Venus, I realized that maybe riding wasn't what had triggered my panic attack. In fact, I knew it wasn't.
"Why don't you go to your room? Lay down and relax," she suggested.
I looked up at her and gave her a small smile.
"'Kay," I replied quietly.
Venus smiled warmly, leaned down to hug me, and kissed my cheek. Just the hug alone made me feel a lot better, if just for a few moments. I needed this—Mom time. It had been a long time since I felt any kind of maternal love from anyone. Venus provided that comfort I needed.
I set my glass on the coffee table and stood from the couch, walking down the hall in silence. I never made it to my room. I kept walking, finding myself moving through the back door and into the backyard to sit in the garden swing among the trees and Venus' plants. I sat in silence, letting my mind wander.
I wasn't scared of that bike. If I had been scared of it, I would have never been happy to see it—excited to ride. No. It was the night that things happened, triggered by the familiar feel of the bike that engaged my panic. Not only that night, but the six years before, and everything that happened within that time. Living alone, dealing with sadness on my own. Losing everything that was keeping me stable. The reason I left…the reason I packed lightly…the reason I was carrying that gun.
"Hey."
I jumped out of my thoughts, physically shuddering as my head snapped up to see who the voice belonged to, as it wasn't Venus' soft southern drawl, but a deep voice with a slight lilt.
On the back porch, sliding the door closed, was Chibs.
Shit.
"Hey," I replied, my throat suddenly dry.
Chibs walked off of the porch and slowly approached me.
"Juicey said you'd be here," he spoke.
I looked down at the grass. It was starting to brown and beginning its transition as fall ebbed away and winter approached. The cool air sent a chill through me, and I wished I had worn a jacket. I kept absolutely still, though. I could take the cold, even though the painful goosebumps on my arms betrayed me.
"Mind if I sit with ya, sweetheart?" he asked softly, his boots now in my field of vision.
I looked up at him through the fringe that had fallen in my eyes and shook my head. Chibs moved and sat down on the swing beside me. I kept my head down and my hands tightly clasped together, as if the chill would go away the harder I held on.
"What happened?" he asked.
I snorted and looked across the yard.
"I don't know. I freaked," I replied bitterly.
I looked from the fence to Chibs, caring brown eyes staring back at me.
"I have never wrecked a bike in my life," I said.
Chibs gave me a small smile.
"Hell, Callie girl! We all wreck. No one is bloody fuckin' perfect. Is that what this is about? You're afraid you'll wreck again?" he asked.
I shook my head. Chibs amusement fell away and he studied me for a moment. Then, he scooted closer and gripped my arm.
"Hey. This panic happens after your first crash. It's nothin' to be ashamed of. What happened to ya was a traumatic experience. Gettin' back on isn't gonna be easy, but it will happen."
I looked up at him.
"Baby steps, yeah?" he asked, leaning over to lightly nudge me.
I smiled and nodded. I let my gaze drift back down to my hands. Chibs shifted on the swing.
"Hey. Callie, look here."
I obeyed. Chibs eyes filled with worry and he gently grasped my face, brushing my hair out of my eyes.
"Are you okay?" he asked, "You can tell me, ya know?"
I sniffed and nodded.
"Yeah, I just…Chibs, I normally don't do this. I'm not a chicken shit," I said.
"And I believe ya. Why would I think you're a chicken shit? Ya'd be a chicken shit not to be scared."
"I just didn't want you to change your mind…about patching in," I replied.
Chibs smiled. He let go of my face and leaned over to reach inside the bag that until this time, I had not noticed he had been toting.
"And what makes ya think," he said, grunting as he fished whatever it was out of the bag.
When he found the sought after items, he set them in my lap. When I realized what they were, my jaw fell.
"I would change my mind?" he asked, a smirk playing on his lips.
I reached into my lap to pick up a few blacked-out rockers and flashes sitting on top of two t-shirts, one white and one light blue. Colors. Two of the flashes were their signature Redwood Original flashes, one was the reaper and the California charter rockers, one was a Prospect rocker, and the other two were some I had never seen on any member from any Californian MC. One was a rose. The other said "SCOUT."
"Welcome to the family, sweetheart," Chibs said.
He stood from the swing. I stared up at him.
"This is official?" I asked in disbelief.
