The Feeling of Revenge: Chapter 11
A/N: Thanks to OneDay219, the corridor hogger, kungfupandabear. I am glad you guys really like the story! The feedback is really appreciated.
kungfupandabear - If I can answer any questions for you let me know! I will gladly answer.
All chapters are important, but certain parts of this chapter are very important. They will play a stronger role in the next chapter. Pretty soon is about to be a close breaking point for a couple of the characters.
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter
Tuesday - December 14th, 1976 - 7:40 am
"Merlin's saggy left—" Jemima's words caused both me and Prewitt to look up from our breakfast. She never bothered to swear unless it was something serious. Still, it was apparently not that serious since she cut herself off.
Prewitt took the opportunity of her silence to read the page of the Daily Prophet Jemima had her eyes on moments before. After a couple of seconds he let out a low whistle. He did not like what he was reading either, because he thrust the paper at me.
"Poor Kender," Jemima muttered darkly. Her head turned over to the Gryffindor table where Kender, the head girl usually sat, but she wasn't there. I raised a curious eyebrow and began to read the headlines.
"Another twelve Muggles found dead in Liverpool." That wasn't that shocking. The last couple days the death toll for Muggles has been between five and ten. I kept reading. "Along with these deaths comes a shocking surprise for the Wizarding community. There have been two disappearances that are linked with the deaths. The head of Misuse of Muggle Artifacts, Timothy Kender, and his assistant in training Matthew Fallon have gone missing. They were both last seen outside of Liverpool exactly an hour before the Muggles were found dead." It was my turn to let out a low whistle. It was well known that the Kender's were Muggleborns, so I highly doubt they committed the murders. It was more or less the fact that they had gone missing. When you go missing now a days, that means you are most likely dead due to the Dark Lord.
"She must have left already to be with her mom." I looked specifically at Jemima when I spoke. She nodded. I knew that unlike Prewitt, she would understand.
"Good riddance, we can do with one less filth in our school." Prewitt's lip curled up into a snarl, proving my point right. He was still for blood superiority. Not like I ever believed that would change. "No offense against you Amelia, but it seems as if women are too fickle and feel the need to fill our society with that Muggle filth."
"None taken, it's not as if I feel my mother married a real winner or anything." I kept my tone light, but deep inside his words hurt. He always looked down on Jemima and me at times. Mostly because we were fickle and we didn't follow the 'pureblood' rules like we should. Granted I never grew up that way, but Jemima knew better. I should know better from her teaching me.
"Do you still talk to your Grandma Prince?" Prewitt looked above his goblet, his hazel eyes staring right at me before he took a sip.
"Every so often, last letter she was trying to see if I would stay with her over break." I still had not responded to that letter. I didn't want too. I loved her as a person, but she wanted to marry me off. I wasn't ready for that. Jemima was going through enough trouble and with my luck I would end up with someone far worse than Yaxely.
"You should, the Prince Manor is right near mine." Prewitt smiled, but I knew what he really meant. What he meant was: 'You could use the etiquette training you would receive by just being there'.
Jemima knew his thoughts and snickered. "Especially since Black asked her to Slughorns ball." I glared at her. She loved to stir up trouble.
"Regulas Black, I hope." He looked down the table for the Slytherin, but he was nowhere to be found. His eyes turned back to us after I had kicked Jemima underneath the table. "Sirius Black asked you." He corrected, seeming to notice my silent but angry gesture to Jemima underneath the table.
"I haven't responded if that makes you feel better." I shrugged and ate a couple more eggs.
He made a face at me. "No, it doesn't."
"You should answer him today. It's not polite to keep boys waiting like that." Jemima giggled once more before she dove into her food. She didn't want to risk another cold look from Prewitt. I didn't blame her. He's been darker lately and not in a good way.
"I'll say yes to hi—"
Prewitt cut me off, "No you will not say yes. If you really want a date you can go with me. I can make arrangements for us to go together."
