A/N: As promised we pick up right where we left off! I'm hoping you enjoy this one! Hold on though, there's a lot of drama. More OMG moments than an episode of Hollyoaks maybe? Eek…!

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2016 – June- The Night Before the Wedding – Ste

Rasps of breath pounded through the silence. Ste's knuckles gripped white against the head railings of the bed, the one he'd bought cheap in some department store with Adam. Across these sheets they'd talked of the future - very little of the past – they'd shared breakfasts and stories of their day, they'd talked about mortgages and held each other. Ste's eyes drifted to the bedside table where a photo sat framed and staring at him. A sunny day in the park – a nice day. And then Ste had come home, showered and left for a night shift. Except it hadn't been a night shift at work. After a nice day with Adam, he'd driven to an out of town hotel and had his arms pinned above his head, body arched and had been fucked mercilessly by Brendan. Then after that he'd slept within the solid muscles of Brendan's arms, dreaming of a world where it was just the two of them.

Nothing in the bedroom made him think purely of Adam and their secure life, nothing in his life was free from an association with Brendan. Brendan lived inside him, always.

Brendan's hands had a night-air chill to them against the bath water smoothness of Ste's skin. Ste had his knees apart, spine curving like a slide. The metal clink Ste heard meant Brendan stood bare from the waist down, but Ste could see nothing, only feel the disarming pressure of his hands – flat palms – rubbing circles into his arse cheeks, separating him at the seam with a gentle pull of his thumbs. The hot bath water had made him extra sensitive but so relaxed that Brendan could ease in the tips of two fingers with just saliva and patience. Ste groaned into the skin of his own forearm, tearing his teeth into the flesh, feeling Brendan's fingers break the resistance his body began with. Using his free hand, Brendan played lightly over the skin of his cheek, pinching the fleshier parts and teasing the route of his fingers by running them across the tops of Ste's thighs.

There was a sick form of respect he had in not wanting Brendan rooting through their drawers to find lube and Brendan seemed to sense it too, grunting as he knelt onto the bed and slicked Ste with his tongue. He lingered, rolling moans of vowels with wet persistence, and letting the soft hairs of his moustache brush against Ste's skin. Ste felt his insides summersault, body caving to the ticklish exploration of his mouth. One of his hands left the railing of the bed and he let himself masturbate to the speed of Brendan's tongue. Brendan seemed to get off on the display, breathing hotly into him and groaning.

Brendan was on him then, pushing down on his shoulders until his head flattened on the pillow and stretching out Ste's arms until he had been spread open like a depraved angel. The weight on the bed shifted and Ste felt this clamp of fear like he always did around Brendan. It wasn't that he was scared of him – no – he was scared of the way Brendan made him feel. There'd be times where he felt so close to euphoria he'd be happy to die.

A shadow passed over his body and Brendan kissed his shoulder blades and the back of his neck, murmuring his name. Every nerve felt tight in anticipation, so much so it was like he stopped breathing as he listened to Brendan finally strip and cover up with a condom. When Brendan's cock tapped against the crease of him, Ste rocked back, instinctively rubbing up against him like scratching an itch.

"Easy boy," Brendan said through his teeth, squeezing a hand of him.

When that first inch of him entered, Ste grappled with the initial spike of pain, breathing through it. Brendan always took getting used to but despite his passion, he never rushed. Ste's moan gargled as a wave of pleasure hit, stunned with his mouth slack.

"Good, good," Brendan said, angling the force of his hips and thrusting in one swift and deep motion.

Flecks of saliva appeared on the pillow next to Ste as he vocalised his curses, clawing his fingers into the bed sheets. Every cry came in affirmation that Brendan knew exactly how to fuck him, how to set every nerve alight. His thrusts toyed in a limbo between deep and shallow and just as Ste had settled into the ease of that rhythm, he switched – pouring every brute of energy into him. Ste felt breathless with insanity, losing grip on who he was and what he was doing, every sensation blinded him. Brendan's punishing speed and roughness came with a smooth confidence, one of relentless ecstasy, one that left Ste gasping for breath. He reached up, clutching onto the bed railings and squeezed his eyes shut. The weight of Brendan's orgasm pressed deeply into him but with it came the push and pull of a man who wasn't ready to give up yet. He felt Brendan reach over the top of him and pick up the framed photo besides the bed. He hurtled it to the ground, the glass smashing and then returned to finishing what he'd started, fucking Ste until he came, growling darkly into his ear: You like that? The possession in that move should have upset or scared Ste but instead he found himself flipped onto his back, cum leaking across his belly. He lost track of where Brendan had binned the loaded condom because all he could focus on was Brendan's fist jerking him off until he'd reached the blackest part of oblivion.

Brendan kissed him, stickiness everywhere.

