A few days after Eridan had bought you the apartment he insists you stay with him at the estate so he can help you detox. You protest as much as you can mostly because you're scared; you remember what you were like before the drugs you were sad all the time because you didn't have a distraction. After a lot of sad looks from him you agree; you knew it would be uncomfortable but what you did not know is that it was going to be this painful. At first you were fine, you'd had benzos and a few other things a few hours before and all he wanted you to do was lay down in his bed. He talked to you for awhile to distract you and brought you comics to keep your mind off things but after a few more hours you started to get antsy. You wanted to get up, you wanted to go outside and once you got agitated that's when he had the whole floor you were on closed off to all the staff except a nurse.
Eridan sits by your bed holding your hand the whole time as the aches come, your body literally feels like its dying and it's worse than anything you've ever felt before. The shakes and vomiting are nothing compared to outright screams of pain that come out of your mouth while in that bed. You toss and turn so violently he gets scared and tries to hold you down afraid you might have a seizure but it only agitates you more. He takes most of your blows during the struggling.
Several times over the next few days you get out of bed and start throwing things around the room in a rage. You don't even realize the extent of the damage you're doing to his home, yourself, and him. The nurse Eridan has to help him is frail and cannot hold you down when you start to try and jump out of the three story window on the fifth day.
"Tavros, you've got to calm down. It's okay; it's going to be fine." Eridan wraps his arms around your torso pulling you back to the bed; his usually perfectly styled hair is floppy and sweaty from fighting with you.
"Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you! I'll kill you; I'll slit your goddamn throat if you don't let me go! Let me go!" You flail and spit in his face several times and he nods at the nurse to bring in the bed straps finally. He had tried to avoid them thinking that lying in bed with you and just trying to coax you down from the anxiety was going to be enough but between the suicide attempts and you constantly trying to hurt yourself every time he turns his back; he knows he has no choice. He has never done this before and he was starting to admit to himself that he was in over his head
The nurse comes back with the straps and helps him strap you down to the bed which only infuriates you more. Your stomach is twisting in tight knots and body tremors that rip through you with so much force you actually lose consciousness for over thirty minutes.
In those moments where you just lie there Eridan climbs in the bed beside you and squeezes you tight in a hug.
"I'm sorry." He whispers and sheds a few tears out of pure exhaustion, he just wanted you to get better, but instead he felt like he was losing the good parts of you because of the violence. When a faint knock rattles the door which is only hanging on by one hinge due to your throwing yourself against it; he sits up and answers for them to come in.
Ampora Sr. walks in slowly looking from the smashed glass on the floor to the blood stains on the sheets from where you literally bit yourself during your rages.
"This is the type of person you wasted your time trying to find? You went through all that trouble finding this drug addict fool?" He said angrily.
Eridan narrows his gaze "You don't know him dad, he's going to get better soon I know he is, he didn't mean to do anything—
"Yeah, they never do; guys like him. They never mean anything, so don't waste your time getting involved with them do you hear me son?"
"But dad—
"Eridan, don't disappoint me. I never thought I'd have to say that to you but I am only telling you one more time, do not disappoint me. I want this heathen off of my property in no less than 48 hours." He snaps and then walks out of the room.
҉
When you do wake up again the nurse has to sedate you every few hours to make you actually sleep and to keep you from crying out. Eridan leaves you with her to get a little sleep around the afternoon and the severity of your rages and irritation comes to a slight plateau but you still can't keep down anything you eat or drink which only serves to make you dehydrated and weak.
This, you have to admit is the hardest thing you've ever done, and of all the times you've ever been homesick this amplifies it by a thousand. It may seem childish but all you want more than anything is to talk to your mother, you've never felt this lonely in your whole life. That's what the drugs had been for in the first place; to distract you from missing them. In the evening when the door opens you look up hoping to see Eridan so you can apologize but you're shocked when you see Gamzee walk into the room, a grey cap on his head and a green jacket pulled over his usual pajama-esque attire.
You open your mouth to say something but a wave of tremors just causes you to close your eyes and flinch until they pass. He kneels down next to your bed and takes his hat off looking you over with a hint of sadness in his eyes. A part of you is happy to see him, another part of you wishes he hadn't come for obvious reasons; you didn't want anyone to see you like this, and you were just starting to pretend you were over Gamzee.
"How'd you get h-h-here?" Your voice comes out small and shaky and you regret him being here even more.
"I was calling your phone, I was texting you because I was worried about you. Then, I got a phone call from your number and it's fucking Eridan, asking me to come see you. Now why did he get the idea I wanted to see your grubby face?" He tries to smile but it isn't like his usually smile, this one is forced.
"It's because he knows you're the only one who can make me better." You try to laugh but just end up doubled over from coughing really hard. He helps you lay back down and you're too weak to say anything else to him.
"He's not that bad." He shrugs and looks around the room trying to think of anything to fill the gaps in the conversation.
"Why did you come?" You whisper.
"Because I think I fucking love you." He stands up and starts walking towards the door. This is not what you needed, you wanted to try and forget Gamzee. He had said you were too much to handle in his life, he had said he didn't want to face the idea of sharing you with Eridan and now he fucking loves you.
Great, just great.
You turn your head to follow his movements.
"I know, I know you do. So why did you leave me?"
"Who left you Tav? I just had to go downstairs to check on a few things but I was coming right back up." Eridan walks through the door ripping your hallucination into shreds. You actually let out a whimper of sadness at the fact that you had imagined it all. It would make it easier on your heart if Gamzee could be there but in all reality you didn't want him to see you like this.