I shot him a sneer. It wasn't as if I didn't want to go with him, it's just I—somewhere in my heart, I actually wanted to go with Black. "I'll say yes to him," I said even louder so Prewitt couldn't interrupt me. "If you go to with Yaxely," I finished.
"Oy, that is not a fair deal. You'd actually have fun with Black." Jemima shook her fork with eggs at me.
"It's not, you shouldn't even be associating with Black. Nor should you be having fun for that matter." Prewitt set his fork down and grabbed his bag. His appetite was lost, I could see it by the way he was moving. He was angry at both of us. "But I will give Amelia one thing, she is right. Jennifer you should go with Yaxely. As much as I do not like him, he isn't bad all the time. He deserves the chance to at least talk things through with you." He stood up and gave us both one last stern look before he left, no doubt heading off to talk with the latest girl he was testing to see if they were 'pureblood' enough for marriage.
Tuesday - December 14th, 1976 - 8:22 pm
I tried my hardest to answer Black today, I really did. I couldn't during lunch because Prewitt sat with us and made me feel like I couldn't even turn him down. On the way to classes, Jemima held me up a couple of times because she forgot things. Luck just wasn't on my side. Finally towards the end of dinner I was able to slip away and find Black, but that didn't go as planned either. I was just about to ask him to follow me into the hallway when Professor Slughorn appeared and asked me to follow him to Dumbledore's office.
A meeting which should have taken only twenty minutes if not less took several hours. Before I knew it was 8:30 and I was just leaving Dumbledore's office.
Throughout the day, my mood was turning sour. I wanted a smoke, so I started to make my way over to my favorite spot. I had just turned the corner when I noticed someone was already there, much to my annoyance. My hand which was on my smokes in my pocket ceased moving. Looks like that cigarette would have to wait and my mood would stay as it is, which is sour.
"Amelia, I was waiting for you." I knew that voice anywhere. My lips turned up into a smile and with several large steps, I was standing next to Black.
"Sorry, I really wanted to talk earlier." I looked down at my feet feeling guilty about the whole situation. I wasn't sure why I dragged it out. I was even less sure why I didn't just say yes the night he asked me. A part of me knew it was because I was so confused. Everything about him and his friends left me feeling befuddled. But why?
In my peripheral I saw him stand up. His hand started to reach out to lift my chin, but he stopped mid-way. The motion made me look up into his wide grey eyes. "Oy!" His hand instead of lifting my chin, cupped my collar and he stared wildly at the newest addition to my chest. "Head Girl," he muttered. His eyes went from wild to amusement and before I knew it, he was smiling at me. "Good for you. I suppose that's what old Sluggy wanted since Kender has left school for good?"
"It's actually supposed to say 'Humongous Git', but for some reason it doesn't." My eyes went back to my feet again as I ignored his last question. It was exactly what Slughorn wanted, but the whole time I was up there I kept thinking of poor Black. Especially in the last hours that Dumbledore had me to himself, the things he talked to me about lead me to believe I should trust Black more. But…Severus, he was picked on and emotional drained from these boys. I shouldn't feel bad for leaving the answer hanging. Right?
"I am sorry. I kept trying to talk to you all day. Life just gets in the way sometimes." I tore my eyes away from my feet and took a seat on the window sill. Black quickly joined me.
"I don't blame you at all. If I were you I would have a hard time deciding." There was that smile of his, blessing his lips. He flipped back his shaggy black hair and leaned up against the wall. His tie was askew, something that used to bother me, but now I found it fit him. He looked casual and that was who he was.
"No you wouldn't." I laughed correcting his statement. "You'd go with yourself if you could."
"You know me to well, my dear Amelia."
I busied myself with rubbing my arm, pretending to be cold. I wasn't in the slightest. This close proximity was making me warm. I could feel the heat rising upon my cheeks and quickly too. "Do you know me well enough to know what my answer is?" I raised my head away from my arms and looked into his grey eyes. They were dancing with amusement, like they did so often whenever I saw him.
"I have a guess, but with you my guesses are never right."
