Welcome back! I do hope you are enjoying this fic so far, cause we ain't done yet! This is still rated M, I still don't own em', and perfectly in character isn't something I'm going for. I always try and update as soon as one review comes in for a chapter, it lets me know someone out there is still reading the fic. If you're enjoying this one, check out some of my other fics, which are all either Balthier/Vaan or Balthier/Basch.

Every Time I Search

Chapter 11: How did it come to this?

"You've been to see Captain Ronsenburg." Balthier's head snapped to the side at Cid's words. It had not been a question.

"He was not aware of my presence," he chose his words carefully, afraid of his father's wrath.

Cid did not bother to glance up, and continued to shuffle through the pile of papers on his desk, "A deal, Ffamran, is a deal. You were to stay away from him."

"I do not see why…"

Cid cut him off with a wave of his hand, "Go near him again and I will have him killed. You exchanged your freedom and your services for his life, and you will honor your part of the deal."

Balthier closed his eyes behind his heavy metal helmet. How had it come to this? How was it that he now found himself in his father's service, a judge once again, and Basch…his beloved Basch…He'd looked so broken when he'd seen him at the Sandsea. He'd been careful to stay in the shadows, careful that his love would not see him. It had been bad enough that Fran had seen him, poor Fran, how he missed her! How he missed them all…but that bridge was burned behind him. The only way to keep them alive was to stay away, Cid had made that more than clear, and Balthier knew that the old man meant it.

He supposed his father had known that he would follow the men who had kidnapped him, he'd known that Balthier would have to follow them to defend his honor, to have his revenge. And follow them he had. He'd followed them right into his father's trap. Days of torture and coaxing on his father's part had done nothing to sway him. He would not come back here, to his father's house. He would not pick up where he left off…serve his father and Vayne, help them to destroy everything he held dear. But Cid knew his audience well, and used the one thing he could to make him do whatever he wished. Basch. If he didn't do exactly what he was told…Basch was going to die. He hadn't even been allowed to say goodbye.

Not that Basch would even want him back now. He had been scarred before yes, but not like now. And of course there was his ever present limp to consider now. The bones of his leg had been twisted and broken during torture, and left untreated, had healed wrong. There was no fixing it now, he would never again swagger down the street in his own cocky way, he would only limp and hobble like an old man for the rest of his life. Not that that would be long. His depression had not helped the healing process, and being tortured so had made him weak. He had suffered from a constant fever these past few months, and he had lost enough weight that the heavy metal of his armor hurt him.

He didn't argue with Cid. He knew better than that, but perhaps now that he had seen his beloved Basch one last time he could move on with his life…he only prayed it would be short…all he had to look forward to now, was the peace of death.

"Perhaps it is you who have been drinking Fran," Basch spat as he flung himself down into the first chair he saw upon entering their apartment, "Balthier is DEAD! We all know that! And you know what else?" He pointed a finger at his chest, "it's all MY FAULT!" He let out a slurred, drunken laugh, "It's my fault! The only man I've ever loved is dead because of ME!"

Fran sighed and pulled him upright in the chair, "I saw him Basch. Plain as I see you now. He is ALIVE! And I intend to find him."

Basch narrowed his eyes and looked at her, "Fran, I wish that were true," he said, his tone becoming somber, "I would do anything for it to be true, but the fact is that we will never see him again."

Fran let her anger show and slapped the drunken knight as hard as she could across the face, "Shouldn't you at least try! If there is even a chance of finding him we have to try! Please Basch! I need your help."

"You really think you saw him don't you?"

"I know I saw him! And he saw me!"

He starred at her silently for a moment, "All right Fran. But I don't think you really saw him." He paused a moment with a faraway look in his eyes, "I hope what you say is true. I would give anything just to see him one last time."

"I will make the preparations. We leave at dawn," she gave his hand a reassuring pat before walking away.

He sat there for some time, the guilt building up in him again, as if often did when he thought of Balthier for more than a minute or so. He would probably never stop searching for him, looking up every time he heard the door to the Sandsea open in hope that Balthier would walk in, smiling. And every time he searched, he lost a little more hope, but he could feel a tiny spark of that hope ignite as he thought about Fran's story.

To Be Continued…

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