Penumbra
[Josh/Wendigo!Josh x Reader]
Chapter 10 [FINAL]
A/N: To all my reviewers, followers, favoriters and readers- thank you!
'Move on.'
Such plain words, yet they haunted you now like nothing else possibly could. If only you had heeded such wise advice, you wouldn't have found yourself in this terrible position.
About to, quite literally, be ravaged into little meaty chunks, by the boy who would have once sacrificed his final breath for you.
There was no sacrifice here, except for your own.
Didn't it come with the package though? You had envisioned yourself as the brave hero who didn't give up on a friend, someone who would save this poor little Wendigo-tinged puppy and bring him back home. Sacrificing yourself in the process? Well...that only made it all the more noble, surely. One for the history books.
Yet there was one problem with that little power fantasy of yours.
Fear.
A black and inky mass crawled and writhed inside of you, tensing your chest and holding your heart still. As his shadow fell over you, his tall form having finally made its way over to your smaller, trembling one...your limbs were taut and paralysed. He likely couldn't have felt it when his large, roughly skinned hand wrapped around your plush face and held it in a vice-like grip...but your skin was just as icy as his, and it wasn't just due to the temperature in the air.
Your blood was frozen.
Your body was frozen.
And time also seemed that way too.
It literally slowed down as you looked up into his eyes. Gone were those kind yet slightly mischievous orbs you knew. Now you saw nothing but a distorted cerulean hue, a mask of fog on each staring ball, through which you could catch nary a glimpse of any humanity.
His hand felt larger now, no doubt due to the thick and sharp nails he had grown. It engulfed your visage, and those nails themselves dug deep into your spongy cheeks, drawing forth a scarlet river of blood on one side, rivulets of red which dribbled down and dripped from the edge of your jaw. As if immediately intoxicated, Josh's lips parted, though it was hard to notice what with all those elongated teeth of his.
And he let out a moan, which would have aroused you once, but now did little but make you whimper.
He drew you close with his hand alone, your limp body stumbling towards his with ease. His grip shifted slightly so your cheek was fully exposed to him, and he pinched it to prompt forth more of that delicious liquid. His other hand cupped your hip, forcing you to stay pressed against him, even though you couldn't have left if you wanted to.
Your frightened eyes darted away from him for just a split second, but you saw enough. Hannah was crouched in the background, grinning sickly with that Cheshire Cat smile of hers. If she could have laughed with that rattled voice, she would have.
It was all a game to her, and what better way to win, than to let your own beloved boy eat you for lunch? It was almost hilariously twisted.
Josh leaned down close enough over you that you could feel his breath gracing your fresh little wound. Something long and moist dragged across it, and you realized he was licking you. It stung.
After a single taste of your blood, Josh was ready to take the plunge. His other hand shot up from your hip to your hairline, and yanked your head sharply to the side, at an angle which could have almost broken your neck, and seemed like it nearly did from the way you yelped.
Your soft and slender neck was fully exposed to him, veins bulging at the surface as it was forced into such a painfully bent position. He could practically see the cells swimming beneath the pale surface, practically waiting for him to drink them up. And he would...oh he would. Hannah was dead sure of that.
Eyes tearing up before eventually shutting, your senses were overpowered by the manner in which Josh was handling you, mingled only with the feeling of your own hot tears travelling down your face and joining the stream of hotter blood. Perhaps it had only felt like ice inside of you, for Josh's tongue was greeted with a sweet warmth as soon as he lapped it up. A sweet taste too, which seemed to sum you up perfectly.
His hold was rough. His free arm wrapped around your back, but it was more tight than snug, and definitely not for comfort. He just wanted to keep you there, just in case your weakened body was struck with a sudden bout of energy or anything. His hand tugging on your scalp was, of course, blindingly painful. Yet none of it really seemed to fully register with you, at least not enough to get a reaction. All you could feel was a single sorrow. A regret.
Why didn't I just 'move on'?
Because you're stupid.
What a hideous final thought.
Josh opened his maw slowly, deliberately, widely over your entire neck. A hot gust of air rushed over your skin, as his mouth lowered to it. Those signature teeth pressed down onto your flesh, threatening to pierce through it. And they almost did-
-But something made him...stop.
A memory of his own.
A girl. [H/C] hair and [E/C] eyes.
Nothing about you really...stood out that much. Not at first anyway. You were pretty, of course, but little else really...leapt out at him.
Until you opened your mouth. Until you took action.
You spoke so confidently, yet without arrogance. You were just as brave as Sam, perhaps even braver in some ways, even if you didn't wear the yoga pants. Yet you were sweet and vulnerable at the same time. You were such a perfect amalgamation of traits, and even your flaws (like your tendency to act first and think later) were rather endearing.
He was smitten...but trying to think.
Did he know you?
"This...doesn't make sense..."
"IGNORE IT JOSH!"
It really didn't. Why was he seeing this now? Who was this girl, and why had she appeared so suddenly in his mind's eye? He was trying to eat, for fucks sake.
She looked sad. She looked scared. That bravery seemed to have faded, and that meek little side of her was having a field day. He wondered what she was suddenly so afraid of. He wondered what could make her eyes go so wide, her lips tremble so. What could make her look so small...
"Who...who is she?"
"She's NOTHING! She's NO-ONE!"
She was someone...
Someone he knew well. Someone who had been there for a long time.
He sought a name, desperately so. Any name at all that would fit that face. The missing piece to this mental jigsaw he was playing.
If she were a stranger, he wouldn't be feeling this heat in his cheeks, this tingle on his skin, nor this heavy thumping in his chest. No...
...The only stranger here, was the one inside his head.
"JOSH!"
Blood trickled down her cheek. It pooled by her feet.
And he remembered.
Hannah had introduced you to him once. She had told him that you were her classmate, and something of a study buddy too. She had praised your intelligence openly, and he had watched you instantaneously deny it, flapping your hand around in a cartoonish manner and scoffing at the mere suggestion.
He had also watched that rosy hue growing in your cheeks the more you spoke with him, and the way your eyes averted from his so often, the way your voice slightly stumbled on a stutter you didn't usually have. You grew out of it fairly quickly, but he never forgot it.
It was hard to forget something that reminded him so much of himself.
[Y/N].
You made him nervous. You made him anxious. He always wanted your approval, yet didn't grovel. He would teasingly suggest and allude to things, but he always encapsulated these secret little confessions in terribly crafted jokes. He had always been too shy to be honest with you...even though a big part of him knew that you were exactly the same.
Kindred spirits, right?
Well, companions like that didn't up and eat each other, did they?
When Death was looming over you with such menace, yet still taking his sweet time to finish the job, it was hard to know exactly how to react. That whole saying of 'your life flashing before your eyes' didn't really seem so accurate now. You saw nothing. No sudden images. No sorrowful or regretful flashback reel. Nothing. You would think it rather anticlimactic, if you had been thinking at all in that moment.
Yet your mind was just blank. A white and empty canvas, a barren wasteland. Perhaps the privilege of seeing your short time on this earth in 35 mm was something reserved only for those whose end would come quickly. You knew yours would be gradual, and utterly agonizing to boot. Josh would take his time with you, you could tell that much already from the fact that your head was still attached to your neck.
It was certainly a dire time if the thought of decapitation seemed promising...
Even so...Josh was taking an awfully long time to do this. He had grabbed you so suddenly, started licking you like you were at 100th base, yet you were still alive in his hold. And with your eyes still closed, you could feel another strange thing.
A fresh, warm moisture was dripping onto your cheek, only adding to the mess of blood and tears that was already there. At first, you assumed it was maybe some sort of feral drooling on his part. Then you pondered the possibility of said liquid just being cave water that had dripped down from the ominously hovering stalactites above. But it was too hot for that...and as some dribbled to the corner of your mouth, you could taste salt.
Tears. Tears that weren't your own.
Though still frightened, and hesitant as hell, you slowly let your eyelids part, those tearfully twinkling orbs of yours settling on a dim darkness again, taking their time to adjust. Yet eventually, you could see that red light again. That beacon of hope.
Yet...though you looked for them, those spots of bright blue were gone.
Figures came into view again, gradually. One crouched, deformed, hideous. The other...well...you had always found him handsome. And even if his features were distorted so, you still saw him there. The same boy you had always known.
Crying.
His grip loosened, ever more and more, until it left you entirely, and your body flew down to the stone below. You caught yourself on the mine floor with a well-placed palm, and slowly turned your shocked gaze up to him again, your own eyes glimmering with similar emotion.
