Chapter 11: Enjoy Life


Midnight blue consumed his world; for once, Ja'kal was too tired to explore. He grunted with nearly every movement, and if he wasn't achy or stinging, then he was still itchy. He rolled his trousers to his knees and worked his way into a small creek; a cold soak was sure to feel better than this burning inside of him, to quell this hunger in his soul. He wished it were for fish rather than a human.

More specifically: a vampire.

"How did you do this before?" Serana grunted in frustration when her hands came up empty. She was calf-deep in the stream and her eyes darted about, groaning whenever she hunched forward and tried to catch a fish. It looked like she was slapping the water instead. When Ja'kal splashed at the edge, her head whipped up and worry reflected in her eyes instead of water. "You need to rest, your wounds..."

"Ja'kal is going to starve at this rate," he teased with a quirky smile, hoping that injecting a little bit of levity would be enough to ruffle her slumped spirits awake. Something weighed down on her mind, and whatever it was, it tormented her greatly. If she wasn't going to lay her burden on him, he was going to lift the burden off her.

"I'll get one eventually," she huffed; she pushed her hair behind her ears as she looked back down, fingers wiggling in anticipation. Did she not know that fish watched her as much as she watched them? It was a comical sight, but instinct warned him to keep his laughter to himself. He approached her regardless of her narrowing eyes and wrinkling nose; so scary...

"You must stop thinking about the fish, and start thinking about the water." He moved behind her, his tail gliding just above the grotesque cut lacerating the side of her calf. It was his fault both of them had any wounds at all, and yet for some reason guilt tortured her when the blame was rightfully his.

It was something he hoped he could help her stray away from in time, as he had himself.

"The water?" She quirked an eyebrow as she twisted to look over her shoulder at him. "What do you mean?"

"Tune to the flow of the water. Close your eyes." It was a huge leap forward that she did not smell of fear with how close he was, and when her eyes slipped shut, he slowly wrapped his arms around her waist. She stiffened and the stench stained the air, but she didn't pull away. "Good. Now ignore Ja'kal. Ignore the birds, ignore everything around you. Listen to the water. Wiggle your toes, feel the rocks and muck."

"How is this going to help me catch fish?"

"Ja'kal will tell you what mother told him: patience."

"I can't see you being patient at all," she teased dryly. Her body melted to his bit by bit, and she straightened, brushing her hair over her ears again. He loved watching the drops of water roll down her pale skin, sleeves rolled up and ready to go; she wasn't afraid to work.

Neither of them were meant for a kingdom nor a castle.

"Listen to the water," he reminded, squeezing her waist. "Do not think about why Serana cannot catch the fish, or the Moth Priest." She tensed at that, and he wondered if the priest was what truly weighed her down so. He tilted his head to get a better look at her face, though could only see the side. "Do not think about how hungry Ja'kal is, and ignore his stomach." A subtle smirk tugged the corner of her mouth, and he tried to contain his pride; his day was made the moment he made her smile. "Do not think about the birds, or the ma'jota."

"...Insects?"

"Ah! Yes, that is the word." He pinched her playfully. "Now what are you supposed to be listening to?"

"You're talking right in my ear, Ja'kal."

"You should not be listening to me."

"Q'zi no vano thzina ualizz," she countered, and it drew a hearty laugh from him. It was his turn to stiffen when she reached up and over her shoulder, wrapping her arm behind his neck. Her head turned ever so slightly and there was a challenge in her eyes; who that challenge was for, he was confident he'd find out in time.

"Listen to the water," he urged, slipping a hand over her eyes. "Let every thought swim away with it. Listen to it babble, and burble, and patter, and murmur. Breathe with it, from your toes to your nose." He curled his tail around her thigh and slid down the length of her leg, smiling when her muscles still jolted, but it was very little; she was drifting. He took his hand away from her eyes and studied how at peace she was, and tried to pry her hand off of his neck, though she resisted. "Let go," he encouraged, "just relax your whole body. Ja'kal will be here. Always."

