Chapter Eleven: Sorry
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Original characters belong to Kripke. Lucky fuck.
I will stand accused with my hand on my heart.
I'm just tryin to say I'm Sorry.
It's all that I can say
You mean so much and i'd fix all that i've done
If I could start again
I'd throw it all away
To the shadows of regret
And you would have the best of me
Best Of Me – Sum 41
Previously on Because You Loved Me:
"Stop...Please." Sam whispered to Castiel, shifting where he stood. Both men looked at him and Dean scoffed "What? Don't want me to hurt your new fuck?" Dean snarled, stepping closer and Castiel went to block him as he reached out to grab Sams arm. How dare that asshole try to stop me from touching whats mine. Dean shoved the angel away, after punching him in the stomach and grabbed Sam then, yanking him to him. Sam gasped at the bruising grip on his arm, and shook his head as Castiel went to defend him. Tears were welling in Sams eyes as he tried to pull away from his brother. "De...Stop please!" Oh now you want to beg? To late Sammy boy. "Was he good Sam? Was he better then me?" Dean demanded, shaking his brother. "De! Please! You're hurting me!" Sam cried out, jerking away when Dean let go as if burned and his brother fled to the corner. Shit! Sammy I'm so sorry! Dean thought in his mind, not that it did any good. "Sammy...-" "Leave!" Castiel snarled, stepping between them. "You've done enough damage." Oh how wrong you are. I've not even started with you angel boy. Dean smirked then "I'll leave, after I kill you." He stepped closer, pulling out the angel blade as he did. Castiel didn't notice, but Sam did.
Now:
Sam didn't know what to do, he watched in horror as Dean advanced on Cas with the angel blade tucked up behind his arm. Hidden from the angels sight. He shifted where he stood, green eyes staring into the face of his big brother, cringing at the rage he saw there. A twitch in Deans arm alerted to Sam that he'd shifted his hold on the blade, and now he'd grabbed the angel by the shoulder. Castiel still didn't notice the blade. Bolting forward he reached out, grabbing Deans wrist of the hand that held the Angel blade and tugged, placing his other hand on Deans opposite shoulder. Sam forced his brother to turn, pulling his grip from Castiel as the glare was turned on him. "Castiel, get out of here!" Sam shouted, digging his fingers into Deans shoulder and wrist as he tried to restrain his brother.
Castiel shot a confused look at Sam, and Dean jerked his arm free from Sams grasp. The angel blade twisted around as he lunged, blade aimed for Castiels chest when Sam shoved the angel backwards causing him to stumble and fall, once the angel was out of the way of immediate harm he grabbed his brother around the waist. Easily lifting him from the floor and spinning him away from the angel, placing himself between them. "Get out of here Castiel! Now!" He snarled, but his face pained as he held his brother back. "Let go of me Sam!" Dean growled, struggling to get his arms free from his brothers grasp. The rustle of wings told them both that the angel was gone and Sam released his brother.
"So, you had to save your new fuck hm?" Dean growled, glaring at his brother as he dropped the angel blade to the ground. Sam flinched at his brothers tone, but it didn't stop him from stepping into Deans space. He stared down at his brother, tears streaming down his face "You...You came back." Sam mumbled, green eyes glazed over from tears...but also sorrow. Dean willingly met his brothers stare for stare, pain ripping through his chest at the sorrow he'd put into his brothers eyes. "Always." Dean whispered in reply, hand slowly drifting up but stopped when Sam flinched away from him. Sighing Dean stepped back, glancing away from his brother to keep the pain from his face. "De." Dean looked over at Sam again. "I...-" "Its okay Sammy." Dean muttered, slowly reaching out to grasp Sams hand..which Sam allowed.
Both stood in a awkward silence for several minutes, before Sam whispered softly "Why'd you leave me? You..you promised." Dean glanced up, seeing fresh tears joining old. "I know. I...Lets sit?" He asked, nodding towards the couch. Sam nodded and Dean lead him over to the couch, leaving the angel blade where he'd dropped it. Settling down Dean made sure he was facing his brother, hand clutching Sams. "God I screwed up Sammy." Dean began. "I thought i'd be protecting you. Saving you from the pain me being here would cause-" "You didn't cause me pain!" "Yes Sam...I did. You were afraid to be in the same room as me, probably still are." He noticed his brother shaking...from fear or excitement he didn't know. "I was supposed to protect you, and I failed. Worse then that, when you needed me I couldn't be there for you because the bastard that hurt you, was wearing my skin!" Sam flinched at the raised voice and Dean took a deep breath. "Sorry." Sam shook his head, glancing away from Dean for a moment. "De?" "Hm?" "When did you stop believing in me?" Dean stared at him like he'd grown a second head. However Sam didn't notice because he wasn't looking at Dean.
Dean slipped off the couch and Sam thought he was leaving. However before he could call Dean back, there he was crouched down in front of Sam with his hands on Sams knees. "Sammy..." Deans voice was pained. "I never stopped believing in you." Dean slowly reached a hand up, watching as Sam flinched and he closed his eyes stopping his hands progression. Dean was shocked when Sams hand covered his and brought it up, holding it against his cheek. "I'm trying De..Please...Don't leave me again." "Never." Dean promised, brushing the tears that fell away with his thumb. It was such a tender action, that Sam smiled sadly at him. "If...you believe in me, then...why can't you believe that I will get over this?" "It's not that I don't believe you can, its that I don't wanna cause you pain while you heal."
Dean continued to squat there, hand cupping Sams face as hazel eyes stared into green. "You don't." Sam finally replied and Dean bit back a harsh laugh. Deciding instead to sigh. "De...No. YOU don't...the memory of the shifter...does. It's not you I'm afraid of." Sam demanded, leaning into Deans touch and letting out a contented sigh. "I'll stay Sammy...but I am sorry...and I'll make it up to you." Sam shook his head, about to tell him that there was no need when Dean placed a finger over his lips. "Yes, I do have something to make up for. But if I see Castiel again I'm going to kill him." "No! Please De. Hes still our friend..." "He took advantage of your emotional state Sam!" "I know! But please, for me?" Sam pouted at him, pulling out his famous puppy eyes and Dean broke. "Alright...for you." He sighed, brushing his thumb across Sams cheek once more. "Come on. Lets get you lunch. Can't have you starving to death on me can I?" Dean asked, standing up and gently pulling Sam up as well. Sam smirked down at his brother, rolled his eyes and shook his head fondly. "I suppose not." Sam conceded, walking with Dean towards the Impala.
It didn't take long before they were pulling up to the clock restaurant. The building was white with a teal colored roof, and it caused Sam to look at his brother with a raised eyebrow. This wasn't some crappy diner they were used to eating at. Dean shrugged "Figured I should suck up." He mumbled with a small smile as he got out of the car. Sam hesitated a moment before he too exited the Impala and met his brother at the front of the car. "No reason to." Sam replied, reaching out slowly to grab Deans hand and squeeze it gently, a small smile on his face. Dean returned the smile and squeeze, before releasing Sams hand and leading the way into the restaurant.
"Two?" The hostess asked, and Dean nodded. She grabbed two menus "Follow me please." and lead both Sam and Dean down the isles. The hostess set the menus down on the table for a booth, and Sam slid in one side while Dean slid in the other. "What can I get ya'll to drink?" Dean and Sam looked at each other "Two sweet iced teas." "Alright. I'll give you a minute to look at the menu." With that the hostess moved off, but not before allowing her eyes to roam over both men thinking 'Dear god are they models?'
Dean snickered at the hostess' look as she moved off, and Sam frowned his brows furrowed "What?" He asked, glancing back towards where the hostess went. "Nothing. Nothing." Dean replied, he'd seen the hostess checking out his brother and was glad they were both in love with each other...not that Dean didn't like women, but they weren't his Sammy. Sam rolled his eyes before going back to the menu, looking only at the salads...something that annoyed Dean to no end. A few minutes later their waitress came up with their drinks. "Ready to order or do you need a few more minutes?" She asked, smiling at Dean as her eyes roamed over his body. "We're ready to order." Sam all but growled out, it was annoying how the girls always threw themselves at Dean. "Alright." She answered, waiting for Dean to go first. "You go first babe." Dean said, smirking at the Waitress' shocked look as she slowly looked over to Sam. "Just a chicken salad for me, and a coleslaw." "Alright." She replied, writing it down. "And you?" "Bar-bar-Q Plate please." She nodded "It'll just be a few minutes." She collected the menus and walked off.
"De." Sam said softly, his hand reaching across the table to grab Deans. "Hm?" Dean mumbled, glancing up at his brother. "That was just plain evil." Sam said, after a brief pause. Dean knew that wasn't what he was going to say to begin with, but let it slip. Smirking he turned his hand over, grasping Sams in his and squeezing. "Ah. But you love me for it." Dean replied cockily. "I love you for that, and more." Sam replied, looking straight into the hazel eyes. It was in this position the waitress found them when she brought their food. "Thanks." Dean mumbled, not looking away from Sam as she set their food on the table. Shaking her head she walked away mumbling under her breath about 'why are all the hot men gay?' much to Sams amusement.
Dean was the first one to break their gaze, looking down to his plate as he unrolled his silverware from the napkin they'd been wrapped in and began to dig in. Sam smirked, shaking his head fondly before he unrolled his as well, and stabbed a piece of lettuce. This of course Dean to roll his eyes, and Sam to snicker. He knew that his habit of eating as Dean called it 'Rabbit food' annoyed his brother. Dean knew it'd be a long road ahead of them...but he hoped one day, to earn his brothers trust back.
A/N: Whoot. So, what do ya'll think? Oh and the 'Clock restaurant' was a real restaurant that I used to go to as a kid. They sold the one in the town next to ours, and its now a mexican restaurant so that sucks ass. Anyways R&R?
