Disclaimer: All recognizable characters and settings belong to J.K. Rowling.
A/N: Thank you for the reviews! I know you're anxious for Harry to find the letter and for Lily to return but I need some other things to happen first. It's coming soon though! =)
Severus heard the floo and was surprised to see Harry walk through. The boy hadn't been gone that long; Severus hadn't even gone on his errands yet. The child's face was flushed and there was a definite look of anger in his eyes.
"What happened? I did not think you would be back for several hours." Severus said with a frown.
Harry shrugged. "Is it a problem? Do you want me to leave?" He huffed.
"No," Severus said slowly. "However, I do not want to be talked to in that tone." He said in a warning voice.
Harry ran his hand through his hair. "Sorry," He muttered. "Have you already gone on your errands?"
"Not yet," Severus said, wondering what could have happened to upset the boy. "Why are you angry?"
Harry sighed. "Ron and I got into a fight," He admitted.
Severus raised an eyebrow. "I see," He said. "No wands or fists were used, I trust?" His eyes narrowed when Harry didn't answer. "Well?"
"No, they weren't." Harry said. "It was a near thing though," He muttered.
"Explain," Severus said in a no nonsense tone.
"We had an argument but I didn't hit him. I wanted to for a moment there," Harry admitted.
"And he didn't hit you?" Severus asked suspiciously, feeling like Harry was leaving something out.
"No," Harry said quietly, darting his eyes away.
"Harry, if I have to I will go over to the Weasley's and find out from him myself," Severus threatened. How was he supposed to help the child if he didn't tell him what was wrong?
Harry scowled. "Fine, he said some things that upset me and I got in his face, then he shoved me and I was going to fight back but Mrs. Weasley stopped us. Happy?" He asked sarcastically.
"No," Severus pointed to a chair. "Sit."
Harry flopped into the seat, grumbling to himself.
Severus narrowed his eyes. "I understand that you are upset but I assure you, taking it out on me will not end well for you." He said in a low voice.
Harry looked at Snape's annoyed face and felt guilty. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to." He said quietly.
Severus sighed and sat across from him. "I know you don't," He acknowledged. "What did Weasley say that upset you so much?"
Harry hesitated. "Well, I mentioned I sort of like someone and he was upset that I wouldn't tell him who it is. And then," Harry bit his lip. "I mentioned that I liked staying here and you being my guardian and he just…said some stuff." Harry flushed and looked away. It spoke volumes of much he had come to trust Snape that he could be honest with him. If any other adult had asked, he would have given a vague answer and insisted everything was fine.
"Ah," Severus said as understanding crossed his face. "I assume he is being his usual mature self and wonders how you could enjoy being the greasy bat of the dungeon's ward?" He asked snidely.
Harry smiled ruefully. "Yeah, something like that."
Severus considered him for a moment. "I'm pleased that you like staying here," He finally said. "I find I like it as well. Although, I'm sure it will come as a surprise to your friends."
"He was saying stupid stuff, like that you had confunded me and that I would be better off at the Dursley's," Harry shrugged. "My temper got the better of me." He admitted.
"Understandable," Severus commented, inwardly seething at Weasley for bringing up the Dursley's. Even if he didn't know the whole truth about Harry's abuse, he knew enough to know how unhappy Harry was there. "However, before resorting to physical violence you can use your occluding abilities to calm yourself down."
Harry hadn't even thought of trying that. "I'm still not that great at occluding." He said with a sigh.
"You're getting there. You're able to do enough to help yourself control some of your emotions," Severus told him. "As for Mr. Weasley, I'm sure he will see the error of his ways soon. You've been friends a long time." Although why you would want to be his friend I have no idea, Severus thought to himself.
Harry crossed his arms. "I don't care if he does or not," He said hotly.
Really? Severus grinned to himself. "True, he has never been that good of a friend to you," He said thoughtfully, carefully watching Harry's expression.
Harry frowned slightly. "Yes, he has –," He started.
"He's never stood by your side and he is always jealous of you," Severus continued, smirking to himself at the indignant look on his ward's face. "Don't think I didn't notice how he acted your fourth year when your name was entered into the goblet of fire. He clearly only cares about himself and – "
"Wait a minute, that's not true!" Harry protested. "Okay, fourth year he was a bit of prat but he apologized and he's been a great friend to me. He's like my brother and I…" Harry stopped when he realized what Snape had been doing. He gave his guardian a mild glare. "Sneaky Slytherin," He muttered.
Severus sniffed. "I have no idea what you are talking about," He said as he stood up.
"Are you going to go get your potion ingredients?" Harry asked.
"They can wait," Severus said. "Since the topic of your friends has come up, you do know that only Mr. Weasley and Miss. Granger can know that you have been living with me correct?."
"And that we don't hate each other?" Harry grinned.
"Yes," Severus said seriously. "The less people who know about our changed situation, the safer we will be. We can't risk any of the death eater's children finding out."
Harry nodded. "They won't tell," He said confidently.
"Have you finished all of your school assignments?"
"Basically," Harry said nonchalantly.
"Meaning?"
"I'm still working on my Transfiguration essay," Harry admitted. "It's not my best subject."
"Bring your essay downstairs and I will help you," Severus instructed. "Bring it into the library and we can work on it there."
"All right," Harry agreed.
/
Severus went into the library and made sure there was plenty of parchment and quills. He hoped he had helped Harry, comforting had never been his strong suit. When Lily had been upset about how her sister had been treating her, Severus had had a hard time understanding why she cared so much. It had been clear to him that Petunia was jealous because she wasn't magical and was simply ordinary and it was hard for him to understand why Lily bothered caring so much. After all, his father had hated him for his magic and Severus couldn't have cared less for the man. But Lily, she always looked for the best in people and didn't want to give up on her sister. Even when they had found Petunia snooping on them, he remembered fondly.
"I got it!" Lily yelled as she ran towards Severus at their usual meeting spot in the park.
Severus recognized what she was waving in her hand and took out his own letter. "Our Hogwarts letters!" He said triumphantly.
Lily nodded, her green eyes shining. "I can't believe we finally have them! It makes it more real, somehow." She gazed at her letter. "It's really real," She said with a laugh.
"Told you so," Severus teased her.
Lily rolled her eyes good-naturedly. "Yes, I know. I'm so excited! I can't wait to get my school supplies!"
Severus nodded as he read through his letter again. His mum had told him that she would take him to Diagon Alley to get his supplies but that had caused his father to blow up at her in temper. He glanced up at Lily. "Um, when you go could I go with you?"
Lily accessed him for a moment. "Your dad doesn't want your Mum to take you," She said softly.
"Actually, he doesn't want either of us to have anything to do magic or Hogwarts. Thankfully, my Mum is actually standing up to him on this issue." Severus sighed. Since he had met Lily, he had opened up about how his dad treated him and his mum and how angry it made him. She had mentioned that writing everything down might help but he hadn't tried it yet. "It would just be easier if I could go with you and your family but if you don't-"
"Sev, I want you to come with me." Lily said firmly.
Severus mouth twisted into a little smile. "You're the only one I would ever let call me Sev, I hope you know."
"I know," Lily said smugly. She bit her lip. "Tell me about the Dementor's again."
"Why?"
"Well, if I use magic outside of school – "
"Lily, they wouldn't give you to the Dementors for something like that! Remember, they guard the wizarding prison, Azkaban, and you're not going to end up there, you're too -" Severus stopped, his face turning red. He picked up a leaf and began shredding it.
A rustling in the bush near them had them both jumping up. "Who's there?" Severus demanded, standing in front of Lily.
Petunia stepped out, looking slightly sheepish.
Lily stepped forward. "Tuney? You're eavesdropping on us?" Lily asked, her hands on her hips. "If you want to join us, all you have to do is ask."
"I don't want to join you!" Petunia spat out.
"Yeah? Then why are you spying on us?" Severus countered.
Petunia glared. "What are you wearing freak? Your mum's blouse?" She began snickering until a strong wind suddenly whipped around them. "Stop it!" She yelled at Severus in terror.
"It is not me," Severus reached out and gently touched Lily's arm.
Lily took a deep breath and the strong gust of wind stopped. "Tuney, if you want to join us then you are welcome to. But do not talk to Severus like that, it's rude and mean." Lily said.
Petunia spun on her heel and flounced off without a word.
"Good riddance," Severus muttered, pulling at his worn shirt. He was grateful Hogwarts had a uniform; it meant he would get some new clothes.
