|| 静香 (shizuka) = quiet ||

Inuyasha breathed slowly in and out as he sat on his bed, listening the vague echoes which came from Kagome and Mika's whispered talking. He was so tired, so tired but couldn't close his eyes. He was afraid of what his mind would make him see.

He had failed again. So many years he had believed that he wouldn't fail and loose the ones which were important to him. At first, a long time ago it had been his mother, then Kikyo and now... He let out a shaking sigh. He didn't know was it okay to cry if he wanted to or not, did he have to cry if he didn't wan to.

He had held her. He had held her small, fragile body in his hands. God... Who would have thought something so right and happy could go so wrong?

"Eh...?" Inuyasha blinked at Kagome's happy, excited face. "What did you say?"

"Mom is pregnant", Nobu rolled his eyes amused. "How many times you have to hear it?"

"Nobu", Kagome hushed.

"What? You told them before you told me? !" Inuyasha asked with shocked tone.

"They are my children."

"I'm your-"

"Oh, forget that!" she waved her hand and grinned to him, her eyes shining so brightly that he believed they could blind him. "What do you think?"

"Honestly?" he snorted and glanced at his sons, eleven years old Nobu and eight years old Mika suspicously. "Again?"

Kagome's eyes widened and turned from ethusiastic to annoyed. "Well... whatever", she pouted, still after thirteen years she knew how to pout. She turned around and took her basket then smiled to her sons, accenting that Inuyasha didn't deserve that smile right now and walked outside. Mika just chose to be silent like always, shook his head to Inuyasha and walked after his mother.

Inuyasha looked at Nobu. "You, shut up."

"I didn't say anything", Nobu laughed. "Are you surprised?"

"Yeah", Inuyasha murmured, scratching his neck.

"Me too", Nobu frowned. "You're so old."

X

"What you're doing?" Inuyasha looked over her shoulder to see what she had in her hands. She was knitting.

"Something for our little one", she smiled. "It isn't anything yet but I think it's going to be some kind of... headger!"

Inuyasha looked at her calm face. It was glowing with happiness. "You're really waiting for it."

"Eh?" Kagome turned to look at him so that their noses bumped against each others.

"The baby."

"Of course. I didn't think we would be blessed to have a third one. Think about it", she tenderly touched his forehead with her own. "Soon there's going to be a new little, beautiful child which we have made."

"Yeah", he smiled too, liking the idea. "Sounds good."

X

A familiar voice woke him from his calm, well-earned sleep. Mika's voice.

"Papa", his son shook his shoulder.

Inuyasha groaned, "What? Have to go? Ask mama."

"No. Mama asks you. It's about baby."

"What?" Inuyasha now opened his eyes fully and sat up, pushing the blanket away. He noticed that Kagome wasn't beside him. "Is something wrong?"

"I don't know. She's sitting by the fire. Come on", Mika pulled his arm and Inuyasha followed.

Kagome was sitting on the wooden floor, her hands on her stomach but she didn't look hurt. "Kagome. What's wrong?" Inuyasha knelt beside her and Mika sat on the other side.

"Nothing's wrong", she shook her head.

"Then why you're up middle of the night?"

"Baby", she whispered. "Baby woke me. I was feeling a bit weird so I came here to just think and then I felt a kick."

"A kick?" he almost cried out. He looked at her stomach and the smile on Kagome's face widened.

"You're always so unsure when it comes to this", she said and took his hand. She placed it on her stomach and Inuyasha breathed out when he felt a movement. He had experienced it before but it was always all so amazing.

"Can I too?" Mika asked peering at Kagome, Inuyasha's hand and the stomach.

"Of course", Kagome smiled. Mika slowly placed his hand next to his father's.

"You feel it?" Inuyasha asked.

"Yeah", Mika grinned and Inuyasha smiled to them all. They stayed like that for a long time, while Nobu of course was snoring in his bed.

X

"NO!"

As Inuyasha heard how Kagome screamed, he knew he couldn't stand there anymore. He ran to the same room where Kagome had given birth to Nobu and Mika and shivered at the reek of blood. Much of blood.

There was two women with Sango. She had offered to help Kagome with their third baby's birth. Though none of them could have known that it would come this early.

Women said something to him, tried to stop him for coming closer but he pushed them away and saw Sango turn her head towards him. The sadness in her eyes made him choke. She let him walk pass her to Kagome who was crying. The spot on the floor under her feet was red with blood and she had squeezed her legs closed which told him that the birth was over. He laid his eyes to something which was beside Kagome, near her but not in her arms like it should have been. Kagome couldn't look at it but sobbed brokenly.

A voice which could have been whine, escaped from his mouth as he knelt down on the floor. In front of him was a small figure on white little blanket. Their baby girl.

She was bloody, her eyes were closed and she was lying on her right side. Her hands were in fists but slack and a few curls of black hair covered part of her head. Inuyasha couldn't breathe. The world had stopped moving around him and he begged for it to start moving again.

"What- Why isn't she moving?" Inuyasha asked, not really knowing from who. 'Why is she so small?'

"I'm sorry..." Sango's quiet voice said. "I couldn't... I couldn't do anything-"

"Why isn't she moving?" Inuyasha raised his voice just a little bit. Kagome stopped her sobs for a moment.

Inuyasha looked at her, locked his eyes with hers and she whispered, "Inuyasha."

Her voice told him that he had to believe it. He had to believe that their child was gone. Inuyasha hid his eyes under his white bangs and carefully reached out his hands and lifted the dead baby to his arms.

There was nothing smaller, nothing emptier than this dead angel.

Kagome had called her Shizuka, quiet. Maybe it was fitting, they had never heard her crying voice which usually was the sign of the living baby.

It had been two days after that breakfast when Kagome had started moaning beacuse of the sudden pain in her stomach. He had took her to village and after a long painful time their girl had bornt dead. Kagome had said that she had been "pree-mie" or something like that.

After the birth Sango and Miroku had offered to take care of Nobu and Mika so that they could mourn in peace but Kagome refused. She had told them that she needed to be with her children. It had been hard to tell their boys that there wasn't going to be any baby after all.

Inuyasha listened the voices of the hut. He heard Kagome's steps behind the mat door, her silent sniff. He stood up and met her as she entered to their small room. She walked to his arms and gulped her tears away. She had been so strong, always smiling in front of Nobu and Mika and sometimes making Inuyasha too forget the horrible events. But when they were alone, they both remembered again how broken they were.

"I'm sorry", she whispered against his neck. "I'm just..."

"I know", he nodded and walked her to bed. They covered each others with blanket, listened the silent night.

"I would have taken care of her", she said. "I would have."

"I know", he squeezed her hand. "You're the best mother in the world."

"It's hurting you too", she said, touching his cheek in return, her brown eyes sad. "How can I heal you?"

"If you tell me how I can heal you", he answered. He could see a ghost of smile on her face.

"Can we talk about the time when we hunted shards?" she asked with a small voice. "About good things."

"Let's talk whole night, Kagome", he said and pulled her closer.


AN:

This just had to be written. I just had to make their life miserable. This takes place about thirteen years after Kagome's return. Thanks to everyone who wrote a review to it when it was one-shot:

Power Sock

ShadowNala

TheGreatANGSTHATER

Thanks for reading & comments are welcomed!

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha