CHAPTER 11

Tuesday afternoon Paul Mariano Novelli was laid to rest while all the members of his family stood by with the exception of his brother Michael. As Matt and CJ stood at the graveside with the rest of the family, the familiar "Amazing Grace" was played with the traditional bagpipes, the flag was folded, a volley fired from the rifles of the honor guard, and then it was over. As Roy escorted Rosa and CJ to the waiting limousine Matt, Vince, and Tony stood by as Paulie's casket was slowly lowered into the ground and then the earth was put back into the hole. The thought occurred to Matt as he watched the operation that it always seemed to take more to fill the hole in than what had been dug out even though there was the addition of a casket, and he couldn't help but compare that to the hole that must be in the hearts of the Novellis at that moment. One of them was dead, and another faced an uncertain future – at least fifteen to twenty five years of his life would be taken away from him, possibly more, to make up for his crimes. But those years weren't just being taken away from him – they were also being taken away from his family. That thought had never entered the PI's mind before. Rosa Novelli had not just lost one son, but might never see Michael again either. She had gone to visit him and had held up well under the pressure, but it was obviously taking a toll on her. The usually bright and smiling face was drawn and pale; her laughter and joy of life wasn't to be seen or heard. What had happened was going to be a permanent wound to her heart.

As they headed for the airport, everyone was quiet. The boys, normally excited to be flying and with their Uncle Matt and Aunt CJ were subdued – young Tony most of all. He had barely spoken a word since learning the truth of what had happened and everyone was worried about him. After getting the jet into the air and getting past the worst of the traffic in the area, Matt had gone to the door of the cockpit and called the eleven year old to him and re-claimed his seat behind the yoke of the G-550. "Close the door behind you." Tony did as he was told and came to stand behind his uncle's seat. "Come sit down, bud." Matt indicated the seat to his right and the boy sat, neither one speaking for a minute. Turning in his seat to face the boy, Houston looked at him. "You know, I believe you've shot up an inch or two in the last week, pard." He tried to give the boy a smile. "Tony…" Starting in, he knew what his heart wanted to say but the words wouldn't find their way to his mouth. "I'm sorry. I…I would give anything in this world to have kept something like this from happening."

"It isn't your fault." The boy looked up at the man that he not only considered his uncle but his hero.

"No, but I feel bad anyway." The PI sighed. "I'm probably not going to say this right. Look, the whole thing sucks, but you've got to move on…let go of the anger. It won't do you any good to carry it around with you. Things like that just…they build up and then there's an explosion. Does that make sense?"

"Yeah." Tony looked down at his hands. "I just…I don't know how to just let it go. Grandma and Uncle Tony keep telling me to pray, but it doesn't do anything."

"It takes time, bud. You can't keep hate and anger bottled up inside. I'm not saying it'll be gone in a day or two or even a month or two. But you've got to try to let it out." He put his hand on the boy's shoulder.

"How…how do you do it?" Tony looked up at him. "I mean – all the stuff you've been through and you just…you're always smiling and happy."

"No, I'm not."

"When I see you, you are."

"That's because when you see me I'm happy because you're there." He looked around outside the cockpit and checked the radar. "What is your heart telling you, bud?"

"I don't know…I'm all mixed up. On one hand I want to strangle Uncle Michael with my bare hands, but even when I punched him the other day it didn't make me feel better…it just made it worse. And things will never be the same again. I… I don't want to be a wimp and cry…" There was a catch in is throat.

"Crying doesn't make you a wimp." Matt looked at him. "CJ taught me that a few years back when Daddy died." He gave Tony a sad smile. "It just makes you human, Tony. It's okay. Look, your dad cried didn't he?"

"Yeah."

"Do you know Uncle Roy cried when we were on the way to pick you guys up?"

"No."

"He did." Tony thought of Roy as a grandfather and knew how tough the elder Houston was. "It's okay, bud. If that's what it takes to give yourself some peace – let it go." He was surprised as Tony threw his arms around his neck and let loose, letting all of the hate, anger, and fear that he had been keeping bottled up for the last week out, his sobs finally turning to hiccups as the tide of emotion washed over him and Matt held on tight. He sat back down in the seat and swiped at tears as Matt handed him a bandana.

After drying his eyes and blowing his nose he started to hand the piece of material back to his uncle who just shook his head, turned back to check the radar once again, then began chuckling. "What?"

"Why does everybody snot their nose on my bandana and then try to give it back to me? Never fails." He looked over at the boy and both began laughing. "See? It didn't hurt you to laugh, did it?"

"No." Tony sighed and looked around the cockpit. "Thanks."

"You're welcome. Wanna take the controls?" He cut his eyes over at the boy who simply nodded and took the yoke into his hands as Matt turned off the auto-pilot, the two continuing to talk as they flew along.