Title: Let's get an update from the desert.
Summary: News from a previous nakama.
"Mail call!"
Nami's voice pierced the fog of drowsiness that had slipped over the Thousand Sunny. With Brook still occupying the men's bathroom, the males on the ship, except for Zoro and Luffy, had not slept well at all. They ended up using temporary cots and hammocks in their favorite spaces, much to their discomfort. The lack of sleep was obvious by lunchtime, when Sanji wasn't even in the mood to kick Zoro's ass for being early to the meal. Currently, the men, minus Franky, were still lollygagging on the grass deck, snoozing in the sunlight after the heavy repast.
"Mail call! Oh, look, it's a letter from Vivi!"
It was as if she'd hit the five younger ones with a Thunderbolt Tempo. Nami tried not to go overboard as she was suddenly covered in a pile of Chopper-Sanji-Luffy-Usopp-want-now-now-ism. Zoro grudgingly pulled them off of her when she glared at him with percent signs in her eyes.
"Shut to hell up you fools, let the witch speak."
"Stop calling Nami-swan a witch, you shitty ball of barnacle food!"
Sword met steel-capped shoe and the fight was on. Ignoring the cloud of grass and dust flying up behind her, Nami rolled her eyes and punched the other three teens in the head.
"Sit down and shut up!" she roared, wings and horns momentarily sprouting from her figure.
"Ah! Whatever you say, Nami-san!"
"Stupid ass ero-cooks always wiggling away from a good figh- ow, ow, ow, not the earrings! I'm sitting, bitch, I'm sitting!"
"Read it! Read it!" Luffy chanted, Usopp and Chopper quickly picking up the rhythm as Zoro lay back on the grass rubbing his sore earlobe. Sanji made a snide remark comparing the swordsman to Enel, but Nami threw her empty beer bottles at both of them, effectively shutting them up.
"Alright already! Listen up," she began, getting comfortable once more on her deck chair.
***
To my dear Straw-hats,
Luffy, Nami, Zoro, Sanji, Usopp, Chopper. My dear friends, how are you? I have read about some of your adventures in the newspapers, but I know that anything they write is probably an underestimation of your skills.
Luffy, your bounty is so large! $300 million beris! That is almost four times higher than Crocodile's before he became a Shichibukai and leader of Baroque Works. I know you must be very proud of yourself, as I am overwhelmed with pride for my former captain.
***
"Kishishishi! She saw it, she saw it! Yay!"
***
Zoro, your bounty has doubled since the events in Arabasta! If I know anything, you were magnificent in battle, and beat the strongest swordsman out of everyone that threatened the crew.
***
"Tch. No doubt."
***
Nami, I hope you did not have any trouble keeping the boys in line, and I am sure your navigational skills led everyone safely from the final battle. I am certain that you are all the richer for it-
***
"Oh how I wish so," Nami wailed, rolling her eyes around before continuing.
***
- but just in case, I have sent my payment early, along with this letter.
***
"You're still charging her for Arabasta? You money-loving witch!" Usopp, Luffy, and Chopper cried while Zoro shook his head disapprovingly. Nami shrugged and tucked a large wad of bills into her bikini top just as Sanji let loose an Anti-Manner Kick Course on his nakama.
"Shitty ass plebes shouldn't judge Nami-san's and Vivi-chan's wise decisions! Nami-swan! Please continue!"
***
Usopp, you looked marvelous as Sogeking! That mask makes you look so daring and handsome!
***
Usopp beamed with pride before he noticed Sanji and Zoro's sniggering. He thought about it for a few seconds before he screeched aloud.
"Oi, I was handsome and daring before the mask! Before!"
***
You were truly brave to burn the flag of the World Government. The symbolism of this action is already resonating throughout the globe.
Chopper, my sweet Chopper, I hope that these events have not put undo strain on your vast medical knowledge.
***
"Bitch, stop buttering me up! Your nasty ass lies still won't make me happy!"
"Says the zoan wiggling off the edge of the ship. Just come here and redo my bandage!"
"Zoro, why is it off in the first place? Don't tell me anything stupid about training, you're not supposed to be training! Heavy Point!"
Nami ignored the doctor as he tackled the swordsman.
***
I know that the marines have made a grave mistake in underestimating your worth to the crew, and I am sure that they are already regretting it.
Sanji-kun-
***
"Vivi-chwan! I hear and obey your summons of love!"
"No, Chopper, it's okay if the idiot mellorines himself right off the ship, the worst he'll do is make us eat mushrooms. Continue, Nami!"
***
I am as appalled by the picture they are using on your wanted poster as I am impressed by the size of your bounty! I do not quite understand why your bounty is lower that Zoro's, but I'm sure that your smart tactics left the marines too confused to notice you sneaking past their defenses.
***
"Only a pure maiden like Vivi-chan can understand me- ah!"
Nami avoided the large splash and protected the letter. She patiently waited until Usopp and Luffy fished the lovesick chef out before starting again.
***
I see that Miss All Sunday is now a part of your crew. I am sure she is beyond grateful for your trust and support at Enies Lobby. I know enough about all of you to know that you can bring about anyone's true dreams, even a former Baroque Works agent. Plus you have another female on board!
***
"She was always a perceptive lass," Robin crooned by Nami's ear, causing the younger woman to shriek in fright.
"Dammit, Ane-san, don't do that to me!" the navigator grumbled as she pitched another empty beer bottle at Zoro's smirking visage. Chopper just sighed and got out another bandage for the green-clad lump forming on his idol's head. Nami made room for Robin to set up another lawn chair next to her before reading again.
***
In closing, I wanted to let you know that Kohza has been very apologetic for his part in the civil war, but he has started a new life helping his uncle and a gentleman named Gedatsu-
***
"What the hell? He fell on Arabasta!" Chopper shrieked, clutching his face in Scream-like horror.
***
-run a hot springs resort on a nearby island! I visit him often, and it is one of the best baths outside of the palace itself! I also tried your advice, and I think the truth is slowly sinking in to his thick skull. I will send pictures of the ring as soon as he gathers his courage enough to propose. As you have taught me, I will not take ''No," for an answer.
Forever marked with an "X"
Nefertari Vivi
***
"Atta girl! Get the man you want!" Nami crowed, jumping out of the chair with elation. "Plus hot springs make a ton of money! Ah, I envy her."
The five young men on the grass blinked.
"I feel like we've missed something. What would that rebel leader want to propose to Vivi- ah~ah~!" Usopp began, until Sanji covered his mouth with one wet foot while Zoro grabbed Luffy by the scruff of his vest.
"Nami-swan!" Sanji cried, his shoe still lodged in the hole under the sniper's nose. "Does that letter have Kohza's address on it? I imagine Vivi didn't send it to us directly, being a princess and all."
"Huh? Ah yeah, here it is: Ukkari Hot Springs. Why?"
Zoro didn't even bother to glance at Sanji as he began to drag Luffy up the main mast to the crow's nest, Chopper following in squawking indignation as he attempted to finish his bandaging.
"We're writing her a letter. Got any spare stationery?"
Author says:
Just to update on Vivi's thoughts on her former crew, and embellish on the hot springs mini-story on the manga's covers. Sorry for the slow updates, I haven't been well this week.
