Disclaimer: Ranma ½ belongs to Rumiko Takahashi, Viz, Fuji, Kitty, and Shogakukan. The characters aren't mine and blah blah blah yackety shmackety. Please don't steal my fic.

Chapter 10

~ Issues ~

We chase misprinted lies

We face the path of time

And yet I fight

And yet I fight

This battle all alone

No one to cry to

No place to call home...

~Alice in Chains, "Nutshell"

Ranma awakened slowly as the first rays of the morning sun began to edge their way through the window. He found himself curled in a chair with a blanket wrapped around him, and looked about in confusion.

What the—oh. He saw Ryoga sleeping in the bed beside him, the post-dawn light cutting a rosy band across the blanket covering the young man's slumbering form. Ranma stood, grimacing a little at the aches here and there in his body from sleeping in an upright position all night. Refolding the blanket, he glanced at the clock, which displayed 6:48 AM. Everyone at home would just be starting to get up, except for Kasumi, who was no doubt already busy in the kitchen.

Ranma set the blanket on the chair and glanced at Ryoga. Whatever the nurse had given him the previous night must've really knocked him out; he was usually up with the sun. Ranma placed a hand on his shoulder and shook him gently.

"Ryoga. Hey."

The Lost Boy stirred, then opened his eyes halfway to look up at him. Ranma could see that his eyes were very dark and took a moment to focus.

Whoa. He's still more than a little out of it, Ranma thought, feeling somewhat disturbed by the fact.

"Ranma?" Ryoga mumbled questioningly. He could see the light in the room had changed, and decided it must be morning.

"Yeah. Are you gonna be alright?" Ranma asked quietly, not wanting to jar the boy awake.

"Yeah," Ryoga answered sleepily.

"Ok. Listen, I'm gonna go home now, alright? Everyone wants to know what happened." Ranma spoke slowly, giving time for him to understand what he was saying. "But I'll come back later. This afternoon, probably. I'll see if I can find your stuff."

It took Ryoga a moment to answer. "Ok," he said finally.

"Alright. Take it easy," Ranma told him. He turned to leave.

"Ranma," Ryoga said suddenly from behind him. The pigtailed boy stopped and looked back. Ryoga's eyes were open, his hand stretched out towards him. Ranma stepped over to the bed, taking the other boy's hand as he did so.

"Yeah?" he asked.

"Thanks," Ryoga murmured, his voice barely above a whisper. "For staying...and everything."

Ranma smiled a little. "No problem. I'll see you later, Ok?" Ryoga nodded and closed his eyes. Ranma squeezed his hand gently, then released it. Ryoga settled back on the bed and was asleep again before he left the room.

Ranma closed the door silently behind him and padded down the hallway, empty but for the occasional nurse or doctor walking busily past with clipboards or trays of medicine. He found the brown-haired nurse and told her that he was leaving, then made his way out of the hospital and onto the street. Birds were beginning to raise their voices in song, heralding the new day as the light of the rising sun sparkled on the dewdrops left on flowers and hanging from the chain link fence along the road.

Ranma thought as he walked. He was several blocks away from home, giving him time to try and figure out what he was going to tell everyone. When he finally reached the gate of the Tendo house, the blue-eyed martial artist paused and gazed at it for a few moments. Then he hiked back his shoulders and walked through.

Might as well tell 'em the truth, plain and simple, he thought resignedly. This ain't gonna be pretty...

"He WHAT?"

Ranma started as a chorus of voices fired the same question at him all at once. There was a moment of tense silence around the table, finally broken by Kasumi's soft "Oh, my." All eyes were on Ranma, and a nearly identical look of shock was on everyone else's face. Even Nabiki was wide-eyed. Soun quickly geared up for a fit of wailing, covering his face with one arm.

"Ohh, how terrible! That one so young, and here he helped save my little girl so many times!" Soun lamented as Kasumi automatically went to comfort him.

Ranma groaned. "Aw, c'mon. I just said he was alright!"

"Oh, thank goodness!" Soun exclaimed, his sobs immediately diminishing. Everyone else blinked a couple of times, then started talking all at once.

"The path of a martial artist is fraught with trial..." Genma said wisely.

"Hmm. Guess we should've seen that one coming," Nabiki mused, quickly regaining her composure.

"Poor Ryoga," Kasumi said sorrowfully, clearly fighting her own tears.

