Hi everyone, first I want to say thanks again for all the reviews and to those who are still taking this ride with me. This is the only chapter Lois will not be in but she is mentioned. I needed to have this chapter because of the fact that Chloe and Clark like it or not had a long friendship, which was deeply rooted in his secret. To not address how his living affected her would be poor writing and would not honor this story at all. I know her character fell from favor as the years went on, but I like to think that she has grown stronger.
Please understand I am a strong Clois fan, I never liked the Chloe and Clark pairing that happened, but I understood, that if I had a hot guy such as Clark as a best friend I might have gone there too. Enjoy, and don't forget to let me know what you think.
Disclaimer: I own nothing but my thoughts and the stories I create.
In Medias Res
"Into the middle of things"
"Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars." Kahlil Gibran
Chapter 11
"Auntie Chloe!"
Yelled an excited JJ as he ran down the steps to meet her. He jumped in her arms. Chloe laughed as JJ began kissing her face.
"Now that's a welcome!" exclaimed Jimmy behind them.
JJ's head shot up.
"Uncle Jimmy!" he yelled excitedly and Chloe set him down so he could run to his favorite uncle.
"Hi sport, I heard you got a big birthday surprise since last I saw you."
JJ beamed proudly.
"Yes! My daddy is here!"
Just then, Clark came around the corner of the house, wiping his hands.
"Chloe!" he exclaimed surprised.
She turned to face him. As he closed the distance between them, she couldn't help notice that he was wearing his trademark plaid and jeans.
She shook her head, if she wanted to, she could almost believe that nothing had changed. That he had not left, that it was all as it was before.
JJ came running over to his dad.
"Look Uncle Jimmy, its daddy." He declared.
Jimmy came and stood next to Chloe and extended his hand out to Clark.
"Jimmy Olson, welcome home!"
Clark shook his hand.
"Thanks jimmy, it's good to be home."
Chloe turned to jimmy.
"Why don't you go show JJ that thing you were telling me about." She suggested.
Jimmy looked at her confused. She arched her eyebrow at him.
"You know that thing you talked on and on about."
He smiled uneasy suddenly realizing what she was getting at.
"Oh yeah!" he exclaimed and turned and faced JJ who rolled his eyes.
"Come on uncle Jimmy, I want to show you my new Batman action play set."
Jimmy shot one last look at Chloe before letting JJ pull him away.
"That was real smooth Chloe!"
Clark exclaimed sarcastically as the retreating pair entered the farmhouse.
Clark turned and began heading towards the barn. Chloe followed.
"We're alone aren't we?"
He grunted as they entered the barn.
"So, let me have it. I doubt you drove all the way out here so Jimmy could play with JJ's Batman play set."
Chloe followed him up the stairs to the loft.
"What the hell were you thinking Clark?"
He walked over t the couch and sat down.
"Chloe I-"
"No, sorry is not going to cut it!"
She shook her head standing before him.
"Do you know what it's like to care for you Clark, to be you friend?"
He looked up at her somberly.
"I know it isn't easy."
"No it's masochistic!"
She turned away from him, paced over to the desk, and picked up the framed picture of Lana.
"I would have given my life to keep your secret. I endured it all; the Lana drama, the I'm an alien, poor me I cant be like everyone else."
She set the picture down.
"I forgave you over and over again for all the times you took our friendship for granted, tossing me and everyone else aside because all that mattered to you was how you couldn't be with Lana."
He lowered his head.
"What happened to Lana was sad, and tragic. But she was not a saint Clark."
She turned and faced him.
"She made her choices and mistakes like everyone else."
He lifted his head and looked at her.
"She died because of me Chloe."
She nodded.
"Yes, she did, and after you still continued on your destructive path."
He starred at her silent, she was right, how could he argue.
"You told Lois she should have died instead of Lana."
She pointed out accusingly. He closed his eyes at the sudden rush of guilt and shame.
"I wish I could take that back."
He replied softly.
"But you can't Clark, you left us all and you didn't even have the decency to say goodbye."