"She's becoming impossible!" Lily said miserably. "We used to get along so well."
Severus didn't know what to say. To him, Petunia didn't matter but he didn't have any siblings so he obviously couldn't understand. The jealous girl was just a muggle…Severus stopped that thought. He was so used to regarding his father as a pathetic muggle that it was basically second nature to him. However, Lily was from a muggle family and would be hurt if he put any member of her family down. Besides, he liked her parents and they were muggles…
"It will be okay Lily," Severus finally said. "Everything will be okay."
Harry entered the room and Severus was interrupted from his memory. He took the essay Harry was holding and glanced at it. He gave Harry a look of disapproval. "You haven't started beyond the title," He said with an eye roll. "You're entering sixth year, Harry, this will probably be the easiest essay you will have." He glanced at the title. "Ways human transfiguration is more difficult than that of an animal." He summoned a book and handed it to Harry. "Read chapters three and four," He said. "Then we will discuss it."
Harry sighed. This was going to be so boring. "Fine," He said as he sat down. "Sir, er Professor," He quickly corrected himself.
Severus hesitated. "You shouldn't have to be so formal in your own home," Severus said finally. "You may call Severus if you would like to."
Harry was surprised and touched. "Thank you…Severus," He grinned.
Severus inclined his head. "Call me that in class however…" He trailed off meaningfully.
"Detention for a month?" Harry asked cheekily.
"At least," Severus waved towards Harry's essay. "You had better get started if you want to play a game of chess before dinner."
Feeling much better even though he was still at odds with Ron, Harry began reading.
/
He was watching Uncle Vernon put bars on his window. He was under the Cruciatus curse in the graveyard while the Death Eaters laughed. He was drinking Polyjuice Potion and looking like Crabbe. He was listening to the sorting hat tell him he could be great in Slytherin.
Harry focused his thoughts on his love of flying, the clear blue skies and feeling of freedom. He was able to close off his thoughts, this time before he was on the ground shaking.
Severus looked at him in approval. "This was your best effort yet. I believe you are close to achieving true Occlumency."
Harry grinned though there was still a determined look in his eyes. "Should we try again? I don't feel as awful as I usually do after a session."
"Soon it will be effortless." Severus sat down in his armchair. "Let's take a break before trying again. Tell me about what I saw. First, what was your Uncle doing?"
Harry flopped down on the sofa. "Oh, that was after Dobby the house-elf used magic to ruin Uncle Vernon's business dinner. I got blamed and Uncle Vernon put locks on the door and window."
"I see." Severus said slowly not liking the way Harry was so nonchalant about his relative's cruelty. Those blasted muggles… "And they kept you locked in there for the rest of summer?"
"Oh no," Harry answered. "It was only for about a week. The Weasley's rescued me in their flying car and I spent the rest of summer with them."
Severus ground his teeth together. He hoped the Dursley's were miserable with the lack of sleep they were surely getting. "And the graveyard? You do know I was not there that night?"
"Yeah, I know." Harry said with a shrug. "Voldem-I mean, you-know-who had just come back and wanted to duel and torture me. The Death Eaters just stood there laughing. I had never felt such pain before." He shuddered slightly.
Severus took a deep breath. He had been horrified when he had found out that Harry had been under the Cruciatus at the young age of fourteen. Even then, when he hadn't liked the boy, he had admired Harry's strength when he had returned with Diggory's body.
"It was weird, when our wands connected," Harry said, his green eyes faraway. "I remember seeing Cedric, my Dad and a couple other people who I had never met. I don't remember seeing my Mum but Dumbledore said she would have been there as well and that I had probably blocked part of that night from shock. It was echoes of their spirits that he said I was seeing. A lot of that night is hazy so I probably just don't remember seeing her."
Severus frowned slightly. That was a little strange. If the last victims of the Dark Lord emerged from the wand, Lily would have been there too. He surmised that Dumbledore was probably right in that Harry had been in shock and blocked parts of that horrible night out.
Deciding to change the subject for now onto something lighter Severus tilted his head to one side and narrowed his eyes. "And the Polyjuice Potion? Care to explain that memory?" He asked silkily.
Harry gulped. "Um, not really."
