Chapter 11

Logan woke up the next day with a small headache. His little argument with Kendall the night before still replayed in his mind. Kendall was so... inconsiderate to think that this was all Logan's fault. This was all of their faults, and nothing could change that. All of them played a part in this, and now all of them had to live up the consequences. Carlos had tried to end his short life. Using a knife.

Logan felt so bad because he had been part of the reason this had happened. Poor Carlos didn't even know what he was doing. Carlos didn't know how much he would regret it afterwards. Some people wouldn't regret it, but Carlos wasn't that type of person. He enjoyed life, and had no care in the world. But now, his childlike innocence had sort of been broken. Broken into a few big pieces.

They were going to see Carlos today at the hospital. The doctors weren't sure when Carlos would wake up, but Logan had a strange feeling that today was Carlos's waking day. He just knew it.

After an awkwardly silent breakfast of cereal, pancakes, and sausages, the boys finally set off for the hospital. Mrs. Knight and Katie were staying at home; for fear that Katie still hadn't recovered from being traumatically scarred for life.

Logan started up the car. "I have a feeling Carlos is going to wake up today." He said randomly. Wow, what a conversation starter, he thought sarcastically. Logan was bad at starting and ending conversations.

"Yeah. Maybe." Kendall and James said simultaneously. They smiled the smallest smile possible at each other. But it was a smile nonetheless.

"The least we can do is be there when Carlos wakes up." Logan added, faking the brightness in his voice.

"Yeah. It's the least we can do." Kendall and James replied again, laughing at how much time they'd been spending with each other.

"Wow, you guys are saying everything alike today." Logan smiled brightly. Their day was already getting better. Soon, the boys arrived at the hospital entrance in a better mood.

Kendall took a deep breath. "We're all ready, right?" The other two nodded. Kendall whipped the door open, and the three boys walked in, preparing to see what they had done to Carlos.

line line line line line line

Carlos was still unconscious. That one little stab had done a lot of damage to him. In a way, it almost killed him.

"Carlos." James whispered softly. He had a trace of guilt and fear in his voice. Kendall just stood there, looking like he didn't know what to do or say.

Logan didn't know what Carlos had been thinking. They must have been really horrible to Carlos if he was going to kill himself because of them. They were horrible, and they deserved to be on a hospital bed, not Carlos. Carlos was everything to Logan; his best friend, his partner, his fun ball of energy, his little brother, his follower in a way, his... everything. Logan just wished he had realized that before he had gone along with his life, being a jerk to Carlos and not noticing the pain Carlos was in.

Carlos was the one who ha been the Good Luck Patrol with Logan. Logan now knew that Carlos was sort of his good luck. If Carlos was gone, Logan would be gone halfway, too.

Suddenly, Logan heard a tiny movement. Carlos was waking up. The Latino stirred in his bed, and suddenly, Logan was standing over him, begging for him to wake up. "Carlos, please open your eyes." Logan whispered desperately.

Carlos did. He blinked open his deep brown eyes. "Where am I?" He asked with his innocent voice that Logan had learned to love. Carlos looked so confused and so lost, like he thought Logan was still mad at him. Well that's what Carlos actually still thought, since he didn't know the guilt Logan felt yet.

"In the hospital. Don't you remember anything?" Logan told him worriedly. What if Carlos lost his memory? What if Carlos didn't remember who he was? Or James or Kendall? What if Carlos wasn't the same cheerful little guy he was before he tried to end his life? What if everything about him was different now? But all his worries were gone when he saw Carlos nod.

"I... I tried to do sooside." Carlos said regretfully. Logan smiled.

"Its suicide, buddy." Kendall told Carlos, looking amused. Carlos just shrugged and closed his eyes again.

"So... so you guys don't hate me anymore?" Carlos asked quietly, tears forming in his eyes. Logan immediately shook his head vigorously.

"No! And we're really really really sorry, Carlos. We don't know what came over us. Blaming you for everything, that was really stupid of us. I'm sorry that I blamed you for messing up my folders. If I had just double checked it, I would have found that I mixed it up. That was completely my fault. I'm so sorry, Carlitos." Logan whispered sadly. Carlos held his arms out, and Logan gave him a big hug. Only Carlos was able to make hugs feel grown up and childish at the same time.

"And I'm really sorry I blamed you for messing up my date with Jo. That was really just her own stupid problem. If she dumped me, then she wasn't the right girl for me. There's so many more girls at the Palm Woods, and they're all better than Jo will ever be. She was just a stupid soul who I fell for accidentally." Kendall admitted. He didn't care about Jo, and Jo didn't care about him. It all worked out.

"But... but I like Jo." Carlos said, hating that Kendall and Jo were breaking up. Carlos really liked how Jo treated him, and wondered what would happen if Jo heard the whole story from Carlos. She may hate Carlos after that, but at least Kendall would forgive him, right?

"I'm really sorry, Carlos. None of this is your fault." Kendall added finally. Carlos just nodded and sighed.

James stood up from the chair he was wordlessly sitting on through this whole thing. "Carlos, I'm sorry for getting mad at you because you punched my face. I mean, I just really wanted the job, but now I know that being a beautiful, famous model isn't worth it if you weren't my best friend anymore, Carlos. It wasn't worth it anymore if you weren't there. I'm really really sorry, man." James said quietly. Carlos had to lean in to hear what James was saying.

"It's not your fault, James. If I was just smarter, maybe I wouldn't have taken it literally. It's kinda really my fault, James." Carlos said sadly, looking down at his hands. James looked up and gaped.

"What! This is not, nor will ever be, your fault, Carlos. Never think that again." James replied immediately. How could Carlos blame himself for this? Carlos was too modest for his own good sometimes. Like now.

"Thanks, guys. I thought you really hated me. I mean, you guys just laughed at me so much, and it just felt like I was being bullied all over again..." Carlos's eyes filled with tears that spilled out. He started sobbing because he really thought his friends had left him all alone. Just like he was alone when his dad abused him. Carlos was so scared the past few days, and he felt like he was unwanted.

Logan felt guilt fill his small body. This was all their fault. They made Carlos feel unwanted and unneeded in unimportant. They made him feel like he was bullied, like he had been bullied by Clyde. Logan almost wanted to throw up when he thought about how similar he had been to Clyde those past few days, maybe even week. What had been wrong with him?

"Carlos. Listen to me." Kendall took Carlos's chin and lifted it up until Carlos saw Kendall's pale face. "You are the most important person in my life. Don't ever think otherwise." He said firmly.

James nodded and grinned. "You're the most important person in my life, too, Carlos."

Logan nodded his head. "Mine, too. I couldn't live without you, Carlos."

Carlos seemed comforted, but something else seemed to be bothering him. Logan couldn't tell what. He just dropped it for the time being; he didn't want to pressure Carlos any further to admit what he had been feeling until he was ready. That was the least Logan could do for Carlos.

"I believe you." Carlos whispered. He wiped the salty tears away from his face, and looked up at them. "I love you guys. Not in the really gross way." He added quickly, not wanting them to get the wrong idea.

"You'll always be our little brother, Carlos. You'll always be out little boy." Kendall told him gently, messing up Carlos's black hair. Carlos smiled for real. It had been one of the first smiles for... forever. Well, only since Kendall, James, and Logan started hating him more than skunks.

For the first time since weeks ago, Carlos finally felt a little bit wanted. A little bit needed in the world.

A/N- Carlos wakes up! Yay! Don't you all just love it when Carlos wakes up from unconsciousness? I sure do!

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