I've updated again! I love writing this so I'm kinda updating more frequently. Warning there is some heavy smut near the end... Have fun ;)
I couldn't sleep that night. Gab came home with mum at around 1, and Willow didn't come home at all, and dad was in Japan. When they came through the front door, I heard them talking.
"Gabrielle shush, you'll wake you sister." My mum sounded normal, just like she always did, scolding but affectionate as I heard the keys jingle where she put them on the hook by the door. I heard them taking off their shoes, and I turned over onto my back, listening intently.
"She sleeps like a log." He threw my mothers excuses into the wind, and even though I was offended, I knew he was right. I was a very heavy sleeper.
"Gabriel." My mothers tone was a warning, but Gabriel was the one out of all of us who never stopped challenging our parents. I was glad when he was home, because he stood up to them in a way only he could, and they couldn't really say anything because he was technically an adult, which he reminded them frequently.
"Mum, you have to get those drugs. They'll help you." He pleaded, and my stomach tightened. More than anything I wish Alec was here right now. He'd hold me and tell me everything was okay, and I knew it was selfish to even want that from him after what almost happened today, but...
"It's too expensive." She tried to play the conversation off, but Gabriel wasn't a quitter.
"I'll quit university." He said quickly.
"You will not do such a thing. Really Gabriel, don't wish your future away like that." She said, sounding offended, and I heard Gabriel sigh.
"What about your future mum?" He asked grimly, his voice cracking, and silence ensued. There was sniffing, and shuffling, and I couldn't tell who was crying but I knew they were hugging.
"I'll be okay, Gabs. You just look after Cass and Willow." She told him, and she sounded so strong that a tear ran down my cheek. She would always put us before herself.
"Cassie... Is she okay mum?" He asked, and I tensed. Maybe they'd seen through my false pretences. Maybe they already knew something was going on between Will and I, or maybe the school had called to say I wasn't my usual self lately.
"I don't know, Gab. She's been so distant, so independent. I fear she's grown up way too fast." She worried, her tone far away in thought.
"You know that's not what I meant. Is she still... Going to the doctors and stuff?" He seemed to not want to say it, his voice strained, and I felt bad. Even when my mother had cancer I somehow managed to take the attention away from her.
"No, the doctors said she doesn't need to go back. But I want you to keep an eye on her. It's Friday tomorrow, I want you to take her out Saturday. I'm at the hospital all weekend, your dads in Japan. Take both of them, and Alec... And Will." At the mention of Will and Alec, going to the same place, with us, made my stomach clench. No, that was a very bad idea.
"Alec I'm okay with. Will..." My brother trailed off. Alec and Will had been around since they were little, but Gabriel had always liked Alec more, he'd always said Alec was respectful, and they both had a keen interest in football, and supported the same team. He'd once said to me that if I ever dated Alec, it wouldn't be the worst thing to happen.
"That boy has done more for your sister than you think. He's a good kid, Gabriel. He's family, just like Alec is." My mother said, and the affection in her voice made me smile. She had always been a compassionate woman, and her love for my best friends always made me grateful that I had an understanding mother.
"I wish I could just do my big brother thing and hate them both." Gabriel grumbled, and my mother laughed, a sweet, tinkling sound that made me believe everything was going to be okay. So, I pulled out my phone and pulled up Alec's and Will's numbers, texting them both different things.
To Alec: hey you fancy exploiting my brothers generosity on Saturday and coming with?
To Will: hey, I'm... I'm really sorry. I didn't think he'd react like that. Everything I said, I didn't mean it. I'm sorry. I'll end our 'lessons' and teach you math for free, okay? So... Do you wanna come out with the fam on Saturday. Willow could really use your company right now.
I played on the willow card, knowing he wouldn't be able to turn that down. I sent them both and listened as my brother and mother went into their room and went to sleep. I laid awake, staring at the ceiling, absentmindedly touching my lips, smiling to myself. It had been just what Will said it would be, soft, warm, comforting. It felt normal, like we'd been doing it for years. I smiled harder, feeling like a stupid love sick teenage girl.
My phone buzzed, and I rushed to pick it up.
Will: maths for free, sounds good to me. I'll come on Saturday... Is Jem going?
I felt a stab in my chest that he hadn't acknowledged my apologies, and another one when he asked about Jem. Was he angry? Did he care? Crap, him and Jem are friends! My phone buzzed again, and I saw Alec's reply.
Alec: sure thing Cass. What happened with Jem while I wasn't looking, he was smiling the whole way home.
I felt myself blush, thinking of Jem thinking about me.
To will: no, he's not
To Alec: Was he really smiling?
I artfully dodged Alec's question, really not wanting to discuss this with him.
Will: oh
What did he want me to say? What did he want to say? What was any of this
Me: what's wrong
Will: nothing
Me: liar
Alec: don't dodge my question. You kissed him didn't you! Jeesh he's a lucky dude.
I sighed, looking at the two conversations with the boys that looked so similar but so different.
Me to Alec: maybe... Night Alec.
Alec: I knew it! Night.
I waited for Will to reply, but he didn't. I waited an hour, even two, before I turned off my phone and tried to will myself to sleep. I laid awake for a long time, listening to the litter patter of rain. I couldn't stop thinking about Will, about what he saw, about if he'd hate me. Was he upset? He seemed upset. He seemed like he was not in the mood to talk either. The rain got harder, and I sighed, my head starting to hurt? Did I leave the window open?
I got out of bed, throwing my covers back, storming over to the window, which I had left open. I was about to slam it shut when I saw a shadow in my garden, their arm drew back. I was about to scream before I leaned closer, getting a better look.
"Cass! Cass it's me." I heard Wills voice, and I looked down in shock, realising I was only wearing a flimsy low cut silk top and some pj shorts. I yanked a cotton jacket off the side, pulling it on and looking down at him in shock.
"Will! What the hell are you doing?" I hissed, and I realised it wasn't raining, but that he'd been throwing rocks at my window for an hour now.
"I wanted to talk to you." He said, and I looked around quickly to make sure no one was watching before I took a deep breath.
"Okay, stay there." I whispered, before swinging my leg over the windowsill.
"Cass!" He exclaimed, but I was already clinging onto the drain pipe, climbing down the sturdy ivy that grew up my house. I'd done this many times, sneaking to parties with Alec or just generally sneaking out. So my feet didn't falter as I climbed, the cool wind blowing through my clothes, and I jumped onto the ground, my bare feet tickled by the dewy grass.
"What the hell are you doing?" I asked, walking towards him, and he fidgeted a little.
"I saw you... And Jem." He said, and I pulled at my hair in frustration. No way he'd come all this way for this conversation. No friggen way.
"Are you... So?" I didn't exactly know what to say, but he didn't seem to want me to talk.
"I just... You looked... Happy." He said, scratching the back of his head nervously. I watched him, wondering why he was so bothered by Jem and I.
"Happy..." I tried the word out, but it didn't feel right. I wasn't happy right now, I was worried. Worried Gabriel would wake up and find us, worried the next door neighbours would complain. Worried Will was catching a cold because he'd been stood out here for such a long time.
"Yeah." He replied, and then there was an awkward silence, one that stretched and stretched as we looked at each other. Will rubbed at his shoulders, wincing, and I felt guilt well up in my chest.
"Did Alec hurt you badly?" I blurted the question out, and Will met my eyes, smiling a little.
"Yeah, I think that was the whole point." He laughed, but it sounded false, sad.
"I didn't mean for him to do that. I was... Upset, and I just told him everything that happened between us. The bad things I said too." I reassured him, making sure he knew I hadn't made him out to be the only bad guy. He smiled, looking at the ground as he kicked at a pebble.
"Everything? Like about our... Lessons?" He asked hesitantly, and I felt my cheeks turn red.