He smiled and shrugged.
"After church, it will be," he replied.
I set the badges and shirts aside and jumped up to hug him.
"Thank-you," I said into his shoulder.
Chibs squeezed me, perhaps a little too hard.
"You're welcome, Callie girl," he replied.
Chibs kissed the side of my head and let me go. He then picked up the bag.
"Come on. Grab your stuff. I'll explain what everything means when we get to the table," he replied.
I nodded and grabbed my things before following Chibs back inside and riding out to Red Woody.
***
"You got right on top of these, huh?" T.O. asked as Tig passed him his new badges.
Chibs sat at the head of the table and took a drag from his cigarette.
"Aye," he replied.
Tig handed the last of the black-outs to Montez before walking by me and patting my shoulder. The table had been rearranged in order to accommodate me, and balance the seating chart. Chibs at the head, as always, Tig to his right, Hap to his left. Juice, Rane, and Montez seated next to Happy, respectively. Rat, T.O. and then me to Tig's right.
Chibs smiled at us and snuffed his cigarette into an ashtray.
"Everyone has their original patches, with the exception of T.O. Juice, and Cal. Juicey, I know you wanted to try for Secretary. We'll vote this a later time, 'kay?"
Juice nodded.
"Callie and T.O., you'll notice your patches make up a hybrid Prospect cut. T.O., as a former MC Prez, and Callie, with your skills, it would be unfair to give ya the title of Prospect. However, ya will still be on probation for a year and will not be able to hold an office until probation is over. Understood?"
T.O. and I nodded.
"Sounds fair to me," T.O. said.
"With some of the changes I've made, though," Chibs continued, "the two of ya won't have to suffer through the role of a Prospect. Callie and Juice, both of you have a Scout flash. This is a new position that I came up with, inspired by Callie's new color idea."
My eyes widened and I sat straight up. The boys looked at me curiously, making me feel intimidated.
"We get caught a lot. Too much. I've decided to remedy that, and assign you two," Chibs pointed to Juice and I, "as Scouts. Guards, almost. The both of ya, as a team, will be on the outside. Ridin' ahead or tailin' behind, or hidin' out and swoopin' in when somethin' is compromised. Ya'll be our eyes and ears."
Juice's eyes lit up.
"Not a bad idea," he said.
"Ingenious, really," Tig said jokingly.
"God knows we've needed it," Rat agreed.
Chibs nodded.
"Sound good?" he asked.
"Hell yeah," Juice replied.
Chibs' eyes flashed over to me.
"Absolutely," I replied.
Chibs smiled and stood from his chair.
"Today, Callie received her patches," he announced as he walked over to me.
The guys began to holler and Tig yelled my name. Chibs walked behind me and put one hand on my back.
"This rose patch," he said, picking the rose out of the others, "Is for you, and any future female member of the club. This rose symbolizes that you, darlin', are a Sister of Anarchy."
I stared at the patch between his fingers for what seems like minutes. May have only been seconds, but I couldn't take my eyes off of it. This was a huge first for the MC, and history was quickly changing. I would be expected to live up to the rose and the reaper and all they stood for. I was running with bigger dogs. I would have to prove I could keep up. I had to prove I was worth my shit, no matter how good my relationships with them were now. I could not let them down, and would not let Chibs regret this decision.
"Stand up, Callie girl," Chibs said.
I stood and Chibs pushed my chair underneath the table. I faced him, and he took both of my hands, stared my straight in the eye, and smiled.
"We are your brothers, Callie, and you our sister. This club is your family now. Welcome," he said.
I could not contain the smile on my face. Chibs hugged me tightly. The boys clapped and stood up, each one of them hugging me and welcoming me to the club. It had been a long time dream of mine to be part of something like this. Granted, it was with the VII, but it was a family of best friends—brothers. Being pushed away after Zero died killed that dream, but now I was given a second chance.
Tig was the last to hug me, and his hug lasted the longest.
"Welcome home, baby girl," he said softly.
That made tears prick my eyes, but I swallowed the urge down. Not here.
"I know you're gonna make us proud," he said.
I pulled back to look up at him. Tig smiled and kissed my forehead.
"Or you'll give us hell. I'm not sure," he teased.
I smiled and he lightly shoved me.