"What do you mean, 'seen it coming'?" Akane demanded.

Nabiki looked at her sister coolly. "Come on, Akane. The guy was always borderline, don't you think? He practically had 'Depression' stamped on his forehead."

Ranma growled in exasperation. "Would you please stop talking about him in past tense?"

"Ooh, sorry," Nabiki stated, covering her mouth with one hand.

Akane sat staring at her lap, her emotions mixed. She was mad at Ranma, and furious with Ryoga to the point that had he been there presently, she was sure she would've hit him. But she was confused too, her heart flipping between anger and concern and fear and many other feelings. Unsure of how to deal with the situation, but knowing she didn't want to do it in front of everybody else, Akane stood and ran from the room.

Everyone watched her abrupt departure, clearly dumbfounded.

Uh-oh, Ranma thought, jumping to his feet to follow her. "Akane!" he called as he raced out of the room. Soun and Genma nodded their approval.

"Ah, at times like these, fiancés must draw together."

"Well put, Saotome."

Nabiki rolled her eyes. "Great. Somebody tries to off himself and you two think it's an opportunity for a bonding session," she said disgustedly, climbing to her feet and stalking towards the stairs.

Ranma ran into the dojo after Akane. This is gonna suck, he warned himself. "Akane...Akane," he said, trying to put a hand on her shoulder, but she turned and shoved him away. From her pool of mixed emotions, anger came out on top.

"How could you!" she demanded, outraged. "How could you not tell me he was P-chan? You knew he slept in my bed! You—you-"

Ranma put his hands up in front of him in a gesture of defense. "Akane, it's not what you think-"

"You jerk!" she shrieked, raising a hand to slap him.

Normally, Ranma would have taken the blow, but the events of the past week and especially the last night had his nerves frayed. A vision of Ryoga lying unconscious in the woods stood out harshly in his mind, making his chest tighten and his own temper flare. He reached up and deftly grabbed her hand before it struck him, his eyes flashing.

"That's enough!" he shouted. Akane's look of fury turned to surprise. "Stop actin' like a spoiled brat for once and listen to me!" he snapped, releasing her hand. Akane blinked at him, astonished.

"I couldn't tell you about Ryoga's curse because I promised him I wouldn't," Ranma said. Well, actually I promised the neighbor's dog that I wouldn't, but who's asking, he thought a little wildly. "It was bad enough as it was," he continued, his voice calmer now. "I practically told you a thousand times anyway. The only thing I didn't do was say 'Ryoga is P-chan.'" He paused and sighed. "I didn't like the whole thing, and that's why I was always in your room at night way back when. I was tryin' to get him out of your bed."

Akane looked at him, her eyes wide. "Why—why did you stop?"

Ranma sighed again. "I dunno. I mean, if I could prevent him I did, but it wasn't like he was hurtin' ya or nothin', so I just let it go. He didn't like it either, Akane—it was really tearin' him up inside. But he couldn't find a way to tell you, I guess, and it got out of hand. He didn't want you to hate him, and he didn't want to upset you."

Akane stared at the floor, sifting through the information she had just received. Oh, Ryoga…

After a moment she lifted her head. "I want to see him," she said suddenly.

Ranma whirled to face her. "No way, Akane."

"Why not?" she demanded, her anger returning at the pigtailed boy's abrupt refusal. "Don't you think this is important? I need to-"

"No," Ranma said flatly. "Listen, Akane. There's a lot more to this. He's really upset right now; you know how emotional he gets. You'll just make it worse."

Akane clenched her fists. "You can't stop me," she said indignantly. "He's got a lot of explaining to do-"

"Would you listen to me? How many times do I hafta ask?" Ranma cried. "He tried to kill himself, Akane! Really tried! And he damn near did!" His voice started to tremble. "I found him lying in a pool of his own blood! If I'd found him five minutes later, he'd be dead now! Don't you understand?" Ranma's blue eyes filled with tears. "Do you think this is easy for me? That it's easy for him? I mean, God ...seeing him like that...I thought he was gone, Akane. I had to wait in the damn hospital, not knowing if he was going to live or die. Someone could've come up to me at any minute and told me he was gone. It was close, Akane...so close..." he trailed off, his voice barely a whisper as he sank to his knees, covering his eyes with one hand.

Akane stood stunned, feeling her own tears starting to form. She hadn't known...

