Hi everyone, here is another chapter. Many of you will probably find this chapter very similar to a certain episode of certain series... and you're right. My whole story got inspired by this episode. But there is still no Storybrooke :) I hope, you'll enjoy.
Chapter 11:
Mother's diary
Three months since Lieta's departure have passed and the life in Arendelle was slowly turning back to normal. Thanks to the queen's restless efforts and her negotiations with other countries, people of Arendelle overcame the difficulties of the months past the Great Thaw in health and the kingdom was prospering more than ever before. The queen's powers, once feared and hated, became a symbol of the kingdom's pride and strength. People loved their queen and you would have hardly found a single person, who wouldn't speak about her in respect and admiration these days. The more people were pleased, when the royal family officially announced the engagement of princess Anna of Arendelle and sir Kristoff Bjorgman just a month ago.
The preparations for upcoming wedding were already in full career and everyone couldn't wait for the ceremony, taking place just in two weeks. It seemed that things couldn't go any better. Until a certain night...
It was long after midnight and Elsa was sleeping in her bed peacefully, after a long day of royal duties and wedding preparations. Since she had finally agreed to her marriage, Anna seemed to be going crazier day by day, giving her, and even most of the people in the castle, no time to rest. Invitations, decorations, ceremony, wedding reception... Anna had been relentlessly trying to be in charge of all of this, dragging her sister mercilessly with her. And Anna's idea of inviting trolls at the ceremony really didn't improve the situation. Of course, they were Kristoff's only family and Anna cared about them deeply. And so did Elsa. But she couldn't imagine the things going smoothly with a whole crowd of trolls at the wedding. At least she managed to talk her out of the idea of Sven taking part of the wedding procession. It would really be the last...
„Psst, Elsa..."
A sudden whisper in her ear woke her from her peaceful slumber. She didn't respond and closed her eyes more tightly, pretending to be still asleep and hoping for it to be just a bad dream.
„Elsa, wake up!" the voice whispered again, more urgently, accompanied by a hand, shaking gently her shoulder, which excluded the possibility of a dream.
„Anna, you're crazy," she murmured with her eyes still tightly shut. „It's late night. Go back to sleep."
„Elsa, I have something I need to show you. Wake up!" Anna bounced on her shoulder eagerly.
„Hmph!" Elsa growled in frustration, trying to ignore Anna's attempts. „Anna, whatever it is, you will show me tomorrow morning."
„Oh, come on, you sleepyhead," Anna shook her shoulder again, vigorously, earning another angry growl from her. „If I don't need to sleep, so neither do you. I swear you're gonna like it." When she got no answer, she frowned. For a moment, she was looking at her sister's back, trying to come up with a strategy. Suddenly, an idea crossed her mind. She leaned closer to Elsa's ear again. „Elsa? Knock, knock."
Elsa opened one eye in surprise. „What?"
„Knock, knock," Anna tried again, cheerfully.
„You're kidding me...!" Elsa groaned again and pulled her blanket over her head, decided not to give up so easily.
„Oh, come on, Elsa. Just this one. Please." Anna pushed her shoulder again.
Elsa sighed in resignation. „Fine."
A victorious smile appeared on Anna's face. She sat on her bed and leaned over her. „Knock, knock."
„Who is it?"
„It's you."
Elsa opened her eyes in confusion. Where could THAT possibly lead? She looked slowly at her sister's eager face. „You... who?" she tried carefully.
„Yoo-hoo! Big summer blowout!" she called in a high voice, raised her hands to her face and waved them.
There was a moment of silence, but then, Elsa finally caught the point and burst into laughter and Anna joined her. „Okay, you got me there," chuckled Elsa and sat up in her bed. „Poor Oaken. He has become really famous lately, hasn't he?"
„You bet," smiled Anna and looked at her smiling sister. „So... Since you're officially awake, you're coming with me. I still have a surprise for you."
„Is there any chance for me to get some sleep tonight?" tried Elsa.
„Not even the slightest." Anna giggled in return.