"Alright. Sit down. Sit—" Chibs was interrupted by his cell phone.
The rest of us settled down and resumed our seats. T.O. patted my back.
"You ever been in an MC before?" he asked.
I shook my head.
"Rolled with one, but I've never been an official member," I replied.
He laughed.
"You're in for one hell of a ride, girl," he said.
I smiled.
"Jackie Boy," Chibs said in surprise.
The entire table froze and everyone shot their eyes over to the Prez. Tig backhanded Chibs' shoulder.
"Speakerphone, man!" he hissed.
Chibs pulled the phone away from his ear and activated the speakerphone.
"Didn't expect to hear from ya, brother," Chibs said.
"Yeah, I know," came the tired voice of Jackson Teller, former President of SAMCRO.
"Well, are ya all right? Is everythin' okay?" Chibs asked worriedly.
Jax didn't respond for a moment, but before Chibs could ask if he was still there, he spoke.
"How's the club?" Jax asked.
Chibs sighed.
"Golden, brother. Everything's good," he replied.
Again, it took Jax a moment.
"Good. I need to tell you somethin'. I want you to relay it to the club," he said.
Chibs' eyes quickly darted between the crew.
"Sure," he replied.
Jax took a deep breath before speaking.
"It's Gemma," he said.
I narrowed my eyes. Montez, who was sitting across from me, filled me in.
"Jax's mother," he whispered, "Murdered his Old Lady."
My eyes widened. Shit!
"She was killed this morning in County," Jax said.
The entire table froze, except for Tig. He stood from the table, pushed his curls back against his head and began to pace.
"Holy shit," he murmured.
"Jesus Christ, Jackie," Chibs replied, "I'm—I'm sorry. Are you okay?"
"Yeah," Jax replied in a hushed voice.
Chibs tapped his fingers against the table.
"Is there…is there anything ya would like us to do for ya, brother?" he asked.
"No," Jax said quietly.
There was another moment of awkward silence.
"Chibs?" Jax asked.
"Yeah?"
"You keep that club golden for me, alright?" Jax asked.
Chibs bit his lip, heartbreak written across his face.
"Always," he replied, "I love you, brother. We all do."
Jax didn't reply, and the line went dead. No one said a word until Juice broke the horrendous silence.
"Holy shit, bro," he whispered.
Tig stood near the window, dead silent, his back to us.
"Okay," Chibs said, "Hap, Juice, Quinn, and Montez, I want you four to go lock up TM. Then let's all call it and go home."
The club agreed. Chibs clapped a hand on the table and stood. The rest of us followed suit, save for Tig, who seemed glued in his place. I began to follow the boys out when Chibs stopped me.
"Just hold on for a sec, darlin'," he said quietly.
I nodded and hung back, shutting the door after Montez as he brought up the rear. Chibs turned to Tig and approached him, putting a hand on his shoulder.
"She was one of my best friends, Chibby," he said.
"I know, brother," Chibs said quietly.
"And…I hate her for what she did, but I still love her, you know?"
Chibs nodded.
"She was a big part of our lives. But we gotta move on, okay?"
Tig nodded and broke his gaze away from the window.
"Yeah," he whispered.
"How about," Chibs began, then glanced over at me, "We all go celebrate the induction of our newest member?"
Tig perked up at that.
"It's on me. Whatever it is," he quickly replied.
Chibs smiled.
"Call Venus. She can join us. Callie?"
I stood at attention.
"Whatever place ya want. Your choice," he said.
I smiled and shrugged.
"You guys can pick," I said, as I wasn't entirely familiar with the Charming food scene.
"Ah, none of that," Chibs said reaching for me and throwing an arm around my shoulders.
"I know a place," Tig said, "You'll love it. Let's go."
I smiled and walked with Chibs.
"Before we head home, we can go look at some houses. Off the beaten path, but nice. Protected," Chibs said.
I nodded. Tig walked out the door first. Chibs held the door for me, but before I could go through, he lightly grasped my chin, making me look at him.
"What?" I asked.
Chibs smiled.
"You've hardly stopped smiling. It's good to see ya happy, Callie girl," he said.
I smiled, embarrassed, my cheeks on fire. Chibs laughed and ushered me out the door.
"Get outta here, ya cheeky shite," he said jokingly.