He hovered above Ste, pressing their foreheads together. "I love you, Steven," he said, his words strained under a tightness in his throat and the thud of recovering blood.

"What?" Ste said, the words disappearing under a wheeze of breath. Brendan's naked body was pressed up against his. He could feel every brush of hair, every muscle. They shared a heartbeat.

"I love you."

Ste clenched his face trying to make sense of what he was hearing. Brendan's face was damp and lined with earnest. There was something frighteningly fragile about him. Unexpected. Normally after the animalistic sex he curled soft into something docile and sleepy, not this – never this.

Ste reached out and touched his face. Was this desperation talking? Possession? The orgasm talking? He couldn't think from the hum that his body was making only seconds from coming. He'd skydived and the earth had appeared closer than ever, jolting him out of the high.

"Why are you telling me this now?"

He snapped, the docile tiger chased out of the room. "Because I want you to suck my dick. What do you think?!" He sat up.

"You can't just tell me that, not tonight!"

"What do you want me to do, Steven? Crash the wedding?"

Ste saw what this had been about. Not just a reminder of his existence, not just sex. This was Brendan trying to stop him from marrying Adam in the best way he knew how. The only way he knew how. And only now he was starting to be honest.

"Love me?" Ste repeated, voice cracking. Of course he'd felt it too. Years and years ago and never said it knowing the ripples of destruction it could cause.

Brendan forced his lips onto Ste's, heat transferring in the pressure. Their mouths came apart in a moment of softness and Brendan's shaky hand cradled his face. Ste looked down, not wanting to ask the question that would confirm the future but knowing he needed to. "Would you leave your wife to be with me?" He picked at dry skin on his fingers knowing he couldn't bring himself to look at Brendan when he answered.

"Leave my wife?" Brendan sounded incredulous. Ste felt a coldness seep in between them. "Leave my kids? That's…that ain't gonna happen. I can't. I ain't the sorta bloke who -"

Ste scoffed. "Who what, Brendan? Who fucks me whenever he can? Who sends me texts in the early hours begging?! Who tells me he loves me!"

"And what, you'd leave him for me would you?" Brendan said, gesturing at the obliterated photo on the floor.

"Clearly it doesn't matter what I'd do," Ste said, clambering out of bed and finding something to put on. "You've got no intentions of giving me any kind of future! You've made it clear what you think of me. What am I meant to do, eh? Hang around and be your bit on the side forever?!"

"What do you want me to do, Steven? Have a coming out party? Introduce you to my kids as my boyfriend?! I have a wife. A family."

The spite in his words stung Ste across the face and he steeled his expression, feeling tears swell behind his eyes. "You don't love me," Ste said shaking his head. "You just want me for sex."

Brendan had followed Ste's example and already had pulled on his jeans. "And you're so perfect, are you? Jumping into bed with me the night before your wedding."

Ste shook off that guilt and accusation. "You know what the difference is right? He actually loves me. He'd do anything for me. You won't even tell the truth for me. You can't."

"I've told you the truth already."

"It's lies."

"What more do you want me to say, Steven? You knew the deal when we started. You knew what you were doing."

"Yeah and here's me, proper idiot, thinking things change, thinking that one day you might've woken up and realised that I'm the one you wanted." Ste cringed at his own naivety when he said it.

"You are." He tried clinging onto Ste, drawing his fingers on his chest. Fully dressed now, he forced himself to steel up. "But I ain't leaving them."

"Then we can't be together. That's it. Done." Ste wiped his face realising he'd let a few tears slip down his face. He crumpled, face wrecked by the pain. "You know I'd leave him for you. You know." His breath hitched with emotion and he tried to push out the startled look on Brendan's face as his words came out in something that sounded like a beg. "But you'll never leave her. You're not brave enough."

Brendan grew riled with Ste's accusatory tone and pushed up close to him, threateningly. "You haven't got a clue about me or my life. Everything's so easy for you."

It isn't, Ste thought, knowing he could never have the man he really wanted. "Just go," he said to Brendan, giving into his tears. "I don't ever want to hear from you again. You got that, yeah? Never."

"Loud and clear," Brendan said from the hallways, voice devoid of anything but coldness.

Ste heard the front door slam and after a moment's anguished cry he got to work stripping the bed and showering. Starting afresh. He erased Brendan's number from his phone and cleared away the smashed photograph.

::

June – The Day of the Wedding – Brendan

It didn't matter to Brendan what the guy looked like, but of course he'd gravitated towards the young and the fair. The one whose bones were a choking reminder. The one who wasn't quite there but good enough. He'd fought pain his whole life in the same two ways and it wasn't going to be an exception. Drink after drink and a shot for the lad in the corner making eyes. The one that with just enough alcohol blur had a sweet enough mouth.