Ranma felt two arms wrap around his chest. "A-Akane?" he choked.

"I'm sorry, Ranma," she sobbed quietly, burying her face in his shoulder. "I didn't know what happened. I didn't think how awful it must've been for you...for Ryoga..."

Ranma tentatively placed his arms around her shoulders. "I know, Akane," he said softly. "And I'm not saying you shouldn't go and talk to him, eventually. I know he's your friend, too. Just—just give him some time, alright? Could you do that?"

She nodded against him, and he hugged her. "He meant what he said in the note, Akane. Remember that."

"I will," she whispered.

They held each other for a long time, not saying anything at all.

"He WHAT?"

Ranma jumped back from the counter. Why does everyone react the same way? he wondered, his hands automatically forming the token pain-ward.

Meanwhile, Ukyo lunged for the okonomiyaki she'd flipped up into the air upon hearing Ranma's statement. She succeeded in catching it on the plate she was holding, then turned back to the pigtailed boy, her eyes wide.

Ranma blinked and relaxed again. "I know, I know. Unbelievable, right?"

"Oh, no," Ukyo said, her voice tense with distress. She shut off the grill and walked around to the other side of the counter. "But he…he's Ok, right?"

"Yeah," Ranma sighed. "As Ok as someone can be after that."

Ukyo frowned, her deep blue eyes troubled. "H-how? Seppuku?"

Ranma shook his head wearily, sinking back onto a stool. "No. He, uh...cut his wrists..."

Ukyo slid onto the stool beside him. "Oh…my God…" she breathed, blinking back her tears. She held a hand up to her mouth. "You were the one who found him though?" she whispered.

Ranma nodded. "The woods. Behind the school." He looked up at her, his expression strained. "It was awful, Ucchan," he whispered. "I—I thought he was dead. I got him to Dr. Tofu, and he called an ambulance and everything...but when we got to the hospital, they wouldn't let me stay with him. I had to wait for so long... I kept thinking they were gonna come out and t-tell me he was g-gone."

Ukyo laid a reassuring hand on his arm, and Ranma continued.

"I finally got to see him, and I was so mad...when he woke up, he said...he said..." Ranma choked on the words. He took a shaking breath. "He said he wished he'd slit his throat..." he managed.

Ukyo's eyes widened. "Oh, no," she gasped, the tears finally overflowing down her face.

Ranma nodded. "I couldn't believe he said that. I lost it right then. But he was so upset..." The blue-eyed boy stared down at the counter. "I...this wasn't supposed to happen, Ukyo," he murmured.

"I know," she said to him. "But—we've all been through so much crazy stuff...we should be able to handle this, right?"

"That's just it," Ranma said, sounding almost desperate. "I got no idea what to do. I can't fight it with some technique or one of the Old Ghoul's tricks...it's like we've all gotten so used to stuff we never thought was anything more than bedtime stories that something like this seems..."

"Farfetched?" Ukyo supplied. She sighed. "I guess all we can do is play it by ear. Maybe it's not as bad as it looks. I mean, maybe he just had a really bad day," she said hopefully. "Did he tell you why...?"

Ranma shrugged. "Yeah, kinda, I guess. I stayed with him last night, and he talked to me for awhile. You know how he always says all that junk about being through hell?" Ukyo nodded. "Well, he has," Ranma sighed. "But that's his story to tell, not mine. There is one thing... You know how he followed me because of the stupid bread feud? He wound up in China. And while I was at Jusenkyo with Pop, Ryoga was there, too." Ranma became a bit shamefaced. "I—knocked him into a Spring."

Ukyo gazed at him ruefully, already feeling sympathetic. "Ryoga has a curse too, huh? I kinda suspected."

Ranma glanced at her, surprised. "Y-you did?"

The chef blinked at him guilelessly. "Well, sure. I mean, why else would he act so loopy around cold water? And Akane's little pet pig has a bandana just like Ryoga's. Ryoga adores Akane. The piglet adores Akane. Ryoga hates you. The piglet hates you. They both get lost all the time, and one is never around at the exact time that the other one is." Ukyo raised an eyebrow at him. "Ryoga is P-chan, right?"