"Yeah, that too." I admitted, and Will laughed, a little more him now.
"Well at least now I know why he laid into me so much. He just worries." He said, and I was surprised he was making excuses for Alec behaviours.
"Doesn't make it okay." I said, and Will looked at me, narrowing his eyes.
"Why are you... I don't understand." He whispered, and I had to strain to hear him. He sounded so confused, and I watched him as he looked up at the sky, shaking his head.
"You confuse me, Cassandra." The use of my full name makes me flinch,but he doesn't say it harshly. He said it softly, his eyes searching the heavens, maybe for answers.
"You confuse me." I whispered, and I thought he hadn't heard, I hadn't meant him to hear, but his eyes snapped down to focus on my face, his eyes narrowed.
"How?" He asked sceptically, and I fidgeted nervously. I didn't want to admit that even though Jems kiss made me feel like I was floating, that Wills kiss made me feel like I was being dragged through a storm while being continuously shocked my lightning strikes of pleasure. That he confused me because I found myself feeling for him. Because after everything here I was in the middle of the night only a foot away from him wishing this distance was smaller.
"Because I don't feel like you're confused at all. I'm confused all the time. I'm confused to why I keep waking up in the night wanting to feel you by my side, why I wake up wanting you. Why every time I kiss you... I never want it to stop." He admitted, his words a rush, tainted with sadness, and I just stared at him, gobsmacked.
"But... You said too fast... You always stopped me." I stumbled over my words, dumbfounded, and he laughed, running a hand through his hair.
"That's because I knew if I didn't stop I'd end up having sex with you." He replied, his voice strained with something... Sadness, disappointment maybe. He made no effort to move forward, and I found myself twitching, wanting to move, wanting to feel the heat of his skin, just to reassure myself, just to solve the doubts and feelings I felt. Just to see.
"That bothered you? That we might... Have sex." I asked, feeling a little awkward, and he met my eyes, smiling a cute lopsided half smile.
"Would it bother you?" He asked, not answering, and I fidgeted again. He moved forward this time, edging towards me carefully as if he was afraid I'd bolt, but I stayed still. How on earth could I answer that question?
"I don't know..." I answered truthfully, and he seemed surprised, he stopped in his tracks, looking at me, the corner turned up in a genuinely surprised smile.
"Really..." He trailed off, closing the distance between us, and my breath caught in my throat as I felt his skin against mine, sparks raining down on me, just like they always did. His hands were on my face, tilting my chin up so he could look into my eyes.
"Will." It was suppose to be a warning, but it came out as a breathy sigh instead, and he smiled.
"Cassie." He sighed, his breath moving strands of hair off of my cheek. My chest was rising and falling rapidly as I tried to pull away, remembering Jem, remembering how I felt when I was around him. Will closed the distance, his lips brushing against mine softly, chastely, and I melted. I felt him smiling, but not for long, because he pulled away, his eyes alight.
"Just tell me when to stop." He breathed, pressing his lips to the place below my earlobe. My mouth opened in pleasure as his lips moved against my skin, his tongue burning against me as he sucked on the spot. He continued down my neck, kissing, sucking, licking, and my fingers dug into his hair, drawing him closer. I closed my eyes, but it was a mistake. As soon as I closed my eyes I saw his face, Jems, and I pulled away, holding my hands up to stop him.
"Stop. Stop." I choked out, and he stepped back, complying.
"Okay, I get it." He said, retracting into himself again. Dammit. Not this Will. Not him.
"Don't Will. I want to be your friend!" I exclaimed, and he stumbled away from me like I'd hit him.
"I can't be your friend, Cassie. I can't do that, I can't stand by and act okay with you snogging my friend." He said grimly, and I felt my eyes water.
"No. Will." I begged, but Will shock his head.
"I'm only human, Cass." He whispered, and I looked at him pleadingly.