"Are you okay?" Eridan stops short of his sentence and sits down on the bed beside you. You can't hold it in anymore. You sit up and grab him into a tight hug and start crying your eyes out.
He tries to ask you what's wrong but you can't even get it out so he just ends up petting your head until you pull yourself together.
After a moment you let your grip on him go wiping at your face and taking a few deep breaths.
When you look up at him he leans forward and starts to kiss you, running his fingers through your sweaty hair.
You don't kiss back but you don't push him away either because it feels comforting and strange. It's not the way you would kiss someone you're lusting after, but the way you kiss someone because they're sad.
"I love you Tav, You're the best friend I ever had. And I love you, too much if you ask me. So I need you to get better okay?" He pleads. You don't know whether it because of the hallucination or because of the emotional rollercoaster the last few days have been but you know it's going to take you a very long time to get better physically and emotionally. But at least one thing you know you can count on is that you won't be going through it alone.
After awhile you both lay down under the covers and you rest your head on his chest and try to sleep for the first time without having to be sedated. Eridan talks and talks to you about all the fun things you'll do together when you get better and that is the soundtrack you fall asleep to.
When you wake up you find the straps and medical supplies removed from the bed entirely and the room has been cleaned up. You sit up and look around noticing a bag resting at the foot of the bed.
You unzip it and notice it's all of your things.
Eridan pops his head in and smiles at you. "Good you're awake; I was thinking today we could get dressed and move you over to the apartment." Unbeknownst to you that's just code for "My dad hates you so I have to take you somewhere else." You just nod and let him dress you since you're still feeling weak and a bit on edge.
When you walk downstairs towards the door, the staff and even Feferi give you small sympathetic smiles as they pass by you. After the third or fourth person does it you nudge Eridan in the ribs
"I was a nightmare wasn't I? They look scared of me now." You pout a little at the fact that no one will make eye contact with you except him. He tells you not to worry about it and shuffles you out to the car. Once you're inside the car you take out your phone to text Equius and convince him to bring Nepeta to the apartment building on East 11th street. He agrees reluctantly and you do a silent rejoice as you put your phone away.
By the time Eridan gets in the car you're starting to cheer up, happy that you have a chance to leave the Ampora residence and also that at least one of your friends is talking to you again. By the time you fight through the heavy traffic on Broadway, Equius is already parked outside of the building waiting for you. Eridan raises and eyebrow but the excited way you get out of the car lets him know this is someone you actually know.
"Equius, I don't usually do this but I'm gotta hug you man, so incoming Tavros hugs coming at ya." You rush forward and he leans down to hug you crushing you in the process.
"Incoming Tavros hugs received." He laughs and lifts you up.
"Too tight Equius, no air." You pant and he puts you back down on the ground ruffling your hair a bit.
"You look a lot better than I expected you to; detox hell really brings out the colors in your eyes." He pretends to swoon over you and you laugh a little embarrassed as Eridan watches.
"This is my friend Equius, that's Eridan. He took care of me." You smile trying to lighten the mood. Equius's former smile kind of fades and he just nods at Eridan who does the same in response. In their silence you can see something pass between them that's unspoken, as if they've already met or are marking their territory with each other. Eridan was really starting to grow on you but you still worried about how most of your friends would receive him. He's an acquired taste definitely so you hope it goes better with Nepeta.
"Where is she?" You break the silence and they both break their stare with each other.
"She's in the backseat of the car, she said and I quote "You can bring the kitty to the milk but you can't make her drink." He shrugs.
You walk over to his SUV, struggling to get in since it sits so high up off the ground and you're a bit on the short side.
You climb in the front seat and close the door, turning around in the seat to face Nepeta.
She doesn't look angry or anything just shocked and reaches out to touch your face.
"What the hell Tavros?" She whispers. You guess you still look like hell, and you're really not used to people staring as much.
"I'm okay, it's just I stopped taking the pills." You shrug it off like its nothing.
"Forever?" She sits up to play with your hair a little.
"I don't know, I want to be done with it forever, but I've said that plenty of times. I'm just going to try."
She nods and fiddles with the oversized shirt she's wearing over some cutoff jeans.
"Nep, I love you a lot. And I'm sorry I wasn't there for you when everything happened. I don't always have my priorities straight and I tend to ruin things for myself but not because they don't matter. I ruin the things I love most in life, that's just how I am. I try to destroy what I love before I lose it and it destroys me. I know I probably can't convince you to still move into that apartment with me, but I just need you back you know?"
She nods slowly and runs a hand through her hair that's gotten longer since you last saw her.
"I'm sorry for everything I said to you, I didn't mean any of it except that part about loving you and you acting like you didn't know it. I know deep down you knew it; otherwise you wouldn't have taken care of me. I also know that whatever you had to do for money was because you just needed it to live. I was a downright ass to you, and I'm sorry." She leans toward the front seat and kisses you quickly on the lips.
"I know everything you did was mostly for me, but you know I'm going to be okay. I think you need this apartment to be something that's just for you, that's just for Tavros only. I'm going to keep staying with Equius…I um kind of fancy him. He's brave, and never mean, always honest. The same kinds of qualities you have." She gives your hand a squeeze.
You're happy you're both talking again, but you'd be lying if you said you didn't wish she'd still move in. But ultimately she's right; you have to do this for you now and no one else.
"So, even though I'm not staying would you still be willing to show me what the place looks like?"
You smile and help her out of the car and start telling her all about the apartment as you walk inside, Eridan cuts in halfway to tell them about the obsidian tiles in the bathroom again which makes you happy that he's starting come around to your friends.