Ranma appeared dumbfounded. Ukyo was obviously a little more observant than he'd thought. "Yeah, he is. I promised not to tell anyone, but I guess this don't count since you figured it out for yourself. Plus he told Akane in the note he left, so you were bound to hear it sooner or later." He paused and shook his head. "Funny thing is, Ryoga didn't even know I was the one who knocked him in until after he got here. Pop and I were both in our cursed forms when it happened. He figured it out pretty quick once he did get here, though."

"So that's why he's always mad at you."

"Huh. Part of it anyway."

Ukyo tilted her head to one side. "Ok, but if he was going to do this just because of his curse..."

"It's not just because of his curse," Ranma said. "There's a lot more to it. And there's probably even more to it than what he told me..." He shook his head again.

"I should go see him," Ukyo said suddenly.

Ranma brightened a bit. Ryoga and Ukyo got along pretty well, and despite their argument, he would probably be glad to see her. "That's a good idea," the pigtailed boy said. "I told him this morning that I'd come back today, but I hafta go find his pack. He'd probably be glad to have someone he knows there with him in the meantime."

"Do you think so?" she asked.

"Yeah. Akane wanted to go, but I told her not to. She's all wound up over the whole P-chan thing, and Ryoga's shook up pretty bad, too." Ranma stood slowly. "I should get goin'," he said. "I told him I'd be there, and I guess I should tell someone about the place where he...uh, last night, I mean..." Ranma tried awkwardly.

"O-oh," Ukyo stammered. "I should get ready to go, too."

Ranma glanced at her, a look of concern passing over his features. "You Ok?" he asked.

Ukyo forced a smile. "Yeah. But are you Ok?"

The pigtailed boy tried to smiled back, but his eyes remained troubled. "Hey, I've survived Akane's cooking, right? I can deal."

Ukyo blinked at him, deciding not to press. "If you say so, Ranma-honey," she acquiesced. She watched as he walked towards the door, his hands in his pockets as usual, but his back was unusually stiff.

"I'll see ya later, Ucchan," he said over his shoulder.

"Bye, Ranma-honey," she answered absently, wondering how things had ever gotten to this point.

Ukyo stepped off the elevator and looked down the hall, searching for room 332. Suddenly feeling a bit nervous, she walked towards the open door and peeked inside to see Ryoga sitting on the bed facing the window, still dressed in the soft blue hospital pajamas. Taking a deep breath, she knocked on the inside of the doorframe. Ryoga turned quickly.

"Hi there, Sugar," she greeted, smiling a bit weakly as she tried to hide her shock over how pale he was.

"Oh—Ukyo," Ryoga stammered, his expression startled. What's she doing here? he wondered.

"Mind if I come in?" she asked.

Ryoga blinked at her. "Huh? Oh, uh, sure. S-sorry."

Ukyo walked around the bed to sit beside him. "How are you?" she asked, eyeing the bandages on his wrists. She glanced at his face and noticed he was staring at the floor, his eyes downcast. "You, um…look tired."

Ryoga nodded, the motion listless. "I spent half the morning talking to a bunch of doctors, then my father's lawyer showed up."

Ukyo frowned. "Lawyer? Where are your parents?"

"They're dead."

Ukyo gasped. "Oh! I'm s-sorry," she stammered, flustered over what she'd said. Good one, sister, she thought to herself. Reeeeal good.

Ryoga shrugged almost imperceptively. "It happens, I guess," he murmured.

Ukyo felt her eyes fill with tears. Ryoga looked so sad, his eyes darkened to deep gray, his silky black hair contrasting sharply against his pale, smooth skin. He appeared almost ethereal, like a sad angel looking down at the world, his eyes filled with more sorrow than it seemed any person should feel. Unable to stand it any longer, Ukyo threw herself against him and wrapped her arms around his chest.

"I'm so sorry, Sugar!" she sobbed, tears flowing down her cheeks. "This is all my fault!"

Ryoga stiffened in surprise and stared, perplexed, at the crying girl clinging to him. "Wh-what?" he managed, completely confused.

"You just wanted me to listen to you!" she explained tearfully. "But I wouldn't do it! If I had, this wouldn't have happened!"

It took a moment for her words to sink in. Ryoga blinked, then placed his hands carefully on her shoulders. "It's not your fault," he said quietly.

She gazed up at him, her eyes still swimming. "You mean, you're not mad at me?" She loosened her near-suffocating grip on him.

"Of course not," he replied. "You had no idea what was going on."

Ukyo released him and pushed herself back slowly. "But I was still a lousy friend."