He looked so sad. He looked like he had regrets, big ones, and hell, no wonder. Yet with that simple, sorrowful look he gave you, while he looked out at your weakened body lying there at his feet, you immediately forgave him. Call it foolish, call it a romanticist ideal, but some part of you knew that he was there again.
He had vanished for a while, but he was there.
And that boy you knew narrowed his eyes soon enough, turning his sharp and menacing gaze round and onto a different target entirely.
Hannah.
The Wendigo girl let out a low and guttural grumble in her elongated throat. Her haunches lowered further to the earth, as she seemed to be coiling herself up like some sort of fleshy spring, ready to pounce on Josh with teeth and all the moment he took a single step towards her. Whatever sibling love that had still lingered there before was gone now. Merely two opponents, who both wanted to win badly.
And perhaps you were the prize in this situation. Josh wins, you are spared, and get to escape with the man you came here for in the first place. Hannah wins...well, the obvious was obvious.
With salted moisture still staining his pallid cheeks in grey trails, Josh rushed towards her in a blur of blue. You watched as he left you in his dust, his speed alone in that moment proving to be utterly mesmerizing. Even if his human side, his moral judgement had returned, he still retained those bold Wendigo qualities. And in the current circumstance, they could possibly prove to be an advantage...
Then Hannah's arm met his stomach, and you watched his once strong and bull-like body go flying like a sodden ragdoll into the nearest uneven wall. His body hit it with a sickening crack, though with his strength and thickened skin, he probably didn't break any muscles. Still, to call this a decent situation would be the lie of the century.
"JOSH!"
You cried when you saw him crumble, but realized your err when Hannah's terrifying eyes darted over to your figure. Of course...she had to claim her 'prize' after all.
Watching her rush towards you, you understood how it must have felt to be in her position just moments ago. But unlike her, you were without any defence. You were so weak...you had never felt so weak in your life as when you stood there, and watched her gangly and twisted figure making a darting path straight for you. Her yellowed claws stretched out for you as she took one last leap from the ground, breaking out of her run and into a full on jump. Her body splayed out before you, and it would have looked almost comical, had it not been the most frightening moment of your life.
I'm going to die.
You were sure of it.
Yet fate intervened again, your luck given a sudden and unexpected extension as Josh's hand snatched around Hannah's ankle and yanked her back away from you. Her hovering body was sent flipping back into part of the metal fence, denting it beyond practicability with a heavy CLANG. Thankfully, he had managed to recover from the initial attack, and though winded, he still managed to shout one word to you, eyes as wide and almost as scared as your own.
"GO!"
Go. Go? Go where?
Away from here? And leave him?
Just abandon the guy who you had come all this way for, been through all that shit for, in order to save?
Yes, you were utterly terrified. But you were still you.
And 'you' was a stubborn person.
As soon as you shook your head, Hannah sprung forth from the shadows again and landed on his back. Josh gasped as he was pinned to the stone with a THUD, dust clouds billowing up around their wrestling bodies. He continued to cry for you to leave while he struggled with her, but you knew you couldn't. You would never forgive yourself if you did. This would all be for naught.
Once upon a time, you had ventured out into the woods in search of a ravenous Wendigo, with only Chris and a Flamethrower Man to accompany you.
...Flamethrower...
Your eyes suddenly widened. This mine was defunct, sure, but that Stranger had patrolled it for many years since. Mike had mentioned how the late mysterious man had stored his things (and his wolves) up at the Sanatorium. That probably didn't mean there was much to find down here, but surely he kept spares of some sort.
Hedging your bets, you stumbled around in the darkness, using only the light from the elevator and your eyes' best abilities to see where you were going. Josh and Hannah continued to scrabble among themselves, with your mutual enemy kept busy enough to allow you at least a fraction of time for searching. Considering you had almost died just moments ago, it was more than you could ask for.
Your hands frantically scrambled through the dirt around you, as you haphazardly half-crouched your way along. It was hard to get your bearings when there was so little light, and when what light there was was such an obnoxious colour. But just thinking of Josh getting killed in his current confrontation was enough to make you persevere. You didn't have time to complain or struggle on your path. You didn't have time to be picky about what you touched, even if it ended up being a dead body. You were going to find something.
You would save him.
Yet your luck seemed to have run out. Even behind the fences and little nooks and crannies, you found nothing of use. No flamethrower, no torches, not even a sizeable stick to which you could tie part of your clothing. You would struggle to light something like that anyway, given that there was no fuel or any sign of even the smallest lighter.