He was proving Steven right, exactly right, that he'd just been a warm fuck and he could be erased and replaced. Just like he was erased and replaced at two thirty when the register would have been signed. Mr and Mr Queer. And if he could do this, sliding fingers into the lad's hair and tongue into his mouth then it proved he never loved Steven at all. It was that easy.

And when it happened, it was easy. Quick.

Empty.

::

Ste

"Everything okay?" Adam asked, sliding his newly ringed hand onto Ste's shoulder. They'd only been married five hours and already Ste felt suffocated. He'd gone outside for some air, some peace from Adam's family.

Ste glossed on a smile. "Course. Just tired. It's been a mad day. "

Adam slid his arm around Ste's middle, nuzzling his lips playfully against Ste's ear. "You made me the happiest man alive today."

"Me too," Ste said, turning in Adam's arms and kissing him - slow and gentle on the lips. He breathed in deeply through his nose. He'd spent so much of the day holding back on tears that he just willed himself to be happy and not mess things up. Of course Adam made him happy and the day had gone perfectly. No drama, full of love – it's all anyone could hope for. He drew away from the kiss and teased him. "When are the guests gonna bugger off so we can get on with the fun bit?" He sucked in Adam's lip between his teeth, biting gently but letting it free when he saw Adam wasn't totally on board.

He wiped away the frown with a wide smile, raising his eyebrows. "What's gotten into you?"

"Just happy," Ste said, lying.

"Come and have another natter with the in-laws then. Now that you're Mr Wallace-Hay."

He piled the grin back on. Adam's parents hadn't taken to him. He remembered their faces falling when they heard he was a nurse rather than a doctor and that he couldn't contribute any money to the wedding. And since when had he said he was going to take Adam's name?

On the way to see the Wallace's, Amy had tugged at his arm. "Everything alright?" she asked.

"Why does everyone keep asking me that?"

He looked at Amy, eyes widen and face sharp. "Cos you look like you're at a funeral not your own wedding!"

He faked a cheesy grin for her benefit.

"Please tell me this has nothing to do with you-know-what."

"I told you that was done ages ago."

"Good," she said, although her tone suggested she didn't believe him.

He saw Adam beckoning him over to see old Granny Eustace; he picked up the corners of his mouth. "If you'll excuse me…"

Brendan

It wasn't difficult to find. Steven had never been secretive or subtle – surprising really that he'd kept his mouth shut for so long.

The car guzzled up the petrol as he sat, watching guest after guest leave, his stomach churning. He'd left the little scrote from the gaybar wanting round two and driven here drunk, preying on the hotel reception where Steven was. A married man now.

When he finally saw the happy couple, cheered out of the hotel and kissing each other for approval, Brendan left his car and staggered over. He acted as just a passer-by, a stranger witnessing a happy moment.

"Hey congratulations!" he said, slurring his words as he crossed their path.

Terror filled Ste's eyes and he pushed Adam in the direction of the car. Adam oblivious and almost as drunk as he was, grinned dopily. "Thanks mate!" he said, a brief look of confusion passing his face.

"You make a great couple," Brendan said, stumbling away and feeling Steven's look of warning and misery score into his soul.

Declan

Brendan had left his laptop open earlier in a hurry to leave and with his mum and Paddy out, Declan was left alone to babysit. With the opportunity to look at his father's secret phone gone, he opened up his emails and headed straight for the Sent folder knowing his dad wouldn't have thought about leaving a trail online – he was rubbish at those things.

Through the work emails and work contacts, he saw a bunch of emails sent in quick succession to the same contact – named with just a mysterious S. There hadn't been any emails sent for over about ten months but he opened one.

Date: 3/9/15

To: S

Subject: (none)

You know I'm the boss. It's what you like, you said so yourself last night…

Declan swallowed down the clench of sickness he felt and clicked the next one from the same day.

Keep talking like that and I'm going to have to leave work early. What time do you get off? I could come pick you up and we could continue what we started last night. I wasn't done with you yet.

It was a compulsion now. Maybe it was just nothing, just flirting with a random stockist woman he'd met.

You forget I know what drives you crazy. Maybe your boyfriend hasn't noticed those teeth marks yet but I can go a bit harder next time. I know you like it hard. Harder and harder you said.

Declan gulped down the bile he felt realising his dad was cheating on his mum. If he was going to confront him he needed evidence. He needed the upper hand. He could already imagine how devastated his mum would feel and he found himself tearing up at the thought of it. Maybe he could just threaten his dad; he couldn't face his mum finding out. He tried to be optimistic, that his dad would say it was already over and had been all those months ago. He didn't want his dad ditching the family for some tart. He clicked another email, one final one. It was all he could bear.

We'll have to see about that. But first I'm gonna lick you wide open and then suck that thick little cock of yours until you can't breathe.

Declan stumbled over the words, checking that he'd read them right and feeling his stomach heave. A guy? His dad was sleeping with a man.