Ryoga looked at her intently. "You were just defending Ranma. He's your friend, too. Don't be sorry," he told her, glad that she'd stopped crying. Ukyo wasn't usually the type for emotional outbursts, and the experience was kind of unnerving to him.

The longhaired girl sighed and wiped at her eyes. She hadn't expected to get so upset, but the idea that Ryoga had nearly died and the possibility of her being part of the cause had her completely on edge. "I am sorry. I should've at least heard you out," Ukyo told him.

Ryoga didn't say anything, but only shrugged and remained silent. She glanced at him, her expression one of concern. "So…what did your lawyer say?" she asked.

The Lost Boy sighed. "A lot." He shifted his eyes to gaze out the window. "He's my—guardian or whatever. But that was only supposed to be temporary. My father wanted me to be emancipated." He gave a small, wry grin that didn't reach his eyes. "I guess he didn't want me to have to live with strangers any more than I do."

Ukyo blinked at him. "So you're just going to..."

Ryoga shook his head slowly. "It's not quite that simple. Being a runaway doesn't speak very well for me, and then there's this..." He motioned with his wrist.

"So now what?" Ukyo asked, her brow furrowing in concern.

He shrugged again, listlessly. "Now I have to be...evaluated by the doctors, and I will have to live with someone if they decide to let me out...or I'll have t-to go to a...a...you know..." Ryoga put a hand to his forehead.

Ukyo gazed at him, troubled. "So they might…take you away?" she said, her voice faint with dread.

Ryoga closed his eyes. "I guess so," he replied. "Unless they say I'm alright and I find someplace to go."

They sat in silence for a few minutes, Ukyo unable to find something to say and Ryoga not bothering to try. Then Ukyo brightened and looked up at him again.

"Wait, Sugar," she said excitedly, "you could come and stay with me!"

Ryoga stared at her blankly. "What?"

"You can stay with me," she repeated, warming to the idea. "At the restaurant. I've got a spare room on the third floor. There's even a bathroom up there. And you can go to school again, with me and Ranma and Akane."

Ryoga blinked. "Ukyo, I can't just...intrude on you like that-"

"You wouldn't be," she told him. "You could…help me in the restaurant. I could use a waiter." She looked at him almost pleadingly. "Please, Sugar? You don't want to leave, do you?"

"Well, no, I guess not, but..." Ryoga noticed her wide, hopeful eyes and saw her hands clasped in front of her, giving a perfect I'm-a-damsel-in-distress-and-you-don't-want-to-make-me-cry-by-not-doing-what-I-want-do-you? impression.

Oh, shoot, Ryoga thought, knowing he couldn't refuse. "Um, I could ask, I guess, and see what he says-"

He was cut off from lack of oxygen as Ukyo hugged him again. "Great!" she exclaimed happily. Ryoga gasped for breath.

"Uh, Ukyo I can't really breathe..." he managed.

Ukyo let him go hurriedly and blushed. "Sorry about that, Sugar."

"It's Ok," the wandering martial artist said absently. Then he perked up and cast a guarded look over his shoulder.

Ukyo followed his gaze and saw two doctors standing at the door. She pushed her hair over her shoulder self-consciously. "I guess I should go," she said hesitantly, somewhat annoyed that her visit had been cut so short. She turned to look in his eyes. "I'll come back tomorrow, though."

"You don't have to," Ryoga told her. Ukyo noticed his slightly pained expression.

"I want to. Unless you don't want me to-"

"No, it's not that," he said quickly. "I just...don't want you to feel responsible or anything..."

Ukyo smiled at him. "Ryoga, you dummy. I want to come see you."

"Well, I don't think I'll be going anywhere for awhile, so for once it should be easy to find me," he conceded.

Ukyo's smile widened as she stood. "You got that right, Sugar. I'll see you later," she told him, walking towards the door.

"See you," Ryoga murmured in reply as the doctors pushed past her to enter. He moved himself around on the bed to face them.

Ukyo turned to smile at him one last time before leaving the room, willing Ryoga to return it. But the Lost Boy's expression remained one of resigned weariness. Ukyo stepped into the hall, fighting back tears again. She knew Ryoga had every reason to be upset, but she hadn't expected his near emotionless demeanor. She had wanted to at least cheer him up a little, but she had gotten nothing. Not even a so much as a glimmer of hope in his eyes...