I sat in trig feeling weird. I didn't know what brought on that strange feeling this morning. All signs of –for want of a better word –sadness were gone from my body. I was almost feeling ecstatic when I walked into the cafeteria. He was there in his seat where he always was. Maybe I was just getting excited because I wanted to see him. If that was true then I really needed to get some help. I was obsessing over someone who barely talked to me twice. Once I saw him, my overwhelming joy turned to nerves. Next was Biology. Why was I worrying so much? He'll probably act the same as the past month. Why would anything have changed?
My mind was elsewhere as it always seemed to be now. I avoided the seat by Mike to go and sit next to Angela Weber. She would let me eat in peace and leave me to my absurd thoughts. I kept thinking that I couldn't wait to talk to him but we weren't on talking terms anyway. Were we ever?
I looked at Angela. She was such a good friend to have. So quiet and she bombard you with evasive questions. She's a very happy and bright person. In order to take myself from my thoughts, I decided to talk to her.
"So how have you been Angela?" I asked in a friendly tone. I probably sounded friendlier towards Angela then I might have been with Mike or Jessica but I wasn't too concerned. Angela deserved to be treated nicely.
"Great! I get to babysit tonight. I want to take the twins to La Push but the weather here is too cold." She was quiet but cheerful all the same.
"Well that's good. I don't do much out of school except cook for Charlie and homework." I added a light-hearted laugh at the end so it didn't seem I was complaining. If it were someone else I probably would have complained though. Angela blinked, looking like she was thinking about something so I used this time to take a quick glance towards him. My heart accelerated when he looked at me and I thought I could see the corners of his mouth rise slightly into a gentle smile. I looked down, smiling myself until Angela looked at me.
"Maybe we could do something after school sometime." Angela suggested with a light shrug.
"I would like that." I replied with a smile and the rest of lunch was quiet for us. When I walked into Biology with Mike, he was already at our lab.
He was staring straight like usual. I sighed, no reason for today to be any different. I tried to keep telling myself.
Mike perched himself up on the end of my side of the bench. He'd been doing this a lot lately and sometimes it got a little uncomfortable though I suppose it was a little distraction from Edward. I was somewhat grateful to Mike's 'just friends' behaviour lately... until now.
"Jessica asked me to the dance next Saturday." Mike mumbled. I lifted my head from my drawing with surprise. Jess had finally asked him, now I could have some peace.
"That's great! You two should have a good time!" I enthused. Mike, however, made me concerned with his lack of joy.
"Yeah well, um, I told her maybe..." Mike looked down at his fingers. I hoped I was wrong about what I thought he was implying.
My eyebrows creased together. "Why would you do that?" I asked. I peeked out the corner of my eye and Edward's head was tilted slightly to my side.
"Because...well, I was, uh, wondering if you were planning on asking me?" It was exactly what I thought he was going to say. I sighed.
"I think you should tell her yes. I'm not actually going to be in town for the dance anyway, I'm going to Seattle." It was a great time for me to get some books and clothes.
Mike looked down at the ground and nodded sadly. He slid off the desk and went to his own. I just wish Mike and I could go one conversation without him asking me out. I bet we could be pretty good friends if he did that.
I went back to my doodling. I was drawing a rose absent-mindedly until the teacher walked in and started his lecture. I didn't bother taking notes this lesson. I knew everything, it sounded like an exact repeat from a lesson in Phoenix. It ended quickly and I stood –without a word– and packed my books into a pile.
"Bella?" I heard that sweet velvet-like voice say my name. I closed my eyes for a second, pulling it together, and answered. I refused to look into his melting honey eyes so I pushed my chair in.
"What? You're actually talking to me now?" I mumbled quietly. I could feel the hesitation and it made me look up. His eyes were pained and the corners of his mouth were pulled down to a frown.
"No I... I guess not." It didn't seem like him to be struggling for words. I wasn't about to be all gracious about this though. I picked up my books and walked hastily out of the room. Well tried to anyway. I tripped on the door stopper along the ground and my books fell out of my hands. I didn't even look at them and considered leaving them there. I did. I walked straight ahead and off to Gym.