„I hate you," Elsa gave her a loving smile.
„I hate you too, so come on!" Anna grabbed her hand and pulled her out of the bed, almost dislocating her shoulder. Anna was dragging her through the castle halls, both girls in their nightgowns. Elsa noticed that they were heading into the upper levels of the castle. She started to wonder, what could be possibly so interesting up there. Elsa herself had never been there. She didn't even know that the upper levels were in use.
„So, where are we going-" she hissed as Anna suddenly turned a corner, twisting Elsa's arm in very uncomfortable position.
„There's an old attic in the southern quarters," Anna called her answer over her shoulder without slowing down. „I found it two days ago and tried to peek in, but the door was locked. So, I was naturally curious."
„Naturally," Elsa chuckled, trying to catch up with her sister.
„Of course, I was," Anna continued, ignoring her sister's biting tone. „I mean, who would lock the door leading to an old, dusty attic, if there wasn't anything interesting stored inside?"
„And where did you get the key?" Elsa asked suspiciously.
„I didn't," Anna stopped and gave her a guilty look. „Let's say the door will need a new lock," she said carefully. „Maybe even a new handle. Okay, it may be easier to get a whole new door. Do you remember as I was joking about smashing your door open with an axe?"
Elsa set a disbelieving gaze at Anna's innocent smile. „Anna, you didn't..."
„And so what?" shrugged Anna. „No one was using the attic for ages anyway. And you won't believe your eyes when you see what I found up there."
Few moments later they reached the door leading into a dusty, dark room. The door showed indisputable signs of Anna's attempts to open it. The lock was completely destroyed and its surrounding area was filled with splinters. Next to the door on the ground, she noticed a war axe, probably belonging to one of armour sets in the entrance hall and an oil lamp with a flint. „You have already made preliminary investigations, I see?" she chuckled, pointing at the equipment.
„Just a brief check. I wanted to do it with you," Anna smiled. „But we won't need these. There's a small chandelier in the room. It provides enough light for a thorough investigation."
They entered the small room together. It was full of stuff, but Elsa didn't recognize them in the dark. Meanwhile Anna was busy lighting the candle chandelier in the middle of the room, she crossed it to a small, shuttered window and after a few failed attempts she managed to open it. She looked through the window. They were almost at the top of the castle with a view directed towards the sea beyond the castle. Just a meter under the level of the window, there was a ridge of another dormer and about five or so meters, there was a terrace, leading into the ballroom. She caught a cheerful whoop behind her and turned to see, that Anna finally managed to light the candle and with it, she was lighting the rest of the chandelier. For the first time, she examined the room thoroughly.
The room was filled with old and dusty furniture and boxes, filled with personal stuff and... toys? Elsa looked around in wonder. Right next to her was a small rocking horse in a corner, on the other side she spotted a small, gilded music-box, sticking out of a crate along with a doll in pretty dress. It was as if someone moved an entire children's room into the attic. All the things seemed to be old, covered by a thick layer of dust, but they weren't just some kind of junk. Whoever they belonged to, it must have been nobility. But why would someone move these things up here? Her eyes fixed on a book, lying on a table right in her reach. She took the book and blew a layer of dust from its cover. Anna peeked from behind over her shoulder. „Hmm... Knights and dragons? Sounds interesting," she chuckled. „I would never expect mother to read such things."
„Do you really think these are mother's belongings?" asked Elsa doubtfully, still watching the book in her hands.
„Does anyone else cross your mind?" Anna replied with a shrug. „Maybe her sister's, but still... Don't you think it's a great discovery?" she giggled in delight.
„It is," Elsa smiled back and laid the book aside. „There are so many things. Why do you think, they moved them here?" Elsa started to search through the stuff in curiosity.
„Maybe they moved them when mother got married?" Anna suggested and headed to the other side of the room to start with her inspection elsewhere. „I suppose she had to change many things when father moved in." Anna got to a massive wooden wardrobe. She opened it and gasped. „Awwwww, Elsa, look at these! Aren't they beautiful?" she pulled one of the dresses out of the wardrobe to show it to her sister. „She can't have been older than four or five when wearing... Elsa?" her tone changed from delighted into concerned, when she noticed Elsa's shocked face.