Nothing.
You heard Josh let out a cry of pain just as you were about to give up, and knowing you had to think fast, you decided to leave it and just go back with balls alone. As you stood up properly again and readied to rush off, you nearly tripped over something hard, which made clang when the toe of your shoe met it. Looking down and squinting, you saw, half-buried in the darkness, that broken ladder.
Which made you a little nervous, considering you remembered seeing it being rather close to a gaping pit. Yet it would probably serve as some sort of rusted weapon at least, so you knelt down and picked it up, brushing your fingers against something hard and plastic in the process.
Frowning, you lifted the ladder up from the dirt a little, and while your occupied arm ached with the strain (you hadn't expected the thing to be quite so heavy), your free hand felt around, eventually settling around that plastic object again, clasping it and lifting it up to your face.
It was light in your grip, and seemed innocent enough at first. Yet as you held it closer to your gaze, you could make out the shape of it. Like a gun. A flare gun.
You almost gasped with delight, but caught yourself. You didn't want to alert Hannah (even though from the sounds of it, things were still going on her end), but more importantly, you didn't want to get your hopes up. That was a bad habit to adopt in a place like this. It had probably been used already, if it was lying here like this.
Unless someone dropped it.
Either way, it was either this, or the ladder. Given how your other arm felt like it was just about ready to fall off, the choice was fairly obvious.
You just hoped that Plan A worked. Because that was all you had.
Josh grunted again as Hannah's claws dashed and gashed through his skin, her sharp touch being polished enough to cut through even the thickest Wendigo flesh. It made him wonder just how many of her own kind she had killed. It was clear she stood at the top.
He coughed when she flipped him over again, his already wounded back hitting the ground hard again. Of course, all these injuries would heal eventually, but his body had too much to focus on in the moment to worry about that. Even the pain was becoming secondary to his desired victory. All he kept thinking of was you. How he never wanted to see you looking so scared again, either because of him, or Hannah. And he knew who was the bigger risk.
Hannah bared her teeth even more than usual, which was quite the feat, as she unhinged her jaw and roared angrily at him. Josh barely flinched, too used to the monster already inside of him. But his eyes did widen when he looked past his opponents' face, and saw you standing over her.
"Get off him..."
You hissed lowly, even though your voice still shook some. It was a worthy effort nonetheless, and it certainly got her attention.
All you saw was a flash of her eyes as she leapt for you.
All you heard was Josh yelling your name.
And all you saw was a bright flash of red.
…
Dusk.
You had never realized how mesmerizing it could be. Mostly because you'd typically be curled up under the sheets of your bed at this time of day. That kind of mundane life seemed so distant now after all that had happened, but maybe one day you'd be able to feel that kind of comfort again.
Your breath steamed up the cable car glass a bit while you leaned close to the window and gazed at the setting sun. Slowly you raised your sleeve to the moisture and dabbed it away, before yawning sleepily, and turning away when the light hit the horizon and grew too bright to handle.
Beside you, Josh sat there. You kept pinching yourself, wondering how the hell, and if you really had managed this. It felt like a dream, and the dimming light was doing little to help. It was freezing in the car, it hurt to even sit down, but your body felt numb to any kind of minor discomfort like that. The fact that it was even running this smoothly, and that you could see the bottom station steadily approaching in the distance, was enough to make you happy.
Besides the obvious. Even though it didn't quite feel real yet, you were beyond glad to have Josh back with you. Of course, his Wendigo features were still hellishly prominent, something which you figured you could fix with a balaclava, which you were sure you'd find among the ski-equipment at the base. Yet even though he looked far from it, something about him looked surprisingly human, as he sat there and stared ahead in a daze.
When you had both initially emerged from the mine, his eyes had barely been able to handle the light of the ending day. However, they had cleared a little now, and he merely seemed encapsulated by the sight before him. It had to feel good, to finally leave that filthy mine behind, to feel fresh air on your skin. Even as you had both trudged through the snow in silence, not sure what to say about what had just happened, only wanting to leave as quickly as possible...there had been an air of tranquillity about it.
He wasn't upset about what you did to Hannah. In fact, it seemed as if he had already given up on her. As if he had finally come to terms with the fact that she simply wasn't there any more.