I laughed and ducked, avoiding a playful swat to the back of my head, and we caught up with Tig.
Tino Venza was sitting at the bar, on his third glass of beer, eying the blonde bartender he had been trying to flirt with. She was slender, around his height and maybe ten years younger than he was. Had to be. That did not stop him from looking, nor did it stop her from flirting back, leaning against the counter in a way where he could see right down her shirt. He was a sucker for blondes and boobs, and she was a sucker for Italian boys with tattoos. He was sure that as soon as she saw his car, her pants would be on the floor. His trip to northern California would not go to waste.
"Can I get you another beer, hun?" the bartender asked.
Tino looked up and studied her face. Fake tan, winged eyeliner, sheer pink lip-gloss. He was sure she looked nothing like she did now first thing in the morning. However, he didn't plan on sticking around that long.
"Shot of Jack," he said, pushing his empty mug towards her.
He gave her a wink—a cliché way to charm her. She was naïve enough to blush over it.
"Sure thing," she replied.
Tino watched her walk away and looked around the room. The restaurant was packed with people, and the bar was beginning to fill up. He sat silently, watching different people pass by as he was given his shot of Jack Daniels. He thanked the bartender. She sidled up against the counter to flirt, but her words never came as a few loud men entered. She looked up at them, ducked her head, and turned away. Tino glanced over his shoulder to see two men, one with dark, curly hair, enter, two women in tow.
"Never thought I'd see those two double-date," the bartender said.
Tino looked back to the woman.
"You know them?" he asked.
She nodded.
"They own a porn studio. Their boss did this to me," she said, pointing to the scars across her nose, "The boss's mother, too."
Tino grimaced.
"That's a shame. Scumbags," he said.
He honestly did not care where the scars came from—or her, for that matter.
"Porn studio, huh?" he asked.
She nodded.
"I used to be…an actress," she said.
Tino smiled outwardly and vomited inwardly—not because she was an ex-pornstar, but because she seemed proud of it.
"Who are they?" he asked.
She rolled her eyes.
"Couple of assholes from SAMCRO," she replied.
Tino swallowed thickly. That was not a name he wanted to hear.
"What did you say your name was again?" he asked.
She smiled.
"Ima," she replied.
Tino smiled. Across the bar, a large bald man lifted his mug into the air.
"Hey, darlin'! Can I get a refill?"
Ima looked from the man to Tino and smiled.
"I'll be right back," she said.
Tino nodded and sipped his Jack. His eyes wandered over to the group. They were seated at a circular booth, their waitress taking their orders. He could not see the taller woman's face, and could only see the side of the curly-headed man and the top of the shorter woman's head, but he had a clear view of the one on the end. Tall, graying mustache and goatee, scarred all to hell. He was not familiar with the face, but he knew those distinct scars could lead him in the right direction to identify him.
When their waitress left, the shorter woman looked up, threw her head back, and burst out laughing at whatever the curly-haired man had said. That is when he saw her face, recognizing her instantly.
"Son of a bitch," he said to himself.
Quickly, he fished his cell phone out of his pocket. He had the number he needed on speed dial, and pressed the number 2 before holding the device to his ear. On the other end, friend and boss, Shane Maddox, answered.
"Yeah?" Shane answered.
"We got a problem," Tino said.
"Fuck," Shane replied, annoyed, "Is it the XMC?"
"Nah, man," Tino replied, "Fucking SAMCRO."
"Oh, goddammit, Tino! How the fuck did you get screwed up with them? They're fucking dangerous! What are you thinking, bro? We're in enough shit as it is!" Shane ranted.
"I'm not!" Tino replied, his voice skipping an octave.
"You're out there to locate—"
"I found her, Shane. I'm looking right at her!"
Shane was silent for a moment.
"Are you shitting me right now?" he hissed.
"She's not too far from where I'm sitting," Tino replied.
"Well don't let her fucking see you. She'll blow your goddamn brains out! Where are you?"
"Charming. Callie fucking Shepherd is rolling with SAMCRO."
"Shit!" Shane exclaimed, "Get the fuck out of there and get back home, now!"
Tino agreed and hung up, slipping out of the restaurant without paying or being detected, pleased that his goal was finally met, but disappointed he could not get that slutty little pornstar back to his hotel room.
