Danny was way too excited to function. That morning, he'd put his shoes on the wrong feet in anticipation of what was to happen. He had Lindsay's hand in his as they waited in the elevator to go up to the doctor's office.
"Does this count?" Danny asked quickly.
"Count as what?" Lindsay responded. In contrast to Danny's jittery happiness, Lindsay was tired and nauseated. She was scared to death of what awaited her, what news there was of the baby. She wished more than anything that he (she just knew it was a boy, she couldn't explain her reasons) were something she could hold in her hand, something she could touch and protect. She clutched the shirt covering her belly absentmindedly, worrying as each ping of the elevator sounded their ascent.
"Count as the doctor's office. Can I talk about …" he gestured to her stomach.
She smiled worriedly at him. "Yes, you can."
"Finally! How have you been feeling? I mean, I know it's only been two days since we talked about it – him -, but still. Does he kick? Can you feel him? Are you sick a lot? Should we buy baby clothes? A crib?"
"Danny, Danny, slow down! We haven't even gotten an exam done yet."
"But you're pregnant. We know that."
"Don't say that word," she said quickly.
He looked at her quizzically. "What's wrong with it?"
She closed her eyes. "Just don't."
He sighed. He'd found that he could do nothing once she'd gone into her 'clam-state,' when she closed her eyes and shut him out. He gave her hand a light squeeze.
The doors opened and they walked in.
The doctor said she would see them right away. She walked in not more than a few minutes after they did.
"Ms. Monroe? I'm Dr. Levine."
Lindsay nodded.
"When did you find out you were pregnant?" she asked.
Lindsay winced at the word. Danny took her hand again. She took a breath. "I suspected for about a month before I found out."
Danny straightened beside her.
"But I actually found out when I was in the hospital about four weeks ago. I got my test results back. They confirmed it."
Danny's foot tapped nervously. How had he missed that?
"What were you in the hospital for?"
Lindsay gulped. "I was … um … " she looked to Danny for help.
He cleared his throat and spoke up. "Lindsay was attacked by an unknown male. She had some internal bruising and a broken rib, as well as a couple of bruises on her face."
"I see that indicated on her file," Dr. Levine said slowly, reviewing the chart. "I also see you had an ultrasound at the hospital to check on the baby?"
Lindsay nodded.
"Everything seemed to be fine …" the doctor said, "Well, we'll just have another look."
When they left the exam room, Danny dragged his feet. "Do we have to go?" he asked as he hung around the magazine rack.
"I guess not. We could stay a little longer," she said, smiling.
He brightened and pulled her along to sit in the benches in the lobby outside of the office.
"So …" he said, putting his hands on his knees and leaning forwards. "How're you feeling about all of this?"
Her lip trembled. "I'm scared," she whispered.
He turned to her quickly, previously unaware of her feelings. "Linds," he said gently.
"I don't know what to do, Danny, I know I'm going to screw up."
"You can't screw up, Linds. It's not possible. You're going to be a great mother, and –"
"I had a miscarriage. A bad one." She took a shuddering breath to calm herself, but it didn't work. Tears started to drip from her eyes.
Danny leaned to her and kissed her temple, wrapping his arms around her middle.
"When was this?" he asked softly.
She turned her head away, suddenly very interested in the pale sunlight drifting in through the window of the lobby. "About five years ago."
"How did it happen?"
"I don't want to talk about it."
"Honey, -"
"No, Danny. I don't want to talk about it." She stood as though to leave, brushing her shirt down and wiping her tears with the back of her hand.
Danny tugged her back to him, gently pulling her onto his lap. She was limp in his arms, tired and lifeless. He guided her head to his shoulder.
"Just clear up one thing for me."
"Danny …"
"Just one little thing, and that's it for today. C'mon, Linds, I'm in the dark here."
She sighed and nodded.
"Does it have to do with the person who hurt you here?"
She nodded.
"So this person is back?"
Another nod, weaker this time.
"Well it ain't gonna happen again. So don't bother thinkin' it."
She chuckled and smiled. "OK," she whispered, her breath tickling his ear. "Can we go home?"
He pouted, looking like a three year old. Lindsay openly laughed. "Can we talk more about the baby tonight?" he asked.
"OK. Tonight."
They left the building happier and headed for a pharmacy Danny knew of around the block to get Lindsay's prenatal vitamin prescription filled.
As they crossed the street, Lindsay's eye caught on a figure. Not a menacing figure, to say the least, but a recognizable figure. The kind she never wanted to see again. His hands were stuffed into his pockets, and he stared at her with a gaze that melted her insides and set her nerves alight with fear. She shrunk into Danny's side, clutching at his shirt.
"Montana, watcha doin'? he asked jokingly.
"Give me your hat," she whispered to him.
He pulled it from his back pocket and put it on her head, bringing it low on her face. "Honey, you're freakin' me out a little."
"I …" She saw the figure move towards them. She pulled Danny down the sidewalk, moving quickly. He trudged behind her, only connected through the busy crowd by her hand, clutching his tightly.
Finally, he jogged up to her, pushing through the pedestrian traffic. They'd been walking quickly for nearly three blocks.
"Linds," he said, "tell me what we're doin' here."
She gave no response. She looked up, on her tiptoes, over the heads of the thick crowd. She saw the figure, still approaching, yet looking around as though he'd lost someone in the crowd.
Lindsay gave a sigh of relief and leaned against the wall behind her.
"What were you doing?" Danny asked. "Were you running away from someone?"
"Not now," Lindsay pleaded, pulling him to her. She kissed him hard, pushing memories out with the feel of his tongue.
He nudged the hat on her head up with one hand to kiss her deeper, cracking one eye to see what he was doing. He saw the figure in his peripheral vision, but thought little of it until the shape raised a fist.
Danny reacted quickly – breaking the kiss and wrapping his arms around Lindsay such that no part of her body faced the man.
The blow came down onto Danny's back, strong and swift. Danny forced himself to absorb the blow so as not to jolt Lindsay or the baby.
The second after he felt it, he whipped around and shoved Lindsay behind himself with one hand.
The man lunged at Danny in an attempt to side-swipe him and head for Lindsay, but Danny would have none of that. He blocked the guy with an outstretched arm and threw him back to the ground.
"Go inside," he grunted to Lindsay, pointing at the clothing store to his left.
"Danny, I want to –"
"NOW!" he shouted. He heard her leave, felt her flutter her fingers on his back as though telling him what she was doing.
He moved only after he heard the door chime and shut behind her.
