There are those moments in life that take your breath away and either leave you feeling over-the-moon happy or like you have just lost the most important thing in my life. Hearing Phil say those words left me breathless, it was like the feeling of falling down the stairs and missing the last step. But this time there was no floor to catch me, it was just me. On my own.

"Wait, what?" I finally say, trying so hard not to burst into tears and just run out if the room. "Yeah, it's like my best kept secret." He says, sitting back awkwardly, playing with his hair. "Oh. Right. Who is she?" "Um, she's really nice actually. Her name is Natasha and we've been dating for about six months." "Wow, I had no idea." "Thanks… I guess."

As a painful silence came upon us. I ran out of Phil's room and as I got out of his room I went to the room that the boys had let me sleep in. When I reached the room, I closed the door and threw myself onto the sofa. I let myself cry it out, after an hour, I hear a knock at the door "Jess, Jess! It's Phil, can I come in?" "Sure," "Dan's angry at me, just so you know." Phil says suddenly, turning to look at me. "What? Why?" I say, a little too loudly. "He thinks I should have told you about Natasha earlier." "Oh… Right." I wait for him to continue, wondering what he will say, "I agree with him, but I can't change things now. Anyway, you know now. Haha you should feel privileged that you know, barely anyone does." I feel sick as he laughs, a bit upset that he seems to find things funny when only minutes ago he broke my heart. "Can I meet her tomorrow?" I ask. "I'll go call her now and see if she can." "Okay."

A few minutes pass and Phil returns "she can come tomorrow at lunch is that okay?" "Yeah." I reply. After that he starts talking about something, but I go into a daydream "Jess?" I fall out of my daydream to see Phil repeating my name. "Jess? Do you?" I realise that I have completely blocked him out and he must have asked me a really important question and now he want an answer. I desperately search my mind for an answer to a question I haven't heard. "No, I don't." I answer, and it must have been the right thing to say because Phil's face turns into a relieved smile and he hugs me tightly. "Good," he whispers in my ear, sending shivers down my spine at him being so close to me, yet so far away from me.