I couldn't help but smile. He still had a hard time figuring me out. I suppose that's because I started off our relationships with lies. I found now that lying to him was getting harder and hard to do. Particularly when I looked him in the eye, something about looking him in his eyes made me melt. It made me softer than I usually was. And I hated it.
My lips twitched, I said the next thing that came to my mind without thinking it through. "Did you want to go with me?" He laughed this time, thinking my statement was trivial.
"I wouldn't have asked if I didn't want too." Black rolled his eyes.
I felt another blush creeping up. "It could have been out of curtsy. If you don't want too, Prewitt said I could go with hi—"
"Why wouldn't I want to go with you? I asked you." I watched as he stood up. He looked down upon me with almost sad eyes. The amusement that he had was barely visible now. I seemed to have struck a nerve.
"Black—Sirius," I corrected. He stiffened at the use of his first name. I shot up from my seat as well, feeling I said the wrong thing. I felt bad.
He reached out his right hand and held mine within his. "Amelia Freya Snape, would you go to Slughorn's Christmas ball with me?" I watched as he bowed his head. In a very sweet gesture, he kissed the top of my hand. His eyes flickered up to mine. I could feel him smile against my skin. My heart thudded loudly against my chest. I could feel it everywhere within me, leaving warmth and love throughout my body. My lips turned upwards and I was smiling. Happiness had filled my body through that small kiss. I wanted to throw myself into his arms. I wanted to tell him thank you because I hadn't felt this feeling before, but I was rooted in my spot. All I could do was nod my head.
He truly meant his kindness and here I was with my black heart. I was already plotting more against him. What was wrong with me? Did someone this kind, this gentle really deserve to be made a fool? I didn't know… Who was I to really decide these things?
I was no better than my brother who called Lily a mudblood.
Could I really go through with the rest of my plans now?
I wasn't sure.
"Amelia?" He broke my thoughts.
Hastily I wiped my eyes that were beginning to water. "Sorry, I was just thinking of my brother." It was the truth to some degree.
"Sni—Severus won't be too happy will he?" His lips pulled away from my hand, but he didn't let go. He held on tightly and pulled me a little bit closer to him. The heat crept back into my body.
"No, I daresay he won't." I swallowed hard. The tears really wanted to come through now. No matter how close Black was, I was falling apart.
"I promise it will be worth his anger. I'll make Saturday one of the best for you." Black threw me into a hug. He didn't let go even though I tried to push away. Eventually I just caved in, knowing he was too strong for me.
"Thank you," I whispered into his chest just as he kissed my forehead. The tears broke free, I couldn't stop them now. What should have been a happy occasion was ridden with tears.
I did not deserve his kindness. He was better off without me. If he only knew the truth; I'd been playing him for a fool.
Wednesday - December 15, 1976 – 5:13 pm (Sirius Blacks POV)
The whispers, if I heard one more I was going to jump off the astronomy tower.
They were terrible today. Everywhere I went girls and boys alike were whispering behind their hands. Now I am not one to brag, but usually there are a lot of whispers when I get a date. I become the talk of Hogwarts, but not many people knew about Amelia. I had managed to keep our date at Slughorn's party quiet enough, obviously so did she. She wasn't going to pour out her soul because her brother would murder me.
We were just about to enter the Great Hall when a group of girls glared at me. Never in my six years has a girl who I haven't even dated, glared at me. James noticed it too because he gave me a look. He wanted to know what in name of all things magical I had done. But that was just it, I had no idea.
I shrugged and lead us into the Great Hall. My brow naturally furrowed as we headed to our usual spot. Everyone seemed to be looking at something.
Remus, being the closet to a group of Ravenclaw girls giggling over whatever the object was, leaned in to see what the commotion was about. I watched him as he turned pale. His eyes widened and whatever they were looking at he did not like. He grabbed onto his mouth, then without even glancing at me or the rest of us Marauders he ran out of the Great Hall.
"Moony?" Peter questioned watching his friend go. He took a moment of standing there rooted, just like the rest of us. He was torn on whether to stay or to follow. Peter in the end decided to stay, as James headed over to a different set of girls. He talked to them, while I picked up different whispers around us.