Elsa was standing in front of a cabinet she had just been searching through. In one of the drawers she found a small book in a leather binding. She opened it to find out the content and froze in shock, the book almost slipping from her shaking hands. „Elsa?" She caught Anna's voice and slowly turned her head at her. „You were right," she whispered. „These are mother's things. It's... her diary." she showed her a book.
Anna squealed in delight. „Lemme see!" she spilled out and ran to her. She grabbed her sister's arm and pressed her face right next to Elsa's, so she could see into the diary.
„Anna, be patient," Elsa chuckled to her sister's eagerness. She reached for one of the candles from the chandelier and they found a place to sit on the ground in relative comfort. Then she turned the first page and they both started to read, leaned against each other.
Dear diary,
Today is the greatest day in my life. I would never imagine that I will find my true love so quickly after my sister's wedding. He's handsome, kind and charming. Primrose is still making fun of me. She says that I fell in love with the first man I have ever met, but I know that he IS the right one. I love him. Yesterday we went for a small ride along the Arendelle coast. At the evening we stopped by a small waterfall. Rays of setting sun were dispersing in the falling water, creating a beautiful rainbow above our heads, we were drinking wine... And you will not believe it... He came to his horse and from a saddlebag he pulled out a lute! He really composed a song for me! It was so romantic.
I can't wait to meet him again today. I didn't tell him yet, but I'd like to give him my first kiss today. I'm a bit afraid of his moustache, though. What if it tickles and I start to laugh? It must be weird to have something like that right under your nose. I hope I'll convince him to shave it eventually.
Too bad, my sister is leaving in a few days to Corona. But she's going to be the queen. I just wish I could have spent more time with her. Just me, her, Thomas... and my Agdar.
Anna stiffened a laugh. „I guess mother didn't convince him to shave at the end."
„Or it didn't tickle as much as she thought," Elsa replied with a silent giggle. She browsed further through the diary. Suddenly, she ran across a gap in it. „Look, there are a couple of pages missing," she pointed out. „It seems that someone tore them out of it. But why?" She looked at the last note, prior to the missing pages.
Dear diary,
as expected, being a queen is no easy task, but I'm getting used to it. It's just a year since my father died, leaving the reign on my and Agdar's shoulders. I still miss him. He was a great king and it won't be easy to live up to his legacy. But we are trying. I don't know what I would do without my dear Agdar. He is a true king and people love him as they did my father.
And I think... I know that our life is about to change soon. I didn't tell him yet for I wasn't sure about it myself. But I am now. We're
The note ended in the middle of the sentence, leaving the rest in mystery. Anna sighed in disappointment. „That's typical. Now we don't know how their life changed." She looked curiously at her sister. „Aren't you involved in this? I mean... Couldn't she be talking about..."
Elsa shook her head in denial. „I don't think so. I was born long after our grandfather's death. There's at least a ten years' gap in the missing pages. Look." She showed her the next note on the other side, following the missing pages.
was praised by another beautiful daughter. Her name is Anna. She is already three days old, but I didn't gather enough strength to tell you about her, until now. I wish you could see her. I can tell you that I have never seen a child as curious as her before. Even now, lying right next to me, she's trying to seize my quill every time when I'm not paying enough attention. And, oh dear, she's noisy. She didn't let me sleep in these three days for longer than a few hours. But despite the fact that I'm dead tired, I could never imagine happier moments than these. We have another daughter. And Elsa has a sister, she desired so much.
Elsa let out a faint smile. She remembered these days clearly. Having a sister was her wish come true. She had never forgotten her first sight on a little bundle in her mother's arms, with bright, green eyes and a radiant smile. The words in mother's diary brought back all these memories and she got lost for a moment in her nostalgic thoughts. But when she turned back to the page and continued reading, her smile faded away and her heart started to beat faster.
I am a little worried though. Elsa has discovered her powers recently. I know that she would never hurt her sister intentionally, but is it safe to let her near Anna? Her magic is unpredictable. I have seen it before on my own. But I would never keep them apart. They are sisters. I'm sure we will find the way out somehow but I wish you could give me an advice.
„She was afraid?" Elsa whispered, disturbed. „But why? Nothing bad happened back then. She didn't have a reason to..." her voice faded.
„Oh, come on, Elsa," said Anna, putting her arm around her sister's shoulders. „Don't take it personally. I was just born back then and mom was very overprotective about us. As are you now about me," she chuckled. „Kristoff confessed to me, how you threatened him after we got engaged."
„What a little telltale," Elsa smiled back and exhaled to calm down. „But I guess you're right. She would do anything to keep us safe." But the uneasy feeling didn't leave her completely. Her eyes turned back to the small book in her hands. Led by a sudden impulse, Elsa leafed through the pages further. She knew what she was looking for. She had to know. She had to know, what their mother had thought of the accident in the ballroom. Finally, Elsa found the concerned note.
What happened to Anna today was terrible. I don't even want to describe it. She got struck by Elsa's magic. Thanks God the trolls were able to help her, but I don't know what we are supposed to do. We decided to keep them apart for now. I hope it's for the best, but is it? Will Elsa be able to learn, how to control her magic? Will Anna understand? Will they ever be able to live a normal life again? I'm afraid. I don't want it to happen again. I've already lost my daughter to this thrice damned curse. I don't want to lose another one.
Elsa covered her mouth in shock and her eyes filled with tears. So it was true. Mother had blamed her for hurting Anna. „She hated me," Elsa said faintly. „She didn't even consider me her daughter anymore."
„No, I don't believe it," Anna tightened her embrace, feeling her sister's despair. „There must be an explanation to this. I know she loved you. Maybe she didn't mean it. She might have been just upset. She would never abandon you."
„Then why would she say such a thing?" Elsa exclaimed desperately. „I've already lost my daughter," she recited the words. „What else could it possibly mean?"
Anna tried to soothe her, but she couldn't come up with any explanation, which could improve the situation. Instead, she laid her head on Elsa's shoulder and embraced her closer. „Even if it was true, I don't care. I know who you are and I love you as you are. She was wrong."
Elsa dug her face into Anna's neck, trying to calm down. „Thank you, Anna. Maybe you're right. Maybe she just wrote it in a moment of stress."
Anna didn't answer and didn't break the embrace, until she couldn't feel Elsa's breath returning slowly to normal. Then she looked up. „Maybe it wasn't the best idea to bring you here," she smiled apologetically. „Come on, sis. Let's go back to sleep. You'll be feeling better at the morning."
„No," Elsa shook her head. „I just... I need to know, what she was thinking about me." Elsa listed through the diary to the last mother's record and held her breath, starting to read.
Elsa's powers are growing stronger and stronger and she barely keeps them under control. Not even the trolls can help us with them anymore. We have to figure something out quickly. There have been rumours recently. Rumours about a sorceress with the same powers as Elsa's. Unfortunately, the merchants, who brought the news to Arendelle, have already left and we got just little pieces of information. She's said to appear in Misthaven just recently and people started to call her the Snow Queen.
We have to find her. She might be able to help our Elsa. And maybe, just maybe... I don't even dare to hope. Could it really be her? After all those years of desperate searching? Was he lying to us for the whole time? I thought I've already lost all my hope, but a spark, deep in my heart, started to glitter once more.
Primrose has recently sent me a message of her long-lost daughter's return. She invited us to Corona for the welcoming celebration and we've decided to use it as an excuse to leave Arendelle and travel to Misthaven to search for the sorceress. I hope my sister will understand. With luck, we will return back in two weeks and then both our families will celebrate the reunion together.
Elsa was reading the last paragraph over and over, her mind refusing to understand, to believe the words. She could barely feel Anna's presence. Finally, she raised her gaze from the diary in her hands, breathing heavily. „No," she whispered in dread. „Our parents left Arendelle because of me. They died because of me!" Temperature in the room dropped considerably.
