Alright, this chapter is mostly Emily, but there's a little bit of Sparia at the end.


Emily's POV

I hadn't slept much, I just lay there silently with a war raging in my head. I had heard everything that Toby had said. I was completely torn, on the one hand, I knew that receiving treatment was the right thing to do, not only for me, but for everyone that cared about me too, but then there was Ali, who, even as a hallucination, felt so real to me. Was I really ready to give her up again? Ali, who was everything I ever wanted right here in my arms.

I felt Ali stir in my arms. I turned my head to kiss her on her forehead.

How could I give this up?

I'm finally happy, really happy, but is it worth it if everyone I care about is miserable watching me be happy. They should really just be happy that I'm happy. I guess I understand, if I saw someone I love really happy talking to someone who wasn't there, I suppose I'd be worried too.

I tried to give myself some perspective. If it had been me that disappeared, turning up dead later, and Ali had been the one having hallucinations of me, and everyone was worried about her, I'd want her to have the treatment. I'd want her to be healthy, not just happy.

I had made my decision.

I closed my eyes, trying to enjoy what was left of my time with Ali.

I felt Ali stir in my arms again, what was probably ten minutes later. I felt my cheeks pull up into a smile. I felt her arms wrap around me, and moments later I felt her lips on mine. She started to pull away, when I caught her soft lips in mine, wrapping my arms around her, in an effort to prevent her from moving.

I slid my tongue along her bottom lip, begging for entrance. Ali being Ali, she denied me at first, just for the pure satisfaction of having control, and probably at my frustration because I wanted her so desperately. After a minute or two, she finally parted her lips, allowing my tongue to explore her mouth, and hers, mine.

I eventually broke the kiss, pulling back enough to stare into her beautiful blue eyes. I held her face carefully in my hands.

"God, I love you so much, Ali," I said.

"I love you, too, Em," Ali said, "More than you'll ever know."

I felt a tear roll down my cheek. I hoped Ali didn't see it as I fought myself, trying to make sure no others escaped.

"Em," Ali said in her softest voice reserved only for me, "Em, baby, what's wrong?"

My heart fluttered hearing her call me baby, it was as if I was truly hers.

But I'm not. I reminded myself. She's all mine because she's in my head. Ali never loved me back. Ali's dead.

But it was so hard to convince myself of that seeing her right in front of me, looking at me as if I'm the only thing in the world that matters.

"I just, I love you so much, Ali," I said.

And with that the tears let loose.

"And I don't know how to tell you this," I cried into her shoulder.

"Shhh, Em, it's okay, everything's going to be alright," Ali whispered to me.

But it wasn't. I knew that. I would either lose her, or lose everybody else. And as much as even the idea of it pained me, I had to let her go.

"Ali," I whispered, scared to death of her reaction, "Ali, I'm going through with the treatment."

I felt her freeze. Slowly she sat up, breaking all contact with me except for the place on my legs where she was sitting.

"You don't want me?" Ali asked sounding confused and heartbroken.

I hated myself for doing this to her, though she was apparently only an overactive figment of my imagination. It would have been different if they had questioned my love for Ali, I would have never let Ali go, but this was different. They knew I loved Ali, though I'll admit, I don't think my parents knew how I loved Ali, but they knew I loved her nonetheless. They even accepted that I loved Ali. It was just that this Ali wasn't real. And I couldn't choose this Ali over everybody else knowing that there's a chance that she might disappear on her own anyway.

"Ali," I said softly.

I wiped the tears that had started pouring down her face. It was times like this when I knew that they were right. The real Ali would have never let anyone see her cry.

I took her hands in one of mine, using my other hand, first to move a strand of her hair from her face, then to caress her cheek.

"I want you so much it hurts," I told her looking into her eyes, "This was the hardest decision I've ever had to make. But, baby, if they're right, if you're only in my head, if you're only real to me, then you could be in my arms in one moment, and gone the next, and I'll have alienated everyone else that I care about. I love you so much, and I never want to lose you, so I hope with all my heart that they're wrong."

And it was true, regardless of everything that was logical, I hoped with all my heart that Ali was real, and alive, and here, and in love with me. I hope that I could spend the rest of my life having her to hold in my arms.

"Because if they're wrong, I know you'll still be here with me," I continued, "And I will be the happiest girl in the world because I'll have you."

I leaned in to kiss her, gently at first, but after I felt her lips respond to mine, we slowly became more passionate, like this was the last kiss we'd ever have.

It was Ali who broke the kiss this time.

"Em," she said timidly, looking anywhere but at me, "I'm scared. What if they're right? What if I'm not real? What's going to happen to me?"

"Ali, look at me," I said.

Slowly, Alison turned her head toward me. I could see her emotion in her eyes. All the fears I couldn't quell, the insecurity, and worst of all, the doubt, like she thought she wasn't enough for me. It broke my heart. I wanted so much to tell her that, for her, I wouldn't go through with it, that I'd give it all up for her. But I couldn't.

"You are real to me. These last few days with you have been the best of my life, and I wouldn't trade them for anything. Don't you want to prove to them that the only crazy I am is crazy for you?"

She smiled unwillingly. She crawled up next to me, wrapping her arms around me, holding onto me for dear life. I lay back on the bed, bringing her down with me. My arm holding her tightly, letting her know that I won't let go.

A few minutes later, my mom walked in.

"Em?" my mom said uncertainly.

I looked over at her. I could see from her eyes that she'd been crying.

"Em, I…"

"I'll do it," I said cutting her off.

Aria's POV

I woke up with the feeling that today was going to be a great day. I mean, as great as any school day can be, but even school couldn't dampen my mood today.

I heard my phone buzz.

Good morning sunshine. Just wanted to be the first person you heard from this morning, I hope I didn't wake you though. Love you 3 –Spencer

I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face.

Good morning to you too. I must have the sweetest girlfriend ever. Well you got what you wanted I just woke up a minute before I got your text :) Love you too 3 –Aria

It wasn't long before Spencer texted me back.

Yeah, well don't go around advertising shorty. I got a rep to protect ;) –Spencer

Shorty? Really? We haven't even been together a day and you're already poking fun at my size? It's a good thing I like you so much. –Aria

Yeah, but you're my shorty :) Yes it is. I'm the luckiest girl in the world –Spencer

Awww I see what you did there. I'm gonna go take a shower, see you at school –Aria

Okay see you soon –Spencer

I got in the shower, thinking about everything.

Spencer's my girlfriend. I can't believe it. How in the world did I get so lucky?


I hope you like it! Coming soon, Hanna can see Sparia's relationship blossoming, but will Spencer and Aria tell Hanna and/or Emily, or will they keep it to themselves? How does Emily deal with her first psychotherapy appointment on the horizon? With Ezra still trying to win Aria back, how will it affect Spencer and Aria's relationship? And how will they deal with his advances?

Let me know what you think should happen! Suggestions? Please review!