A flare couldn't kill a Wendigo, so that twisted version of her would likely remain up there on Blackwood Mountain for years to come, feasting on deer and searching for souls, watched only by the dead eyes of her rotting sister. It was a little sad, but you didn't feel pity for her. Hannah died that night at the lodge. Simple as.
You had your memories. Now it was time to take Josh's advice.
Speak of the devil, he finally, wearily, looked over at you. In the remaining sunlight, he gained a little colour in his skin, and you began to see more and more that you recognized. When he gazed at you, you could see that his appearance was also improving. Just gradually, tiny little details like his teeth looking a little shorter, his eyes actually showing pupils again, the suture in his mouth shrinking slightly. Again, not much, but he was actually able to smile softly while he looked at you.
And when he spoke, you were surprised to hear his voice as clear as a bell. No broken speech, no guttural croak.
"...Thank you..."
A few tears pricked around your eyes, and you quickly looked down to blink them away. It wasn't time to get soppy. You had both been through the emotional grinder for long enough today.
When you looked back up at him again, you smiled too.
"No problem. But really, I should be thanking you." You sighed slightly, and reached over, resting your hand on top of his thigh. The fabric was slightly damp.
"You saved me from Hannah, and from yourself. Hell-" You chuckled in slight disbelief, squeezing his leg. "-I don't even know exactly why you stopped. You were this close to eating me..."
Josh still struggled to find some of the words, but since his spoken word was improving already, he managed to talk competently with enough concentration.
"I stopped because...I...saw a girl I...didn't recognize. Not just...because of the Wendigo thing...even when I knew it was you...you weren't the same...brave girl...I knew. And I realized that...I had made you that way. As I had changed, so had you. And I had to stop myself. I couldn't bear to see you like that." He looked you straight in the eyes. "I wanted my brave and...and beautiful girl back. That's why I...stopped."
Call it cliché, but when he said that, your heart just about flew out your throat. It was a little strange to be seduced by a half-Wendigo, but when it was Josh, you weren't complaining. Josh calling you 'beautiful'...was something you could have only imagined before. Now he was really saying it, and you weren't quite sure how to appropriately react.
So you awkwardly stuttered:
"H-hey, am I in a Korean drama or something? Seriously, this is next level romantic."
Josh smirked, just slightly, and let out a sound that was close to a chuckle. His hand rested atop yours, giving it a squeeze just like you had held his thigh. His palm was cold, but you didn't mind. It warmed up soon enough thanks to you, as you let go of him and turned your hand around to embrace his.
Holding hands. Adorable.
But really, that was what you wanted. You were done being the tough girl for a while. Fuck it, you deserved a sickly sweet sunshine relationship after all you had been through, Josh too.
But you knew you wouldn't have that. Not with him.
Though the air and the light and your own company and comfort was doing wonders for Josh's state, neither of you knew how far that would go. While his wounds would heal, there was still a good chance that he would never fully recover physically, and even if he did, the memories and mental damage would always be there. It was the same in your case.
And for the others too...
"...I...never got to ask you...but...how are the rest of...the guys?" Josh seemed to read your mind.
Biting your lip, you hesitated slightly, before letting out another sigh and looking straight ahead. The station was still a ways yet.
"Well, let's see here." You hummed, before continuing. "None of us really did so well after what happened. I mean, we were really happy to be alive, and lucky for that matter. But it really took a toll on us all."
Your eyes glazed a little.
"Matt and Emily are at odds with one another, because apparently he abandoned her in the mine or something. But it turns out that Emily is pregnant, so I'm guessing they had some fun at the cable car station, or something-"
You paused to look at Josh, who seemed unfazed. Yeah. Emily getting pregnant wasn't really surprising. It was more surprising that she hadn't fucked Mike and caused a Dr. Phil style feud among the three of them.
"-So yeah, even though they hate each other, they're probably gonna have to stick together now. Matt's a good guy, he's not going to abandon his kid."
Josh let out a disgruntled grumble, and you nudged his arm with a pout.
"Hey come on, no more of that. Anyway...you'll be glad to hear that Chris and Ash hooked up. So your plan sort of worked...in the end. Plus it means I'm not at risk of any Chris action either."
You studied his reaction, and were happy to see what looked like a smug smile tugging at the corners of his broken lips.
"And that leaves Mike. Well, he's off the table too, since Jess was really messed up after the incident-" Your expression turned solemn. "The scars on her face will never heal-"
You hesitated to call Josh lucky,
"-It's such a shame, she was so pretty before. She's still pretty now, don't get me wrong, but I know she's really upset about it. At least Mike is loyal as all hell. He hasn't left the hospital for a single minute."