Severus continued to stare at him, though he was mildly amused. He remembered some of his ingredients had gone missing a few years back. That was the same year someone had thrown a firework into a student's cauldron. "Hmm, perhaps we should skip over that memory." He acknowledged. "How about the Sorting Hat then? It was telling you about Slytherin?"
"Well, it was telling me that I would do well in Slytherin. But I sort of asked it not to put me there." Harry told him, feeling embarrassed. He didn't want to offend Snape.
"You asked it not to put you in the house it thought you should be in?" Severus was surprised. He had not heard of the Sorting Hat doing that before.
"It just said Slytherin could help me on my way to greatness or something like that." Harry said. "I just asked it not to put me there." Harry gave a little chuckle. "Well, begged is more like it." He quickly looked at Snape to see if he was upset.
Severus raised an eyebrow and gave a smirk, which he saw made Harry relax. "Am I to believe you were prejudiced against Slytherin even before the sorting?" He inquired.
Harry looked uncomfortable. "Kind of, I guess. Hag-someone told me that you-know-who had come from there and Ro- someone else told me that there wasn't a bad witch or wizard that hadn't come from Slytherin."
Severus rolled his eyes. It was true that Slytherin had produced some dark wizards but so had the other houses. Unfortunately because of the Dark Lord, prejudice against Slytherin was at an all time high. "It is true that many dark wizards and witches have come from Slytherin. But they have also come from Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw and Gryffindor. Peter Pettigrew would be an example of that. Quirrell as well, he was a Ravenclaw," He pointed out.
"I know that now. Back then, magic was new to me. I didn't even know the truth about how my parents died until Hagrid told me." Harry said with a shrug. He looked slightly anxious. "Are you mad because I didn't want to be in Slytherin? It wasn't just because of what I was told. I had also met Malfoy and he reminded me of Dudley. I didn't want to be in the same house as him."
"I cannot blame you for that. Mr. Malfoy is a conceited brat." Severus said matter-of-factly.
Harry couldn't help but laugh. "Senior or junior?"
"Both." Severus answered with a small grin. The day he didn't have to pretend to favor any of the Malfoy's would be a good day indeed.
"What would you have done if I had been sorted into Slytherin?" Harry asked curiously.
"Hmm, let's see." Severus considered it. "After the shock had worn off I would have put in my two weeks' notice. Once Albus talked me out that, I would have taken several calming draughts and then gone to bed, hoping it would all have been a dream when I woke up."
Harry snickered.
Severus smirked. "Actually it would take more than you to scare me off. Longbottom has come close though. I would have made sure you didn't get into most of the trouble you seemed to find yourself in. I also would have realized there was something wrong with your home life. I should have realized it anyway." Severus admitted. "I've seen the signs often enough with my own students."
"You couldn't have known." Harry shook his head. "I haven't told anyone."
"Will you be telling Mr. Weasley and Miss. Granger?" Severus asked. He knew Harry found strength in his friends. As much as the golden trio had annoyed him in the past he knew they would be there for Harry. At least he hoped they would.
"I don't know, especially with how Ron acted today. I don't really want anyone else to know." Harry said slowly. "It's embarrassing. And I really don't want sad looks and pity you know?"
Severus did know. He had felt the same way when he was younger. He had felt that embarrassment when Lily had seen the bruises on his face the first summer after having attended Hogwarts. He had resisted talking about it but even as a child Lily had been stubborn. She had not given up and he had broken down and told her what his father was like. She had helped him by simply listening and offering words of comfort. She had tried to help him see it was not his fault, that his father had been the one with the problem. "I felt the same way." Severus said finally. "I didn't want anyone else to know about my father. However, it did help talking with my best friend about it. It also helped not having to hide the truth anymore."
Harry sighed. It helped talking with Snape and writing in the journal Snape had given him, but he knew it would probably help to tell the truth to his friends. He knew in his heart they would want to know, to help him. He would want to know if one of them were being hurt in their homes. "I guess I just feel like enough of a burden. Their lives are in danger because of me as it is."
"How is that Mr. Potter?" Severus asked with a frown. "Their lives would be in the same danger either way."
"But aren't their lives more in danger because they are my friends?" Harry asked, leaning forward. "I almost got them killed at the ministry. They got hurt and they could have so easily died, all because of me." He said hoarsely.
TBC:
