Chapter 11

"Good morning Patrick" Robin said as she approached the Nurses Station on her first day back to work.

"Good morning Robin" he said, smiling at her.

Witnessing the cordial exchange, Epiphany approached the two doctors. "What the hell is going on?"

They both looked up in surprise. "What do you mean?" Robin asked.

"You two" she said pointing back and forth between them. "You're being polite and kind with each other. What's wrong?"

Patrick smiled and looked at Robin before looking back at Epiphany. "Nothing's wrong – we just said good morning."

"Yes but that was a normal good morning – normally it's either laced with innuendo or frustration but it's never just nice."

Patrick and Robin both laughed. "Epiphany" Robin said reassuringly "Everything is fine."

"Mmm-hmm" she replied, unconvinced. "Well make sure it stays that way. Don't forget about the all staff meeting at 11 am in the lecture room"

"Okay." Patrick looked at Robin. "See you later?"

"Sure – do you um, want to go for a coffee later?"

Patrick gave her a small smile. "Sure – so long as you promise not to spill it on me."

Robin slapped his arm. "Jerk" she teased before walking away.

The doctors and nurses crowded into the lecture room. Robin sat at the back with Kelly and Lainey.

"What is Sonny Corinthos doing here?" Kelly asked.

Robin looked down at the front and was surprised to see him sitting there. They had been friends once, close friends but circumstances and choices put an enormous amount of distance between them – physical and emotional. She also knew that as the head of Port Charles' crime family he was not the most welcome person at the hospital so his presence was made all the more curious by the fact that he was deep in conversation with Alan.

"He's kind of hot in a bad boy type of way". Robin and Lainey both stared at Kelly with their mouths open.

"Oh god, Kel – you need to get out and meet some better men" Lainey replied quickly.

Robin nodded in agreement. "Really Kelly, I think we might have to Dr. Phil you on this one."

"What? All I said is he's kind of sexy"

"Who's sexy?" Patrick said as he sat down beside Lainey.

"No one" Kelly said quickly.

Lainey turned to Patrick. "Kelly was just expounding on the virtues of bad boys. Care to add anything?" she asked sweetly.

He raised his eyebrows as Robin started to snicker. "Nothing to add Lainey – I'm not a bad boy."

Kelly and Lainey turned to Robin. "Is that true Rob?"

"No comment" she said staring straight ahead, trying not to laugh.

"Thanks Robin – not feeling the love"

"Shh – Alan is about to start" she chided trying to get out of a sticky situation.

Alan called everyone to attention. "Colleagues, thank you so much for taking time out of your schedules to join me here this morning. I have some wonderful news that I know will be of great interest to you all. It is with great pleasure that I announce the return of the General Hospital Nurses Ball" Alan had barely got the words out when the room erupted in applause. "Okay. Let me finish. The ball will be held in one month's time in the ballroom of the MetroCourt hotel. The funds raised will be split between AMFAR and GH's Stone Cates Memorial AIDS wing. I am also exceptionally pleased to announce that Mr. Sonny Corinthos has offered to underwrite the entire cost of the ball meaning that 100 of the money raised will reach the two groups."

Robin sat back in her chair and exhaled. No matter the distance between her and Sonny, they would always be anchored by memories of Stone. She was just glad that he had remembered.

"Now before you all leave here to start planning your performances" Alan continued "There is one more announcement that I would like to make. The Board of Directors has unanimously voted to present its Distinctive Service award to Dr. Robin Scorpio in recognition of all the work and fundraising she has done to raise awareness for HIV/AIDS. The award will be presented at the Nurses Ball."

Robin's mouth fell open in shock. Lainey and Kelly both squealed and started patting her shoulders. Other colleagues turned around to offer their congratulations. Patrick couldn't tear his eyes from Robin's face and was the only one who saw that she was less than thrilled about Alan's announcement.

She stood up. "I should, um, go talk, er, say hello to Sonny" she said, smoothing out her skirt. Patrick watched her descend the steps, smiling in recognition of people's congratulations.

"So Patrick" Kelly said turning to him "Can we expect you to take the stage at the Nurses Ball?"

He shook his head. "Uh, no. I'm a cheque writer not a performer. Excuse me" he said getting up and heading back to his office.

Robin walked towards Sonny who smiled broadly at her and took her in his arms. "Sonny, thank you for doing this."

"I miss you" he said into her ear. "And I miss him"

Robin broke their embrace but kept hold of his hands. "I miss him too" she said, her eyes filling with water. "And I miss being able to talk about him with you"

Sonny kissed her cheek. "Maybe this can be a fresh start?"

Robin smiled. "I'd like that."

"Okay then. We'll talk soon" Robin nodded before leaving to seek refuge in her lab.

She was sitting in her chair, lost in thought, when a knock at the door pulled her from her fog. Patrick walked in brandishing two coffees.

"Hey" he said, passing one to her.

"Hey – delivered coffee? I am spoiled" she said lightly.

"So a Nurses Ball?" he said, settling into the chair across from her.

"Yeah – it should be lots of fun. Everyone gets so into it. Some of the performances are hysterical. Are you thinking of performing?"

Patrick scoffed. "Hard as this may be to believe but I actually don't have any artistic talent outside of the OR."

Robin smiled. "I think I've heard you attempt to sing in the car and I would agree"

"My dad plays guitar though, so who knows, maybe he'll get up there and do some kind of AC/DC cover song" Patrick began to shudder.

"I think I would pay a lot of money to see that!"

Patrick took a long sip of his coffee. "You seemed a little less than thrilled about the award they're going to give you."

"Picked up on that did you?" Robin grinned. "It just kind of came out of the blue."

"But something about it bugs you, what is it?"

Robin ran her hand through her hair. "Well, I just don't know why I'm getting it, that's all."

"Didn't Alan say something about all your work in the field?"

Robin exhaled. "But that's the thing – I've given a lot of speeches over time, including at the Nurses Ball and I've done some fundraising but nothing that I've done should qualify me for a distinctive service award."

"Well maybe you've done more than you think you have" he offered.

"I'm not trying to be humble Patrick."

"Then what's bothering you?"

Robin bit her lip and fidgeted with her pen on her desk. "It just feels like I'm getting an award because I have HIV rather than because I've done great things for the cause."

"Ah" he said, unsure of what else to say.

"I don't want to be rewarded for living with HIV for 10 years or be rewarded for not having died yet."

Patrick flinched slightly at her words. "Well, what about refusing the award?"

Robin smiled. "I can't. I know enough about how these things work that it would cause the hospital no end of embarrassment if I did that."

"So you're willing to live with personal embarrassment to save the hospital? That's twisted"

Robin gave him an indignant look. "Patrick, this is my hometown – where I grew up. The majority of the Board of Directors have known me since I was a child and have watched me grow up and where there when I was diagnosed with HIV. Alan was the doctor who told me. So as uncomfortable as this may be for me, I cannot throw it back in their faces."

Patrick held up his hands. "I meant no offense Robin. I'm sure you'll do the right thing – you always do."

"What does that mean?"

Patrick shook his head. "I didn't come here for a fight and as we seem to be hurtling down the fast track to one, I'm just going to go" he said standing up and heading to the door.

Robin watched him leave before slamming her hands down on the desk. "Dammit" she said under her breath.

She hadn't meant to pick a fight with him but she had never been very good at channeling her anger and it tended to pop out in the most untimely ways. She wasn't angry with Patrick, she was angry with herself. The award was a great honour and she should be gracious in accepting it but the idea of it made her uncomfortable. She had a month to come up with the right speech, to say the right things. And that's when it hit her. Realization dawned that her discomfort stemmed from the idea that once again she would have to say the right things, the things that would make everyone else comfortable with the fact that she was HIV .

Patrick walked to the locker room and kicked at his locker. He had tried to be comforting to her and had screwed it up. He had always thought he was powerless to comfort another person and this just proved it again.

"What did that poor locker ever do to you?"

"Elizabeth" Patrick said flatly.

"Gee, don't seem so happy to see me."

"Should I be?"

"What's the matter – run out of your favourite hair gel this morning?" she asked sarcastically.

The tone of her voice forced him to look up and he started to laugh. "Sorry – you caught me in a moment."

"Evidently. So what's wrong between you and Robin now?"

He did a double take. "What makes you think it involves Robin?"

"Oh please Patrick. Robin is under your skin so deeply, there's no getting rid of her and therefore most of your moods, good and bad, involve her. So did you screw up again?"

He exhaled. "No" he was emphatic in his response. "Robin and I are opting to remain friends since I can't give her what she wants."

"Which is?"

"An exclusive relationship"

Elizabeth looked at Patrick, studying his face. It was clear from his eyes that he was putting on a brave front, that he was hurt over the change in their relationship. "Chicken."

"Pardon?"

"You heard me"

"Thanks Liz, your support is heartwarming."

She walked over and stood in front of him. "You can spend the next few months bemoaning the fact that you don't have her or you could actually try and do something about it."

He shook his head. "I can't. I will only hurt her."

"Patrick, how stupid do you think I am?" He raised his eyebrows "On second thought don't answer that." He smiled at her. "When are you going to clue in to the fact that you're not worried about hurting Robin."

"You're wrong Liz – I know I'll hurt and I don't want that – she deserves more."

"You're not worried about hurting her" she repeated "You're terrified that she'll hurt you."