Serana nodded. Her chest rose and fell slowly, deeply. Serene Serana; he liked how those words played together. Her hands fell to her sides and the khajiit took a moment to tune to the sounds of the water himself. He held on to her hips as his eyes slipped shut, listening to the trickling and the fizzling, the plops and the pitter-patters. Leaves rustled. The wind hissed above, but the trees blocked out the breeze.

"Ma'jota," she peacefully murmured as the torchbugs and crickets grew louder; her tranquil tone almost didn't fit her. Ja'kal always smelled a kind of restless energy akin to his own, burning with curiosity to venture and explore everything there was to be explored. If he could take what she already knew and help her see it in a different way, his way, then he considered his own brand of lesson a success; to teach her about him, just as she taught him about her.

Fish dared to sate their own curiosity and neared their legs. He felt the change in the current, the brush of one slipping past his ankle. He remained still and calm; he would strike when he was ready.

Suddenly, Serana bent and swiped at the water, snatching one in both her hands. She held it up and away from her face, laughing in pride and groaning in disgust. "Eugh, it's so slimy!" She twisted to show off her catch, her elbows locked out and arms as straight as could be. She looked so happy and excited; he made sure to commit the sight to memory, of what precious few he had. She was the light in his world of darkness. "Look, I got one!"

Ja'kal smiled softly. The fish wasn't the victory. It wasn't until Serana's excitement ran it's course and she stared back at him, her proud smile melting back into serenity.

"Now I know how you feel."

And that was the victory.

x - x - x

Serana didn't know how to put the feeling into words; it was exhilarating, and amazing, and thrilling to have even reached the level of clarity that she had. Granted, she still had no idea what she was supposed to do now, with the Moth Priest... But rarely does she ever get the chance to feel so free. It was just like the tower, and the hug, and she couldn't wait to see what she would achieve next. She tore down any obstacle that stood in her way.

That calm and natural confidence was something she craved to have in place of the one she pretended to have at times, relying on fear or intimidation if charm and persuasion didn't make the cut. She didn't have to do any of that with Ja'kal. It was strangely liberating to just throw caution to the wind, but it wasn't exactly a habit she was about to make. Priorities, after all.

But that could wait until tomorrow.

Serana watched as the lazy khajiit napped away, visibly more at ease after a decent meal and wounds nearly closed. She drew her knee to her chest and looked over to inspect the gash on her leg, taking it's sweet time regenerating. She had to move. She couldn't afford to dwell in this forest forever; but she didn't have a plan. The Moth Priest was safe in the Dawnguard's protection for now... But she had her doubts that her father would be so courteous enough as to leave it all be. Not when he was so close.

Ja'kal's brother was still in danger; it would only be a matter of time before Harkon ordered the court to siege the fortress. With what little work she needed to do with the soldiers she fought with, Dra'kul didn't have a chance. The Moth Priest would be captured, very highly likely turned into a mindless thrall, and the prophecy would continue.

This mission was getting more and more complicated by the day. Serana shut her book with a sigh and rested her head against the tree trunk. What calm clarity she had has slipped away, and her mind was cluttered once again. She found herself staring at Ja'kal, her brow knitting with worry.

What was she supposed to do? She felt helpless, and hopeless. She didn't want to see him so sad or hear his pain ever again, not like that, and she was sure that was the path they were on now. She couldn't protect him. She couldn't protect his brother; and she most certainly couldn't protect someone that tried to kill them.

"Serana?" Ja'kal whispered, revealing he wasn't asleep after all. He rolled on his side, his blonde fur covered in specks of dirt, and he smiled when he turned his head up to look at her. He patted the spot beside him and stretched out his arm. "Ja'kal cannot sleep. Can you help?"

"How?" Oh, she knew how. She knew very well how. He patted the spot again, staring at her as if she'd grown a second head. Yeah. She wasn't that eager to tear down this obstacle. Her throat tightened and there was the tiniest prick in the base of her throat, nagging with every swallow as if there were an ant trapped inside. She smiled nervously when he rolled on his back and patted his chest instead.