He was silent.
"You never wrote, never visited. If it wasn't for those articles you would send me everyone once in a while I would never know you were still alive."
She shook her head.
"I hated keeping that from everyone, I had to pick up the pieces of my cousin and stare at your parents knowing that I knew where you had been, what you were doing. I wanted to tell them so many times but I just couldn't. I didn't want to face the questions. Why hasn't he written, why hasn't he let us know he is all right? How could I answer questions that I myself did not know how to make sense of?"
He shook his head,
"I'm not proud of how I handled things Chloe. I didn't mean to burden you when I sent those articles. I spent those years training and traveling the world I saw things, I experience the world in its rawness and it had to be shared. I had to shed light on the dark corners of the world where suffering and injustice reigned. But I also spent those years trying to forget, but I couldn't. I just couldn't take the chance that I could be pulled back into your lives. I felt it was better that I had left. It was the only way to keep you all safe from me." "I just didn't want to hurt anyone else. Lois-oh god Chloe, her eyes, she was so hurt, I saw what I did. I couldn't stay and-"
"Then why come back, why not stay away if this was about keeping us safe from you. Why are you back at all?"
She asked cutting him off.
He stood up and her eyes followed him as he went to stand facing the large window.
"Because this is where I belonged."
She starred at his back.
"I felt something that day with Lois."
She rolled her eyes,
"Yeah, it's called lust." She pointed out dryly.
He shook his head, turned, and faced her.
"It was more than that. It confused me; I mean we were always at each other's throats. She drove me insane and it seemed she was always able to make me feel better. She always had the right words, that day was no different Chloe."
She moved and sat down on the couch.
"It was like I stopped falling."
He raked both hands through his hair.
"Since the night Lana died, it was like I had been free falling. Then Lois put her arms around me and it stopped. She caught me!"
He shook his head
"I kissed her because I couldn't believe she was real, she was being soft, gentle and compassionate, all the things I would never associate with her."
He pushed off the window, went, and sat next to her.
"You kissed her first." She repeated her voice shaky.
He nodded,
"Yeah, and then everything else faded, all the pain, everything. I just wanted to hold on to the feeling kissing her brought up in me. I never felt that way with anyone else, it was amazing."
Chloe looked away.
"I felt at peace Chloe, after we held each other and it was like I was finally complete."
She shook her head fighting back tears.
"How do you get from completeness to wishing her dead Clark?"
He looked down at his hands.
"I saw panic in her eyes and then I realized that I could've killed her. I got angry and I blamed her for not stopping me, for kissing me back."
He looked up.
"Chloe."
He called out to her softly. She slowly turned and looked at him.
"I know I don't deserve it, but I need to mend things, set the wrongs to right. I came back because I realize that I must stop running from my destiny. I have accepted who I am; I am Kal-El, once upon a time, the last son of Krypton, and I am Clark Kent, son of Martha and Jonathan Kent and now a father."
He smiled,
"JJ deserves me to be better than I've been. He makes me believe that I can be better than I was."
He reached out and took her hand in his. She looked down at their joined hands. Such a familiar gesture, she hadn't realized how much she missed him doing that.
"I'm sorry Chloe; I'm guilty of taking your friendship for granted."
She looked up.
"I'm so glad Lois and JJ has you, you picked up the slack and grit and bared a lot, and dealt with the mess I left behind. Thank you Chloe."
She held his gaze, the sincerity of his words blazing in his eyes. She had let it all out for him and finally she could let go. She needed to make sure he wasn't back to cause more pain. She would be lying if she said that his recount of that day was not hard to hear, she could not deny that a part of her knew there was something between the two. Lois had always been vague about what exactly happen, but she shared the cliff note version.
She nodded standing up.
"I'm glad you've found where you belong Clark. I hope you follow through."
He stood up and they faced each other once more.
"But if you don't, I just want you to remember, I know your weakness to green Kryptonite."
She warned. Clark nodded he had no doubt she met every word.
