I said at the very beginning of this story that I will be doing time jumps and such, if things don't make sense, they will eventually.
So This Is It
Chapter Eleven
I looked out the car window, taking a deep breath before I pulled on the handle. I stepped out of the cab, and looked around. Like I said, this place was slightly different from when I last left it, but then again, I was slightly different. Hell, I was very different. I've changed a lot over the years. Three years is a long time. It's too long to be separated from your family. If I could go back in time to stop this from happening, I would in a heartbeat, but time travel is not possible.
Darry stopped in his tracks. I know I got here at a bad time, knowing he was probably headed to work.
"Ponyboy?" he said, sounding and looking a little taken aback. It was like I died, and I came back, like a ghost. Maybe I was.
I put on an awkward and small smile. "Hey, Darry."
He still looked as if he'd seen a ghost, and well, he might as well have. It wasn't everyday where someone you haven't seen in months, years, shows up on your sidewalk. I didn't even know I was going to do this until a couple hours ago.
"What...how-" He was shaking his head, confused. I didn't blame him though, I didn't fully understand myself.
"It's actually a long story." Which was very true. It was one of the few times I wasn't lying, and it kind of felt good to be honest. Besides, I didn't want to tell him the story, not just because of the length, but because things had happened that I wouldn't want him to know, and I was still putting the puzzle together. I'm no where close to finishing telling you the story. I'm no where near the end of living the story myself.
oOo
When I stepped out into the bright sunlight, from the darkness of the Millers' house, I had one thing on my mind; I was going home.
Well, not home, exactly, but I was going to Tulsa just for a couple of hours. I was excited, but at the same time, worried and nervous.
I've been trying the best I could to get in contact with my family. But payphones cost money, and I don't have much. Plus when I do manage to scramble up some quarters, no one ever picks up the phone. I know they're at work, but I don't know Darry's work site number since it changes frequently, and as time had passed, I kind of forgot the number to the DX. I felt bad about that, but it just happened and there's nothing I can do about it but try to look where the Mr. Miller keeps the phonebook, but if I even tried to do that I would most likely get caught since Mrs. Miller is always usually there when I'm there. You're never alone in the house.
Now, I am going to a bus station, and would be in Tulsa shortly. The thing is, there was only a slim chance I would get to see anyone I wanted to see. The chances of any of the gang showing up at Buck's is a long shot. Perhaps Two-Bit, but that's about it. Maybe even Steve…
I watched the sunset on the bus ride. It sank behind the horizon and gold, pink, purple and blue lit the sky. I thought of Johnny. I thought of that sunset back in Windrixville. The silver mist. Despite the fact that that week was one of the worst things in my life, I'd do anything to go back to there, to that moment. Say that poem.
I hardly remember that poem. I can't think of it anymore. I tried hard to, but I just can't.
I hate that. I hate it so much! I'm losing myself almost. I don't even know who I am anymore. I hate that. It hurts sometimes. It hurts that I can't even remember which drawer the silverware is at my house, or well Darry and Soda's house...
...if they still live there.
I don't know. They probably do but I don't know anything nowadays. I hate it so much. I hate social services. I hate death. I hate foster care. I hate myself.
I hate everything and I hate the fact that I do.
If I could go back to that week, if I could redo everything that happened, I would. I wouldn't have gone to that movie with Dally. I would've stayed home. I would've never met up with him at that street corner. Pickett and Sutton… Johnny and Dallas would still be alive and I wouldn't be here on this bus. All this stuff happened because of me. I feel like everything is my fault and everyone else seems to take the punishment. It's like I'm a walking bag of bad luck and misfortune, and I'm probably not the only bag out there.
The thing is, I didn't care. Not anymore at least.
I looked at the colors fading into the navy blue sky as the sun sank behind the horizon one last time. I haven't seen a sunset or sunrise since I left my family but Johnny's face is the only thing that appeared in my mind. I'm sorry Johnny, but I guess Robert Frost was right, nothing gold can stay.
We got to Tulsa shortly after and Jason lead the way as if he grew up in this town. I really wanted to split, make a run for it, go home. It wasn't that far from here, a mile or two. I could run it and I knew Jase didn't give a crap if I did or not. The only thing is was that I didn't, couldn't. I felt like something was holding me back, but I don't know what it was and it took me awhile to understand it.
"Hurry up, Ponyboy!" Jase yelled, only a few feet in front of me. "If you get lost, I'd leave you here I hope ya know."
I rolled my eyes, he didn't know this, but I couldn't get lost. We were on the greaser side, the east side. This was my place, my town. Or it at least used to be.
We approached the bar, and I sighed. I haven't been here since the night of the fountain, but I shook my head. I couldn't think of that. It was the past, and I had to forget and move on, despite how hard it was for me.
There were a lot of people there. Laughter and the stench of alcohol filled the air. You could hear clicks of glasses, loud music, and shuffling cards. Both my brothers warned me never to come here or else I'd be in deep trouble. I broke the rule before, and this time, I felt good about breaking that rule. Heck, I wish they'd catch me for breaking it and yell at me. Maybe they were here.
I decided to sit in a booth alone, separating myself from Jase. In a way, I was tempted to go up and get a drink. Buck didn't always followed the rules. He'd given underage people drinks a lot. But he'd probably say no if I went up. He knew my brothers and if they somehow found out, well, they'd find me. The more I thought about it, the more I felt that it was a great idea, but I refused the offer.
I was so into my thoughts that I jumped when I saw someone set their bottle at the other end of the table and then sit directly across from me.
"Ponyboy Curtis." Curly Shepard smiled mischievously. "Last place I thought I'd find ya."
Not the person I was looking forward to seeing, but he was a person. I smiled. "Ya know how it is. You get lonely and before you know it, you're sitting in this booth."
"You bet." Curly took a swig from his bottle, his eyes saying he was half drunk. "Haven't seen ya around the streets these days. Even when I actually do go to school, it's like you disappeared."
I was a little taken aback. I thought Curly knew, but I guess he didn't. "Yeah, man. I've been busy."
"Yeah, sure you were, man," he slurred.
"You know where I could find my brothers?"
Curly took another swig from his bottle, drinking its last drop. "Ya know more than me, Pony."
I sighed, not saying anything to Curly about being in foster care, or how Darry lost custody. I can't believe out of everyone in Tulsa that I know that I could've run into tonight, I get stuck with Curly Shepard. Curly could be very smart, but the majority of the time he was a real pain in the ass.
"Hey, ya wanna hang out tonight? Me and the gang are gunna go to a party, they'll be fights and booze."
I gave him an awkward smile. "No thanks, Curly."
The boy stood up, grabbing his empty bottle. "You're too pure, Curtis."
I shook my head. I knew he was wrong. Even though it happened only once, I still made that choice.
"Wait, Curly." I knew he was drunk, and the chances of him remembering were slim, very slim, but it was worth a shot. "If you run into my brothers, or even Two-Bit or Steve Randle, tell them I'm okay. Tell them I'm sorry."
"You're crazy, Ponyboy Curtis, but I'll try. See ya around, man."
"See ya," I mumbled even though I knew I wouldn't have.
I sat there for a few moments, despite the noises around me, everything was silent. I wish Curly didn't leave because I didn't want to be alone, but I was. I tapped my fingers on the table, trying to occupy my mind. I gazed around the bar, and that's when I saw it, or well him.
I rubbed my eyes to get a better look. I couldn't believe it. Behind the counter, bartending, working, was Two-Bit Mathews. Two-Bit didn't ever believe in working for a living. I guess a lot has changed since I left.
It took a lot out of me, but I got up, and began walked over. He noticed me, but gave me a funny look. It was like he recognized me, but wasn't sure if it was me. When I approached the counter, I gave him a smile.
"Hey, Two-Bit."
He looked stunned and astonished, I didn't blame him. I sort of felt the same way when I first spotted him.
"Ponyboy Curtis! What are ya doin' here, kid?"
It was weird hearing his voice, it was almost as if I forgot what it sounded like.
"Hoping I'd find one of you here."
Two-Bit swung a rag over his shoulder. "Are you alright, Pony? Is everything okay?"
I wanted to tell him the truth. I wanted to say no, that I was slowly dying on the inside and I couldn't stand this anymore, but I didn't. "Everything's fine."
Two-Bit was quiet, but his eyes never left me. It was weird, Two-Bit wasn't one to be in a silent conversation. He was always cracking jokes and keeping things fun and interesting. Now he was an employee. It felt wrong.
"Glory kid, it's weird just looking at ya. Why'd you come here anyway? Not home?"
I sighed. "I came here with someone else who has my bus ticket and would take off without me if I got separated. I was hoping someone would be here. How's everyone?"
Two-Bit shrugged. "I couldn't tell ya, kid. Things changed. Why haven't you called?"
"I got moved and they're very strict. But what do you mean they've changed?"
"You've missed out on a lot. Things ain't like they used to be here, ya know? I gotta job! I don't see them much because when I'm not workin' they all are. They came by to see me last week. As far as I know they're okay, but it's been a few weeks since I've actually talked to them and Steve for a good portion of time."
I shook my head. "That just doesn't make sense. Why are ya workin'?"
Two-Bit shot me a grin, the kind of grin I longed to see for ages. "It's a mystery, Pony!" He paused for a second and his smile faded. "No, I just got a little lonely."
I looked down. "Oh."
"No, don't worry about it, kid. We've all been missing you, heck even Stevie says things have been weird. But don't worry. Everything will be fine in the end. I know it!"
"I sure hope so, Two-Bit."
Two-Bit looked away for a moment, as sound of breaking glass stopped all the noise in the bar. Buck yelled something at him and he sighed. "As much as a lousy worker I am, I gotta get back to work, Pony. I'm sorry."
I nodded. "No, it's alright. I have to leave pretty soon anyway. Tell them I'm sorry I couldn't call, please? It was nice to actually see you, Two-Bit."
"Sure will. Hey, Ponyboy, don't worry so much. Oh, next time you come in town, give me a little notice."
I smiled and walked away. That whole conversation felt weird, like it was a dream, but I knew I wasn't dreaming this time. I just wish I didn't have to leave, that I could walk out those doors and go home, but if I did, Jase would definitely leave me here, I wouldn't be able to get home and Jase would probably rat me out.
My life just isn't the same anymore.
"Ponyboy, c'mon. We're leaving." Jase grabbed my arm, tugging me away. I noticed a scratch on his face and blood drizzling down his cheek. Guess I know who ruined my little reunion with Two-Bit.
I hope you guys understood the beginning of this. If not it took place back when Ponyboy was seventeen and sitting in the car debating if he should get out or not. Exactly right where that section ended in the very first chapter.
This chapter was kind of a big turning point to the story. Things will be getting more... suspenseful pretty soon. I know it's been a little lousy these last couple chapters but I had to write them to get them out of the way.
Penny for you thoughts?
-MLC99