Your Wendigo companion seemed pretty chuffed to hear that you weren't going to be swept up by any other handsome prince, though you knew that the final update wouldn't be easy for him to swallow.
"...Sam..." You clasped your hands and stared down at your quivering fingers. "...She...she's not the same."
Josh tensed, and you carried on.
"She's not the same now. It all...everything really messed with her head. Even when she smiles, she doesn't look right. There's something in her eyes...Anyway, she's seeing a psychologist at the moment, but I don't know how much of a help he is to her."
You bit your bottom lip.
"I guess all we can do is just...hope that she gets better."
There was a bitter silence for a moment, but Josh nodded, conceding to that fact. Sam was as much his friend as she was yours, and the both of you had always been close with her. But if the two of you could escape an overpowered Wendigo and an entire maze of mines together, then maybe there was a chance...
The station was close now. Deciding to lighten the mood, and take what chance you had, you leaned a little closer.
"Anyway, I'm all yours now. So..."
He blinked, and leaned just a tad closer too. His voice was soft, almost a whisper.
"So..."
You couldn't believe you were doing this. Giving his hand another tight squeeze for confidence, you simply took the plunge.
"We're alone together...the sun is setting. It's all very romantic..." You were close enough that your nose was brushing his.
"Just in case the cable car falls and we burn in a fiery wreck, maybe you should kiss me now."
Josh flushed. He went such a healthy shade of beet red that it was actually really reassuring.
"Are you...sure you want to...kiss me like this? I mean..." He indicated his teeth, and you let out a faux half-hearted sigh, letting go of him and sitting back again.
"Well if you didn't want to, you could have just sai-"
He pulled you back over before you could finish, your chest slamming up against his, and your lips only inches away. Though still a little flustered, Josh closed his eyes, and you smirked. His honest side could be very submissive at times.
Leaning up, your lips delicately pressed to his. Despite his ruined jaw, it was a soft, sweet kiss, and you couldn't feel any teeth or taste any blood. His hand caressed your cheek and pulled you a little deeper into it, curling around the back of your neck, without any clawing sensations.
Any other person might have been afraid to open their eyes again. To realise that what they imagined was still a partial monster. But not you.
When the cable car reached the station with a rocking clunk, and your lips parted, your eyes opened and settled on him again. Yes, he was still the way he was...with his Wendigo eyes and his Wendigo teeth and his Wendigo claws.
But you knew it right then and there...
You didn't care.
A/N: Observant readers will notice that I changed the canon slightly in regards to the flare gun. I wanted Reader-chan to use this during the finale, since a torch and oil would have been a little anticlimactic (and a flamethrower would have been way too convenient/ridiculous XD). In the game, if Emily keeps the flare gun, Matt dies, and if Matt keeps it, he uses it in self defence. I always felt this was a pretty unfair choice, since it's especially opaque to first-time players. So, I've made it that Emily took the flare gun (dropping it when the ladder broke), but Matt still survived, either by running from the Wendigo or just not encountering it at all.
It was kind of refreshing to give the Reader some personality and backstory in this case. I normally don't do this to such a degree, but I think it was necessary for this fic. After all, I have to justify why anyone in their right mind would go back to that mountain, even for Josh's sake. So, I made her brave, and it became more of an integral theme than I initially intended, but I was happy with that. Even if she's not relatable to everyone, I hope you as the real reader were still able to feel immersed. I suppose it's the feeling you get when you play the actual game.
Also, I typically write from female perspectives (because I'm a girl), but I may dabble in male or gender neutral Readers in the future. Some male readers have apparently really enjoyed this fic though, so I'm happy to hear that :) I'd like to think my work is accessible to everyone. Except people who hate Rami Malek. Who I refuse to believe exist, and if you do, then get out.
A quick note on the title too- Penumbra. A penumbra is basically a partial shadow, like an eclipse. There's light there, but also a lot of darkness. I think that's an apt analogy for Josh's physical and mental state in this fic.
I also wanted to end this somewhat happily. There's still a lot of uncertainty about the future, and it's quite clear that Josh will never be the same again, but I just couldn't bear to end it on a sad note. He deserved to escape :')
Anyway, thank you for all the support! Look forward to the next fic~