„No, Elsa. That's not true!" Anna gripped her shoulders tightly. „You did nothing wrong, you didn't know..."
„STAY AWAY FROM ME!" Elsa shrieked and broke free from Anna's grip. She sprang up and wavered, hitting a table next to her. Both sisters froze in silence. Anna was shocked by Elsa's reaction, but on the other hand, Elsa didn't seem any better. „I'm... I'm sorry, I just..." Elsa sobbed, but her words got stuck in her throat. Without any other word, she dashed out of the room, leaving Anna behind.
„Elsa!" Anna called after her, raising her hand to stop her, but she changed her mind. It would be better to leave Elsa alone for now. Even if she went to see her, there was nothing she could say right now. Anna needed to think about it herself. She lifted the diary, lying in front of her and her eyes filled with tears. Could their mother really misjudge her own daughter so much? She raised her hand, ready to toss the diary out of the window in anger, but in the last moment, she changed her mind and squeezed it in her hands, crying. This wasn't the discovery she was hoping for.
The next day morning Anna got up early. She wanted to sort out her thoughts and talk to Elsa as soon as possible. She was getting dressed and making her hair really slowly, using that time to come up with a speech. When finished, Anna left her room and headed straight to Elsa's bedroom, hoping that she will find her sister in there. In front of Elsa's room Anna stopped and breathed in slowly to calm down. After a moment, when her breath settled down, she raised her hand and knocked at the door. „Elsa?" she called hesitantly.
When there was no response for a while, she knocked more urgently. „Elsa, it's me, Anna. I need to talk to you. May I..."
„Go away, Anna," Elsa's shaky voice called back from behind the door.
Anna stepped back as if she got a slap. She hoped that she would never hear these words again. She shook her head angrily to recover and yelled back. „I'm not going away! I've come to talk to you and I will! So, I'm coming in whether you like..." she stepped forward and pulled the handle to open the door, but the door stayed closed, so she bumped into it with a loud thud. Anna stepped back again, rubbing her aching nose. She looked at the door in panic, when she realized what it meant. Elsa locked the door again? No. This can't be happening! Anna lunged forward and hit the door by her shoulder with all her might. „Elsa! Open the damned door! Now! I'm not going anywhere. Do you hear me?! Open it! ELSA!" she screamed and hit the door again. There was a strange cracking noise and the door suddenly loosened and swung open.
Anna stumbled into the room and gasped in surprise. The door wasn't locked. It was frozen over. The walls, furniture and the whole floor were covered in layers of snow and ice. Even Elsa's bed looked like a huge pile of snow and Elsa was lying on top of it, still in her nightgown. When Anna stormed in, Elsa looked up, setting her tearful eyes at her in surprise, but then she dug her head back into her pillows.
At the sight of her broken sister, Anna's anger dissipated. „Elsa?" she called softly and approached her bed. „Elsa, wh... what happened here? You haven't lost control again, have you?"
Elsa sniffed and shook her head. „No, I just... I didn't care," she sat up slowly and wiped tears off her face. She calmly inspected the condition of her room and made a quick gesture with her hand. The ice and snow started to vaporize immediately. Then she turned back to Anna.
With a sympathetic smile, Anna sat on Elsa's bed and embraced her tightly. „Oh, Elsa." Suddenly, she was unsure, what to say. All her preparations were for naught. „Have you got at least some sleep tonight?" she started.
Elsa laid her head on Anna's shoulder and shook her head with a mutter. Anna sighed and caressed her sister's hair gently. „It will be alright, you'll see." For long seconds, she was just holding her in her arms without a word. Finally, Anna decided to break the silence. „Elsa, I..."
„I killed them," Elsa interrupted her quietly.
„What?!" Anna exclaimed in shock.
„I killed our parents."
„No, you didn't!" Anna broke free from their embrace and gripped her sister's shoulders, forcing her to look in her eyes. „The damned storm did it, not you! Elsa, it wasn't your fault!"