"Please try. Please. I can't... I can't lose you." I chocked on the lump on my throat, swallowing hard, and he looked up, his eyes shined in the moon light, and for a second I thought he was going to walk away, and I couldn't think of a worse thing. I couldn't think of anything that I wouldn't trade to stop him. He just stared, his eyes swimming with so many things I couldn't even identify them.
"Okay. I'll try." He said finally, and I smiled as he stuck out his hand, smiling like a child.
"Thank you." I said gratefully as I shook his hand, ignoring the zapping up my arm from the contact of his skin.
"Go back to bed." He instructed, sounding so much like my big brother that I felt a twinge in my chest. I smiled, before I turned and climbed back up to my window, sliding into my room. I turned, and waved him goodbye. He waved back, before he walked away.
Things were going to be okay, I thought as I slipped into bed, touching my ear, and it was wet still, and I shivered.
Oh god.
I grabbed my phone and saw a message from Jem.
Jem: sleep well
I felt restless, and I squirmed, tracing the wet trail Will left behind, my core twitching. Shit, I was turned on! Really horny, really really horny. I put my phone down, knowing I couldn't call Jem because Jem was not that type of guy, and texting will after I made such a big deal out of being friends... Bad idea. I tossed onto my side, which only made it worse because my hair stuck to my damp skin.
"God." I breathed, scrunching my eyes closed. Stop it, I told myself. Stop it right now.
My phone buzzed, and I snatched it up, glad for the distraction.
Alec was calling me. I answered, surprised.
"Hey baby girl." His voice was tired and deep, and it made me groan.
"Alec..." I groaned, and he fell silent.
"Cassie, are you okay?" He asked, his voice vibrating right down to my core.
"Jesus stop talking like that." I growled.
"Like what?" He asked, a perfect demonstration of what I wanted him not to do.
"Like that." I grumbled, feeling even worse now.
"Cassie am I right in thinking your feeling very naughty." He teased, and it was like he was trying to make his voice husky.
"Maybe..." I replied, and he laughed, low and deep, and I cringed.
"Hmm." He hummed down the phone, and my free hand went to the hem of my shorts. I'd never felt this intensely. I drew my hand back, not wanting to give in to this.
"Alec..." I warned, and he chuckled.
"Oh Cassie." He drew out his words, and it was the sexiest thing I've ever heard.
"Alec I'm warning you." My voice sounded lower, huskier, and I mentally kicked myself.
"Mmm. I like this side of you." He mocked, and I turned over, not able to stay still.
"Why did you call?" I tried to distract myself, pressing my face into my pillow.
"Oh, nothing important. Just to see if you were awake. Now I'm very interested in the conversation." He mocked, and I groaned a long, desperate moan.
"Baby girlie... You're a naughty minx aren't you." He was teasing, but somehow him calling me naughty made me more turned on.
"Say it again." I was surprised I said it, but it slipped past my lips on a sigh, and there was silence on the other side of the phone.
"You are naughty." He was serious this time, and I groaned, balling my fist in the sheets to stop myself from reaching under my shorts and getting the release I craved.
"Shit." I heard him curse, and I bit my lip. This was so wrong, Alec was basically family, this was so wrong!
"You're turning me on." I told him matter of factly, and now it was his turn to groan, a sound that made my stomach clench and do quadruple flips.
"Don't tease me, Cass." His voice was dark, and I looked at the phone as if I could see him, and I could picture his face in my mind. Dark, lustful eyes, jaw tight as he restrained himself, shoulders tensed as if at any moment he was going to launch at me and pin me to the nearest surface.
"I'm not teasing." I stated plainly, and I heard him move, there was a rustling in the back ground.
"Are you... Touching yourself?" He asked, but not in a way that made me feel awkward. Alec never made me feel awkward.
"No." I breath, which only makes it sound like I am, but it don't want to admit it.
"Mmm. Why not?" He asked, and I thought maybe he was much drunker than I thought.
"Because... Are you?" I asked, feeling my cheeks grow hot as my hips moved forward just a fraction, eager for something, anything.
"If I told you Jem would hurt me." He joked, which made it obvious his answer was yes. It wasn't weird for a guy, but it would be weird for me. For any girl, to do that on the phone.
"Jem and I aren't going out." The words just slipped out, and I didn't even want to take them back, because they were true.
"Well then that means there's a chance. For me to help you." The last sentence was tainted wit double meanings, and the thought of him 'helping' me drew me to the edge. My hand slipped past my shorts, and I gasped. My hand was freezing.
"Tell me. How you would help me." I ordered frantically, and maybe if I was of same mind, I would have been disgusted, but I didn't care. Not now, with my hand down my pants and Alec pressed to my ear.
"First I would kiss you, all over your body. I can imagine what your skin feels like. Warm, soft... Do you know how many times I've been holding you and wishing I could hold you differently? So many friggen times. So many times have I wanted to kiss you, or when I drive you to school I want to pull over and fuck you in the back seat. Get between your legs or rip off your top. Is that bad?" He asked, his voice a purr, but it wasn't bad. It was so friggen good. I moaned, my hand moving in circles, picturing him holding me, pinning my legs apart, his head dipping between them...
"I had a dream about you. In the car." I said, trying to keep my voice hushed.
"I jumped into your lap and kissed you while we were still driving. You swerved, but I didn't care. I just remember wanting your hands on my body, on my ass, under my top. I rolled my hips, and you were moaning as I rocked against you. You were so hard..." I trailed off as he moaned, which made me twist my head to bury it in the pillow, concealing my cry of pleasure.
"Oh shit, I would have wanted that. I want that." He growled possessively, and my movements quickened as I listened to his breathing, which was getting quicker.
"Crap Cassie what are we doing?" It wasn't disgust or shock in his tone, but pure pleasure.
"I don't know, but I want it. I fucking want it." I growled, and I felt it building like it had when if been rocking against Will, the pleasure and tightness in the pit of my stomach.
"I need you right now. In a bus stop, on the bonnet of my car, against a lap post, I don't fucking care. I just want to feel how warm and wet you are right now." He sounded close, and I moaned again and again as I felt the wave crest, and I knew it was just a few seconds before I was plunged into that dark pleasurable abyss.
"I want you between my legs right now. Alec, I need you with me. I-" but I don't finish, because I'm being dragged into a spiral of pleasure, and I moan uncontrollably, crying out his name.
"Alec!" I cried out, my muscles twitching, and I heard Alec gasp, then moan. The thought of him coming to the sound of my orgasm makes me moan his name again. Alec moans louder this time, and a shiver runs down my spine.
"Cassie fuck! I've never come that hard in my life." He said breathlessly, and I bit my lip, drawing my hand away, and it came back sticky and wet. I wiped it down on my sheets, curling up in bed.
"Mmmm. Quick question, how drunk are you?" I teased tiredly, feeling light and comfortable. There was a pause, and I felt my breathing start to calm down again.
"Not at all." He said seriously, and I felt surprised.
"Oh." The word conveyed my shock perfectly, and he laughed.
"Why is it so hard for you to believe that people find you attractive?" He asked, and I giggled, smiling to myself.
"Because I'm not anything special." I answered, and he chuckled.
"We just had phone sex, which by the way doesn't happen a lot with me. You're my best friend Cassie, and you have to believe me when I say you're beautiful, alright? You're beautiful and sexy and... Special." His voice was cute and shy, and I felt my cheeks blush red.
"Alec, you know I really love you, don't you?" I asked, because I knew I didn't say it enough. We used to say it more, but then it just stopped as we got older.
"Love you too baby girl." He laughed, and I laughed too.
"Stay and talk to me." I whispered, hugging my phone against my cheek.
"Sure."
ohhh Alec and Cassie. Yay will and Cass are friends. So what do you think? Hmmm? Good? Literally she's so naughty. Lol, please review xx
