Dean POV


Cas still isn't talking to me, and I still don't know why. I tried to ask Sam, but he's being a little bitch about it...as per usual.

Also, half the school now hates me….I knew this year was going to suck.

I try not to grumble as I meander down the bazillion sets of stairs for breakfast, key word being try. Honestly, this school needs to invest in an elevator, or at least make the stairs move vertically as well as horizontally!

Reaching the corridor that leads to great hall, I pause to catch my breath, gazing through the open doors.

Huffing, I head in. I stop short just inside the double doors, where three very familiar faces stand smirking in front of me.

Oh, this spells trouble.

Gabriel is furthest from me, finishing painting something on the floor with...pink paint.

I think is some sort of variation of the Pentagram used to ward off demonic possession.

….where did he even get that from?

On either side of the...drawing?...Fred and George stand looking at me with large smiles.

Why am I friends with these lunatics again?

Deciding the only way I was going to get any answers was by straight up asking, I pipe up with a simple, "what are three doing, and more importantly, why haven't you been stopped?"

Fred and George laugh in response, "well, we pulled a dandy this morning, setting the entire faculty's alarms to go off an hour late, but apparently Gabe has a second part planned."

They both turn to look at the painted pentagram on the floor sceptical, finishing with, "though, to be honest, I'm not entirely sure what exactly he's planned, he won't give us a straight answer…"

Oh, this spells serious trouble….

Gabe finishes up his...picture...and stands with a scowl, looking to both sibling with afront.

"I told you! We're going to summoning Satan!"

….Wait….What!?

The twins share a look, scoffing. "Sure" they say in unison.

….he's joking, right?

"Gabriel? ….You do realize, that's a pentagram….right? You know, like, demonic symbol pentagram?"

He scoffs again, "obviously"

Next to him, the twins turn back to the symbol, a bit more wary.

Well fuck, this is going to end poorly.

The back door (the one the staff usually uses) to the great hall opens to admit several disgruntled looking teachers, Snape looking particularly murderous. Strangely, Shurley is missing.

Gabriel casts a Tempus charm, revealing the time.

"Where's your brother?" I ask him, deciding it was better to be safe than sorry.

Gabriel smirks at me, "oh, he'll be here. I left him a midnight surprise, so he should be getting out of the shower right about…."

Oh, this is definitely going to end poorly.

"NOW!" Gabriel shouts, resulting in the entire great hall turning to look at us.

Not even a moment later, the paint on the ground begins to glow ominously…

...Oh fuck.

Several of the faculty stand to approach, but by the time any of them are around the head table the pentagram is already a literal column of light.

I can see something land within.

OH FUCK!

Thinking quickly, I leap forward to pull Fred and George behind me, having no time to get to the still grinning Gabriel.

The column dissipates, and look into the eyes of that within…

...the striking familiar ice blue eyes of the one within…

...Professor Shurley's eyes?!

He squints at me, hissing an irritable, and slightly confused "Mr. Winchester" through clenched teeth.

I open my mouth to respond but I stop short when my eyes catch a flash of red. I look down….

….to find the the professor is wearing nothing but a towel….

….one that is not covering very much at all….

OK, I am SO not taking the fall for THIS one!

His eyes follow mine, and widen when he realises, and he rapidly turns his gaze back up at the slack jawed twins and I in rage.

He opens his mouth to (no doubt) scream his head off, but is cut off by the little shit behind him.

"Hey bro" is all Gabriel says, resulting in the beast turning around sharply.

I can't see his expression from this angle, but by the tensing of his shoulders I can tell he's either pissed, or utterly horrified.

...probably both.

The entire great hall, including the faculty stares wide eyed in silence.

...and then Gabriel starts to laugh. The asshole.

From the Gryffindor table Lavender Brown's voice carries, "damn...too bad he had a towel"

Balthazar's voice is less subtle, "oh fuck, now I need brain bleach!"

"I agree," I respond loudly, trying desperately not to look in the direction of the naked educator (unlike the majority of the female student body, and some of the male) "got any extra?"

Balthazar smiles at me savagely, "only if you want to drink the bottle."

From across the room, Harriet (with one hand covering her eyes) pipes up, "I wasn't listening, but I agree!"

"I was asking for brain bleach, to get rid of the image this is conjuring!" I clarify agrily, trying to tune out the hissed words Professor Shurley is spouting in another language, for fear of catching sight of anything else.

"I agree to that too." Harriet replies moodily.

"Really?" that's actually kind of surprising.

She turns to look at me with distaste.

"Nevermind, I take it back." she says haughty. Bitch.

From the head table, a voice cuts through the silence, "well, as entertaining as this may be…"

The headmaster looks amused, but also kinda confused...join the club.

"Perhaps you should robe yourself more thoroughly, Lucifer, before commencing with breakfast…"

...Lucifer? That's a weird thing to call a colleague.

Professor Shurley turns sharply from Gabriel (who is still rolling on the ground at this point) to look at Dumbledore in what I'm guessing is pure rage.

"TRUST ME, headmaster, if I could LEAVE this wretched circle, I WOULD!" he snarls, spinning back to Gabriel.

"You have three seconds, Gabriel, then all bets are off!" he says in english, though Gabriel only responds by laughing harder.

Ah, the joy of having a younger brother. I think I might actually relate be able to the asshat on this one.

..oh, that's an unpleasant thought. Moving on.

"Common Luci! Give em a show! Heaven knows how much you like to preen!" Gabriel manages to choke out between gwaffs.