"Ja'kal would like to do this with you someday, but under stars; you can tell this one what Jode and Jone look like. The moons."

Serana nibbled her lip in thought. She glanced at their knapsacks; they hadn't unpacked their camping supplies yet. "Let's go right now, then." She pushed herself up into standing and ignored the dull ache in her calf, trying her best to hide her limp as she made her way to Ja'kal and offered her hand. She smiled and rolled her eyes at how obviously eager and excited he was from that simple suggestion alone; he was like a switch, a candlelight bursting to life.

"Ja'kal will carry our things!" He announced proudly, and Serana didn't even have a chance to protest when he looked at her with a knowing smile. "Let this one shoulder your burden this time." He jerked his chin to her calf, and his whiskers flared; she didn't decipher what movements whiskers meant. Why the hell was there so much to read in a khajiit's body language?

But then she spotted a glimmer in his milky eyes; and she was sure it wasn't just her own playing tricks on her. This wasn't the first time she saw something in his gaze. She rushed over before he picked up a knapsack, grabbing his arm. "Wait, Ja'kal. Look at me for a minute."

"Hm? Of course." He had no problem doing that. None whatsoever.

Could he have just a little hesitance, please?

"Is Ja'kal searching for eyelashes again? Food stuck in teeth?"

"W-what? No." Was that what she had before when he'd stare at her so intensely? Maybe that explained the random moments he'd swipe his hand across her cheek.

Yes. That must have been it. It wasn't a show of affection at all, of course not.

"Do I have something on my face?" She asked out of curiosity, and Ja'kal smiled mischievously. He turned his arm so that his hand caught her wrist, and he moved forward, laughing and persisting even when she leaned backwards. His free hand wrapped around the small of her back and he rested his forehead against hers.

"Now you do," the words sung and danced. His whiskers tickled her nose, and his fur was warm and soft against her skin. Her breath hitched in her chest and her heart thundered up to take it's rightful throne in her throat once again. Her every thought should be screaming for him to get away, and yet they were offended he hadn't come closer already. She yelped when he pulled her back up into standing straight and smiled sheepishly, rubbing the bicep that had a bolt embedded in it no more than four hours ago. "Urada, Serana. It hurts. Ja'kal was afraid of dropping you."

"...Yeah..."

It made sense. It was an all-rounded word, a jack of all trades. It was the right thing to say at the right time; because what the hell else was she supposed to say when her mind and heart cried outrage at his diabolical and unforgivable action? So she stared. That made sense too.

Ja'kal's upper lip curled, and a smile she had never seen before had graced his face. She was riveted to it. Her mind emptied, just like the creek, and she just... Stared. Every thought circulated around those lips just like the current. She couldn't tell if she was terrified or thrilled, or both, and then for some horrible, horrible, reason, her memories took her back to all the books she had read up to this point; to the book she continued to indulge no longer than ten minutes ago.

"You do have something on your face, Serana," he husked, his hand cupping her jawbone. His thumb stroked across her cheek and he lowered to her lips.

She shoved him away the spitting second she saw the glint in his eyes again.

"No more disease!" Was all she said as she took their knapsacks and ran away. Again. As usual. The whole time, she couldn't get a passage from a certain book out of her head; the damn thjizzrini. She should've burned it with Barenziah.

3. "Fusozay Var Var": "Enjoy Life"

Life is short. If you have not made love recently, please, put down this book, and take care of that with all haste. Find a wanton lass or a frisky lad, or several, in whatever combination your wise loins direct, and do not under any circumstances play hard to get. Our struggle against the colossal forces of oppression can wait.

No.

No.

Priorities. The Moth Priest could not wait; and Serana was going to play very hard to get.

After all, a vampire's life was long.


Author's Note

Mwuahahahahaha. Ahahahah HAH! Okay please don't leave me, come back to the next chapter. There will be candy ;p

Translation

Ma'jota - bugs/insects

Q'zi no vano thzina ualizz - when I contradict myself, I am telling the truth

Urada - sorry

Thjizzrini - foolish concepts