"Can you believe him?"
"It makes sense. He never stayed with a girl for too long."
"I hear he asked Snape out this morning in attempt to cover it up."
"That girl never has good luck. I'm just surprised she said yes."
"Then again, who would have thought Black and Lupin were in love?" I blanched. Suddenly I didn't want to see what everyone was looking at. James didn't look to happy either judging by the look he cast me. He had just returned with the object they were talking over. It was a photograph of me and Lupin.
"Something you want to tell me, Padfoot?" James was laughing, but at the same time his eyes were dark. He was putting the pieces together. I didn't have time to ponder as much as he had while he was talking to those girls. I was too busy focusing on what was in front of me.
My eyes were busy staring blankly at the photograph of me and Remus wrapped in each other's arms kissing. Except it wasn't us, there was no physical way. I would have remembered kissing him. But it was us! It had my dimples, Remus' scars, and everything down to the last beautiful strand of hair upon my chin. I tossed the picture back to the girls.
Peter elbowed me, "They look so real." He whispered, but I didn't need telling. I could see the single picture burned into the back of my mind. I could hear all the whispers and all I could think of was Amelia.
Did she believe any of this?
My eyes quickly scanned for her. It took me a while because I was getting glares every glance I took. The female population was angry and the boys were disgusted.
There she was, surrounded by tons of girls trying to comfort her or get the story out of her. The thing was she didn't appear to need comforting. Fawely and Amelia kept giggling when the girls were occupied with each other. Bless her for not believing the rumors, or was she giggling because she did? I ruffled my hair in agitation.
James and I went to walk closer to her spot, Peter trailing behind us. We all stopped when Peter let out a gasp. "There's more," It took a moment to realize what he meant. There were more pictures, it made me gag. Several of the photographs in front of Amelia were detailed and I was not wearing very much clothing. How could someone manage this good of a prank? It was beyond brilliant if it was anyone but me and Remus at the end of it.
"Oh for Merlin's love of bloomers." I groaned.
"The pictures all have great angles." James added. I knew him well enough to know he was trying to lighten the mood, but it wasn't helping. My hands were shaking with irritation.
"Get trampled by a Hyppogriff." I said out of the corner of my mouth and stopped in front of Amelia. Almost at once the girls around her shut up and began to scream at me. The words were all different, but it all came down to the same couple of words. 'If you were gay and in love with Remus the whole time you shouldn't have lied. Sirius you have broken so many hearts!'
My teeth were grinding. I wanted to punch something. I didn't care what at this point. "Amelia, would you mind sitting with my friends and I?" The words sounded like if she didn't come with me, I would murder a village. Maybe I would, I hope everyone realized that. I could tell Amelia noticed by how she put a hand upon mine.
Some blond I dated last year screamed. "Where is your lover?"
Another one tried to pull Amelia away. "Don't do this! He needs to come to term with his feelings! He can't keep using girls."
Amelia just shook her head at the girls. She gave them each a warm smile and Fawely a wink. "He won't break my heart. I promise upon all things magical." She told them. One last smile and she pulled me away, but not before pocketing a rather scandlish picture.
I was glad that Amelia made sure to take an empty spot far from the female population at the Gryffindor table. Sometimes I needed to give her more credit than I did. She was very aware of her surroundings.
I smiled at her and sat next to her as Peter and James took the spot across from us.
"Banana? I have been craving one all day." She had already peeled one open and shoved it underneath my mouth. My eye began to twitch. She was having too much fun with this. I knew exactly what she was playing at.
"No thank you," I responded over James' loud snickers.
She shrugged and ate it as suggestively as she could. I felt my body shiver. It had been too long since I had a snog. I had to busy myself by picking at a dinner roll, to be honest I was no longer hungry. I just wanted to go back to the dorm and talk to Remus. He had to have been upset. I was, but I was used to the whispers from girls, he wasn't.
"You think I should bring one to Re—Lupin?" I noticed she nearly said his first name. I wondered why that was. No, stop it. You brought her here for a reason. Gah, these rumors were addling my brain.