From the Slytherin table, I can hear Fire Zukini mutter to another snake beside him, "well, there goes are chances of winning the house cup this year…" he deadpans

The boy next to him scoffs, "yeah, but the Gryffindorks have the twins and Winchester senior, so neither will they."

Snakes are such assholes.

From the area deemed 'do not look for fear of having my eyes burned out of their sockettes' Gabriel and Professor 'owns too small towels' have switched back to the unfamiliar language they were speaking earlier. The hall remains mostly silent, with a few whispered comments here and there. Apparently, naked teachers are a good way of shutting people up.

Behind me, I hear a footsteps scurrying down the corridor, only to stop short somewhere to my right.

Cas was late to breakfast. Maybe she'll talk to me now?

Cas looks adorable when she tilts her head to the side, and I can see her working through what happening in her head. She turns to look at me curiously.

She's looking at me! Progress!

"I have no idea. I was late too, I only just walked in as it happened" I say, trying my damndest to come off as sincere.

Cas likes Professor Shurley. I do not want to piss her off again. Gabriel can take the blame for this one, I want no part.

….ok, also? Professor Shurley looks ready to commit mass genocide. And that's kinda terrifying, sooooo….

Cas's speaks up, sounding… not confused but more esaperated than anything else.

"Gabriel, what did you do?"

Gabriel cackles again from the floor "holy oil and sulphuric paint!"

...what does that even mean?

Cas sighs, shaking her head at his antics, "one of these days Gabriel, someone is going to give you a taste of your own medicine."

"On, TRUST ME, Castiel, it won't be long from now!" the trapped professor growls out.

Cas nods at him, quietly approaching the pink circle surrounding him, and then swiftly pulling out her wand and pointing at it. She waves it downward, leaving a break in the paint.

"Thank you, Castiel," the professor bites out, turning immediately back to Gabriel afterwards.

"This isn't over, little brother! Mark my words!" he seethes.

Yep, Gabriel's gonna die.

The professor gets a good grip of his towel (thank god!) and turns to stalk from the room.

Gabriel (the idiot) shouts after him, "Happy Devil's night Luci! Maybe that'll teach you to get BIGGER TOWELS!"

The professor doesn't even turn around, instead calling over his shoulder "IT'S NINE IN THE MORNING, GABRIEL!"

Behind him, the doors to the great hall close with a resounding BANG.

Cas sighs again, the turns to me. "Good morning, Dean," she says before turning to walk toward the Ravenclaw table to sit with her group of friends.

She talking to me!

Gabriel finally manages to pulls himself off the floor to go sit with the rest of his table, and after looking up toward the head table to find Professor McGonagall giving us The Look, me and the twins decide to follow him.

Sitting down, we find Fire and he boy he was talking to earlier scowling at us, with Malfoy pretending we don't exist. What else is new.

"Really, Gabriel, must you practically give the Puffs and Claws the house cup every year?" the unknown snake snarks (heh, snake snarks, say that ten time fast!)

"Oh, come off it Theo! That was comedy gold!" is Gabe's response.

"Your brother is going to murder you in your sleep." Fire deadpans.

I snort, "yeah, I agree with Zukini Gabe, you're a dead man walking."

Gabriel spits out his drink, and the twins both fall out of their seats in laughter.

What did I say now?!

Fire gapes at me, "what did you just call me?!"

Oh, shit. "Um, Zukini? Is that not your name? Fire Zukini?"

He goes to draw his wand in anger (so I guess that's a no, then?) when Sam (from across the fucking room) shouts, "Blaise Zambini, moron!"

Oh….well fuck.

Staring down my nose at the wand pointed at my chest, I'm just about to claim innocence (i mean, come on, i was close!) when Gabe manages to speak again.

Cackling like a hyena he says dramatically, "and then, out of nowhere, the Fire Nation attacked!"

Blaise (apparently) stops short, and turns to Gabriel warily, "what?"

"Come on, haven't you ever seen Avatar?" Gabe asks seriously.

Theo (I think that was his name anyway) responds with, "um, no?"

Gabe scoffs again, "bloody uncultured purebloods and their naivete."

Blaise lowers his wand to rub at his temple, "for the last fucking time Gabriel, YOU ARE A PUREBLOOD"

Gabe waves his hand through the air dismissively. What is he on?

"Give up Blaise, it's a lost cause." Theo tells him.

Thankfully, this calms him down enough to forget about my fuck up.

Thank you Gabriel!

Wait, I forgot to ask about earlier.

"Gabriel, why didn't your brother react when the headmaster called him Lucifer earlier? Seems kinda harsh, doesn't it, given the circumstances."

Gabriel looks at me like I've grown a second head, and glancing around I see he isn't the only one.

Draco finally gives up trying to ignore us to answer me.

"Winchester, Lucifer is his name. Lucifer Samael Shurley, second in line to the most noble house of Lord Shurley," he says slowly, like I'm some dumb little kid.

...Wait, What?

"Lucifer? like...Satan, Lucifer?" I ask, flabbergasted.

Gabriel snorts, "yup, the one and only."

I gape. "That explains SO MUCH!"

Finally, something in this fucking school makes sense!


Authors Note: Hello! Happy April Fools Day! Hope you all enjoy this months chapter! School will be ending in a few weeks which means ill be heading home for the summer! Yay me! It also means that I will be reunited with my co-author and lovely cousin. So keep an eye out for more fequent updates once May rolls around!