„If it weren't for my powers, they would have never..." Elsa's eyes filled with tears again. „They feared me. And they were right. What good has my magic ever brought to me?"
„It's nonsense!" Anna almost shouted. „People love your magic. They love you! I don't believe that mom and dad feared you! They just wanted to help you! Do you really think that they set out on a journey to find that... Snow Queen just to get rid of your magic? No. They wanted you to learn, how to control it!"
„How can you be so sure?" Elsa sobbed, wiping her face in her sleeve. „Besides, I don't even believe that the mentioned Snow Queen even exists. There would be rumours."
„And why don't we find out?" Anna smirked cheerfully. „I'm sure you would be happy to find out that you're not the only person on the world to have these powers."
Elsa narrowed her eyes suspiciously. „What do you mean?"
„I've been already thinking about that," said Anna. „I will travel to Misthaven and find the Snow Queen. Then I'll persuade her to meet you. Maybe she could tell you more about your powers."
„No, Anna, no!" Elsa shook her head viciously and lunged at Anna. „You're the only person who has left to me, Anna! I would never forgive myself if anything happened to you because of me!"
„But..." Anna faltered in surprise. She didn't expect Elsa to be so shaken by the idea. „Elsa, I don't want to fight her I just wanted to talk..."
„No! I don't care, I won't let you! Do you hear me?" Elsa squeezed her tighter.
Anna sighed and embraced her gently back. „Oh, Elsa." She didn't want to hurt her. But the harm had already been done and Anna blamed herself for it. If she weren't so nosy, they would have never found the diary and Elsa wouldn't be suffering right now. Anna had to do something to help her. Even if it meant hurting her once more. „Everything will be fine, you'll see."
Two hours later, Anna was back in her room and packing. She was in a hurry, because she had to leave before Elsa puts herself together. Despite the mess she left over the whole room, there wasn't much she prepared for the journey. Just a thick, travel blanket, water bottle, one spare dress, a rope, flint and tinder and her faithful sword, Frostbite. And the damned diary. She can buy the rest on her way. Kristoff was sitting on her bed, watching his soon-to-be wife sceptically. „Are you sure, this is a good idea?" he asked for the hundredth time.
„Of course, I am," Anna grabbed her good old winter dress from the journey to the North Mountain and vanished behind a divider to get changed. „I messed things up so I have to fix it."
„And don't you think it might be a bit dangerous for you?" he objected. Again.
„No. I will just find the Snow Queen, talk to her and bring her to Arendelle," he got a response. Anna's dress flew over the divider and landed on his head. „How much worse could it be than our journey to bring back Elsa?"
„You mean worse than dire wolves, angry snow giants and treacherous princes?" Kristoff put the dress on the bed next to him. „Besides, do you remember that you ended up cursed and almost died?"
„Yup," she replied happily and peeked out from behind the divider. „And do you remember that I got my sister back, saved the whole kingdom and kicked Hans's ass?"
Kristoff let out a groan. He knew that arguing with her was pointless, but he had to try nevertheless. „Then why don't you let me accompany you? I can come in handy out there."
„No. Kristoff, I need you here." Anna sighed. „Elsa will freak out once she finds out that I left. I can't leave her here all alone. She will need a friend."
„And who says I will not freak out as well?" Kristoff stood up and threw a desperate look towards the divider. „Anna, you could get hurt out there. You can get lost. Someone can ambush you!"
„Nonsense," Anna came out with a smile, straightening her dress. „Kristoff, I will be fine. In two weeks I'm back and we will celebrate our wedding. I couldn't get married with my sister sad like that." She put her arms around Kristoff's neck and gave him a long, smacking kiss.
Kristoff sighed in resignation. „Just be sure to stay safe. I don't want to explain to Bulda that there will be no wedding again."
And the real journey can begin. Anna is on her way to bring back her sister again, but I guess, it won't be that easy this time :) Any comments are appreciated as always. See you next week.