"Amelia, love, please tell me you don't believe these rumors are true." Her hand that was about to reach out for her goblet stopped and it fell to her lap. A couple of strange emotions that I could not read flashed across her face. Her eyes throughout it all remained unnervingly stoic. For a moment, I swear I saw sadness in her brow. But before I could even give it a second glance, she was smirking.
"They aren't rumors." The picture she pocked earlier was now shoved right in front of my eyes. It was of me kissing Remus, both of us bare chested. The worst was upon Remus' chest was writing in black ink, my writing I might add, that said 'My one true love.'
"I don't think those are real." James stopped shoveling food underneath his nose and grabbed the picture. He examined it closely, it made me feel uncomfortable. Not like James hasn't seen me in my stark before, but it just felt weird. "Someone did a convincing job of posing as Lily the other night. This looks just as good. I reckon it's the same person who seems to have a personal vendetta on us." His eyes landed right on Amelia as he said it. They seemed cold, but he was smiling as if he was her best friend. I couldn't put my finger on why, but I feel like he knew something.
"Thank you!" I cried shaking off the look he was giving Amelia. I reached up and high fived my best mate.
"But Lupin isn't here, is he? He is too asham—" I couldn't listen anymore. I put my hand over her mouth and shushed her. Amelia fought as hard as she could. Finally she succeeded in pulling my hand away. "I was only teasing, I believe you alright?" She spat then took a drink of my untouched pumpkin juice. The way she did it led me to believe she was trying to wash her mouth free of germs. "I'd believe you better if I could have a snog Friday night. Just this once, I really need a snog." She pleaded with her black eyes round and sincere.
"No," James and I said at the same time.
"You are not allowed to snog for whatever reason." I scolded her. My temper was so thin right now, I was afraid I would start yelling at her. I knew pretty soon I would if she didn't stop pushing my limits.
"He's right," James must have noticed my temper because he set down his fork and abandoned his food. His hazel eyes were focused right upon Amelia. Something was brewing in that mind of his. "I would like to point out that you will be too busy on Friday to find a snog."
"I don't have any plans on Friday and even if I did, I doubt it's your business whatsoever." Amelia's voice was full of bite. I loved how deadly calm she always seemed. It never failed to send a shiver down the core of my spine.
"You do actually Amelia, my best mate." James gave her a look I have only seen him give Lily. I knew exactly what that meant. He was going to talk to her about the very girl that look is reserved for. I groaned and gave Peter the warning look. He nodded and scooted down the seat. "See you promised me that on Friday you would help me at least figure out how I can get a dance with Lily on Saturday."
Her nose scrunched up. "I didn't actually."
"You're right, you didn't." James admitted bluntly. Judging by his smile, I knew he wasn't done. He was going to get his way whether she wanted him to or not. "But you did promise me a while ago to help me with her. Now—" He paused, James was treading on thin ice. He had to be extra careful and he knew it. That didn't mean much, just because he knew didn't mean his tact would be any better. He still had a lot to learn about swaying woman how you want them. "I know you are a Slytherin, but you are a human being first." Classic James, I know for a fact that will not win her over. "Meaning you have a heart. I know you have it in you to help me."
Her eyes were flashing dangerously. A couple of tense seconds ticked by as her black eyes narrowed. She looked ready to grab the fork off the table and stab James in the face. "For Merlin's sake — fine," To all our surprises she agreed. "James," The surprises kept coming, she honestly used his first name. "You will listen to every word I say on Friday." He nodded fervently. "If I tell you to run around in your skivs with a toad in your hand confessing your love for Professor McGonagall, you will." Peter choked on his food. James threw him an annoyed look, but kept nodding. He really wanted her help. "Lastly, we start Thursday. You need more help than a nights worth." Amelia gave him a stern look before she stood up. He saluted her, which she waved off.
"Sirius," She said my name, for the first time. It left a tingle in the pit of my stomach. I couldn't explain it, but I liked it.
I was so distracted, that she managed to lean in and kiss my cheek. "I know you aren't a pouf."
