a/n- first off i want to say a big thanks to you who have been reviewing!! seriously thank you!! you're awesome!!
this is a shorter chapter and i'm not sure how i feel about what happens in it. gah, i really just don't know. please let me know what you think.
disclaimer- you know none of this is mine, right?
BELLA
Finally the day was over. I was so eager for a cigarette I practically ran to parking lot. I probably looked fucking crazy and I really didn't give a shit. On my way I looked around for Edward, I still wanted to talk to him and now I was wondering what got his panties in a bunch. I didn't see him though. I grabbed a cigarette from the pack in my backpack and stuck a lighter in my pocket. With my unlit cigarette hanging from my lip, I headed to the back of the parking lot. As my truck came into view I nearly shit myself.
"What the fuck," I breathed out loud.
Pulled up into the spot beside my truck was a police cruiser. Gabe was standing beside it giving me a sheepish grin.
"Sorry Bella. Charlie wanted me to follow you home," he said once I was in earshot.
I couldn't speak. I just stared at him with my mouth hanging open.
"Sorry," he shrugged."He's just looking out for ya. Ya know?"
"This is fucked up."
"Bella."
"No fuck this. This shit is fucked up." I stopped and shook my head. "OK? When I get home, what then? Is someone going to be sitting outside the fucking house babysitting me till he gets off?" I couldn't help myself, I was shouting across the parking lot at Gabe and a crowd was starting to gather. I shook my head, "Fucking stupid!"
"Come on now Bella," Gabe said in a low voice.
Angry tears were stinging behind my eyes, "Why is he doing this?" I said softly through gritted teeth.
"He's just looking out."
"Why? What isn't he telling me?"
"Bella, I know the same as you."
At this point I just wanted to get the fuck out of here. Half the fucking school was standing around watching me yell at a police officer, honestly I would probably have to watch this shit too. It was pretty fucking surreal. I fumbled in my pocket for my lighter, I pulled it out and realized my hand was trembling. It took several tries before it the gas and spark caught, I held the small flame to the end of the cigarette I'd ripped from my mouth earlier, staring at Gabe as I inhaled deeply to light it. The nicotine instantly calming me, I closed my eyes and exhaled. "Fuck it," I resigned and continued walking to my truck.
"Miss Swan, there's no smoking on school grounds."
Mr Aro had apparently came from the front office to see what was drawing a crowd in the parking lot. I couldn't help but laugh. I took another drag from my cigarette and opened the door of to my truck. "I'm fucking going," I said jumping up into the cab of the truck andpulling the door shut behind me. A turn of the key bringing the Beast to life and drowning out anything else the principal or anyone else had to say. I backed out quickly andtore out of the parking lot, Gabe's cruiser close behind.
Once back at Charlie's I continued to sit out in the Beast and chain smoke. When I'd moved on to my 2nd cigarette, Gabe had driven off, deciding that I wasn't going anywhere I guessed. After my 5th, I decided to go inside.
Alice hadn't called me today, and I wondered briefly if she would after I'd hung up on her yesterday. After she'd told me what she really thought of James and me. After I paid no attention to her opinions. No, I guessed she wasn't going to call. I chewed gently on my lip as I slowly headed up the walk to Charlie's house.
Charlie's patrol car pulled up into the driveway beside the house, he climbed out as I reached the front step. "Ah, you managed to get yourself more cigarettes I see." I nodded. "Seems you may be in some trouble up at the school tomorrow," a slight smile played on his lips.
I smirked and let out a short laugh, "Well that's sort of your fault isn't it?"
The corners of his mouth pulled up more, the smile flirting with an actual appearance on his lips as he shook his head. "Nope, Bella. You brought that on yourself."
"Fuck. Really?"
"Bella you must know that smoking isn't allowed on school grounds? I'm sure it wasn't allowed at your school in Phoenix either."
I stared at my father. "What the hell are you doing sending me a police escort home? What the hell is going on? You told me last night you'd tell me." I could feel the tears beginning to sting at my eyes again.
"If you'd answer your phone or call me, I wouldn't have to send an escort. And I told you that I'd tell you what I knew. I did. I'm sure the Phoenix police have a lot on their plates, too much I'm sure to worry much about some punk ass kid that tries to beat up on his girlfriends parents. So I'm sure they're not keeping the closest of tabs on his next move and trying to hunt him down." He stared into my eyes. "So, I don't 'know' a lot. But I'll tell you what I think." He extended his index finger and pointed at me. "What I think, Bella, is that he for some reason thinks of you as his property. And I think he thinks that he can come here and get you. And I'm not letting that happen."
I shrugged, and said softly, "He loves me."
"No Bella. He loves having you."
"You don't have any fucking idea. You don't know him."
"I don't need too." He paused, lowering his voice, "Bella, tell me this. Has James ever, ever hurt you?"
I swallowed andlooked down at the ground.
"That's what I thought. I don't need to know him Bella, I've been him."
I looked up in to Charlie's deep brown eyes that were the same as mine. They were so sad. I'm sure the confusion was evident in my face.
"Why do you think your mom left."
I inhaled sharply.
"Let's go inside," Charlie said opening the door to the house and heading in. I followed behind to the kitchen table where we both sat. And Charlie launched into his tale.
I'd known how he and Renee had married just out of high school, that I had come along less than a year later and way before they had planned on. I also knew that Renee had always been miserable in Forks and wanted to see more of the world. But, the rest, that I'd never heard.
My quiet loving father, admitted to being so jealous and possessive he rarely let Renee from his sight before their marriage. After the wedding, when he'd taken law enforcement classes in Seattle Renee stayed in Forks, he came home only on the weekends for six months. During one of his weekend visits home, they fought about what they usually fought about, her being stuck in Forks while he was off in the big city. He lost his temper and hit her, slapped her across the face. When he told me this all the blood drained from my face.
He'd apologized immediately, leaving the house in embarrassment and regret for his actions. But it wasn't the last time. He had never hit me, he promised. It was after a fight that Renee pack our things and left. It was 6 months before he tracked us down in California, Renee demanded a divorce, Charlie gave it to her. She allowed visitation only after he'd gone to therapy and never said a word about the abuse in court knowing it would end his career. She still loved him, she just couldn't do it anymore.
I had no words to respond to all that Charlie had told me.
"So Bella, that's why I can't let him anywhere near you. I broke your mother, she came back, maybe better than before," he smiled softly. "But I still broke her, I did that and I can't ever forgive myself that. And I can't let someone do the same thing to you. I can't." His voice was low, nearly a whisper and his sad eyes were filled with tears that had yet to spill over.
I felt as though I'd been kicked in the stomach. I was having trouble breathing. I couldn't process. Couldn't wrap my head around it all. Couldn't speak.
I pulled off the button down uniform shirt of Charlie's that I had been wearing. My upper arms ringed with the green, purple and blue of fading bruises. The marks made large rough hands grabbing me in anger and shaking, shaking my small intoxicated body, screaming in my face.
That night, after hauling off and slamming some kid through my mother's picture window, with blood still on his hands from that kids face. James had grabbed me, shook me, accused me of flirting with this kid I'd never met before. That's when I passed out. He must have dropped me to the floor and left.
He did it cause he loved me. Because I was his. Right? Did it matter.
It was Charlie's turn to be shocked. He inhaled sharply, blood draining from his face when he recognized what I was showing to him. His face steeled. I closed my eyes and placed my hand around the ring hanging from my neck. Tears began to seep from my eyes. "But he loves me," I whispered.
a/n-ok so there it was, geez that was kinda heavy huh? hope you didn't hate it.
