Daryl's POV
Sharp pain blooms over the freshly torn skin of my cuticle. Blood pools around the nail bed, bubbling up and threatening to spill down the sides. The sharp taste of iron spreads over my tongue as I suck at the wound. My leg bounces, anxiety licking its way through my veins. A sick poison that has made itself home again in the last forty-eight hours. I lean against the wall, listening to the others, but failing to keep up when the storm inside my head screams.
This day has been a shit show from the moment my eyes opened.
Sleep didn't come last night, not when my brain knew that the love of my life happened to be down the hall from me. Eventually, I managed to catch a few hours, but it was fitful with nightmares. Waking up and finding out Aria and Dean were gone was the cherry on top. Rick was pissed, Sam tried to mediate, and I couldn't shake the dread that had swallowed me whole when I heard those words - She's gone.
I don't know what I expected after that. Finding Aria on her knees with several weapons poised for her head, covered in dirt and bruises, was not one of them. After the events of waking up, stumbling upon the scene was the kind of whiplash that knocks you unconscious. It was overwhelming. Worst of all, though, was not being able to be a part of the talk.
Rick was right to keep the group small. We all saw how overcome she was last night, and the smaller the entourage, the better. Still, it felt wrong. It left anger stewing in my gut for being left out when it involved my girl. So, once the delivery was taken care of, I headed for the meeting house.
It was easy to slip in undetected. What wasn't easy was staying hidden and listening to Aria tell her story. The way she spoke gutted me.
She talked as though she was a ghost haunted by a past that led to her demise. Unnerving would be polite. It was wrong and I caught myself several times wanting to make my presence known. I managed, though, until I couldn't.
Hearing her talk about Negan turned me green with disgust. Worst of all was the way it ripped my scarred heart in two. Anger bubbled in my veins, indifference turning my face to stone. It was easy after that to step into the room and question her. But, like always, seeing her had my mind and heart waging war. Watching her resign to her fate and slump in defeat wasn't something I was prepared for.
Aria has always been a fighter. Surrender was never an option. Never. Even when the odds were stacked against us, she wore defiance like a badge. The woman who I saw today was a shell compared to the one I knew.
Although looking back, Aria has been a ghost of the woman I knew for a long time.
What came after, though, everything with the Saviors and Dwight and Sherry, it terrifies me. She didn't spare us the details. With that dead tone and her chilling truth, I didn't have to try hard to paint the picture. Each word sent chills down my spine and my heart racing, mind slipping back to the warehouse where she tried to kill me as a demon.
The others sit in strained silence now that Aria has left. Once Rick decided it was time for everyone to discuss, they sent her out to the backyard.
Sam and Dean stand at the back door, arms crossed in defiance with faces of opposition. It ain't helping. Everyone is on edge with Aria being back, and now after hearing her story, they're even more uncomfortable. I can tell this ain't gonna end well.
Resting my head against the wall, I release a quiet breath. Life ain't ever gonna be easy when it comes to that woman.
"I know that was a lot to take in. I'm still processing, but we need to talk this out. It's not just us anymore. We need to think of the other communities too. So," Rick gives Sam and Dean a pointed look, "we are going to have a calm discussion about whether or not Aria can stay in Alexandria."
Dean's jaw twitches, but both brothers give terse nods in agreement. Rick's gaze shifts to me, a question there that I answer with a subtle nod.
He knows what this last year has been like. The hours I wasted searching for someone who didn't want to be found. There was the anger, the depression, the self-loathing, and utter sense of failure that clung to me like a leech - sucking the very life from me. It wasn't until recently, maybe a month ago, that I started getting back to the person that I fought to be. Now, all of that hard work that I put into getting over this woman has been tossed out the window. I finger the chain around my neck as Rick addresses everyone.
"With the exception of Jesus, we've known Aria from the beginning of all of this. When she left us I know it hurt. Having her back and without the Mark is a dream come true, but I need us to not consider the past. We have to set aside our feelings and look at this like any other stranger that walks through those gates."
Not a soul hints at speaking, each gaze lowered while they question themselves - can I forget all that time and look at someone I cared about like I never knew them? It's a question I know I can't answer because despite her story, the Mark and everything in between, I only see the woman that I fell in love with.
"If we don't consider the past and only judge her based on her story," Michonne starts, reluctant in how she holds herself and the pinched look she wears. "Then she's dangerous. A danger that we need to decide is worth keeping or not. Someone who can have that kind of influence over others could mean trouble for us."
Sam shakes his head with a simple, "This isn't going to work." Rick starts to protest, but Sam halts him. "It's not fair to only judge her on what she told us because, for the majority of that time, she wasn't even herself. She was controlled by the Mark."
"She could have fought it," Maggie counters.
"She was protecting us."
"We don't know that," Jesus adds, coming to Maggie's defense. "Aria said multiple times that she doesn't know why she did what she did. She's not even sure if she was protecting us or doing it because it was enjoyable."
The brothers glare at the long-haired man but don't fight back. They can't. Not when Jesus points out the blatant truth.
"She could be an asset."
All eyes shift to Maggie, the woman playing Devil's advocate. I chew on my lip, knowing that at some point all that attention will be on me, waiting to hear my opinion.
"Aria is good at strategizing. She orchestrated an entire coup and overthrew one of the most powerful groups we've heard of. Yes, she's violent. I don't agree with the violence, but that makes me a hypocrite because we murdered an entire outpost. Carol and I killed every person that kidnapped us and even the reinforcements. We have just as much blood on our hands as she does."
"You didn't kill people who asked for mercy."
"Yes, we have," Dean admits, all sharp edges. "Sam was possessed by the Devil. I've killed plenty of monsters that begged to be spared. Hell, they deserved mercy. They weren't doing anything wrong except trying to live in a world against them. I spent years in Hell torturing souls that begged me to stop and I never did. We have done the same things she has, yet you still keep us around. You've all murdered people in their sleep. We're one in the same."
Rick folds his hands on the table, drawing in a deep breath. It takes a second for him to gather his thoughts and then he speaks with an exhaustion we all feel deep in our bones.
"None of us are good. We each have our justifications for what we did so that we can sleep at night. I can see that Aria isn't proud of what she's done, but like I said before this isn't just about us anymore. Do you all think that Hilltop, Alexandria, Kingdom, and the others will be okay with her being a part of this group if her story ever gets out?"
"You're asking whether the alliances would shift if everyone knew the truth of who she was?"
The man nods, sitting back in his seat. He's at war with himself, struggling to be the leader and the friend. "The Saviors caused people a lot of issues. Aria played a part in that. She worked for them, admitted to being Negan's right-hand man. How do we know that she wasn't the cause of some of these group's downfalls? Do you believe that people can overlook that or would they oppose and give us an ultimatum?"
"We keep her inside the walls then. No patrols, no interactions with deliveries. Aria remains inside Alexandria and we prevent others from finding out," Dean explains.
I can't help but snort, instant regret rolling over me because everyone looks to me. Clearing my throat, I tighten my arms over my chest. "We all know that ain't gonna work. She'd be a prisoner then. Ain't no way in hell Aria will sit on the sidelines."
"She won't be on the sidelines," Sam defends. "We have plenty of jobs around Alexandria for her to do that would keep her preoccupied."
"What? Gardening? Building houses? Y'all know her better than anyone. You honestly believe she's going to do that over patrols? She's a fighter, and she knows it. She'll argue that we're wasting a valuable asset."
"She's not the same person, Daryl."
Dean's sympathetic words have my gaze narrowing and hands clenching. A bite lingers in my words as I argue. "She may not be, but one thing that ain't changed is that she's a soldier. Even if she agrees, it won't last. Something will happen and she'll jump in because maybe she has changed, but if she couldn't kill you two, then she ain't going to sit on the sidelines while we're in danger."
A strained silence fills the room as my words are considered. What happened this morning, it wasn't unwarranted. Aria didn't know about the transports. She went out on patrol with Dean and found an armed group. Of course, she's going to attack because that's always who she will be.
I don't doubt that what she did with the Saviors was for our benefit. However, I've seen the power of that Mark and how it changed her. Aria doesn't know why she did what she did, and I think she's too afraid to consider that it wasn't all just for us, some of it was for her own want.
"We're not getting anywhere like this," Jesus huffs. "You all have your points and they are all valid, but we need to start weighing the pros and cons here. That is if you can all live with turning her away."
"If Aria leaves then so do we," Sam cooly states. Surprise paints a couple of faces, but Rick looks more troubled than surprised. He saw this coming.
"You can't leave," Rick orders, glaring down the two. "I know I can't keep you here, but keep in mind that you guys gave Lucifer the Mark. You stole a valuable spell book from a powerful witch, and have now partnered with the King of Hell. If you leave, we can't handle what might come."
"We'll send someone else to watch over you. I let her walk away once and I'm not going to let my sister walk away again."
Tension hangs in the air, electrified and ready to blow. Dean and Rick are ready to bare teeth and lunge at each other's throats with Sam at Dean's back and Michonne at Rick's. There's more to their tension than Aria being back. This has been building for months now, and it may finally come to a nasty head.
"What if she doesn't want to stay?"
Now, that question has a cold chill sweeping through the room and stunning everyone into speechlessness. Even for me, the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end and my stomach drops, and those were my words.
"If you want me to stay, I'll stay."
Aria said she would stay. She's had several opportunities to run, to break that promise and yet she hasn't. I want to believe her. Every cell in my body does, but I can't let myself hold onto that hope. If something happens then I don't think I'll make it. That kind of heartbreak, a second time, will be my demise.
Nobody says a word. Even Sam and Dean remain silent, which looking at the two and seeing their uncertainty tells me that this isn't the first time this conversation has come up between them.
All eyes turn to Rick, sheep looking to their shepherd. Yet, the man ignores his herd to stare down at the wood table.
Michonne reaches over to grip Rick's hand, sharing a simple look before she releases a slow breath.
"Then we let her go."
A/N:
Hey! I'm sorry for the outrageous wait! Per usual life has gotten in the way, but I'm not giving up on this story! It's just going to take time for updates to come. Part of it is life, another part is motivation. So, again, I apologize.
Anyway, we finally get back to our beloved hunter. I think that this is a tough situation for everybody considering what Aria has done, hence why there isn't a clear decision...yet. You'll find out next chapter if Aria is getting the boot or not ●‿●
Let me know what you think! Reviews are fantastic and great motivation, but also let me know whether or not you guys like where this is going or not!
